#alan walker

😢

And who also has the Moon in a Fixed star sign.

The whole rest of the Birth Chart. Exactly the same.

And since he was born on the 31st, his day crossed with Alan's entire numerology, is also a 4, like him!

This guy was also born just one day before Jungkook from BTS.

THIS, I know has been a few years, but I never really cared about it, because BTS was never my favourite.

But this, about Alan, it only clocked in, right now.

This guy was really something. 🥲

It was in the last half of 2021, exactly 5 years ago.

I was hospitalized in a mental health hospital, together with him and other people. They didn't allow smartphones.

It was for a whole month, throughout the entire month of October. Then I was discharged from the hospital.

It was 3 of us, me, and this other girl that he had met first, and him, when we met.

He was tall, had a lean body, with pretty hands, pretty long fingernails, long straight brown hair.

He seemed smart, both logically and emotionally, interesting, pretty, attractive, polite, since the first time I saw him.

It wasn't about what I think. Everyone thought the same. The girl who he met first, is a lesbian, natural blond hair, green eyes, pretty face, many people were into her, and even her thought he was interesting and attractive. After a while, he was discharged from the hospital before me and her, and she said to me that she really missed him. And wished he was there with us.

But when we 3 met.

Everyone was talking about their sexuality and romantic preferences.

He told me "I like older girls".

And I said "I'm asexual, and aromantic". 🫤

But just then, the motherfucker just looked at me differently, isn't it. 🫤

But I know it wasn't even slightly mainly that. He just didn't like me enough. I was never interesting.

(Now I know that I'm probably still asexual, but at least biromantic, I think).

After that, he was always avoiding me. He would spend all his time in his bedroom, while we all were in the garden playing cards. There has NEVER BEEN A SINGLE CHANCE for me to know him better.

He would leave the bedroom really rarely to interact with us. There never was any impression that he had any problem of interacting with me, not even a little, he just prefered not to interact with me very much.

One of these times, there was a group of people, and he was not that close to me, but maybe a bit, he used the length of one of his fingernails as an excuse to flip his middle finger to me.

He said: "Look at the length of this fingernail!"

And then almost shoved his closed hand, with only his middle finger up, right into my face. 🫤

RUDE.

And something else. That I also just remembered.

After he started avoiding me. A few days later, according to him, he started having a huge crush on this other older girl.

Almost everytime he was out of the bedroom, he was around her, talking to her. For hours. It was like that, for almost a month.

And you guys are not gonna believe the stupid name of this girl.

Vivi.

From Viviene.

I FUCKING SWEAR.

Only her star sign was also Virgo, like his, and not cancer.

Sometimes they do it by Name, sometimes they do it by Astrology, sometimes they do it by Numerology.

Moving on.

I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER ALAN when this guy told me his birthday.

Because I ask everybody's birthday.

It only clocked in to me, right now. Like, close to 5 years later.

Also, what a stupid ass "coincidence", isn't it. That with all those years and months which are there, that either me or this guy, could have been hospitalized on the exact year and month, at the exact same time. Give it or take a few days.

Also. Something else I just remembered. It was around the pandemic. But we were all enclosed and no one gave a shit.

He would be the only person who would wear a mask. Every. Single. Day. The entire day. I don't even remember his face that much. 🥲

Should've realized, isn't it. 🫤

Like, it's obvious that I always liked and admired both of them A LOT, since the beginning, but regardless of whatever I thought or felt, I would NEVER intentionally put, time, effort, or my mind, or anything enough on them.

I don't understand. I would just enjoy Alan's songs casually. Wouldn't stalk him or anything.

I think I even only learned about Alan's girlfriend in late 2022. I don't remember. Maybe? Something about that, I think. More than 4 years after they started a relationship.

Almost seems that, for whatever reason, they seemed to really want to push me towards him. 🤣

But anyway. This post was to have a conclusion, but doesn't.

This whole post objective and main subject was about me taking the loss as how this guy REALLY DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING to do with me. 😭

Not only him, isn't it. 🫤

He really, but really, avoided me. 😭

But now that I just remembered the name of the girl he had a crush for almost a whole month, and was around her everytime he could.

I don't even know what I think of this, like, WTF?!?

Are common people's lives, controled because of celebrities?!?

But also, the other way around?!? Celebrities controled because of normal people?!?

Creator Circle (in animal version) from World of Walkers site. Inspired of a Tron, Alan Walker music and something about Synthwave aesthetic.