#abigailwrites

——————————————————————————————————

Harry watched the school fade away in the wing mirror as Louis drove, the taste of his last cigarette still lingering in his mouth.

“So,” Louis said, sparking up the conversation, “How was it today?”

Harry made a soft grunt. “Load of shit. People are just so arrogant there. They think they’re so much better than everyone else when really they’re just a load of privileged kids.”

“Hate to break it to you love, but you are also a privileged kid. Although not arrogant, thank God.” Louis smiled, keeping his eyes on the road but sensing the younger boy sitting next to him smile too.

“Could you ever imagine me acting like my sister? Or Robin, even worse.” Harry asked, sliding down in his seat a little and stretching his legs out.

“Hey, you’re sisters not that bad. She’s accepted me, which is more than I thought she’d ever do. Can’t speak for your step-Dad though. Never really met the fella. Seemed like a bit of an arse though when I waited at your party on Friday."

“He’s more than an arse, Lou. He’s ruined my life by treating me like shit and I’m sick of it,” Harry paused for a moment before admitting, “he scares me.”

 Louis’ face dropped at his partners confession, thinking of all the nights Harry had to live feeling so alone before he’d met him. Louis just wanted to take Harry away. Harry may have a lot of money, a big house, and a brilliant education, but nothing seems worth it when there is no one to enjoy it with.

Remembering the night he met him, Louis thought of how small Harry looked compared to now. It’s crazy how just two months can change a person. The seventeen year old had caught his eye immediately that first night at Bert’s family dinner. Louis thought it was hard to imagine Harry not catching anyone’s eye. For starters his unruly curls are hard to miss, but beyond that sit such mesmerising green eyes that hold such emotion if one were to look properly. But that was the trouble, no one ever did.

Most people who surround themselves in Harry’s lifestyle would take one look at him and nothing more. With that one look they examine the materialistic.  The clothing, is it expensive? Shoes, are they clean? His teeth, are they white? They couldn’t tell, because he never smiled. But yes, he’s rich, he belongs here, he’s allowed, and then they move on.

Louis wouldn’t even dream of living such a life. He took his eyes off of the road for a split second to glance at his unofficial boyfriend.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore y’know?” Louis offered, slowing his speed as they entered the town centre.

“Not with you I don’t.” Harry confirmed. “But with Robin it’s just different. I’m not a son to him, I’m just…there. But at the same time without Robin my family wouldn’t have anything. My Mum, and Gemma, they’d be lost.” He huffed, hating admitting how weak he felt.

Louis smiled, not really knowing what to say to comfort his boyfriend at that current moment. “Fancy a coffee? I’m parched.”

Louis swung the car into a free parking space before waiting for Harry’s response. Once Louis had killed the engine and taken his seatbelt off Harry placed his hand on the older boy’s knee.

“I’m sorry,” he said, greens eyes glistening. “I just had to get that off of my chest. I’ve never really spoken to anyone about how Robin makes me feel before. It’s just…I’m just so glad I met you. I mean it.” Harry looked into Louis’ eyes, praying that he didn’t think the younger boy was stupid or pathetic. But instead, Louis gave a toothy grin.

“Good. I’m happy I met you too. And I want you to talk to me. About anything. You’re so important to me Haz, I don’t ever what you to feel hurt or upset. Especially not when it’s some stupid man who can’t even see how amazing you are. Don’t worry. One day you’ll grow up and move away and you’ll never have to see him again.”

Harry gave a small smile, thankful for the kind words. He unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the car, meeting Louis on the pavement. 

“Thank you,” he said just before planting a kiss on Louis’ lips. Weeks ago he wouldn’t have even dared do such a thing. Not in the middle of the town centre where people where briskly walking up and down the streets. But that small moment of love between the two filled him with pride and confidence. His cheeks still blushed, and his eyes couldn’t help but dart this way and that to see if anyone was looking. But it meant a lot, to both him and Louis judging by the goofy smiles on their faces.

“Come on,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand. “There’s a coffee shop just down here. You don’t mind, do you?” he asked, indicating to their interlocked hands. Harry shook his head straight away, giving Louis’ hand a gentle squeeze with his own.

“Nah. Who cares right? It’s not like anyone who would care would recognise me anyway.” Harry admitted truthfully. Even if his Mother’s best friend walked past, she wouldn’t give a second glance. She probably couldn’t pick Harry out of a line up.

As they walked the short journey they did receive a few looks. A few older people scoffed at the pair, shaking their heads slightly but never uttering a word. One boy around the same age as Louis grinned as he walked past, patting a hand on his shoulder and saying, “Alright, Tommo?” He looked at Harry, “Alright Tommo’s other half?” 

Harry just blinked and watched the boy walk away. “Friend from school,” Louis shrugged, guiding Harry to a shop with tables and chairs outside.

They ignored two Mothers sat with babies on their laps who said to each other loud enough to hear, “Amazing, isn’t it? How freely they express themselves these days? It’s disgusting.”

“What do you fancy?” Louis asked, grabbing his wallet from his pocket and they walked into the shop.

“Don’t be stupid, you always pay.” Harry said, retrieving a £5 from his own wallet. “A latte’s fine.”

Louis huffed but accepted the money anyway and ordered the drinks. Harry glanced around the shop. It wasn’t too busy, but it was rather loud with a table of young girls giggling to themselves and a screeching baby the next table over. The only person he recognised was his Mathematics teacher who had embarrassed him earlier that day. He was sat in a corner with his laptop, looking rather fed up at the noise around him. The shop was in the nicer area of town, but due to the cheaper prices it was the prime place for teenagers. Harry just smiled to himself, trying not to laugh as the teacher took a gulp of his black coffee, spilling it down his white shirt in the process.

“Here,” Louis said, handing Harry a takeout cup. “Want to sit somewhere else? It’s kind of noisy in here.”

“Sure,” Harry said, leading the way back out of the door. Outside it was much quieter due to the chilly weather, with only a few of the tables and chairs taken, one of course being the two Mothers. One looked directly at Harry, eyes narrowed slightly. 

He stared right back with a smile. “We can sit out here if you like?” He said to Louis behind him, noticing how the woman’s eyes narrowed even further.

Louis just followed as Harry moved past the two women, taking a seat near a business-like man with thick glasses and a cigarette hanging from his mouth as he typed furiously at a laptop.

“Good idea. It’s nice today. Cold, but nice.”  Louis noted, looking up at the clear sky. He took a sip from his drink and turned back to Harry. “When are you eighteen?”

Harry blinked a couple of times. “Uh…not until February. Why?”

Louis shrugged. “Just wondering. I suppose it’s just the novelty of dating a seventeen year old is getting a bit tiresome now.” Smirking as he watched Harry’s face fall in confusion. “I’m joking you idiot.” He laughed nudging Harry’s arm with his fist. “I was just wondering when I could start taking you out for a proper drink.”

“Oh,” Harry laughed, feeling a little silly, “well it’s still three months yet. A month after and I leave school…finally.” He took a sip of his own drink, licked his bottom lip and said, “So we’re dating are we?”

“Huh?” Louis asked, his attention previously on the younger boys tongue.

“You said the novelty of dating a seventeen year old was getting boring. So…we’re dating?” Harry and Louis had never truly confirmed what they’re relationship was. To anyone it seemed obvious that they were boyfriends, or at the very least dating. But these words had never been confirmed between the two of them.

“Well, I suppose that’s kind of obvious isn’t it?” Louis smirked. “We’ve been on dates so...we’re dating.”

“I think we’ve done more than go on dates.” Harry grinned, his voice huskier than was necessary causing Louis to blush.

“You little shit,” Louis laughed, “you can’t talk to me like th-”

“Excuse me?”

Louis and Harry turned in their seats to look at who had interrupted their conversation. It was the mothers. They were both staring at the two boys, one with her brown hair slicked back into a ponytail and the other with blonde curls. She slapped her toddler’s chubby hand away as it went to pull on one of the golden ringlets.

“Can I help you?” Louis asked confused, knowing full well he didn’t recognise either of the two women. They seemed as if they came from Harry’s side of town judging by the brand of their jumpers, but it was clear Harry didn’t recognise them either.

“Yes, I would like you to move please.” The one with the ponytail said.

“Pardon?” Louis said, eyebrows raised slightly.

“I said I would like you and your…hussy to move. You’re making my friend and I, and most importantly our children feel uncomfortable.” The children in question couldn’t have been less bothered about the male couple as they giggled and chewed their fingers.

“Is it illegal for me and my boyfriend to be here?” Louis asked, placing emphasis on the word boyfriend making Harry’s heart swell. He watched as his boyfriend’s shoulders squared, his eyebrows raised and his eyes squinted. Louis had his bitch face on, and it couldn’t have turned Harry on more.

