#lovenothate

Assassins, Witches, Wizards, the Luggage, Seamstresses and Feegles all walked the parade and celebrated the diversity of life.

The sun shone brightly and the atmosphere was electric.

Huge thank you to the organisers, volunteers and entertainers who made the day so colourful especially our Section E marshal who was eager to know more about Terry's works.

when i began my social media presence i told myself to not get into political matters, but i felt like this needed to be done and said. elections are a little bit of a tricky subject right now, with recounting votes and electoral college and all other procedures that i'm not familiar with, but i still wanted to draw something about it.

Insecurity, is evil. We are all evildoers. Like we are all fragile, the right words shattering us into millions of different pieces. So we must appear to be secure, thick-skinned. Our self-confidence could be waning, depleted, regardless our steeled exteriors show what is to be an entirely different story. An image of an easy-going, sociable, likeable person is what we all aspire to be. That person that everyone would want to make sure they invite to the next social gathering. I have been frequenting social gatherings myself, that being the largest motivator for this topic. Someone I know, who I thought I knew, lacks the confidence to share their real, authentic thoughts about a topic as open as life. I still wonder how they process the world, how they generally feel, day in and day out. It is not my place to poke and prod until I get an answer, what you think about the world is deeply personal. I just find it so interesting how we are all so alike, yet we relentlessly go on with this daily babble. It is so difficult for us to even say how we really feel. Our perceptions of others are anecdotal. We only know as much as someone will tell. So we are always in this constant state of blurred reality. Like we are desperate to forget our problems, yet the problems linger. The scent never quite washing away. Our problems fester, grow, become something larger than us, something we cannot defeat alone. The problems however, are the cause for insecurity. Our inability to surpass problems, our inability to trust in ourselves criples any sense of positive motion within our lives. We stand infront of progress because of a silly thought process. “If I say this, what will they think of me?”. The people you should consider confiding in, obviously, are the ones who understand you. People who lack the ability to judge, scrutinize or prod. People who listen, fully, to what you have to say. I am aware this is much easier said, than done. Who can you trust? Trust, is all emotion. Like this physical contract you place with another person and as soon as the contract is broken, the relationship is broken. What if you already have confided in some you thought you trusted and they end up telling other people, this deeply valuable secret? Well how can you ever expect to trust again? You have seen first hand what people are capable of. It is why I value writing so much, it is like this person I can go to. Express, with no gaps in between, myself. My secret are my own to share. People are capable of lying, of betraying trust, of showing no loyalty, as long as it moves them up the social ladder. Spreading gossip about ones thoughts as if it was currency to be traded. A blank page, is like an open ear and nothing else. So how can we trust eachother? What tangible idea binds trust? It is intangible, random, chaos. It can exist one day and feel like it was never there the next. 

In the deepest pits of insecurity, trust is no longer an option. Everyone is an enemy, everyone is out to get you, no one understands you, no one hears you. Isolated in your own bubble, drifting from friends and family. Unable to pick yourself back up and put yourself back together. Instead you lay shattered, never to be whole again. Until, you eventually see yourself to your grave, alone. With no one you really know attending your funeral. Just a crowd of faces, potential friendships and relationships, wasted. This inability to trust, is like a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain. It will build and build as it keeps rolling, you lose people. You disconnect further and further away until you are but a blip in that persons life. Someone who will be a forgotten face unless brought up in conversation. The snowball will eventually stop at the foot of the mountain, a big ball of self-hatred and continued negative spirals. It is here, you need to trust someone the most. For you have already given up, if you have no one you trust, there is no one to not give up for you. There will be no one to fight you against yourself. In a one on one you will always lose. No one understands you like you do, no one knows your ins and outs as much as you do. So it is here the insecurity will strike. It will use everything it has against you and without anyone to lean on as you trip and fall, you are defenseless. It will tell you the thoughts of other people, that don’t even exist. It will say, this outfit looks stupid. It will compare you with your peers, as your accomplishments don’t match up, so they must be the better person. It will feed you false positives from people you love, questioning their love to begin with. It will identify anyone as a threat and therefor you must close yourself off. For you cannot be hurt again, you cannot feel that grief again, so instead sit here and do nothing. People aren’t even interested in what you have to say anyway. Except this is far from the truth you believe it to be. Where there is capability to hate and betray, there is also capability for love and empathy.

People are naturally kind, forgiving. We are all alike so they will understand, if you give them a chance and regardless of one trusted relationship being betrayed, you cannot close yourself off from humanity. From the gifts it bears. Passion involves trust, for you must trust yourself to be passionate about something you love. Romance is trust, for you and your partner must be on the same page about the direction you want to take it. Security within yourself is trusting yourself that you will be ok, that everything will be fine no matter what happens, as long as you live. Trust is just another building block of life, it will get destroyed, it will get repaired with a new design and believe me, there are plenty of designs to choose from so don’t just let it sit in a pile of rubble, you are the designer afterall. Build your utopia of life, with those you trust. Remember the feeling of betrayal but don’t let it define each and every relationship after it has happened. Instead look at every relationship as a new book, with it’s own trials and tribulations, perhaps you will enjoy the next book more than the last. Take it slowly, rushing this aspect of life has a tendency to crash and burn. Insecurity is an abyss only those with help can get out of. It is why it wants you to be alone, don’t feed it more ammo, starve it completely. 

—--------------------------------------------------