#actualbird

Hi Zak!! :D

And ooh, okay these are fun. Here's what I've got (and grab a drink, this one's a long one):

Artem and Crafts

This one is just gonna be a crack/comedy combination. It's Neil and Celestine co-hosting a mockumentary-type show (the show is called Artem and Crafts, which is a play on Arts and Crafts). What happens is they bring in a very clueless Artem and make him do crafts.

NEIL: Experiment #23. Paper snowflakes.

ARTEM: Wh -- you're still filming?

CELESTINE: While the last five paper-related crafts have not gone... smoothly, there is still hope for the subject.

ARTEM: For the last time, stop calling me that.

CELESTINE: Let's go in for a closer look.

-

ARTEM: You want me to cut paper snowflakes?

NEIL: It's quite simple. See this sheet of paper here? You just fold... and cut.

ARTEM: Fold and cut. [He folds a sheet of paper into a square and makes jagged cuts into it. He looks up.]

ARTEM: Are we going out for lunch after this?

[The camera zooms out to reveal various untouched items on a table behind him, not limited to but including: needles and wool felt, glitter, sand, nail polish, and banana leaves.]

CELESTINE: Uh... sure. [turning to the camera] We will be taking a short break after this to make sure the subject is fed.

The fic ends with a pile of crafts and one very successful origami boat. Artem is still relatively clueless, but Celestine and Neil close the fic by asking if he wants to see a movie after this.

CELESTINE: So... you wanna go out for a movie after this?

NEIL: Consider it payment for putting you through this today.

[ARTEM considers it.]

ARTEM: All right. But I get to pick.

CELESTINE: Sounds good to me. Just let me get the camera.

[CELESTINE walks up to the camera. She clicks a button, the camera shuts off, and the video ends.]

how many over-accomplished adults does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Okay, this is also going to be crack/comedy, although maybe less so than the previous one. It might not work if you think too much about it, but maybe that's part of the fun. It's just DAVIS deciding to screw with the NXX.

Essentially, the big square light in the NXX HQ burns out in the middle of a stressful meeting. Grateful for the break, everyone puts a pause on things while Vyn goes hunting for some linear light bulbs or whatever the square light uses. Meanwhile, Luke shuts off the power and unscrews the old lightbulb. Vyn comes back with the lights and a ladder, screws in the new lights, and flips the light switch.

It doesn't turn on.

Vyn flips it on and off several times, then gives up. "I think I may have another spare somewhere," he says, and goes trudging off again.

When he comes back, Luke takes the new light bulb from him, unscrews the old one, and tries to screw this one in. "No offense, Vyn, but maybe you did it wrong. Or something."

It doesn't work for Luke, so Artem gives it a shot and goes through with the whole unscrew/screw-back process. The light still doesn't turn on, so Marius takes the previous light bulb from before and tries that while Luke fiddles with the power box. Still nothing. Everyone is stumped.

"Did you try turning it on and off again?" DAVIS pipes up, very innocently.

"Vyn already did that," Marius says.

Since everyone has their hands full or is busy with something, MC gives it a shot and flips the light switch again. The lights turn on, Marius almost falls off the ladder, and everyone looks at the lights, stunned.

DAVIS congratulates them, then thanks them for answering a question he's been storing in his memory for a while.

"What question?" Luke goes.

"How many of you it takes to screw in a lightbulb, with me tampering," DAVIS answers, and vanishes cutely back into MC's phone.

wait the time it takes to find a place called home

This one is not gonna be crack/comedy, hehe.

So here's what I'm thinking: we're gonna have a countdown. It's going to start from 5 and go all the way to 0. Some parts work better conceptually than practically, but I think the general idea is there :D

(Also, with hindsight: what happened to summarizing??😆)

5

We're going to open with Vyn as he steps into Stellis for the first time. A breeze wafts through his hair as he takes off his glasses to wipe them clean. We weave through several scenes of his future from there, from moving into a new house, meeting Giann, and setting up the research center, all the way to the founding of the original NXX. The last scene is of Vyn in his armchair, in the house we are so familiar with. It is late evening, and classical music is playing in the background. He thinks he could be happy, or is at least beginning to be.

4

We then cut to Marius as he steps out from a plane. He's just returned from Florence, and while he's stressed, tired, and anxious, part of him is happy to be back. Like with Vyn, we move through multiple scenes, sort of like through a roll of film or slides on an old projector. We see Marius settling into his new role as Pax CEO, painting in his studio, wandering the empty halls of his mansion. We see Marius hunting for information for his brother late at night. We end with Marius in his studio, finishing the last stroke on a canvas. He rubs his Z tag between his finger and thumb, and looks out through the window at a vast, dark sky.

