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I just got back home from the pool. It was amazing. We swam a little, but then he kissed me. I felt like a god. I was shaking from excitement. I’m so happy about how things went. We are dating now, but we decided to keep quite about it for awhile.
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AJ and I have been getting closer. Every time I think i’m going to tell him about my OCD, I chicken out. I really want him to know, but what if it scares him away. That’s the last thing I want to do. Today after school I’m taking AJ to where i write my poems. That means the pool. I’m bery nervous, but excited. I normally write when i’m done with swim practice. It’s a very special place to me and I hope he sees that.
Today while I was driving home, I ran into AJ and someone else from protesting cornor. I recognized them immediately. My heart sunk. The thought of them being together hurt. I think I really like AJ. I picked them up and dropped the girl off at home. Next stop was AJ’s house. The car ride was awkward, but good at the same time. We we got to his house he invited me inside. It felt like my heart was going to explode outside my chest. He showed me his room. This was his guitar. He played a few songs, then showed me. When he wrapped his arms around me I almost died. I wanted to kiss him so badly. When I left, i felt so good, but also relived. What if he doesn’t like me back?
Today I got officially initiated into poets cornor. AJ left me down there alone to read all the poems. There are so many. They are all so good. I was down there for hours. When I came back up, AJ was waiting for me. He forgave me for everything I did. I feel a little better, but I shouldn’t have done it in the first place.
I’ve been getting more and more distant from the crazy eights. I’ve been spending lunch with Caroline in the theatre. She’s been helping me write poems. I’m very nervous, but excited to read them aloud for the first time. Caroline said AJ will except me eventually. I hope she’s right.
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This is my new poetry book. I went to poets corner again and talked to AJ. He still seems upset but he let me stay. I got to watch everyone ready their poems. It was so beautiful. Everyone went up on this small stage with a mic and read. AJ didn’t read a poem, instead he sang a song. It was the best thing i’ve ever heard. I really like AJ, i just wished he liked me. But that’s my own fault i guess.
Caroline came over today to help me with poems. I was asking her about AJ. She said I did something to him. She won’t tell me what. I’m freaking out because i can’t remember. I’ll keep trying to figure it out.
