#about feyna

Thank you so much everyboy for your kind words!!! I truly appreciate it.💖💖

Imagine my surprise when I checked the app out of curiosity and found two unanswered questions... Which, I will definitely get to, as soon as I have some time. (And thank you!)😊

Small life update to explain why I've been AWOL: I'm getting married next month. And not even a week later, we'll be leaving for our honeymoon (in the States!)

You can imagine how busy I've been. 😅 I've also never been happier, though, so it's all worth it.

Anyway, once things calm down a little, I may start using this blog a bit more frequently again.

I'm on a business trip with my superior, so I've been spending a lot of time with her even outside of work hours. Today, during a casual conversation, I let slip that I have a huge crush on that other coworker I've written about in the past.

To be perfectly honest, I thought everyone knew by now. The women, at least. I've been doing my best to be subtle, of course, but I've been on the other side as well and I know -- hiding something like this is impossible. Even if you don't do anything in particular to make it obvious, there's the way your eyes literally shine when you look at that person, the adoring expression, how you blush and/or stutter when you interact... Every person is different in how they react to this, of course, but from the outside, you can tell when there's such a strong interest.

...except apparently, I've been doing a much better job at hiding my feelings that I thought for my superior was flabbergasted.

Her first reaction was a gasp, followed by, "You're jocking, right? You must be jocking!"

Feeling rather foolish at that point, but thinking I was too far in to back down, I assured her that no, unfortunately, I wasn't jocking. Nevertheless, I'm definitely able to keep up a professional relationship and pretend my feelings don't exist.

Turns out that wasn't what my superior was concerned about. Apparently, what everyone has been noticing and commenting about behind my back is that he is completely smitten with me. He has never explicitly denied when confronted about it, either, just veered the conversation to a different topic. Which -- is not a denial.

Not to mention, it would be completely understandable if he didn't want to make a move without knowing how I felt about it -- after all, I'm much younger than he is and he's also technically one of my superiors, even though I'm not directly under him. Being the sensible person he is, he is aware the situation would be quite uncomfortable for me if I didn't reciprocate his interest.

I went out wearing a crop top, a light, airy skirt, and sandals.

Which meant that a cheerful conversation turned in: screams, two people teleporting to stand on their chairs, everybody else with their feet tucked on their seats (we were all wearing sandals so we were essentially barefooted. Personally, I'm not particularly afraid of rats but I wouldn't fancy touching one either...) and an army of waitresses rushing in brandishing brooms at the screams of "Close the kitchen's door! Don't let it escape!!"

The metallic voice warning about the smoke detectors isn't new... But this time, they so helpfully added a list of items you aren't allowed to use due to that.

I think I have already mentioned that my new job and living arrangement leave me quite busy, but it isn't only that. Truth be told, I'm in a better mental place than I've been in a long, long while.

First of all, I love my new job. I like what I'm doing, there are constant updates and challenges so I don't feel like I'm stagnating, a machine always repeating the same actions over and over without ever being able to give my own input. Moreover, my superiors often praise me for my work and they're trusting me with more important matters, which, I'm not going to lie, is pretty nice as well and does contribute to my general well-being.

Of course, my new job has some downsides as well (first of all, the salary, lmao) but perfection doesn't exist. Not to mention, I fit in pretty well with my coworkers, which is another important factor in my opinion as we cooperate a lot, which ultimately makes everybody's work easier and creates a pleasant environment. The coworker I share my office with, who also happens to be my direct superior, can only be described as an angel.

In a more unexpected twist, I've also met a group of people whom I would actually call "friends" and I've started having a social life as well, which, well... I'll always be tendentially introverted and I don't mind my alone time, but spending time with some people I can truly connect with also does wonders for mental health.

But why am I writing this down? What I'm trying to get to is that, with my real life being more satisfying, I've felt the need to turn to online platforms a lot less than I used to, which is probably the main reason I haven't been very active here.

Even so, I do miss it a bit. In particular, I really miss writing – and everything else (posting short headcanons to flesh out the characters, analysis, reblogging stuff I found interesting or even just funny, art) was, in a way, connected to that. (Not to mention, I feel like my English is deteriorating, while keeping a bit active on tumblr allowed me to exercise as well.) I want to get back to this.

Let's be real, over the last three years, I've done many attempts to go back to writing and they all failed. Still, I feel like trying again. Who knows what will happen this time?

Cheers!