#absurdlove

Is it the lack of informative discussion that may lead one to slight (if not full) misinterpretation of something? We are born and raised with certain expectations of what MANY MANY THINGS should be in our lives.

What a “WOMAN” should be What a “MAN” does What “MARRIAGE” consists of. What a “SUCCESSFUL CAREER” is

It is all passed down from one to another to the next to the next and ON.   The unspoken rules of engagement, the roles that we observe in society, in our parents, in the world and we silently apply it, whether in mimic, moderation or full contrast.

We were so young Babies. In love? Sure. Whatever that means.

Love is funny it’s all consuming nature without (truly) a common / mutual understanding of its effects, mystery, tones, power and the like.

We use LOVE when describing spouses, parents, siblings, friends, ice cream and each one carries a different tonal characteristic, and in discussion is expected to be mutually understood as such.

Mostly, at least from my view, in the world I have observed, the culturalist pursuit of binding one’s self to another through words spoken at an altar creates the illusion of security, safety, and (in some cases) eternity.

Dare I say DANGEROUSLY so?

The path that we walk back and forth on, often time daily, becomes engraved, then eventually a gulley from which we can barely see the sun, the stars, it all becomes covered by the walls that through our own doing are holding us in a bind of thought, action and expression.

Fear starts to nibble at our heavily callused feet, fear of change, fear of newness, of THE REAL, but isn’t the FANTASTICAL just FANTASTICK?

I still remember the moment I was informed that Santa Claus was all in my mind.

I still remember the first betrayal of my lover, as a young boy.

I still remember seeing cracks in my parents’ behaviors toward one another, after believing them to be (in all truth) the perfect EXAMPLES of what marriage, love, dedication was (GODS).

I still remember my first of many questions in my ABSOLUTION OF GOD, that was handed to me at birth, that eventually lead me to honest questioning and observations, when I before I had never had such tools to do so, ALL ANSWERS handed to me like a buffet of truth, without ever having to pick up a garden tool, it was A FREE SHOW, but NOBODY gets a free show, now do they?

I’m not entirely sure where I am heading with this ramble. I just know I am feeling it all quite heavily in the current moments. The weekend was filled with adventure, searching, discussion, honestly crushing honesty. We might think we want honesty. But then its either given or discovered, and then what? Then what do you do when it doesn’t line up with what you believed it to be? What you wanted it to be? What you “KNEW” it was.

Do you fight it? Do you swallow it?  Hide it? Face it? Can’t know till ya know it I suppose.

Funny, giving advice to ANYONE about THEIR situation, about THEIR life.

ONLY one who knows is HE/SHE/THEY that are in it. ONLY. I think I might have to come back to this. It’s much. So, let’s dub it part ONE.