“No, it’s not illegal. But it’s wrong and disgusting.” The other woman chirped up, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Well I think your quite evident boob job is wrong and disgusting and I feel sorry for your poor child. But you know what? It’s a free world and I don’t judge you, so leave us alone, yeah?” Louis gave a sarcastic smile and was ready to turn back around when one of the women shouted.

“You’re a perverted little boy, and I won’t stand for this homosexual filth.” Harry and Louis both raised their eyebrows at each other, Louis opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted.

“Are these boys bothering you, ma’am?” The man sat at the other table spoke. He looked up from his computer and took the cigarette from his mouth into his fingers.

The women sighed in relief, the ponytailed on replying, “Yes they are. I assume they’re bothering you too?”

Louis had a face of fury, while Harry just looked on astonished and embarrassed.

“No, they’re not bothering me. You’re bothering me.” His voice was sooth and full of etiquette despite the cigarette he was puffing from.

The two women looked at each other, and back to the man. “I beg your pardon?” One said, full of shock.

“These boys have every right to be here enjoying themselves as we do. They’re gay, not murderers, and not rapists. It is not illegal, it is not a sin. If you have a problem with them expressing their relationship just like you do with your children or no doubt with your husband’s then please remove yourselves. The problem here lays with you and your arrogance, not these guys.”

Louis had lowered his head and was giggling into his shoulder while Harry just continued to watch, a smile forming.

“I will absolutely not remove myself! These two disgu-” The blonde haired one argued back. She was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder.

“What’s the problem here?” A man asked, his arms flexing with muscle.

The blonde shoved his hand away and stood up, her child held on her waist. “My friend as I asked these boys to move as they were being rude.”

The man, who was clearly the manager, raised his eyebrows at the two boys in question. Neither knew what to say but it seemed the manager wasn’t looking for their answer.

“And what exactly was rude?” he turned back to the women.

“They’re…they’re gay.” The ponytailed one hissed.

“I see,” the manager breathed a huge sigh of annoyance, “well I can only see one option here. I don’t stand for arrogance. Neither my staff nor my customers should have to put up with it. Please leave. You’re more than welcome to return, but if you spout your homophobic nonsense again you won’t be invited back.”

There was silence for a moment. The women were clearly in shock, as were Harry and Louis who could only watch and snigger as the two women collected their things and held their heads high as they left their table. The businessman had returned to his laptop, seemingly unfazed by the last five minutes.

“Sorry about that, lads, I can only apologise.” The manager said, clearing away the cups at the now empty table.

“No worries, mate. Thank you.” Louis smiled, his voice genuine and pure. The manager just nodded and returned back to the hustle and bustle inside. “And thanks for standing up for us. You didn’t have to do that.” Louis turned to the businessman.

He grunted as if to say ‘no problem’ as he lit another cigarette and started typing at his laptop again.

Louis let out a long exhale. “Fuck me, that was intense wasn’t it?” He leaned back in his chair and looked at the younger boy. “You okay?” he noticed Harry had been very quiet since the whole ordeal.

Harry looked up, straight into Louis’ eyes, leaned across the table, a hand behind the boys head and kissed him furiously. Louis made a noise of surprise; eyes wide open before closing them and smiling into the kiss.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” Harry whispered against Louis’ lips. Louis smiled, never thinking he’d ever hear anyone say those words to him. The most meaningful and beautiful phrase. He kissed the younger boy in response, a soft and gentle kiss.

They pulled away, smiling to themselves. Louis looked down at his cup, swirling the coffee around. “Still scared?” he asked.

“Terrified.” Harry said, taking Louis’ hand. “But maybe not so much. Robin’s just going to have to deal with it. Just like everyone else, right?”

“Right.” Louis agreed, downing the rest of his coffee. He stood up as Harry took his last gulp. “Back to mine?”

“Sure.” Harry said, picking up his school bag at his feet. He fished a £10 from his wallet and slapped it down on the businessman’s table. “Buy yourself a drink on me. Something stronger maybe.” Harry said.

The businessman grunted again and gave a thumbs up. The boys left their table, but not before taking each other’s hands.

They walked back down the pavement, this time Harry took less care of the people that looked at them. If he wanted to be with Louis he’d have to stop caring about everyone else.

The idea of telling Robin and his Mother still frightened Harry, but he still had a while to come to terms with it. And besides, who says he has to tell them about his boyfriend straight away? According to them Harry was still that shy, pale boy who had no friends. And he only had four months. Three until he was eighteen, and another month after that until he left school. Then he would be gone. He can do whatever he pleases, and he hoped that whatever it was involved Louis somehow, and he had a feeling it would.

——————————————————————————————————

“Mr. Styles?” A voice called annoyance clearly audible. The boy in question was sat at the back of the class, head down, eyes half open. He just wanted to leave this Goddamn place and go back to sleep. But as it was, he was only in his second hour of lessons.

“Mr. Styles!” The voice called again, much more aggressive this time. Hearing the call this time Harry looked up. The entire class were turned in their seats, looking at him. His maths teacher was looming over his desk, a dark shadow cast over him.

“Um…yes?” Harry asked, cheeks burning red.

“Mr. Styles, I appreciate that it is a Monday morning and that Mathematics is a more advanced subject for your…intellect. But I suggest you pay more attention or else I have no choice but to inform your parents about your lack of care for your work.”

Usually Harry would have just blushed scarlet and nodded. But this time he spoke. “My parents wouldn’t care, so do what you want.” It was a lie, because Robin would be furious. But his bad night’s sleep was making him cranky.

The other fifteen or so pupils showed their expressions of shock and murmured to each other about shy Harry Styles reply. Not only did shy Harry Styles never usually utter a word, but the words that he chose to utter today were not ones of apology.

“For this one instance, Mr. Styles, I will forget what you just said to me. You’re clearly tired and are not thinking straight. Now pay attention.”

Harry just huffed and turned back to his work. His heart was beating rapidly, and his cheeks glowed red. But he couldn’t have cared less. He really was developing an attitude problem, although if he was honest with himself it was ten years in the making. Had he not been such a shy and secluded child, he would have released his anger much earlier in life. As it was, he was a seventeen year old teenager. Nearly an adult, but with the stroppiness of a toddler.

Ten minutes after the incident a female student turned in her seat subtly to look at the boy behind her. Through his bird nest hair he stared back, green eyes dead and unimpressed. She raised her eyebrows at him, as if in shock, and turned back around.

‘wtf’s happened to styles?’ she wrote on a piece of paper. She folded it twice and passed it to her friend at the next desk. The other female read the note, looked back to her friend and shrugged.

She made a motion with her hand, two fingers up to her lips and inhaled as if she were smoking, and went cross-eyed. Drugs, she suggested. The first friends shook her head, disagreeing. She used her thumbs and forefingers to make the shape of a heart. Love, she suggested. The second friends stifled a giggle and shook her head violently.

She glanced up at the teacher to make sure he wasn’t looking and wrote in reply, ‘no1 would love him. right?’

The first friend snatched the paper, turned it over and scribbled her reply. ‘he’s not ugly. look at him now. not hard for someone 2 fall for the moody n misunderstood guy.’

After reading the second friend turned her head to look at the boy behind them. She looked past the normal clumsy and awkward Harry that she normal saw, and noticed that, yes indeed, he was rather attractive. And had seemed to blossom over the last couple of months. She felt dirty thinking that the boy she’d made fun of for years was actually pretty hot, but giggled quietly along with her friend.

This time she made the heart sign with her fingers, and nodded, agreeing with her friend that Harry must be in love. They smirked at each other, silently agreeing to keep their eye on him. This was going to be interesting, they decided.

Finally the bell rang. It was a Godsend, because now they had their fifteen minute break. Harry was up and out of his seat before most of the class had put away their books. As he walked through the corridors he held his head high. Usually he would stumble and look at the ground, but today he looked every student in the eye. He couldn’t wait to get outside and breathe in some fresh air after being in a pathetically stuffy classroom for so long.

He practically flung himself out of the doors when he eventually reached them. The sun blearing down at him hurt his bloodshot eyes, but he was thankful to just be out of the building. He went over to his usual spot, where he stood and observed people. Most days he brought an apple to snack on for these fifteen minutes, but today had nothing other than the cigarettes in his pocket. All around him teachers stood, watching as students chatted and shouted and screamed. Harry was non-existent to them. But even they would notice the smell of cigarette smoke.

No, Harry couldn’t smoke here in plain sight. He had to find somewhere secret. Around the back of a building perhaps? He walked quickly and quietly, following the wall of the Arts building. If anywhere was going to be quiet, it would be the art building. Art and design were most definitely some of the less popular subjects amongst the school. They were considered less academic, and positively useless to a lot of the students and their parents. But to Harry they were, or rather the building was a safe haven.

