been an open any pronouns user for like 7 or 8 years and i feel like i keep encountering the same weird pattern in how irl people struggle to deal w that information cause like...
i don't tend to be the one to bring it up first (part safety, part convenience), but when asked i do tell people that i'm fine w any pronouns (bc i am) and istg every single time they seem to hear that, observe my slightly androgynous style of expression, have the words i said fly out of their mind immediately, and just decide on vibes that i meant to say "they/them pronouns" bc i then proceed to *exclusively* hear they/them pronouns being used for me from that person.
which is already kinda annoying on it's own if i notice it happening, right? whole other sentence from what i said. feels like they're being weirdly paternalistic/assuming they have a better understanding of my gender than i do and yet also like they're scared of something i'm literally trying to minimize the fear factor for. but also (from experience) so many people get confused as hell (+ more scared) if you try and suggest they could mix it up more than they have been.
i could go on, but whatever, it'll mostly be bearable for awhile cause it's not the set itself that bothers me (and depending on the group it's sometimes novel enough from what i'm used to that i semi-enjoy it)... except it's happened multiple fucking times that, bc of one person opting to exclusively use those pronouns, it starts seeping into the speech of other people that both of us *do* interact with (mainly it's been a coworkers situation) but, notably, *haven't* themselves asked me my pronouns and had up until then been using the pronouns they'd assume based on my appearance +/- whatever they heard used for me first, and it spreads and builds until eventually someone in the group uses either he or she to refer to me and then corrects themselves with "or, sorry, they" and i'm just like...that's not a thing i have ever said you need to do???? did someone else tell you you were supposed to do that???? you didn't use to do that, are you never gonna confirm for yourself if that's a thing you're supposed to do????
