Jocelyn was standing on the knife edge between being alert and once again fading away.  The pain was intense, more then she had ever felt in her life.  As her face swelled, the dark black wax pulled at the burns on her skin and only made it worse.  She dared not open her eyes, for fear of what she would see.  Clenching her fists repeatedly, thoughts whip-cracking through her mind, she couldn’t focus on any one idea or thought.  Emotions, shifting and moving and changing.  Some thoughts came and went so fast, she couldn’t grasp them.  Others, lingered only long enough for her to realize them before her ravaged mind moved on to the next one.  She could hear someone breathing in the room, but knew it wasn’t Valucia.  It sounded deeper and heavier then her, she couldn’t place it.  This disturbed her, almost as much as the incredible pain that wouldn’t give her even a moments respite.  The scene replayed itself so many times, though she tried to force it from her mind.  That thick black wax, bubbling in the cauldron.  Knowing what was coming and actually dealing with the fact that it did are two very different things.

     As tough as she thought she was, she hadn’t been prepared for it at all.  Desmond’s betrayal of her wouldn’t be forgiven anytime soon.  Yes, she had left and if she had her way no one would have known it until they returned.  Valucia had to be taken from there, had to have time to process not only what had been done to her, but what she had done since her time began with the collective.  All her plans were failed now, and she saw no way to correct them.  She cried, the salt in her tears only adding to the already overwhelming pain as they wet the blistering and swollen flesh of her face.  She wanted to scream, but feared what new hellish threshold of pain that would cause.  So she simmered, feeling like a dutch oven had been placed over her face.  The wax, frozen in place only seemed to contain the heat that had built up as blood constantly flushed to her skin in vain attempts to provide healing to horribly scarred flesh.  Worse then the pain, and worse then the betrayal was the worry and concern for Valucia.  She was strong, there was no denying that, but was Valucia strong enough to leave Jo in the hellish misery that had become her existence?  She hoped so, she didn’t want her love to suffer what had happened to her.  As Jo focused herself, as she brutally directed her thoughts, the pain seemed to subside a bit.....or was she dreaming again?  She didn’t care, she needed the break and accepted it with aplomb. 

“You need only survive this Jocelyn, revenge will be yours in the end.  Besides, we will take care of you.  We will make sure you live Jocelyn.  In fact, we give you no choice in the matter.  But we aren’t completely heartless, you will be stronger for it, as we teach you what you must know to ascend.  Do not give up Jocelyn, we wait in the shadows for you, always.”

Jocelyn knew the source of the respite now, knew the shadows and what lingered behind them had done for her what her body could not.  They, or it, or whatever....eased her mind enough to let her rest again.

“I will survive, and in time I will seek my revenge.  It may take years, or perhaps tomorrow.  Eventually the opportunity will present itself.  I only hope you are prepared.”