And much like he predicted, as he turned the final corner, there was not a person to be seen. He smiled to himself, and placed his back to the wall with one foot up. He felt effortlessly cool in his own little world. As pathetic as it sounded, Harry had never felt cool. It was only now, as he lit up a cigarette, with his hair a mess, that he felt important. In his head he imagined himself walking through those corridors, a smoke in one hand and Louis’ fingers interlaced with his on the other. He even imagined a leather jacket, but perhaps that was a bit too farfetched. He wasn’t in ‘Grease’ for Christ’s sake.

He retrieved his phone from his bag to check the time and was surprised to see he had a message.

‘Hey, love. Hope your days ok. XX’

Of course it was from Louis. He blushed to himself and sent a reply.

‘It’s bearable. Seeing you will make it better. XX’

He was hopelessly in love. It was sickening really, but Harry couldn’t have given a damn. Call him selfish, but he was happy. He drifted back into his own little word, puffing on his smoke which was almost finished.

Seconds later the school bell rang.

“Shit,” Harry muttered, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it with his shoe. He ruffled his hair, which now smelt strongly of smoke, and ran to his next class.

He got there with plenty of time. It was History, which was a class that Harry could disappear in. It was taught by a rather old and rather chubby man who would drone on about the facts of the past. It was truly interesting, if Harry were to be honest. And he did sometimes listen depending on the subject matter. But most of the time he hunched in his seat at the back of the class and became invisible.

“Jesus, Styles. You stink!” A boy named Andrew exclaimed. He was a friend of Bert’s, and was therefore, of course, a dickhead.

Usually, as shy Harry Styles does, he would have ignored Andrew. But instead he said, “Thanks, Andrew. Not that I really give a shit what you have to say.” He spoke quietly, not wanting to cause a scene. But he shouldn’t have spoken at all.

“Oh, look at little Harry. Actually got the guts to speak back?” Andrew retaliated in a pathetic voice. A few others around them giggled. “What’s wrong with you, Styles? What, all of a sudden you think you can talk to me like that? Think again. You’re pathetic, with your fucking attitude and your fag stinking breath. Sort yourself out.”

Harry just ignored the insult and walked into the classroom. A few others were already in their seats, and watched as Harry grumpily made his way to the back of the classroom leaving behind him the scent of cigarette smoke.

Smoking was not uncommon at the school. In fact it was hard to find a student who hadn’t at least tried it. But it was pretty much a given that, unless someone was fucking stupid, don’t smoke on school property, and if someone did, they made a damn good job about hiding it. Despite the fact that the students were drinkers and drug takers and could party all night if they wanted to, they understood that this school was prestigious. It had a name for itself, and for the students within it. In all honesty they respected the school, considering their parents spent a lot of money for their kids to go there. Because this was not just some contemporary school where anyone could get in. Students could only attend this school if they were high class enough. Meaning shirts had to be ironed, and leather shoes clean, and hair not stinking of smoke. And that is why those who were in the classroom turned to look at Harry. And they all thought the same thing. ‘Something must be seriously wrong with that kid.’

The day seemed to go on forever. The minutes ticking by like hours, but eventually that last school bell rang. Harry sighed with relief, and with the other students walked briskly to the front doors. Amongst the hoard he checked his phone. As he suspected he had another text.

‘I’ll be 10 minutes. Sorry got held down at work. Will you wait for me? XX’

Harry smiled and texted back that of course he would wait. Once he was outside, he rummaged in his pocket and took a cigarette from the packet. He walked away from the front doors of the school and lit the smoke in his mouth. He continued to walk down the path a little so he wasn’t in the crowd that loitered around to gossip. This smoking really was starting to become a habit, but he couldn’t have really cared less. Because the looks he received from both the boys and girls as they walked past him made him feel 100 feet tall. Students were in shock. It was something so small and pathetic, but seeing Harry Styles smoking was like seeing an elephant jump. Impressive, but impossible. He wasn’t such a shy little boy anymore.

Like many thought at the beginning of the day, something was happening to Harry Styles. And now so many more people had noticed. To most people Harry Styles could be described as a quivering mess. Pathetic, shy, non-existent. But today…today he had turned into someone who could only be described as an interestingly attractive loner. Because Harry Styles hadn’t just started smoking. He’d matured. He held himself taller, his voice was deeper, his eyes held more emotion. Harry Styles was a book that wanted to be opened and read, but couldn’t because no one never dared get near enough to it.

Harry Styles was interesting…

That is what people had learnt. He always had been, but his pages were blank and were left waiting for someone or something to fill it.

And now those pages were crammed full of excitement and risk and love and enjoyment. Harry Styles had grown from nothing into something very real and like nothing anyone had ever seen before.

People wanted to know Harry Styles. They wanted to learn. What had happened to him? What was he about? What was his story?

Well, it was driving up the road. It was slamming its hand on the wheel, beeping it’s cars horn letting Harry know he was there.

People turned and people stared as Harry’s Styles’ boyfriend parked up in front of him. He wore cool sunglasses, and he had floppy hair and stubble. He had a shirt on with the sleeves rolled up. He was blasting music with guitars and bass and drums.

“Hey.” He smiled at Harry. Girls walked past and their eyes lingered on the boy in the car.

“Hey.” Harry smiled back, taking a last pull of his cigarette and flicking it to the ground. Boy’s watched as the smoke swirled around Harry’s curly hair as he opened Louis’ car door and seated himself in the familiar seat.

He lent forward, and captured Louis’ lips with his own in a short but sweet kiss.

And Harry knew people had seen.

And Harry for once, actually didn’t care.

“Let’s go, yeah?” Louis grinned.

“Yeah.” Harry grinned back, winding down his window so the new song that had just started blared out to the world.

Louis smiled to himself, knowing Harry had grown. Sure, he was pissed Harry was smoking again. But fuck it, who cares? He revved the car and sped off down the road, laughing at a couple of girls faces who had watched the whole encounter.

It’s been over a year, Harry realised. He sat alone, tracing with his slender fingers the anchor that lay forever inked to his wrist. Sighing, knowing full well what words were now hidden. He couldn’t change, and he hadn’t. No matter what others said. How well the media tried to portray him as a slut, a drunk, a hipster, a wannabe. Going off the rails and charming the pants off of the next big thing. It was not true. He had always stayed true to himself, like he had promised.

He smiled to himself, although weakly. Moving up his arm he looked to the most recent black mess that littered his skin. A book. Still a little red and tender. He touched it delicately. Underneath the black ink sat some familiar words. “Things I can’t...” He laughed to himself bitterly.

So much had changed in just over a year. It’s not that Harry didn’t expect this; it was that he watched as everything else around him changed while he stayed the 17 year old boy everyone fell in love with. Sure, he was taller and leaner and more defined with much more hair upon his head. But inside he was still that simple Harry Styles. He huffed. It was the first moment of silence he had had in a while. He savoured it. Thinking back to the X Factor days, and even to the days before, when he was just Harry Styles the school boy.

His silence was stopped by the opening of his door. “Haz?” came that familiar voice. A fuzzy haired head popped through the door. “Louis?” Harry asked, confused, turning his full attention to the boy in the doorway. “Can I come in?” the question was awkward. A year ago he needn’t have asked. Rather he would have barged in the room and tackled the younger boy with a hug. But now, now that was all different.

“Um, yeah, sure.” Harry replied, sitting up straighter on his bed and inviting Louis to join him. The older boy shuffled in nervously, as if the widely familiar room was actually unfamiliar to him. His eyes were bleary and his stubble just a little longer than normal.

“What’s up?” Harry asked, now picking at his faded black jeans.

“I just wanted a chat. Seems like we haven’t had a minute alone in ages.” Louis replied, fiddling with his hands nervously.

“There were plenty of opportunities for us to be alone, Louis. You just chose not to take them, for whatever reason.” It wasn’t supposed to be as mean as it sounded, but Harry wasn’t really one to care anymore.

Louis scratched his head. “Well it hasn’t exactly been easy, right?”

“For who? You? Yeah I’m sure your life has really sucked this last year.”

“It’s been a year?”

“Longer Louis. Longer than a year.”

“...Fuck...”

“Yeah,” Harry sniffed, snatching the beer bottle that was on his bedside table and taking a swig.

“You have another one of those?” Louis asked.

“No,” Harry replied bluntly, pulling at the corner of the label with his thumb. “What do you want?”

“A chat, like I said.”

“Like I said, Louis. It’s been a year. Longer. You’ve had your chances, you just chose not to take them. You’ve had your own life. I have mine. Its fine, Louis. I get it.”

“I just want to talk, Harry. Now we’re off tour things just seem a lot...calmer I guess. I’m ready to talk now. Just us two, you know. Without it being weird or anything.”

