#ad;

Joel called me when he was drunk. Of course he yelled at me for quite a while which is understandable, I did cheat on him. The thing is we were always so far away, our 'relationship' was hidden, he was getting too close to me, and Joel wanted an open relationship but I don't think he understood what that meant. I should have talked to him before I did it. I should have, but it's too late. As time went on, he kept telling me how much he misses and loves me. It kept breaking my heart the more he rambled because I couldn't help but think; drunk words are sober thoughts. Probably not true in the slightest. Before hanging up he asked to stay on the line with him and I listened to him fall asleep and as he began to make those soft little snores I broke down and had to hang up because I miss him so much. So now, it's back to sleeping around to numb myself. Max is pretty cool and so is Adore. Let's see how many more notches I can make on my belt before I need a new one. Also an apology in advance to anyone I fuck up with me along the way.