#about:remus

Dear Remus,( @lcnewolfs )

I’m not actually planning on giving you this letter but I read in a magazine that writing letters can be therapeutic - not that I need therapy, but if I’m being completely honest with myself, it’s been a very frustrating few months. You’re a frustrating bloke, I hope you know that. 

I remember meeting you for the first time, thinking you were such a skinny little thing. I mean, we all were. Small, naive, excited about everything. Excited about each other. I remember thinking you were so quiet, though, and it was so new to me. Silence used to make me so uncomfortable. Always meant that I’d done something wrong and mum was just around the corner about to yell at me, or that I was locked up in my room again or that nobody was home. But you. You were so quiet and you had your nose stuck in all those books all the time and I’d watch you and you felt like home. You still do. 

Then of course, there was James always bouncing off the walls and shouting all the time. 

I’m not sure when I started seeing you differently. Maybe it was when we got back to Hogwarts for Year Five and you came back looking less like a librarian and more like a tan, hot football player. Yeah. Or that incident at the after-party? My god, we were drunk and it was sloppy but I still think about it all the time. 

I don’t want to keep hiding anything from you. It seems like you keep getting hurt and in the end, it’s my fault. I wasn’t there for you for that full moon. I wasn’t there for you when you got hit with the nightmare serum. Merlin, that was definitely my fault and I want to tell you the truth but I’m afraid you’ll leave me. It’s selfish, but I’ve already gotten too used to waking up to your face. It’s all very weird, seeing you there all the time. I can’t complain, but half the time, I don’t know what you’re thinking. Well, I don’t know. You did make it fairly clear that you don’t really...want to be with me, at least not like that, and sometimes I think I’d be okay if we just kept it casual. Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone else you’re thinking about and that’s why you keep telling me to forget about it all. Oh, well. 

I’m just glad you’re around, that’s all. I’ll get over it soon enough. It’s what the letter’s for, anyway. 

Don’t worry about it, lovely! <3

What they define their relationship with your muse as:

Alice wouldn’t say she and Remus are close friends, but they’re friends all the same. Any time the two are together, it’s generally because they’ve taken to studying together, or because they’ve ended up sitting beside each other at breakfast or dinner. 

Something they like about your muse:

She considers Remus a secret weapon. He’s respectful and studious enough to get away with murder with the Professors, but clever and mischievous enough to be in with the three other Marauders. It’s something she can’t help but admire.

Send me a ❖ for my character’s personal thoughts about yours:

Send me a ❖ for my character’s personal thoughts about yours

“My life would have been different, and so much worse if I never met Remus Lupin during my first year at Hogwarts. He’s so smart. When I first talked to him properly, I think he was reading something and he just looked up at me with these big, curious eyes and I knew that this was someone I wanted in my life until the end of my days. I don’t understand half the things he says when he’s telling me about a new book he’s read but it doesn’t even matter because I could honestly listen to him ramble all day and night. And if I’m being honest, I suppose I’ve always been a little smitten with him. I just - I just wish that he wanted me, too.” 

Send me a ♧ for my character’s reaction if your character were to express romantic interest in my character

His heart is beating wildly even before Remus finishes talking. “Oh,” Sirius blinks, cheeks flushed, and it takes him a full thirty seconds to even say anything else before he breaks into the widest grin. “Really?” He asks, like he can’t really believe it, because oh, he’s been dreaming about it for so long, now. “Me, too. Oh, god. Me, too.” There’s no hesitation anymore as he reaches out to take Remus’ hands in both of his hands, pressing lips against lips. 

Send me a ⊗ for my thoughts OOC on your character

Their relationship had been built on lies, and Sirius shouldn’t have been surprised that it all crashed down on them as soon as they began to learn the truths of each others’ lives. The glasses thrown against the walls, pictures torn, screaming matches and endless how could you’s tossed at one another, until he went out the door and never came back.

It was a risk he had been so willing to take in the beginning - Janus was supposed to fix the world, but Sirius never quite understood how he let himself become that delusional to sacrifice the one good thing he had in his life for nothing in comparison. And he might have accepted it as an inevitable consequence of his actions if he never found out that Remus had been lying to him all along. The wolves, and Sirius should have known about them. How Remus kept disappearing in the middle of the night, only to wave his hand at him and tell him it was nothing to worry about. At one point, he even thought Remus was seeing someone else and god, it was pathetic how he would have been willing to look over even that. Something was lost between them. Trust, maybe, he thought. But he never stopped loving him.

Five years was ample time to forget about someone like Remus Lupin, Sirius once had (incorrectly) thought, but as he stood across from the familiar sand-colored hair and those haunting eyes, he began to wonder if the last five years had been for nothing. And he’d tried so fucking hard, made sure to busy himself every single day to dull that painful ache in his heart and here Remus was, tearing all of his efforts down with a single glance.

“You’re - ”

He’d tried so hard. He’d moved on, found someone else to love, and he wished he could turn back time even just by twenty seconds so he could have taken a different street. The ring on his finger had never felt heavier.

“ - engaged, yeah.” Remus always did hate how Sirius finished his sentences for him. He never gave Remus enough space, thinking about on it now, and Sirius wanted to go back and fix it all. Because he would have held on tighter. “I’m sorry.”  For what?

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[unsent] do you maybe want to sneak out tonight and get dinner somewhere? i mean it’s not like there’s going to be anything good in the hall, right?? if they serve apple pie one more time i might actually start crying hahahah um dinner? as friends, obviously? this is stupid and i need to get to class ugh god nvm just remembered youre probably going to be with that girl or whatever i dont care. GIT

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[10:25] i hate everything about weddings [10:26] how am i so drunk already??[10:26] and where’d you go? why do you always disappear like a ghost[10:28] did you cry when she walked down the aisle though i swear to god i thought i saw you crying [10:28] no shame in crying

[10:40] do you think moody’s wearing anything under that kilt?[10:41] ill give you 10 galleons to go find out 

[11:05] everyone’s dancing and you’re missing it [11:06] god everyone’s so bad at waltzing how can you be bad at waltzing it’s literally one two three one two three [11:06] i can teach you how to waltz SO WHERE ARE YOU?!

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[12:09] are you asleep? [12:09] doesnt matter. just wanted to thank you for being there for me. it still feels unreal. i can’t believe he’s really gone. [12:10] he hated me for being a bloodtraitor. i dont even know if he knew what that really meant. am i going to forget what he looks like in ten years? 

[1:02] don’t ever leave me[1:02] please

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[4:11] moony i think someone’s trying to break into my flat[4:19] fuck. fuck it’s them. it’s them. 

[4:28] they’re in the house[4:32] moony if they take me away promise youre not going to try to find me[4:33] i’m scared. they’re going to find me. 

[4:47] i love you, okay? just in case. [4:49] remus lupin you take care of j

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[11:49] so what are you wearing?