#aceeptance

06.13.05

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I hope I look back on this post one day and see I made this promise: I promise to never disrespect my children or put my feelings in front of theirs I promise to be accepting of them and try my best to understand I promise if they came out to me as Trans or gay that I would not love them any less and respect their wishes And most importantly, I will make sure they feel accepted and loved enough to be who they truly are. No child should be hated by their parents. And no child should feel alone. This is my promise. And I hope a lot of people will promise the same.

While searching through some tags of my town and old school to see if anyone had posted photos of the snow, I stumbled across the blog of someone that I hadn't talked to since she nearly destroyed me over 2 years ago. And I'm not talking destroyed as in my reputation or my social life. I mean that she stripped me down mentally to the point where I didn't even know who I was anymore. She had reduced me to a bawling suicidal mass on my dorm room floor. As I looked at her dashboard, I remembered all of the awful things that she had said to me, and how awful she made me feel about every aspect of myself. But then I began to think about what I have become since that night. I have accepted myself as a lesbian woman and come out to many people in my life. I have become stronger and more confident in who I am as a woman. I have cleansed my life of people that were not healthy for me emotionally or physically or even both. I have begun to love who I am, and through that I have begun to accept love from others. I have fallen truly in love with a wonderful and beautiful woman that continues to help me strengthen my image of my own self worth as well as my self confidence. And really, now that I look back at the events that led to my mental breakdown that night oh so long ago, and I realize how that peeling away of all the fake layers of my own self image has led to me being able to form a whole new concept of who I am as a person. So, as I was staring at that face that for so long I hated with all of my being, I clicked on the ask box section of her blog and entered what I knew was the right thing to say to her after all these years. And it took me a few seconds of staring at the screen before I finally pressed the send button and sent out those three words that would finally set me free.

My new video about being genderqueer and the acceptance of loved ones.