3

Then, Luke. We cut to him as he places a hand over his eyes to shield himself from the sun. He releases a soft sigh as he walks into a city he has not set foot in for the past eight years. Things are different now -- he can point out unfamiliar buildings and new shops where old ones have closed -- and he almost feels like a stranger to a place he had once called home. We follow Luke as he settles into his new place, works his job at the bar, and sets up his antique shop. In the last scene, we see him at his desk, reading over an envelope with a magnifying glass. A framed photo sits at the corner of his desk; it's of him and his childhood friend. Luke pauses to pull the photo frame away from the edge of the desk, but as he picks it up, he can't help but linger over the photo. Peanut chirps softly, like he's asking a question. Luke glances at him, then shakes his head and sets down the photo frame. He needs to focus on his work.

2

We're going to cut to Artem after Luke. We follow him as he enters the newly established Themis Law Firm. Celestine grins at him and offers a fist bump, and he smiles and touches his fist to hers. We move into a number of scenes again, cutting between more domestic scenes as Artem goes to the library, plays with children at the orphanage, and drives circles around town, and work-related scenes as he scrolls through his tablet in his office, stands in court to defend a client, and sits through both online and in-person meetings. In a more vulnerable scene, we see him pass a photo of his father and linger on it, for a moment, before walking away. Cuts between scenes begin to increase as the scenes themselves begin to repeat, creating a loop of mounting stress and endless repetition. We flash back and finally stop at Artem waving goodbye to Neil. He does not know it will be his last time.

1

The final person we focus on is MC herself. As Artem enters the law firm, the camera follows him until we see MC in the background. We stop, and as Artem walks away we begin to zoom in on MC. She's laughing at something Kiki has said. We pause, and then the clock turns back eight years. We see MC mostly alone in the following scenes. We watch her as she waits for a friend to visit on his birthday, but never does. We see her as she graduates high school, searching the audience for her parents or that childhood friend who left, but they are nowhere to be found. We see her as she smashes a glass door to pieces after accidentally trapping herself on her balcony. But we also see her performing a play with college students, making phone calls to unknown people, and shaking hands with Celestine Taylor. We fast forward again, and finally stop to find MC walking to work. A delivery person is waiting outside, and when she finds that the package he holds is for Artem, she takes it and enters the law firm.

0

We fade out from MC and wait in the darkness for a few moments. It's silent. Then we fade in onto a bright room with five seats around a glass table. Five people are standing in the room, four of them glaring daggers at each other. We are finally seeing Vyn, Marius, Luke, Artem, and MC all in the same place. Spinning around, Luke grabs MC's hand and pulls her out of the room.

We then switch to a series of smaller scenes: MC nodding as she reaffirms her decision to join the team, Vyn rolling his eyes at something Marius says, Artem raising a hand in greeting as he meets the four of them outside court. We see Vyn, Luke, Artem, and Marius react as a young boy presses a kiss to MC's cheek in thanks.

Then we cut to a ship, cruising across the ocean, and pan to an island beach, where Artem, Luke, Marius, and Vyn are gathering supplies. We linger there for a moment, then pan up to a cliff as all five team members walk to the edge of a cliff to watch the sun rise. MC smiles as she points out something on the horizon.

We keep going: following the five of them as they wander through abandoned manors, discuss plans in the safety of their headquarters, and drive to unknown locations. Finally, we stop back at headquarters, zooming into the walls to transition to: the lounge. Vyn is reading near a bookshelf as Artem makes himself a cup of coffee. As Marius naps on a sofa bed, Luke speaks softly to Peanut. MC sits under the stairs, a hot cup of tea and a folder of documents in her hand. She looks up to see the people around her and smiles to herself.

She's finally feeling at home.

And she thinks that the rest of them might be, too.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ZAK!!!

hdkdbfn i trick or treated until i was like,, 13 and by then i was 'too cool' to trick or treat but i should've trick or treated more :( (tbf tho i'm not the biggest candy eater so i'm not that miffed about it) but this is the first year (aside from you know, covid) none of us go trick or treating! cuz my youngest sib is also in the 'too cool to trick or treat' phase of their life

i'm so excited for the discount candy bags the day after tho LMAOOO

you get a trick!!! bc i have memes to give like candy lolol

listen, zak. I love eliot spencer. so much. and I love the idea of him totally emotionally destroying quinn even more. so here's an excerpt:

When they were done, Eliot got his breath back and asked, “Who do you work for?”

