#aceryder

 ~~

 Ashley did not like Horizon, she said as much during the video messages she sent back to the citadel, personal ones addressed to Kaidan alone.

 He would have answered except he was supposed to be on radio silence for his mission. Not even Anderson knew where he was. After his council assignment he’d been asked by the Asari councilwoman to look into the black market on the Citadel. It meant a lot of undercover work and while he still could loop back to his apartment now and then to grab Ashley’s video messages he was helpless to respond back. Something that had begun to frustrate her in the latest one.

 “Where the hell are you LT?” Ashley demanded, “Anderson won’t tell me anything, Udina just blows me off and I even tried some of my other military contacts. No one’s seen you.” Ashley ran her fingers through her hair, curling them in frustration and Kaidan wished he could assure her it was fine. “There’s been reports. Of Shepard, that she’s back.” Ashley looked even more agitated, “With Cerberus.”

 Kaidan hadn’t been reading a lot of the current news lately and swore fiercely at that. What the hell was Shepard thinking? Or was this some kind of undercover assignment the same as what Kaidan had been sent on?

 “I hate this.” Ashley continued in her message, voicing both of their thoughts, “I just… I keep remembering those old Cerberus bases and the bodies.” She shuddered minutely, “How could Shepard do this?” She took a deep breath and looked right into the camera, “Kaidan please answer me.” Ashley begged, “If you’ve got yourself into trouble…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “And you told me to be careful.” She chuckled to herself. “Just.” She paused again. “Just try.”

 If he was there with her Kaidan would have wrapped his arms around her and told her everything, including the lie that it would all right when really nothing felt like it.

 The best he could do was send a package of poetry books to Horizon under the name Skywalker. He hoped that Ashley would be able to tell it was him.

 ~~

 His mission didn’t end until almost a year later, well after Shepard had been incarcerated for her actions in the Batarian system.

 He arrived back at his apartment, ready to march straight back to earth, orders or no when he stopped and found Ashley there.

 She stared at him for one second before she held a gun to his face. “Tell me you’re Kaidan.”

 They lived harsh lives where Reapers could get to anyone and saying a few things wouldn’t really stop that fear but nonetheless Kaidan responded, “It’s me Ash, I’d offer to break out a tinfoil miniskirt to prove it but I think that’s more up your alley.” He caught her relieved smile and laugh before Ashley fell back on to his couch. “Dare I ask what you’re doing at my place?”

 “Trying to find you.” Ashley retorted. “I finally got enough word that you were on a mission but I was still gonna drag your ass back here. You’ve been gone long enough LT.”

 “Actually it’s Major. They just promoted me.”

 Ashley smiled in bemusement, “What a coincidence, they just promoted me to.”

 “So you’re the LT now.” Kaidan teased, crossing his arms. “Wow that’s gonna be weird. But congratulations Ash, you deserve it.”

 “I don’t feel like I do.” Ashley muttered and Kaidan took the seat on the couch next to her. “I couldn’t save half the people on Horizon.”

 “That’s not your fault.” Kaidan had read the reports, “No one expected the technology the Collectors had.”

 “Yeah.” Ashley agreed and leaned back to sink into the cushions. It took Kaidan a second to realize he was so relaxed himself not because he was back in his apartment but because it was Ashley that was here to make it home. She nudged his ankle with her foot. “What are you thinking? I lost you there for a second.”

 “Just about the future.” Kaidan deflected and Ashley narrowed her eyes at him. “Really.” He promised her, “I was just wondering how much longer I may even have this apartment the way we keep getting shipped out.”

 “Next stop Earth.” Ashley agreed with a tired sigh. “Guess nothing is really consistent. Shepard died and came back and we don’t even know if they came back right. The Normandy, our Normandy, is gone. The Reapers are practically on our doorstep. I feel like I’ve got nothing stable.”

 “You’ve got me.” Kaidan said and Ashley blinked in confusion before she looked him. “I mean, I know I was gone too but I’ll always try to be here Ash.” He felt embarrassed, like the words weren’t coming out right.

 Ashley smiled though, “I know Kaidan.” She rested her hand against his, leaning in closer to drop her forehead to rest against his shoulder and just breathing. “I’m glad you’re here.” Ashley said quietly before she pulled back. “Because I was about to kick your ass for not telling me anything.”

 Kaidan winced. “I did want to.” He pointed out. “But telling someone kind of takes away from the secret assignment.”

 Ashley punched him lightly on his shoulder which was still warm from her heat only moments ago. “No secrets between us.” She said. “We should at least have that.” That meant telling Ashley he had feelings for her however and Kaidan hesitated before Ashley met his eyes. “Kaidan it’s okay. I know.” It was like a weight of his back suddenly, like he could breathe easier. Ashley cupped his cheek with her hand and shook her head. “You’re really bad at hiding it.” She stated with a laugh.

 “I prefer honesty.” Kaidan leaned into her hand just a little, trying to remember every detail of that moment.

 “Like a bad old Canadian stereotype.” Ashley tsked, “Be glad I love the classics.”

 “Oh yeah?” Kaidan inched closer to her. “How much do you love them?”

 “Enough not to tell them they need to shower before they kiss me first.” Ashley said and in retaliation Kaidan did close the gap between them to kiss her.

 They broke the kiss with laughter as Ashley pushed him away. “I take it back, shower. You smell like all of Chora’s Den. But hey.” She smirked, “If you’re convincing enough maybe I’ll join you.”

 “Does promising dinner count as convincing enough?”

 “It’s a start.” Ashley shrugged and stood up, offering Kaidan her hand. “Come on, Major.”

 “Aye aye, LT.” Kaidan echoed, taking her hand.