#abaeveryday

One of my favorite parent “tricks” is the use of first-then statements. Quite simply you say “first” followed by a less preferred task/activity and say “then” followed by a preferred task/activity. To begin, I’d have your “first” statements be neutral tasks/activities and work up to the more challenging/very unlikeable tasks/activities.

Here are some examples of first-then statements:

First clean up, then Legos

First reading, then coloring

First eat, then hide and seek

First brush teeth, then bubbles

First broccoli, then cookie

For older children and adults, the concept works the same but you are free to use more language:

First do your math homework and then you can play video games

First vacuum the living room and then we can make a TikTok video

First finish your homework and then I’ll drive you to your friend’s house

First-Then statements work for all ages and I often use it for my own behavior (i.e. first finish your report, then a movie). Feel free to start using first-then statements for your children (or maybe a spouse) today!

While not typically an anxious person, I’ve been feeling pretty anxious lately and  when I talk to friends and family, it sounds like they’re feeling anxious as well. When we teach children relaxation or coping skills, we like to teach them when the child is acting calm and “green” and not when they are escalated because honestly, who learns anything when they’re that upset right? Some “cool tools” that we try to teach out children and practice throughout session when they are feeling calm or “green”, include:

Taking Deep Breaths (breathe in through your nose as if you’re smelling a rose and blow out your mouth as though you're blowing out candles)

Meditation

Asking for a Break

Asking for Help

Counting to 10

Yoga/Stretches

Muscle Contraction and Relaxation

.....and many more

What works for one person will not necessarily work for another person so it’s vital that you practice a variety of “cool tools.” 

During this time of insane STRESS, it’s important to carve out some time each day to practice using our “cool tools” while we are feeling calm and “green,” not only for the children but also for ourselves! The hope is that by repeatedly practicing these “cool tools” when they are calm and “green,” children will begin to use them when they start to escalate and feel or act “yellow” as a way to prevent them from becoming over-the-top angry and engaging in maladaptive behaviors (like tantrums, aggression, throwing things, etc.). I always tell my children that it’s OK to feel angry (or feel any emotion) but it’s not OK to hurt themselves or others so we have to practice what we can do instead. 

There are tons of child-friendly apps and videos that can help.Here’s just a few to get you started:

Belly Breath with Elmo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZbzDOpylA

Stop, Breath, and Think is a free app for Older Children & Adults. There’s a children’s version for younger children as well.

Muscle Relaxation for kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDKyRpW-Yuc

Yoga for kids, teenagers, and adults: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF7O6-QabIo 

**Note that Adriene on YouTube has a great 30-day yoga challenge as well! FYI, not all of her videos are children-friendly.

Through various forum groups that I belong to, I’ve been reading that many parents feel that their children are not participating in their home school programs, leading to a lot of frustration for each family member. I wanted to issue some basic advice, which is that behavior is directly linked with motivation. When I was in my master’s program, we used to say “behavior goes where reinforcement flows.” If you’re not having success with your student learner, start by tackling motivation. 

Assuming your child can communicate with you, it could be as simple as asking them what they want to earn for completing a task (i.e. their reading, finishing their math problems, writing a page, etc.). An experienced teacher will also give additional criteria for completion....quality of written answers, time to complete assignments, accuracy of answers, etc.  Whenever possible, ensure your child knows what the assignment criteria is, before they begin the task or assignment. This way you and your learner will know if the work was done to criteria and their reinforcement (reward) is contingent on them completing their work to criteria. 

Once you’ve found a few preferred items/activities that your child wants, you may give allow your child to access them longer, or in a bigger quantity, for more effortful responses. For example, if reading is easy for them, then they may access TV for 10 minutes but if they do their math homework (which is far more difficult and time consuming for them), give them more TV time. 

In summary, evaluate your child’s motivation and feel free to reach an agreement with them pre-activity so you both know what needs to happen and to what criteria, to earn the reinforcer. Hopefully this will lead your child to do their work and avoid the stress of you having to deliver so much corrective feedback. 

My wonderful families are hopefully wondering what they can do to ensure their children do not lose their newly-acquired skills. It would be super helpful when school and ABA services begin again that the children have not regressed to pre-service levels. Here’s some simple ways you can help at home to ensure your child continues (maintains) their skills. 

Require Eye Contact

For many of my children, we began programs aimed at ensuring they use their eyes to request items or when having a social exchange. Please keep requiring this! 

Quite simply, the child will make a request and if they do not use their eyes. Say “oops, you forgot to look at me” or “nice words but you forgot to use your eyes” and do not give them access to what they have requested until their request is accompanied by eye contact. Remember that this isn’t a huge response effort for the child  so please don't feel bad for holding your child to this expectation....society will have this expectation for them for their entire lives!

Communication

You know what your child needs and wants so easily that they often don’t need to use words. You can read their body language, their vocal sounds, the pitch of their cries.....unfortunately, the average person cannot. Please hold your child to the communication requirements they had during services. This can be pointing to items (as opposed to grabbing the item), using one-word phrases, two word phrases, sentences, etc. Whatever your child is capable of, that should be the standard you hold them to. 