“Oh, you’re ready?” Harry nearly laughed. “Well, thanks. So you haven’t been ready to talk to me all this time? Been too awkward for you, has it?” He ripped the label from his bottle.

“Come on, Harry. Don’t be like this. You understand where I’m coming from. We’ve both been through a lot. We’ve dealt with a lot of shit.” Not once through this entire conversation had Harry met Louis’ eye.

“No, Louis. No, I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit. Not you. You have Eleanor clinging to your arm every waking hour. You’ve been just fine. I am the one taking all the crap for this band. Me! And I don’t even know what I’ve fucking done!”

“Oh, come off it, Harry. Don’t act like the victim here. We’ve all had it. Look at all the shit Eleanor’s been given!”

“Mmm, I bet its real hard being called a fake girlfriend,” Harry took another sip of his drink. “Don’t worry baby, let’s go on another shopping trip. Oh, no, it’s okay. I’ll pay for everything. Wait, here. Have my balls too. Keep them in a little jar by your bed, it’s not like I need them anymore.” Harry mimicked in a poor attempt at Louis’ Doncaster accent.

“Shut up Harry!” Louis snapped, furious. “Don’t drag Eleanor into this. None of this is her fault.”

“Look, Louis. I don’t care anymore, okay. I really don’t care. It’s finished. Enough.” Harry stood up, strode to his door and opened it, gesturing for Louis to leave.

“You’re a mess.” Louis simply stated, not moving from his spot on the bed.

“Don’t talk to me like you know who I am.” Harry said. He had lost his cool. Usually he was sweet, calm and collected. Nothing bothered him usually. But every thought and emotion he had bottled up was now spilling out of his mouth.

“Of course I do. Don’t be stupid. You haven’t changed a bit.” Louis laughed sarcastically.

“I haven’t changed a bit, no. But I don’t even recognise you anymore.” Harry said, slamming the door shut, understanding Louis wasn’t leaving any time soon.

Louis was lost for words. In some ways he was furious by Harry’s last statement. But in a bizarre way he understood.

“I don’t know any of you anymore,” Harry continued, moving back to the bed. “Don’t you ever look in the mirror and look at yourself and see how much has changed. What we’ve all become?”

“I don’t look at myself anymore, Haz,” Louis started to say.

“Don’t call me Haz.” Harry interrupted bitterly.

“But...I’ve always called you Haz?”

“You’re a stranger to me now, Louis. I don’t know what to do any more. Don’t you see? It’s been a fucking year.”

“That’s not my fault. That’s managements fault. That’s the fucking fans fault. For seeing something that wasn’t there!”

That’s when Harry’s heart broke.

“Oh, it wasn’t there? None of it?”

Louis huffed. “For fuck’s sake, Harry. Just listen to me.”

“I have waited longer than a year to just listen to you! But you never did. You never said a fucking word. I have never stopped being who I am, and I never will. I can’t change, and I won’t change for anyone. But you have. You all have.”

“You don’t understand what it is like to be me!” Louis cried out, exhausted. He rolled the sleeves of his jumper up, revealing his tattoo’s that he swore years ago he would never get.

“No, Louis. No. You don’t know what it’s like to be me. To sit and wait like a fucking idiot for your band mates to come back to you. To wake up in the morning and to read another shit rumour about yourself. To not have any friends because you don’t know who you can trust anymore!”

Louis went to reply to Harry’s outburst but he was stopped.

“I am fed up of waiting, Louis! I am fed up of being me. Because it is never good enough! I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what to say. I am watching as everyone changes around me, and I can’t do a fucking thing, because why should I? But no one takes a second to check in on me. No one cares to see if I’m fine, because they assume I am. But you know what, Louis. I’m not fine. I’m not okay. I’m really not. But just...go...you don’t give a shit and it’s clear you never did. So just go. Please.”

Louis sat, open mouthed. Confused. Not knowing what to do. His eyes stung. It was like listening to someone he didn’t even know. Because now he saw it. The Harry Styles that Harry had wanted everyone to see for so long. The broken Harry. The Harry that was not okay, but pretended to be because he cared about everyone else so much more than himself. The Harry that really hasn’t changed, and has watched his friends fall victim to the pressures of fame and money. The Harry that just wanted his four boys back.

“Harry, I...”

“Just go,” Harry now whispered, eyes squeezed tight.

“I...”

“Go.”

Louis got up silently. With every tiny move he made towards the door he watched his best friend as he shivered on his bed. Louis knew he was trying not to cry, because that’s just what Harry Styles did. He didn’t like to cry in front of people.

Louis watched him until the very last moment, when he clicked the door shut. And as soon as it was, he heard the younger boy take a deep, shuddered breath, before he began bawling.

“Hey, Loubear,” a happy girlish voice smiled. He turned, and in front of him stood a smiling Eleanor. Hair wavy and brown eyes pretty.

“Hey,” he attempted to smile back, voice husky.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” He lied.

“’Juno’s on TV, come watch it with me?”

He followed his girlfriend into their room, and got into bed obediently.

The film blurred in front of his eyes, Eleanor arm across his stomach made him feel numb. This wasn’t right. It never was.

She slept peacefully, and never felt her boyfriend slip away from her a couple of hours after the credits began to roll.

Louis padded across the house towards the room he occupied earlier that day. He creaked the door open, half expecting the boy inside to still be awake. He wasn’t. He was asleep, fully clothed on top of his bed.

With a pounding heart Louis approached the bed. So quiet and with the smallest of movements he joined the long limbed boy. He snaked an arm around the boys stomach, and nestled his face in the crook of his neck. And that is when he wept.

Hot tears spilt onto Harry’s skin. His eyes fluttered open at the unfamiliar sensation, but didn’t move an inch.

“You never changed a bit, Harry Styles.” Louis whispered with shaking breath. “And I’m sorry.”

Still Harry didn’t move a muscle. With no emotion on his face he listened to his band mate cry.

And, with Louis still believing Harry couldn’t hear, he whispered into the boy’s ear, “And I love you.”

Harry’s broken heart shattered into a million other pieces. Not even a doctor could reconstruct the tiny fragments that were now his heart.

It was ten times worse. But somehow a hundred times better.

“I needed to say that,” Louis sniffed. “I’ve needed to say that for a year.”

It was quiet then. Peacefully so as Louis cuddled up to what he believed to be a sleeping Styles.

An hour later, when the clock was well past midnight, a still awake Harry whispered, “I love you too.”

A still awake Louis smiled.

Neither of them changed.

———————————————————————————————————

It was the middle of the night, and Harry slept with a smile on his face. Today had been nice. Confusing, but nice. He’d woken up to the sight of his best friend lying next to him, and had spent the whole day walking through London, accidentally hand in hand. They laughed and smiled as if the past few days hadn’t happened. And Louis’ smile was true. Harry could tell the difference. Louis really was okay, or at least starting to get okay. Some things Harry still didn’t understand, and the idea that Louis really was going to jump still disturbed him. But the fact was, he didn’t jump, and the boy was alive and well, across the corridor, sound asleep in his own bed.

Yes, Louis was going to be okay. And things were going up a level. A level that neither Harry nor Louis realised was there...a relationship...

Diana stood, watching the boy sleep. Her own smile matched that of his. In a way she knew her time with Louis was coming to a close, but in some ways she knew that something drastic was about to happen. Because neither of the boys knew of the picture that was floating around the internet, and currently being printed in the newspapers, and being reblogged on websites. They would receive backlash. They were barely in a relationship, and didn’t fully understand anything themselves, but already the world was taking sides. Celebration from people who were finally happy the day had arrived. The day where they could yell that ‘Larry’ was real. And then there was the rest of the 98%. The media and the parents and the Religious freaks. It was sick, they would say. Two boy band members flaunting their newly found homosexuality. How dare they.

But for just this small while, Diana chose to ignore this, and instead looked at how happy this sleeping boy was. Because she knew at the end of the day this is what she was working towards. This was her goal, and she would not quit until it was achieved. She wanted to see both Harry and Louis smile, and she wanted them to mean it, and she wanted them to be happy for a very long time. Because they deserved it, because doesn’t everyone?

She watched him until the sun came up, she smiled until her cheeks hurt. Eventually he stirred, and she knew it was time to leave. Time for shit to hit the fan...

“Harry!” an angry voice called. “Harry! What the fuck is this?” Harry had barely opened his eyes when a red faced Niall barged into his room, laptop in hand. He thrust the heavy object onto Harry’s lap, and joined him on the bed.

“What?” Harry asked, still sleepy as he rubbed his eyes.

“This!” Niall jabbed his finger at the screen. “What is this? Is it true?”

That is when Harry’s heart started beating at a worrying rate.

“Wha – how? What is this? How did you find this?”

“It’s everywhere,” Niall stated, slightly calmer although clearly still furious.

