#about.gideon

but what Gideon does care about is individuals. he is very person-oriented, to the point of pure stubbornness.

learning Joshua Graham’s story made him care about this strange mummified cult leader, so he did everything he could to help the man out, even when some of the things were questionable -- and along the way, Joshua himself started to realise the questionability of his actions. a set of fractured tribes spurred to warmongering by an ex-legate would have been perfect Legion fodder, but Gideon was stubborn enough to prevent that from happening. that wasn’t his intention to start with, but that’s what happened.

Ulysses is an even better example, because Gideon has no idea what this husky-voiced stranger is rambling about, but obviously Gideon had done something to hurt him, so he supposed he ought to at least find out what it was and try to make amends. he’s stubborn enough to walk the length of the Divide to figure out what the fuck he did, and listen to every holotape and ED-E-transmitted message along the way, and Ulysses feels strangely listened to for once, and is willing to entertain that maybe... it wasn’t exactly Gideon he should be angry at. maybe he was being goaded by the real antagonist here, and maybe that antagonist had seen a way to wreak havoc and get rid of a pesky wild-card mailman in one fell swoop, and maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if Ulysses accepted Gideon’s offering of kinship instead (spoiler: it didn’t hurt at all except for that strange fiery ache that love creates in a heart that’s forgotten it. he has never made a better decision in his life)

these are little things in the grand scheme, but the grand scheme isn’t Gideon’s concern. these people are Gideon’s concern, because these people deserve to be cared about, because no one else has bothered (or doesn’t know what to do). these people are Gideon’s concern because he too is a person who just wants to be listened to and believed and understood. he is a lonely wanderer who wants to not be a lonely wanderer, and the best thing for that is to give the fiercest version of one’s love to other lonely souls

Joshua:

(Gideon never tells Boone that he’s older than him, because it’s hilarious the way it is. Boone just figures it out later and is like “.......... oh.”)

and then the whole time they’re travelling together Gideon is pulling every trick in the book trying to get Boone to like him because if he can get Boone to like him maybe he can get a pity fuck at the least, and Boone knows what’s going on but something about it stops being irritating and starts being kind of funny, and then just kinda... How Things Are. a point of personal normalcy in an uncaring universe

Boone: “I already told you no, so stop staring at me like that.”

through a couple of particular times when Gideon does or says something and Boone laughs shortly and then explains, “reminded me of Manny for a second”

through the times Gideon replies “hopefully not too much” and Boone says, “yeah, not too much” and they know what each other means

when Gideon’s work starts to get too Strip-centered Boone fades into the background for a while, because the Strip makes him ill and he misses the quiet, and they have more time to think honestly about each other without the weight of each other’s presence making it feel awkward

Gideon comes to find him before he takes up with the Happy Trails Caravan Company (which leads to a bunch of events that change his life in several ways) and greets him with “is that a gun in your pants et cetera heh you know the rest, what’s up Boone” and Boone actually grins, like with his whole face

(that kind of expression really transforms a man’s face, did you know that? Gideon didn’t)

he says it all the time, “the Mojave giveth and the Mojave taketh away”, and he means it to sound tongue-in-cheek when he says it but he believes it with his whole heart, because what hasn’t the Mojave given and then taken from him

he keeps ending up back in this arid wasteland and every time there’s more nothing, more vastness in the wasteland, more vastness in him -- and everyone he meets is just as vast and bleak and empty, it seems, just hanging on for the sheer sake of it (even dying is boring)

he keeps trying to love them. Boone is a lost cause, Arcade doesn’t understand him. "Big Empty” is a name he can relate to, but it seems even sadder that his kinship is with a bunch of somewhat-intelligent household products and a machine-housed brain that can only communicate through radio signals. so many broken people in the desert. the gold he tries to fill them with is weak and never solidifies. Joshua loves him, but Joshua is tired and Gideon can’t bear to deny him his long-overdue walk with Death. Ulysses admits he could love him, but Ulysses is a raw and open wound and is convinced he must remain so.

Gideon gets part of what he wants in Zion, but he is still alone.

he thinks about joining Joshua.

but then he looks towards the rising sun one morning and sees a head full of dark locs, just like his own, and a flagstaff, and a duster. and he is so, so glad to still be here, to be where Ulysses could find him, to be home for Ulysses, who wants home just as desperately as Gideon does.