#abitsad

Got asked to draw my boi lishe like this os made a quick doodle and here it is. #MyArt #art #oc #doodle #abitsad https://www.instagram.com/p/CA0D5lDp7Of/?igshid=1306ja5yl3vor

7:44p.m.

And you know what? I'm still alive. Bit down in the dumps, but (being the contrary-mary I am) I'm also grateful for everything I still have. So, my work colleagues and I were told our jobs are on the line. The job I love, with people I love working with. Yes, I can feel a good cry building up, but I'm trying not to worry. I know what's meant to be is meant to be. I know I'm in good hands with God, my spirit guides, but, I just can't bear to imagine being in a job where I'm not as happy as I am where I work now. I'm petrified of living a thoroughly miserable work life. I live to work. No point in asking 'why is all this happening to me and my family' when there are worse things than can happen. We are blessed compared with some. I can't help think that it's another kick in the teeth for us. I dread to think 'what's next'. I start building hope, and it gets destroyed again. Thank goodness for my beautiful faith...

own thoughts

While going strong for most of last week (did had quite a few low bloodsugars) I had a relapse today. I thought one cookie wouldn’t mind but one turned into 5. I feel disgusted, dissapointed and just sad. I woke up with another low bloodsugar and just had my normal breakfast. But when everyone went to work/school I found myself looking for food in the cabinets.  I can’t change it, that’s the saddest part about it. It’s my own fault. Normally I would go on with my life but while getting dressed my thoughts turned darker and darker. When I almost started crying I thought wait, no. I made myself a cup of tea and started making a list of what I still need to do today. I definitely need to stop using food as an excuse for the way I feel.  Thank god for the gym tonight, going to kick ass  💪