“E-everywhere?”

“Everywhere, Harry. No explain it. Fucking explain this whole thing now. Is it true?”

“True? What true?”

“You and Louis. Everything is saying you’re together. Like, together together. Not just in a funny way. But for reals. Is it true? Are you and Louis really...really...like...doing stuff?”

Harry’s face went bright red. Embarrassment, mostly. But also anger. How dare someone invade his and Louis’ space like that! How dare they put it on the internet for everyone to see. Harry sat staring at the computer for a few seconds longer before slamming the screen down in rage.

“Harry? Answer me!” Niall said impatiently. Harry was sat, arms folded and lips pursed. Usually it was a funny sight, as he looked like a stropping toddler. But it was anything but funny. The fire in Harry’s eyes told Niall just exactly what Harry was thinking.

“It is true, isn’t it Harry? How long? And why? Why do that?”

“You don’t understand anything Niall.” Harry said, his voice low and husky.

“But why? You and Louis, I always thought it was a joke. I didn’t think that...”

“Go on then, Niall,” Harry said. “Call me it.”

“Call you what?” Niall asked, a little scared now.

“Come on. Call me a fag. A homo. Give me everything you got. I know you’re thinking it.”

“Harry...I’m not mad...well I am but...not about this. Not about the fact you two are really together or anything but...why didn’t you tell me? Well, not just me, but us? We would have kept it a secret...fuck is this why Louis’ been acting weird? Is that why he got drunk? Is that why-“

“Niall! Just shut up for a minute will you?” Harry yelled, massaging his forehead. He wasn’t prepared for this. And in his still somewhat sleepy state he still couldn’t really process what had actually just happened.

“Harry! Harry! Have you seen? Fuck, this isn’t-” Louis came bursting into the room, but fell silent when he saw Niall there too. The eldest boy went bright red as he stared Niall in the face, detecting any sign of emotion.

“How long?” Niall asked calmly, hoping more sense would be made from Louis.

“What?”

“How long?” Niall repeated, “Have you two been having this fucking affair?” it sounded rude, but Louis knew Niall didn’t really mean it.

“A day,” Louis said. “A fucking day. Less than that. It’s not even a fucking affair. It’s a...it’s a...”

“We don’t know,” Harry said, sounding exhausted. “We don’t even know what this is. And now the world has fucking ruined it. They’ve ruined everything. They’ve ruined us! What will Simon say? No one was meant to know. Fuck even we don’t know. WE DON’T KNOW! We don’t even FUCKING know what this is.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Niall asked, so very confused.

“Harry and I...we’ve never done anything. We’ve never...been together, or thought about it, or spoke about it. I never even knew I liked him until yesterday, and even now we still don’t know exactly what to do. We kissed yesterday, and accidentally held hands. That was it. We wanted to see how things went. What would happen, how we felt. If this was all real. Because it’s not easy, you know?”

Niall looked confused, but also sad. “You guys have kissed?”

“That’s all you got from that?”

“No...no...Louis I mean. You must understand this is weird for me. Because the whole internet, the news the websites. They say things, Lou. Disgusting things. Graphic, rude and just...like...Lou, Harry. I know you guys have never been normal. Like seriously, all this stuff on the internet isn’t hard to believe because...seriously...you guys can’t take your eyes off of one another in interviews. And now this picture it’s like...it’s like its confirmed to the whole world that you two...are real.”

“Are you mad?” Harry almost said in a whisper, looking to Niall with a tear in his eye.

Niall’s heart melted. “Harry...Harry no of course not. I couldn’t care less about you guys. But...this isn’t good,” he indicated to his laptop. “What people say, it’s not good. You guys are gonna get hurt. I mean, jeez, we’re all gonna get hurt. But it’s not your fault. But...things are gonna be shit for a while, you get me?”

Harry nodded, while Louis just looked at the floor. Niall felt like it was his time to leave. Before closing the door he said, “Liam’s ringing management. It’ll get sorted. Just...be careful.” And then he left the two boys on their own.

“Lou,” Harry barely squeaked before flinging himself out of bed and engulfing himself in Louis’ hug. “What are we going to do?” he whispered into Louis’ bare chest.

“I don’t know,” Louis whispered back, broken and humiliated.

“I thought things would get better, be okay. Once I realised what I was missing. Why I felt this huge hole. Once I realised how much I love you I thought nothing would ever hurt me again.”

And from all that all Louis could say in reply was, “Harry, I love you too.”

“Louis, I’m sorry.” A different voice said. Louis looked up from over Harry’s shoulder to see Diana with a sad face. “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” Louis asked, breaking away from Harry to speak to Diana properly.

“Lou, who are you talking to?” Harry asked, looking from Louis to the spot that Louis was staring at.

Diana nodded to Louis. “It’s time,” she repeated again.

“A friend.” Louis said, turning to Harry.

“Lou?” Harry said again, in such confusion, looking broken hearted and scared.

“I’m Diana.” Diana said, offering a smile. Harry blinked, and then saw her for the first time. Her blond hair, and scary blue eyes. Deathly pale skin and white lips.

“What?” Harry asked, voice weak.

“I’m Diana,” she repeated. “I’m a friend. Don’t worry. I’m the one who’s been looking after Louis. The one who saved him that night he would have jumped. I can tell you think you’re crazy. As, after all I have just appeared to you from nowhere. But, Harry. I have been here the whole time, but only Louis could see me. I’m dead, Harry. But don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you. I’m a ghost but I save people. People like Louis who almost lost the will to live.”

“What the fuck?” Harry questioned, still in disbelief.

“I told you if I told you the true you’d think I was crazy,” Louis said.

“Are you serious? Is this serious?” Harry asked, looking from the boy to the girl in front of him.

“Deadly,” Diana replied, before laughing at her unintentional joke. Both boys just stared at her.

“Listen boys. Things are going to be hard. But I can see that it’s going to be okay. Just stand by one another, be strong, and be safe. You need to take that final step of realisation. Admit to yourselves that what you really need is one another. That the reason you have both felt so lost for so long is because what you desire is right before your eyes, but it is something you believed you could not have. But I am here to say, do not listen to those that speculate, and dismiss, and shame you. They are not worth your time, and they will not make you happy. Stand by one another, and the rest of your boys too. Your family, your friends, and each other. That is what you need to be happy.”

“You’re not going are you?” Louis asked, suddenly worried as for why Diana was doing this speech now.

“No,” she smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back. But perhaps not for a while. I don’t want to distract things. Be strong, and Harry, it was so nice to finally meet you.” And with that, she vanished.

“Did that really just happened?” Harry asked, eyes still on the spot where this dead girl had just disappeared.

“Yeah. It really did. See now why I wouldn’t tell you?”

“Yeah, that was pretty weird.”

They stood in silence, Louis thinking over what Diana had just said, and Harry still trying to believe that a moment ago a dead girl was in his bedroom.

Their silence was rudely interrupted.

“Guys, shits going down. Management have called a meeting.” Liam had burst through the door, hair wild and still in his pyjamas. He caught his breath, and gave them a brisk nod before slamming the door shut.

Louis turned to Harry, and noticed the panic in his eyes.

“You’re not scared?” Harry asked, looking into Louis’ eyes.

Louis smiled, cupping the boy’s cheek. “Of course. But, as batshit crazy as she is, I believe her. We’ll be okay. Because Harry, I love you. And I will do anything to be with you. And before I was scared about what people would say. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what the boys say, or what my parents say, or what the fans fucking say. I want you, Harry Styles. I have for a long time. So don’t be scared.” Louis gave his boy a smile, with tears in his own eyes.

Harry didn’t say a word, but instead slammed his mouth onto Louis’. It was hot, and wet. Tongues meeting and lips bitten. Harry pulled at Louis’ hair. Each boy tasting the salt of each other’s tears. Eventually they pulled apart, out of breath.

“What was that for?” Louis asked, amazed.

“In case I never get to do it again,” Harry replied seriously, fingers still tangled in Louis’ hair.

A cough was heard from the doorway. The two boys turned to see the other three boys of the household stood watching them. Niall bright red, Zayn gobsmacked and Liam with panic in his eyes.

——————————————————————————————————

“So, party tonight at yours then, Styles?”

It was 3:30, and so far Harry had managed to spend the whole day not talking to a single student, and was perfectly happy with that. But as Harry was rushing to the school doors, Bert Brooks pulled him to one side, grip fierce on his shoulder.

“Looks like it.” Harry muttered, not making eye contact.

“Look at me,” Bert demanded, shaking Harry violently, “you get in between your sister and me, I’ll get you. Do you understand me? I don’t care what you think of me. Your sister and I? We have something special. So if you see us sneaking up to her bedroom, or to the garden, or hell, even the closet, you say nothing. Get it?”

