#ace writer problems

Other writers: "He held his pulsating ****, inching forward to **** his partner's **** like the **** panting **** was begging for."

Me: "Hmm, maybe I'll throw in the eff word in there to make this sound gritty and real."

Other writers: "Get your ***ing **** out of the g*****n way, you *****ing piece of hanging *****! I will **** your **** ****!"

there's all those traits about yourself that you were always taught to believe were flaws, and often wished away so you could be like everyone else, and then a) making the actual choice to write those traits into a character and b) not treating them as flaws

It's so much easier to see and cheer for an ace character created by someone else, and draw power from that, but there's something so deeply personal about OCs that sometimes it takes a level of self-acceptance we struggle to have in the first place to do the same

for all the cheering for ace characters do I still struggle a lot with b).  I make a character that is like me in the ways that I was the most embarrassed of and have to resist the urge to deride her the way I used to deride myself, or feel like I have to balance out those "negatives" with ways to make her more "likeable," etc.