Gender, Queerness, and the Suffering Male
âProvider is now the bar at which my lover will be judgedâ â Reddit Comment
Music is an instrument in itself â It can be used to entertain, ask burning questions, or play with conventions. Sleep Token is a band that manages to tick all those boxes. Despite the bandâs slow initial start due to COVID, it managed to rise to fame and fill arenas in less than a decade, all while remaining anonymous (1).
As a beloved listener myself, the latest album, Even in Arcadia, struck some thoughts regarding the bandâs involvement in ideas of queerness and gender, and I want to explore these ideas by using some of the albumâs tracks, namely Dangerous and Provider.
Before I do that, I want to clarify that this is my interpretation of the bandâs public portrayal and their songs. During my analysis, I will consider some aspects of the bandâs lore but try to keep a more general perspective on how the songs resonate with me â and probably other listeners.Â
How the Band Plays with Notions of Gender and Masculinity
Vessel, the bandâs lead singer, presents himself on stage completely painted black, with a mask that conceals most of his face, and (until now) a black cloak. His black trousers are oversized and flow with each movement (of which there are many). Many rings adorn his fingers, and dangling from his neck are a variety of necklaces.Â
The singer exposes his black painted neck, chest, and stomach, as well as his lower arms and hands. From this stance alone, he can be read as a male: He is tall, his abs are toned, and his chest is (appropriately) flat (for a male). His voice, sometimes deep, sometimes high, also allows for assigning a male identity to this figure.Â
This alone grants a very stereotypical reading of gender in terms of men: His tall frame, the muscles protruding from under his skin, and the almost arrogant display of his physique. He is obviously a man who takes up space and proudly so. Additionally, the lights during live performances highlight his presence, and despite his greatest efforts to hop his way out of the spotlight â it follows him.Â
But there is also something that does not fit the stereotypical idea of masculinity: vulnerability. Vessel does so not only by exposing his front torso, but also through his music. He screams, he yearns, he cries â openly, in front of huge audiences.Â
Generally, showing emotions is considered an act of weakness. Emotions are often connected to illogical behavior, to act out of it: to act female. Femininity is also tied to caring (the mother), to hysteria (the crazy ex-girlfriend), to being the weaker sex.
Vessel plays with these notions effortlessly, combining notions of the male-read body with female-read traits. But we see a catch here: He hides behind a mask. The true exposure to the audience, to his emotions, happens while he conceals himself. This juxtaposition of binary gender notions through physical display is interesting to look at, and it raises even more questions concerning our current understanding of gender/masculinity.Â
Very often, men wear masks in everyday life by concealing their true emotions, often resulting in violent acts or an exertion of overt (toxic) masculinity.Â
These lyrics beautifully emphasize this internalized cognitive dissonance, where Vessel expresses his self-hatred, his need for acceptance/love, and often the inability to move on.
Queerness: From The Other to Kissing Men on Stage
Despite being read as a male from his physique alone, Vessel also displays a queer notion of gender and masculinity. He conceals himself, he paints himself black, and he creates an image people can identify with while simultaneously acknowledging his Otherness.Â
Some people might feel appalled by his decision to âdress up,â to hide his true identity, and therefore, it creates a barrier between him and the audience. At the same time, he is obviously human. His decision not to conform to societal standards and wear a mask (2) is queer in itself: Even if he would not stand out for his musical talent, he still draws attention to himself because of his costume.Â
Additionally, in former performances, the members of Sleep Token (all male despite the Esperas, the background singers) exchanged hugs, kisses, or even an occasional straddling. This deconstructs another dimension of (toxic) masculinity, namely the fear of being intimate with another man. Now, I am not aware if these actions truly stem from a homosexual nature or if they are just utilized to appeal to a certain idea (3), but there is an undeniable effect on a specific demographic, namely, homophobes. Being appalled by one's decision to dress up is one thing, but openly displaying heterosexual âactsâ might truly be considered outrageous to some (mostly men).Â
Therefore, the band chooses to disregard multiple ideas of (hetero)normativity by challenging the notions of gender and masculinity.Â
Now the Actual Analysis: The Suffering, Providing Man
As mentioned in the beginning, this section deals with two songs from the latest album. I have listened to the bandâs discography many, many times, and I am aware that other songs deal with similar (or almost exactly the same) topics. I am merely using these songs because they gave me the idea for this analysis (and because they are [excuse my language] fucking great). The observations made before will be taken into consideration as well and have therefore been briefly discussed beforehand.Â
Because Dangerous appears first in the albumâs chronological order, it will be analyzed first and compared with similar themes in Provider.Â
Now, considering everything that has been mentioned about the singerâs appearance and how it relates to masculinity, one might think the title Dangerous refers to him as being the male danger: A predator, ready to pounce on the vulnerable prey. Looking at the lyrics proves us wrong, because itâs not âI am dangerousâ but âItâs like youâre dangerous to me/I notice every time we meet/The ground beneath my feet giving way.â Oh, and how he suffers from it! He loses sleep, he cannot control himself, and wants to âblur the lines just one last timeâ because he cannot recall the last time he felt such âdark desire and tainted bliss.âÂ