“Yeah, sure.” Harry just agreed, not even caring what Bert was saying, instead was fixating on the pain in his shoulder where Bert’s grip lay.

“Good.” Bert grinned sarcastically. He finally released his grip, and just before walking off slapped Harry clear around the face. “Just in case.” He shrugged and walked away, laughing cruelly.

Harry just glared at him, rubbing the red mark on his cheek.

Normally he would take his sweet time walking home, but he knew that if he took longer than 20 minutes getting home Robin would throw a fit.

So he quickened his pace, sending a text to Louis saying he was looking forward to seeing him tonight, even if it was only going to be for a bit.

When he was near his house, Louis texted back.

‘You could always stay tonight? XX’

Harry’s heart fluttered, knowing that Robin and his Mum would be too drunk by the end of the night to realise Harry had gone. And Gemma couldn’t care less either way.

So, Harry responded with a simple okay, trying to play it cool.

He was barely halfway up the path when, to his surprise, Gemma flung the door open. Her hair was already in curlers, with a pore strip on her nose.

“Get in here and get ready now! Before you make Dad worse.” She pulled him inside, and there he saw the entrance hall looking spectacular with silver and gold decorations surrounding every surface they could touch. Bouquets of flowers stood in every corner of the room, and the staff were rushing this way and that, polishing everything they saw. The ice sculpture, Harry noted wasn’t out yet.

“Get this bloody floor done! I want to be able to see my face in this floor after its been polished!” He heard Robin shout. Harry grimaced, feeling sorry for whoever he was shouting at, but was glad that for a change it wasn’t him.

“Get upstairs and out of the way.” Gemma hissed in his ear, going upstairs herself to her own room. Harry didn’t argue, and followed her up and moving away from the hassle in the foyer.

Harry took his time to shower, knowing that the party didn’t start until 7, and that most people wouldn’t be turning up until around half past anyway.

Someone had laid out an outfit for him, the usual crisp white shirt and black trousers, with a black bowtie. He hated the outfit, but began dressing himself anyway once his hair had dried a little. Looking in the mirror he felt that he appeared different to the way he looked at Bert’s dinner in September. His trousers didn’t hang loose around his hips, and his shirt seemed to fit just a tiny bit better around his chest. The sleeves, however, still engulfed his hands, but rather than ignore it, he rolled the arms of his shirt up to his elbows, deciding it looked much cooler, and made him actually appear his seventeen years of age, as opposed to twelve.

He fiddled with the bowtie again, wishing Tobias would enter and do it for him like he had before. And just like that, there was a knock at the door.

“Mr. Styles?” Tobias asked, peeking cautiously around the door.

“Come in, Tobias.” Harry smiled warmly. The butler entered, looking the young boy up and down.

“Still struggling with that bowtie I see,” the butlers grey eyes shined, “here, let me.”

Once again, Harry allowed him to finish his outfit. Tobias brushed his shoulders and held him at arm’s length. “You look so grown up, Mr. Styles. So much more so than earlier this year.”

“I feel it too.” Harry agreed. “How’s the decorating getting on downstairs?”

“Mostly finished as far as I am aware. It is just the catering that needs to be completed.” Tobias moved to the door ready to leave. “The waiting staff have also just arrived.” He added before leaving Harry alone.

His eyes went wide. Louis was in the house...at the same time as his parents. Of course they had no clue who he was, nor that for the last couple of months he had been messing around with Harry, but all the same his heart began to thud.

Should he go down now? Should he wait? Checking the time Harry noted it was only 6, and there was still an hour to go until the party started. Or, in other words, there was only an hour to go until Louis and Harry could sneak off without being seen.

He paced his room, running a hand through his still slightly damp hair. Finally, at 6:15 he decided to brave it, and he exited his room.

Downstairs was now quiet, asides from the staff chatting amongst themselves waiting for the party to begin. They quickly fell silent as Harry appeared from the top of the stairs. Awkwardly he descended, realising he was the first of his family to appear. After deciding it was okay to do so, the staff resumed their conversations. Harry scanned the entrance hall, looking for that one familiar face, and finally he found him, coming back through the house from the garden.

“Hey.” Harry said casually, meeting Louis in the corner of the room.

“Hey.” Louis repeated, not daring to kiss the boy with all of the staff around. He smelt like cigarettes, but Harry didn’t mind. In fact he wanted his own one, but knew that tonight of all nights he would never get a chance to have one.

“So, I get a break at 8, and at 9:30, and I finish at 11.” Louis confirmed, glancing around to make sure no one was looking.

“Sounds good. There’s a coat closet at the back of the house, by the bar. I’ll meet you there on your breaks.”

“How do we go about leaving, once it’s all over?”

“I’ll go to my room, grab some stuff, and meet you out front. I’ll go out through the garden and then sneak around the side of the house. Just so the staff still clearing up won’t see.”

“Sounds good…you look stupidly attractive with the sleeves of your shirt rolled up. What are you trying to do to me? …shit, your family’s coming down. Grab a glass and walk away.” Louis picked up his tray of champagne and Harry grabbed one, walking away sharply.

“A glass of champagne already, really dear?” Anne questioned, looking at said glass in Harry’s hand.

Harry just shrugged and waited for the torture to begin.

Louis came over and offered Gemma champagne, staring her in the eyes as if to challenge her. She snatched a glass, and glared at him.

“You’re lucky he’s attractive,” Gemma hissed to Harry, loud enough for Louis to also hear, “if he wasn’t I’d tell Mum and Dad in a heartbeat.” She stormed off, leaving Louis smiling to himself.

“What?” Harry whispered.

“I like her.” Was all Louis said before wandering off.

-

Surprisingly Harry didn’t seem to be having as bad a time as he thought. The party was in full swing, and according to Harry’s watch Louis should be going on his second break in 2 minutes. He was stood awkwardly with Gemma, Bert, and Bert’s parents. Heaven knows how he’d managed to get himself in this situation, but Harry wanted out. Bert kept an arm around Gemma’s waist as he told his parents of the jokes him and Harry would tell one another at school, and took great joy in punching Harry in the shoulder playfully at every given moment. Harry just grinned and bared it, finding ways of escape.

He downed the glass of champagne he had in his hand and exclaimed, “Oh dear, I’ve finished my glass. I’ll have to go and get another.”

Bert’s parents looked at him, as if remembering that he was there, and stated, “Oh there’s a tray just coming around now?”

But Harry had already sped off, his sister eyeing him suspiciously.

Right on cue, Louis was by the closet, and opened it immediately when he saw Harry rounding the corner.

“Quickly,” he said, pulling Harry in with him, “I saw a couple back here a minute ago. They might come back.” He shut the door behind them, and even in complete darkness Louis managed to find the younger boys lips, and five minutes later, his zipper. The moment his fingers brushed the metal zip, the door swung open. There stood an elderly couple, completely in shock to find two boys in the coat closet.

Thinking fast, Louis began rummaging through the coat rack, “I’m sorry, Mr. Styles, I just can’t seem to find your coat anywhere. It really must have gone missing.” He turned his attention to the grey haired couple, “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Actually, we were just looking for the toilets?”

“Right down the end of the corridor, on the left hand side.” Louis charmed, ignoring Harry’s scarlet red face and deer-in-headlight eyes.

They slammed the door behind them without a thank you, leaving the two boys in pitch darkness. Harry stood still, shocked to the core. Louis, on the other hand began snorting with laughter. “I think we got away with that.”

After Harry had gained his composure he too started laughing. “It’s fine. They’re Mr and Mrs Hound. She’s as blind as a bat, and he has the worst memory in the world. I doubt either of them knew what just happened.”

“Good,” Louis said through the darkness, “now where was I?”

He found Harry again, and resumed his position of lips on Harry’s, and hand on zipper. “I only have five minutes, can you be quick?”

“You know I can.” Harry laughed. But rather than finish him with his hand, Harry groaned in satisfaction when Louis dropped to his knees. He didn’t need five minutes, only three.

-

The night was over, and as promised Harry met Louis at the front of the house. He had a small bag with him, with two pairs of boxers, deodorant, and a couple of clean T-shirts. Both boys were still dressed in their formal attire, but they didn’t complain. Harry wasn’t used to seeing Louis look so well dressed, and as Louis stated earlier, Harry looked hot with his sleeves rolled up.

“Ready?” Louis asked, opening the passenger door seat for Harry to slide in.

“Definitely.” Harry replied, taking his usual spot in Louis’ car.

The drive was silent yet peaceful. Both boys were tired after not only the busy evening they’d had, but the very tiresome week they’d had too. Their lips and cocks were rubbed raw, and in all honesty Harry couldn’t wait to just snuggle up with Louis’ arms around him.

