#absib

awakebutstillinbed @ New Friends Fest '24 (Toronto, ON) - August 3rd, 2024

Shanon Taylor started awakebutstillinbed as a solo project in January 2018. Growing up, Taylor tried to teach herself how to sing but her dad and brothers would make fun of her, which caused her to internalize that you were either good or not. However, she never received criticism when she would play the guitar. Additionally, when she released her album What people call low self-esteem is really just seeing yourself the way that other people see you, people were saying they hated her vocals but were waiting for her screams. The song, Fathers, has the lyrics "I felt locked in a stigma beyond my control, and in my vulnerability I am fed their words and I swallow them whole" and "I try to reconstruct myself to fit into this life. You might want to be someone else but what good would that do you if all this weight falls on your shoulders?" The lyrics talk about stigmatization and instead of standing up against it, they accept it, but in the end, won't do them any good.

The album has been in production for years, “absorbing every demoralizing condescension and missed opportunity from her early days as an alt-grunge teen." What is really impressive is that Taylor produced everything herself. She did consider reaching out to labels, but decided against it and released the album herself. Awakebutstillinbed's first album was a successful hit and is still active to this day!

i want to be who i used to be

i want life with intimacy, but it was taken from me