#absolutely raw

i would shiver the whole night through...

I hate how I lost a loved one this year I hate how everything went out of control from there I hate how I was left behind and forgotten I hated the lack of support I received from my friends at a time of need I hated the lack of sympathy and understanding I hated the isolation I hated the idea of being left out I hated how my friends put no effort into my birthday I hated how my family put no effort in mine as well I hated how they just gave me money and expected me to be happy with that but really it was just a way of saying I really don't care lol I hated how I put so much effort into everyone and not even get 10% back I hated how due to the recent death my birthday wasn't expressed to the maximum possibility I hates how my parents treated my birthday as if It was a normal day and left me alone during the day thinking it would be okay but it really hurt. Although this may come across as jealousy. It is. It's raw. I hate how my family combined and gave me money when for my sister they went on all four legs and did everything for her. Again lack of effort. I hated this year I absolutely dreaded it. Forced a smile and pretended that everything was fine and that I'm happy. To be honest, I'm everything but happy. The only sense of satisfaction and relief I receive is from the tears I shed. They solve everything.