Tolerating Change and Delays to What They Want

As our agency has temporarily halted ABA services, due to the county’s shelter-in-place order, I’ve had several caregivers reach out to me to discuss routine. With their children not in school, and now without ABA services, the days seem long and unstructured. Routines are helpful for most people (including me) and are often a necessity for children on the Autism Spectrum. Knowing what activities are next and having this consistency in one’s day can potentially reduce problem behavior and it will certainly help the teachers and ABA professionals when the children begin school and/or services once again. I’ve put together several tips below:

Basic Advice

Try to keep your child’s sleep hours consistent. Ideally, their bed time, wake up time, and nap times should be similar to what they experience during their usual routine 

The same goes for medications. Same time of day, every day. Use alarms if needed

Keep your expectations reasonable. Although your child would normally be in school all day, they do get recess, lunch, movie times, games during class time, etc. So while learning is important, so is having fun. 

For the first day or two, try to make each activity relatively easy/preferred. Don’t start day one with numerous challenging and non-preferred activities. You want to get some momentum! During the first couple of days, although activities are preferred, still praise your child with comments like “cool being flexible,” “I love how fast you helped me do that,” “wow, you started your worksheets right away...super cool!”

Individualize Routines for Your Family

What works for one family won’t necessarily work for another family. I recommend you start by recognizing that this process is not a one-and-done process. Each day you’ll learn new ways of doing things and see what works for your family and you’ll continue making changes to the routine until it’s working well for each family member. Give yourself permission to make mistakes (it’s new and different). Feel free to try out new activities and tweak the order of your chosen activities daily. 

Focus on the Big Picture

To begin, write down your top “big picture” items that you want to focus on daily. Ideas might be exercising, reading books, being creative, etc. There are a lot of ways to learn and work on specific goals while in play or during preferred activities. This situation is a win-win because the children don’t feel like they are working and you can get a lot done.

Examples 

If your child enjoys an activity, you can give them instructions (one, two, or even three steps at a time) For example, when making play dough together you could say: “Grab the big metal bowl, put it on the table, and sit down.” 

If your child likes books, ask them questions and reward their accurate answers. For example, “who is playing dolls with sister cub?” “You're right it’s her neighbor, Sally. Nice being checked in!”

“Let’s play teacher.” First I’m going to teach you ______ and then it’s your turn to teach me something. 

It’s important to realize there are a lot of activities that can work while still ensuring your “big picture goal” is met. The more flexible you are, the more likely you and your family will be successful in finding a variety of activites and the routine won’t become stale.  

The Power of Choice

It’s important that learners get to share their ideas and have choices. If you tell them what to do all day without choice, I predict the day will not end well for either of you.

Let’s say that you want to work on doing math. To begin, you may be able to ask your child if they have an activity to suggest that will incorporate math skills. Ideas could be playing store, playing monopoly, doing a worksheet, counting flower petals, etc. 

Choices can include:

Activity (you let them choose from a few choices that you provide)

Activity Duration (should we do this for 15 minutes or 30 minutes?)

Order of Activities (do you want to work on math first or spelling first?)

Material Choice (do you want to use the purple crayon or the green crayon?)

Reinforcement (after we do math, should we play with cars or play hide and seek?)

Reinforcement (AKA reward)

You hear us in your homes when we provide ABA services and hopefully you are hearing us say positive statements and allowing the child to have cash-in’s where they get to choose whatever they want to do. Your children will still need reinforcement to get through challenging activities at home (even without ABA services or school). The size of the reinforcer should match the child’s response effort. If they worked really hard and tried their best, they should earn a larger reinforcer as compared to them tolerating an activity but not trying very hard. Likewise, they may need only a small reinforcer for doing activities that are easy for them. Small reinforcers can be social praise, small edibles (mini m&ms, raisins, etc.), tickles, a hug. Larger reinforcers can be a longer duration of time getting tickled, an activity like hide and seek, a break from work, a temporary tattoo. These will depend on your child. Make sure to ask them what they want to earn for their hard work and I’m sure they’ll have ideas :)

Flexibility

In an effort to keep this post from going too long, my last piece of advice is to build flexibility throughout the routine because it’s easy for children (and especially children on the Autism Spectrum) to become rigid. To increase flexibility, here are a few suggestions:

Write activities like “Mom’s Choice,” “Your Choice,” “Surprise Activity,” etc. and praise your child for staying calm when the activity is out of their control

Mix it up. Occasionally mix the order of activities and praise your child for being flexible.

When events happen unexpectedly (i.e. it rains before your hike, you are out of an ingredient for making play dough, the bubble machine is out of batteries), praise your child and say things like “because you are staying so calm even though the bubble machine isn’t working, you get to choose the next two activities!”

My agency is temporarily shut down in response to the COVID 19 and shelter-in-place issued by my county. The BACB (the board that credentials BCBAs) state “Section 2.0, Behavior Analysts’ Responsibility to Clients, states “Behavior analysts have a responsibility to operate in the best interest of clients.” Section 2.04(d) states: ‘Behavior analysts put the client’s care above all others …’ Section 1.04(d) of the Code makes it clear that behavior analysts must comply with legal requirements, including those related to social distancing and service provision.”