Jezebelic Men & Ahab type Women

Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim". They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic they have learned. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness.

Still other people who abuse end up abusing because they have an empathy deficit, either because of some sort of brain damage, or because they were so abused themselves as children that their innate empathic abilities never developed properly. Such abusers cannot or will not relate to other people as people, choosing instead to treat them as objects. In effect, they confuse people for things. They treat people as though they were there solely for their convenience and do not otherwise have an independent, important life. Abusers who treat people in this manner are very likely psychologically ill, and possibly medically ill as well. They may have an antisocial (sociopathic, psychopathic) or narcissistic personality disorder, and they may have anger or impulse control issues and substance abuse issues on top of that! Such people may abuse because of the benefits they receive from doing so, for instance, sexual or financial gratification, or the simple allure of power over other people's lives. Think of any dictator that springs to mind and you will have the personification of this type of individual (Saddam Hussain seems to fit well and comes to mind easily).

One batterer who has now gone through treatment, says "the beatings, the verbal abuse and the intimidation were all about control. It was like having a new toy," he said. "I had the buttons and I could make her do whatever I wanted. I was trying to intimidate her. I wanted to control her for the simple reason that I knew I could do it. It made me feel powerful."

Wife beaters also get low marks for agreeableness. Less agreeable equates with less forgiving, peaceable and tolerant, while more stubborn, demanding, argumentative, unstable, suspicious, and aggressive. In short, they are more likely to lash out when provoked.

abusers are more anxious, nervous, irritable, excitable, moody, defensive, self-centered, and hasty. And they are less confident, optimistic, content, and clear-thinking. "Simply by this characterization, you would expect these men to have more outbursts,"

"Batterers tend to commit more crimes and have lower levels of education and IQs," Ou said. "They tend to be more neurotic, less agreeable, less extroverted, open, and conscientious than the average American man. They are more authoritarian."