Which luckily was all Louis wanted too. He yawned as they pulled into the driveway of his house. Only one light was on, and as they entered the house they saw Niall and Zayn on the sofa watching a film which, by the looks of things had a lot of blood and gore.

“Nice evening, Lou?” Zayn called out, turning around. He looked surprised at Harry standing next to Louis, but looked happy too. “Hey, Harry. I didn’t realise you were coming over. Wanna watch the film?”

“Nah, mate, we’re both knackered.” Louis answered for them both.

Niall turned around also. “Harry, you staying over?” Harry just nodded, suddenly shy. Niall grinned at this, while Zayn groaned, but not unkindly.

“Just, please be quiet. The walls are so thin. Liam’s already asleep but you know what he gets like if he hears anything.”

Harry blushed, whereas Louis laughed. “No need to worry mate. Like I said, we’re knackered.” Louis closed the door to the living room and turned to Harry.

“Bedtime?” Louis smiled, taking Harry’s hand in his own. A nod was Harry’s response before Louis led the younger boy upstairs.

His heart pounded. He was excited, and nervous. And he wasn’t entirely sure what would come out of tonight. What would Louis expect? He was probably use to getting his way. And Harry was so scared Louis would expect it from him.

They entered Louis’ bedroom, the door shut behind them. This was it. Or so Harry thought.

Louis turned to Harry, their bodies so close. Without even a word having to be said Louis bent down and captured Harry’s lips in his own. Their tongues touched delicately. They tasted of smoke and champagne. Louis’ hands found their way to Harry’s hips, and he pulled the boy in closer. Crushing him against his body.

“You’re perfect, Harry Styles.” Louis whispered, placing his forehead on the younger boy he held so close. Green eyes looked up, big and innocent. “You’ll always be perfect to me. No matter what. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’ll never pressure you into anything. Okay? Now let’s get in bed before I freeze my bollocks off.” Louis smiled and pulled away from Harry, removing his shirt and trousers and pulling a T-shirt over his naked torso.

Harry did the same. In his mind he was thinking about how Louis could have possibly known what he was thinking. Was he really that obvious? And then Harry realised that no, he wasn’t easy to read. It was only that Louis knew him so much that he could read the silence, and read the emotions. It’s not that he knew Harry that well, because in all honestly, he didn’t. It’s just that he cared for the boy so much he could detect any sign of anxiety in him.

Harry smiled to himself, watching as Louis quite literally jumped into bed, rolling himself up in the duvet. “Come on, Harry!” Louis whined, wishing for the boy to be next to him.

Harry took a deep breath, settling his thumping heart, and joined Louis in bed. The older boy wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him close. Protecting him from nightmares.

“Goodnight, Harry.” Louis yawned, kissing the boys shoulder. Harry pulled Louis’ arms tighter around himself in response.

Everything was perfect. The silence, and the gentle breathing of the two boys. They didn’t really want to talk. They just wanted to be with one another, cuddled close. Knowing that when they wake up they’ll be in one another’s arms. It was peaceful. And despite the silence, and the stillness, it was the happiest Harry had been in a very long time.

-

When Harry first opened his eyes that morning he had forgotten who lay beside him. With a groan he stretched his arms out, one of his hands accidently colliding with a soft head of hair.

“Owww.” Louis’ sleepily moaned, turning over to face the boy. His eyes opened only slightly, the ocean blue colour was gentle, almost misty. “There are nicer ways of waking someone up.” he said, his mouth forming in a lazy lopsided smile.

Harry blushed in response. “Sorry.” Although he smiled all the same.

“What’s the time?” Louis yawned, sitting up slightly in the bed and ruffling a hand through his messy brown mane. Harry grabbed his phone from the floor, squinting as it lit up.

“9:25,” he answered, putting his phone back and nestling back down into the covers.

Louis rolled over acting as big spoon, snaking his arms over the skinny torso of the other boy.

“Wake up then, Princess. We have a full day ahead of us.” He grinned widely and hopped out of bed with sudden enthusiasm. Harry groaned but sat upright anyway, watching as Louis flung the curtains open.

“Why are you so chirpy this morning?” Harry asked, his green eyes half shut because of the sunlight streaming through the window.

“Well, waking up next to you is a great start to the day,” Louis grinned. “Now, excuse me, I really need to go for a wee.”

“So, tonight. Have any plans?” Louis asked after coming back from the bathroom.

“No, why?”

“Party at mine? You don’t have to. I just thought it would be quite nice seeing as you know the boys a bit better now. And if you could really get away with it, spend another night?” Louis got back into bed, pulling Harry in closer.

Harry chewed his lip in thought. Two nights in a row with Louis. It was so tempting…

“You can say no.” Louis stated, seeing how anxious Harry looked.

“No!” Harry interrupted. “No…no I’ll come. I’ll come. It’ll be fun, right?”

“It’ll be immense,” Louis smiled. “Now, fancy some toast?”

-

“Harry!” Niall called from the doorway of their house. With arms wide he ran down the paved pathway and engulfed the boy in a hug.

“It’s so cool that you came. Like, seriously. You’re so much fun, buddy. Here, gimme your stuff. I’ll dump it in Louis’ room. Beer and shits on the kitchen table. And if you wanna smoke Zayn and I keep all our packs in the freezer. Stops people from nicking ‘em. But you’re more than welcome.” He gave Harry a wink, and Louis a quick grin before running in the house and up the stairs.

Harry was the first one there. Louis had dropped him home just after breakfast, telling him it was probably best if he showed his face to his parents so they didn’t get suspicious. Not that they really cared, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

“I’m just going to run upstairs and change. I’ll be five minutes I promise. Zayn’s in the kitchen, ‘kay?” Louis kissed Harry on the lips, full of love and ran up the stairs. Once he was left in the hallway Harry went to remove his shoes, but after glancing at the floor thought better of it. Not that the house was extremely disgusting, but he would prefer for his feet to not be covered in tobacco, fluff, and orange juice.

“Harry mate, you alright?” Zayn said from the kitchen doorway. He was stood leaning against the frame, arms crossed with a smile on his face. Harry smiled politely back, glad to notice his heart didn’t pound with nervousness. He really was becoming more comfortable around them.

He joined Zayn in the kitchen, allowing the boy to pop the cap off of a beer bottle for him.

“So, how are you?” Harry asked, watching as a water droplet ran down the neck of his beer.

“Yeah I’m good mate. Been at work and shit today, but it’s alright. It’s money, right? Although I don’t suppose you have to worry about that?” Zayn laughed, meaning no offence by what he said.

Harry smiled shyly back. “I’m not proud of it,” he said.

“Hey,” Zayn said, looking Harry truthfully in the eyes, “don’t be embarrassed about it. If anything we should be embarrassed by the shit hole we live in! It’s cool with us, Harry, yeah? We know you’re not a snob or anything. We think you’re wicked. Don’t listen to what anyone has to say about you, alright? No matter who they are or where they come from, they don’t have the right to judge you. We think you’re fucking brilliant, and if you make our Lou happy then you make us all happy. Yeah?” He gave a genuine smile, which Harry returned thankfully.

“Alright boys?” Louis said, making his entrance known. He grabbed a bottle and popped the cap. Harry peered through his lashes at his partner. The boy was wearing tight black jeans with rips around the knees, and a simple grey t-shirt. He looked fucking sexy, and Harry had to look away to stop himself from blushing.

-

Two hours later the party was in full swing. Niall as always was a fun nightmare, running around and annoying anyone who caught his eye. Liam and Zayn were chatting intensely with some others in the living room. And Louis was tight by Harry’s side, an arm always around his waist to show everyone else that this curly haired little fucking God was his. 

Harry suspected that the dominance started ever since one girl arrive and asked with a husky voice, “Hey, Louis. Who’s your friend?”

To which Louis replied, “Harry. And he’s more than a friend so keep your fucking hands off.” Where she then strutted off, a disappointed snarl on her face.

Harry had to admit he’d seen many eyes on him tonight. Mostly girls, although some guys too had also given him a wink. It made him nervous. He wasn’t use to such attention, and was thankful of Louis’ strong arms constantly at his side. He was proud too, because every time one of these girls would spot the two together they would open their mouth in shock, or roll their eyes in anger.

“Have you seen that boy Louis’ with? He’s hot, right? Shame he’s gay. I would fuck him, no question.”

“He’s called Harry apparently. Goes to that posh twat school up the hill.”

“Fuck me, Tomlinson scored big with that one, right?”

“Nearly five years younger though.”

“That’s pretty fucking hot.”

People whispered about them all night. Some recognised Harry from the barn party too, and kept a close eye on him, keen to know about the strange boy.

“Hey, Harry. I have to pee real quick. Wait here with Zayn, yeah?” Louis gave Harry a kiss and a squeeze before entering the house, leaving Harry outside with Zayn and some others who were all smoking. Harry watched the smoke curl around their faces, and realised how small and pathetic he looked without a cigarette in hand.