“Your pillow talk can use some work,” Quinn said, collapsing back onto the mattress with a sigh. “You don’t see me bringing up your arms dealer boss while we’re in bed.”

Eliot caged Quinn in with his arms and looked down at him. “Are you using me to get intel?”

“Right, because your dick is so talkative.” Quinn rolled his eyes. “Relax, Spencer. I’m having sex with you for fun, not for some secret agenda. And no, I’m not telling you anything else today, so stop trying to interrogate me.”

hooo okay this is INCREDIBLY self indulgent, and probably not THAT coherent but ill try my best here.

warning: this isnt a very nuanced take i literally only thought about it because i saw the words "artem" and "tits" in the same sentence and also happen to be a lesbian.

ESSENTIALLY what makes the idea of lesbian artem more compelling to me than, say, marius or vyn (although now that i'm thinking about luke there is some Potential there) is kind of everything about how he goes about romance, how he tries to connect with mc, and his relationships with others in general.

we've seen MULTIPLE times that when he tries to get close to her - and he often only builds up the courage to do this after a LOT of bullying from celestine who, and i CANNOT stress this enough, is definitely fucking his mom.

right so when he tries to get close to mc there's always this terribly awkward fumbling leadup to the most tame not-date you've ever heard of. one of his cards is them hanging out on a work trip. they studied together. they went to see a movie and ended up at a drive in (the most romantic of theatres) OUT OF NECESSITY. mc is generally pretty oblivious, but that is NEXT LEVEL with artem bc he (deliberately!! on at least some levels!!) tries to make it look like his every action is Friendly and Platonic, which i think also stems from how he thinks others see him - (borrowing from sr sparks here) especially in the workplace, as overly stern and unsociable and generally intimidating and uh. threatening, so he's constantly trying to counterbalance that and tipping the scale too far in the other direction.

but then on the other end, he IS incredibly repressed and shy about showing affection, like even as he's trying to open up and show her that he DOES care about her, he doesn't quite know how, he gets embarrassed and he thinks that even the smallest gesture is Too Much. he definitely feels that he kind of missed the boat on coming into relationships organically and is playing catch up compared to everyone else. that book! he has a relationships for dummies book that celestine got him at least PARTIALLY to make fun of him, and he was upset about it but he kept it and he READS it and even when he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous he keeps trying because he KNOWS just how over his head he is.

i was gonna talk about his general lack of close friendships and what ive kind of inferred about his mentorship with neil, and the close bond they formed etc etc but me projecting on all my english teachers isnt exactly Conclusive Lesbian Artem Evidence lol. the vibes are there and this is getting pretty long anyway,,

gonna cap it off with basically viewing artem through a lesbian lense is very interesting to me! it kind of brings a different perspective to his actions and mindset and i think tears of themis could use some more sexy lady lawyers! i am personally advocating for this.

OH WAIT i was gonna say also your post about artem being flustered by sideboob. VERY informative here, and then all those discussions youve been having about guilt irt luke in particular, but artem has his own little complex going on and. RIGHT particularly about him setting up benchmarks for himself in order to "earn" things, particularly things that shouldnt have to be earned, like setting himself to a ridiculously high standard to prove his worth so that he may partake in like. Joy. as a concept, and then of course the flipside of that where any misstep is pretty heavily penalized if not actively then just in his mindset and the kind of self-worth and self-image issues he has going on there. all VERY compelling. like (sr sparks again i just love everything it had to say about his character) deciding that he was going to learn to cook and then going out and buying all this specific equipment for it so that he could Do It Right and this level of meticulous self criticism that he brings to everything he does, even his hobbies! this man is insane. oh and hes a feminist so like jot that down.

pretty clear that weve kind of lost the original point here so i'm gonna stop. i hope this makes sense!!! if it doesnt i will edit it in the morning. for now ill leave you with this:

the kiddie table,,, but hogwarts :// 

@suhsire 

Bonnie /  @actualbird

Agatha / @elesii

Caleb / @hurricanesunny

skater boy by avril lavigne starts playing

BELIEVE IT OR NOT THIS IS FROM THE BAKUNAWA AU

listen i fucking suck at humans but give me an animal and i will draw it like that

so werewolf rich and his stinky dad >: (