#activebystander

@atxasteria​

Haneul was lost. He had somehow managed to lose his group, during the tour, no less, and was aimlessly walking around, trying to see if he could miraculously stumble upon them again. There was a small directions board, and he figured he would try and make sense of where he was. The group had said they were going to visit a training room, but the letters on the board were less than helpful. He hadn't really had an education before, and his reading and writing skills were on par with that of a first grader. Actually first graders were probably more familiar with reading and writing than he was.

It took him a while, but the words on the board slowly started to make sense. "Caf...te...ria?" He mumbled the parts of the word before it clicked in his head what the word said. Cafeteria! Haneul's face broke into a small smile of success. Now to find the training room. Training should start with T-R, right? He was scanning the board for words that started with those letters, when he heard a condescending voice from just behind him.

"Are you actually lost in here? What were doing? Got lost in the big boy's section of the gift shop?" The insult didn't make much sense to Haneul; the school didn't have a gift shop. But he was aware that the tone wasn't a good one, and the mocking lilt gave away that he was being taunted. He stayed quiet, turning around to face not one but two physically larger males. Instantly, his fingernails found the palm of his hand and dug in as he tried not to have a panic attack right there. It probably wouldn't help his case.

"Are you a mute on top of being dumb? How long does it take someone to find a room on a map anyways? Can't you read, dumbass? Maybe your group ditched you because you're just dragging them down." 

I feel like I’ve been going through a period in my life where I’ve been an expert bystander. I mean I’m a diligent third wheel in my own life. It’s like there’s this big production with the leading characters and assisting roles, the stage hands, the lighting crew and the whole nine yards and I’m just off to the side pulling the curtains. I’m there. Participating. But not the lead character. So here’s what’s happening: I’m going about my days, going through the motion, functioning – in one sense of the word. But my actions are not a result of any direct planning. And in essence, there’s no purpose to what I am doing. Scary. What is even worse is that I’ve only just realized this a few days ago. It’s a phase. It happens. We shouldn’t take life too seriously or we’ll end up stressing ourselves out (insert emoticon).

What’s more stressing than an unfulfilled life? We should be bothered about not being active in our own lives. After all we are the key ingredient in our success or failure. I found I’ve been developing a routine of “later”, “soon”, “maybe” and “I’ll try”. Procrastination 101. This is a sure recipe for failure, depression and jealousy. I mean, I think we’ve all been there when we see those persons that are our age who’ve accomplished so much already and are doing exactly what they wanted with their lives… and you’ve done absolutely nothing with your life. What does that lead to jealousy, depression?  Or… motivation! The persons who are getting ahead in life and who seem to have life figured out are persons who are actively and aggressively participating in their lives. Things don’t happen to them. They make thing happen. I’m no expert on how to be successful (except trust God) but I’ve gotten the active bystander thing to an art so I can tell you patterns to be wary of:

1)      Not challenging yourself

2)      Putting today’s work off for tomorrow (that’s like leaving tons of dirty dishes in the sink for the next day)

3)      Making plans and not sticking to them

4)      Not making plans

5)      Giving 50% when you can give at least 75%

6)      Not taking risks

7)      Excuses

Another thing: if your friends’ lives hold more appeal to you than yours then you’re a bystander in your life. Do things you love and love the things you do.