Right from the start, we understand that Vessel is not the danger but that someone else threatens him because he is incapable of resisting this pull. He is vulnerable; he tries to fight it, but they have âawakened whatâs beneath again,â and therefore any resistance is in vain.Â
Right away, he shows a form of masculinity that is contrary to binary gender notions: The man as the controlling power and the woman as the submissive object of desire. Here, it is the other way around since he finds himself within somebody elseâs grip, and he battles, but ultimately gives in to his desires, to the otherâs influence.Â
The title âProviderâ already evokes imagery tied to masculinity: The man is the one who provides. And Vessel instantly affirms this notion by singing âI wanna be a provider.â He further paints the picture by providing lyrics that hint at possessiveness, domination, and sexuality: âYour guiding hand, your final decider/That bit of fuel to your fire, stoke your desire/Just let me know that youâre mine.â He further emphasizes these stereotypical male/female roles by implying to spoil his lover (âGarner you in silk like a spiderâ), and his relentless attempt to win them over (âAnd youâre the only game Iâd like to loseâ). This already links the term provider to predator: He has been interested before, and he set his mind to this cat-and-mouse game that is ultimately going to result in trapping the love interest â like a spiderâs web. Vessel also plays with suggestive imagery by saying his love interest has a âbad bodyâ or calling them a âgood girl,â as well as stating that he wants to âdo more than just bend the rules.âÂ
Despite the initial impression that he is the main initiator of this, he also reveals that both parties feel attracted to each other: â'Cause you been hittin' my phone so hard/I found it breathinâ through a tube in the ICUâ and âExchanging the years in silence/With something unsaid on both ends.â Therefore, despite him being the one taking action, (âThe last time we were around/Each other/I found myself hesitating/But I know I will not nowâ) it is also clear that he is not acting as a predator cornering his prey and ultimately taking what he wants, but what both of them wanted for some time now (4). Also, by stating that he could have acted before but hesitated, he also admits to vulnerability, to insecurity. Since he got the impression that his lover is also interested by texting him so much his phone needed to go to the hospital, he finds the courage to act and become the initiator â promising to provide (duh) whatever his lover wants and getting it âso right.âÂ
The bandâs lore has somewhat agreed on Vessel and Sleep (Him) being in a toxic on-and-off relationship. It is also stated that Vessel only serves as a mouthpiece (5) and only spreads His message without being related to it at all. However, in both cases, Vessel represents a male figure who is yearning, someone who puts his emotions into words and acts on them. He does not, at least in these instances, merely observe and report his misery, but he acknowledges his feelings and is not afraid to confess his needs. He does not simply take what he wants (like a real alpha-male would), but he makes sure that the interest is mutual, that his vulnerability is not ultimately met with disappointment or even rejection (6). And he makes sure to emphasize that he is going to take good care of his lover â a sign of empathy.
Even though both songs present an undertone of predatory behavior, he does not act predatory and represents a healthy form of masculinity that is not scared to admit what is mostly considered weaknesses, or strictly tied to females: Mistakes, negative emotions, and not being in control.Â
Tying the Knot: Final Thoughts and the âMale Loneliness Epidemicâ
As I have analyzed, Sleep Tokenâs Vessel portrays a notion of masculinity free from toxic ideas of having to present themselves as the tower of strength and instead owning oneâs vulnerability and emotions. Either as the speaker of Sleep or as himself, Vessel wraps his audience around his slender finger with promises of care, loyalty, and maybe even some freaky (excuse my language) shit (7).Â
Tying everything together nicely, let us return to the comment mentioned at the beginning of this text, found on Reddit that says: âProvider is now the bar at which my lover will be judged,â and linking it to the Male Loneliness Epidemic we hear so much about lately.
Now, I want to preface this by stating that dating surely is not easy for men. However, considering alpha-males such as Andrew Tate and the toxic, outdated ideologies they spread while having considerable influence, especially on young audiences, I want men who truly feel lonely to reflect. Many people appreciate open communication and showing emotions â especially women. You do not have to paint yourself black and cry into a microphone to attract somebodyâs attention, but some traits common with Vessel might help, such as: Consensus, empathy, and acknowledging feelings as valid. Garnering them in silk might also work. But please do not take/feed any blood without permission.Â
__ (1) Ignoring the fact that the bandâs identities were leaked, and instead focusing on the fanbaseâs dedication to upkeep the bandâs anonymity. (2) Yes, other bands have done it as well and continue to do so, such as Slipknot or Ghost. But contrary to Sleep Token, the masks add to the bandâs performances â the latter uses them (of course, also as an artistic expression) to keep their identities hidden. (3) Some fans go absolutely nuts for some gay men action. (4) Also called âconsent,â guys. Take notes. (5) This reminds me of Sauronâs mouth. (6) He talks about heartbreak plenty in other songs â this is about the mentioned titles only! (7) âWhenâs the last time you tasted bloodâ (Dangerous); I sincerely hope Vessel also cannot tell when his last time was, otherwise we might seriously have to consider him a vampire.
















