Top Posts Tagged with #abnormal talking

I haven't felt this in some time. Wauh. The looming belief that I should die so I no longer have my evil self in this world. Crazy

#bweeehhh. to be frank I really hate having to be a responsible human.#having free will means I have the possibility to be evil #the fact that I could be spreading evil with my hands and mouth is sickening. if only I could be just an object #unfortunately the only two doors available to me is Deal With It or Kill Myself. rather than be a thing that can't be held accountable.#abnormal talking

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I feel kinda doomed tbh like I just don't wanna do the stuff that's required to live yk so like what else to do than to rot sooner or later. I'm just like experiencing a bunch of skill issue on my part tbh

#idk man at some point I feel like I can't fall on the 'im too sad' and it's just a character flaw and i can't do anything for myself.#I know I have worth in this digital world and I make people happy with my existence and my art and my words and my thoughts.#but irl I'm just dead weight really. I'm helping with chores and such but I don't bring anything else to the table.#I dunno man I feel like I'm never getting out of the cycle of it all. I just don't wanna do shit. man. and that's a me problem.#sighh. kicks rocks. I wish I was better at school and such but whoops I got too sad. I don't know if I can manage schooling again.#so much money and I don't feel all that confident I won't get sad again and just flub it all. so idkk. j #sighh. maybe there's something I can do online that could pay. fuckin hell. what even. that's all I can hope for really.#if only I actually liked popular characters and were better at art so maybe people would be inclined to comm me. hah.#but I have a very limited audience and I don't want to compromise the self. so. unless someone happens to be interested Somehow #got nothing to do w my art skills. alas.#sighhhhh. I kinda just don't wanna wake up one day but at the same time it'd suck for the people online who just see me vanish #I wanna say goodbye . but active methods do not work out at all. so eugh. so really my best bet is that I die in my sleep somehow.#no goodbyes to my friends but at least I don't suffer. and I don't have to be a burden to this household anymore.#author talking about their own f.anfic voice: notice how I never call the people related to me by blood my family and instead say household #that's because the title of family ☝️ is bestowed upon those who I want it to. to those I love. I love my fambily. not these people.#abnormal talking

I've stopped using the for you tab and it's made my Tumblr experience like 60% better I just hope this weight clears soon I don't like it

#literally as I'm typing this my body just pulled the thing and is making me feel physical symptoms of my mental woes. on goddd #like cmonnn maannn we learned our lesson GET OVER IT!!!!!#abnormal talking

Tonight is a night where I feel things hit me and that I have to be a person and that is a lot of effort. UG's situation is not in any way 'good' but there is a desire in the simplicity of not existing and not having to worry about other people and society. Just yourself. Alone. Nothing. Nobody. It's hell, but it's a straight forward simple torture.

#abnormal talking #unnamed girlie

Pesc is a good character because it would be horrifying to try your best and your best wasn't even good and it was too late anyway. So you die for nothing and everyone will only have memories of you doing nothing. And the protags move on without a care for how they desecrated your body. Horrifying fate for a man.

#which is to say I'm Very Scared to end up like Pescer #but at the same time I'm feeling like. a tired man. you know. I'm feeling weak.#I dunno. there's so much to this world. so much responsibility a person has to take hold. I don't know if I can ever handle that.#abnormal talking

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I want to throw up and also shoot myself in the head but it's whatever I'll be able to go to sleep in like an hour I'll be fine

#you either grow or you die and the latter feels like a rather tempting option #but I still dunno how I would go about buying the rope so we'll see the former option first. I supposee #abnormal talking

When my mom is complaining that she managed to do stuff on her own when shit talking my brother so I kinda have to die and become not a person anymore

#no the a.utism diagnoses mean nothing ma'am it truly is only your children's faults they can't do shit ever and not that they need like #more support. more support? oh they should've just gotten the willpower to do better knowing they have a single mother.#hardship begets strength; doesn't it?#haahahahahahahahahahahaha #abnormal talking

I just feel like the T.enna "the family's fighting again" image except they aren't really my family other than blood . Kicks rock.

#abnormal talking

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