He caught Zayn’s eye. “You mind?” He asked.

Zayn said no word, and handed him the packet and lighter.

“Ohh, so the posh kid smokes?” One of the boys that Zayn stood with remarked.

“Hey, Dave. Enough of that. Harry’s alright, leave him alone.”

“Sorry man.” This Dave said more to Harry than Zayn. “Can’t help but pre-judge you know? No one from that school is seen around here. They’d have seven shades of shit beaten out of them if they did.” He saw the way Harry flinched at this and quickly stated, “But don’t worry little man. You’re safe. Besides, if Tomlinson’s with you, you must be a pretty sick kid.”

Harry just nodded, sucking on his cigarette as if it were second nature. He caught Zayn smile at him reassuringly. He really was safe with these boys, he knew it.

“Harry, you’re smoking again?” He heard a voice from behind him.

Harry sighed and turned towards Louis. “I just do it when I drink, like you.” He said just quiet enough for only Louis to hear. Louis huffed and snatched the packet away, but rather than throw them to the ground he pulled out his own cigarette and lit it hastily.

“You’re a little shit.” Louis said, but kissed him anyway.

“Alright?” Dave said, giving a brief nod to Louis.

“Alright.” Louis said back, one hand back around Harry’s waist, and the other rose to his mouth as he took a pull.

“Just had a chat with Stan,” Dave said, a mysterious glint in his eye, “said he’s got some good stuff in his pockets. Didn’t know whether you and your mate were interested?”

Harry’s heart pounded. There could only be one thing this Dave was talking about…and it wasn’t sweets.

“We’re not,” Louis harshly responded, “I don’t do shit like that anymore, you know that.”

Dave shrugged, “Alright man. Just thought with your new mate you might want to teach him some fun. Don’t suppose you do our sort of fun back home, do you?” Dave directed the question at Harry.

Harry just shook his head, shrinking only slightly into Louis’ smaller frame.

“Well, Harry doesn’t do that sort of fun, alright mate? No offence. Just don’t wanna introduce him to that shit.”

“Sorry, Lou. Didn’t mean to cause this. Didn’t realise you were a prude now.”

“I’m not a fucking prude, Dave. I’m just not an idiot. Now leave it.” Louis stood his ground, and it was Dave who walked off with a shrug. “Sorry about that, Haz. Not everyone’s as cool as the boys.” Louis said, eyes watching Dave as he walked back into the house.

“I-it’s cool, Lou. Don’t worry.” Harry replied, taking a shaky pull of his smoke.

“Promise me something?” Louis said, finally turning towards Harry. “And I mean seriously promise.”

“Anything?”

“Never, ever get involved with cunts like him. He’s trouble.”

“I promise, Lou.”

“Good. Now put your fucking smoke out and let’s get another drink.”

-

The two boys were rudely interrupted by their dreams by Louis’ alarm clock blaring in their ears.

“Shit, sorry Haz,” Louis said, reaching over and slamming the clock. “I have to have it loud or else I won’t wake up.”

Harry giggled sleepily and sat upright, his hair an absolute mess. “I don’t wanna move,” he moaned as he rubbed his eyes.

Louis smiled at the bundle of cuteness by his side, but slapped the boy’s chest all the same. “Come on you shit, I have work in half an hour.”

Harry groaned but rolled out of bed anyway…and directly onto the floor. He landed with a thump. Louis laughed and pulled the boy up. “Come on. You’re stuff’s here. Have a shower if you want, no one else will be up this early.”

Ten minutes later Harry was dressed, hair still damp and messy. He sat grumbling to himself over the kitchen table, glass of water in hand.

“You can’t seriously be feeling that bad?” Louis laughed, watching as the boy smiled at him sarcastically in response.

“I feel rubbish,” Harry said. “And my throat hurts.”

“Well, that’ll teach you for smoking. Seriously, it’s stupid. Your bag’s upstairs, right?” Harry just nodded. Louis left the room to go and get it, leaving Harry on his own.

He listened to Louis’ footsteps as he ran up the stairs. “I can smoke if I want to smoke.” Harry mumbled to himself childishly. He rose from his seat and opened the freezer. As promised by Niall last night, several packets of cigarettes lay by the peas and fish fingers. He grabbed one and stuffed it foolishly into his pocket along with a lighter he found on the countertop.

“Ready?” Louis said from behind him. Harry turned around, and smiled.

“Yeah.” He walked over to Louis, took his bag and placed a kiss on the boy’s cheek.

Throughout the whole car journey Harry could feel the cardboard carton in his pocket. It almost burnt. It was such a dirty little secret that he was hiding from Louis. But he knew that it was only Louis that minded. Everyone else would think he was cool. Look at him. Harry Styles, the posh twat from up the hill, breaking all the rules by smoking. He smirked to himself. No, Louis wouldn’t be pleased at first, but he knew deep down Louis would forgive him. And he also knew, for a certain fact, that Louis’ groin twitched every time he took a pull and blew the smoke from his pink lips.

Harry was so lost in thought he didn’t realise their brief journey had come to an end. Harry glanced up at the house in front of him, and groaned with annoyance.

“Hey,” Louis said. “Stop being so grumpy. Smile for me?”

Harry gave an enthusiastic grin, making Louis chuckle.

“Tomorrow, after school?” Louis asked, interlinking Harry’s fingers with his own.

“Definitely.” Harry agreed. He kissed the older boy on the lips, deep and passionate. “Thanks for the weekend.”

“Thanks for the hand job.” Louis smirked, referring to their antics last night once they were back in Louis’ bed, even though the party was still going on downstairs.

“You’re welcome.” Harry said, offering a last kiss before hopping out of the car. He watched as Louis drove away, sighing to himself. The rest of the day lay ahead, lonely and boring. It was barely 10 o’clock, and Harry hated that he wouldn’t be seeing Louis until tomorrow evening.

Harry managed to creep back inside the house, but not without Tobias seeing him first.

“Mr. Styles?”

“Morning Tobias.” Harry croaked, trying not to give away his hangover. The cigarettes in his pocket felt heavy.

“It’s nice to have you back. Your family are out in the garden playing tennis. I can request for you to join?”

“Don’t waste your breath on them, Tobias,” Harry said cruelly, “did they notice I was gone last night?”

“Only your sister, although she didn’t seem worried.” Tobias admitted sadly. Harry just shrugged at this and told Tobias he would be in his room.

Once he was back in the comfort of his bedroom he peeked out of his window, and sure enough his three family members were playing tennis in their white shorts and polo shirts. To Harry’s disgust he noticed Bert playing with his sister, hitting the ball aggressively whenever it came towards him.

Harry scoffed, and dumped his bag on the floor. There was only one thing he wanted to do today, and that was read. He picked up the copy of The Shining that was on his bedside table and made himself comfortable on his window seat, making sure to prop the cushions up on his back.

Ten minutes later he cracked his window open, the first time he had opened it in over five years. Harry remembered vividly the last time he had opened it, as a twelve year old. He and his family were due to go on a weeklong trip to France with Bert and his parents. Harry was so distressed and nervous of the situation that he contemplated jumping. Thinking that breaking his bones on the floor below him, and spending a week in hospital would be better than a week in a villa with Bert, that is if he would have survived the fall at all.

Luckily, twelve year old pubescent Harry Styles decided against this, realising it would cause more problems that it was worth. But this time, seventeen year old Harry Styles swung it open just enough to let a gentle breeze through.

He felt for the cigarettes and lighter in his pocket, and placed one stick between his lips. It felt good, and Harry absorbed and enjoyed every pull that he took. Taking his time with the cigarette, making sure to exhale towards the open window.

In the three hours he sat there he managed five, with seven left for perhaps tomorrow or the next day. Harry was more than happy to sit there for three hours more, but Tobias called him for Sunday dinner. The boy made sure to place a cushion over the carton and lighter, hidden from plain sight. This, however, did not stop his curly hair from emitting the smell, but luckily he knew that neither one of his parents would be able to tell, because neither one of them really cared.

Monday morning approached Harry quicker than he wanted, and with a slight frost on the windows he decided to wear the schools navy jumper over his school shirt that morning. The wool warmed him, but not as much as the quick cigarette he smoked on his walk to school, making sure it was smoked and stubbed before the grand, yet boring building was in sight.

He walked up the cold steps of his school, rubbing at his red and bleary eyes. A few who recognised him as ‘quiet, shy, awkward Harry Styles’ let their eyes linger at the boy. His hair was a mess, his eyes hazy, and as he shyly asked, “Excuse me,” they noticed his voice was noticeably huskier.

What was happening to Harry Styles?

Louis Tomlinson was what was happening to Harry Styles. And people were starting to notice.