#accursedhallowstask

Dear Diary, 

     Being back alive is very strange. I feel just out of step with everyone. I don’t understand most of the references people say. The Amazons didn’t really care much about making sure we knew about anything like that. But I have met some nice people at least. Derek is very nice to me and has a very nice face and so are Caroline and Lexi. Dad and Uncle Sam are both here too. Though neither of them trust me. Or really seem to want anything to do with me. Not that I really blame them. I screwed up that day. I know I did. I just hope that one day they won’t hate me. I’m not sure it’s realistic to hope they’ll accept me into their family. But I hope that they don’t hate me forever. At least their friend Castiel doesn’t seem to hate me yet. Though I’m sure that will change once Dad tells him about me. Maybe if I tell him first he won’t hate me. It’s better not to hold out hope, though. He is part of Dad’s family so I’m sure he’ll stick with him and Uncle Sam. 

    I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to do here in this town. I don’t really have any skills other than what the Amazons taught me. And I’m not about to use those. It’s actually quite frustrating. I don’t really know how to fit in with everyone else. Which ends up making me feel more sad than anything else. I wanted friends and a family before this. And now I just want to curl up. And sometimes cry. Actually quite a bit. But I don’t like to tell anyone that. The Amazons said that makes you weak. And I’m sure that Dad thinks the same thing. He’s a warrior, after all right? Warriors don’t cry. Not that I’m much of an Amazon. Not much of a Winchester either, I guess. I’m not strong like them. So where does that leave me?