The drive back to my house was silent, and I hated it. I hated it because it reminded me of those early days when I was still so unsure of him, unsure of how he felt about me. I was sure that he despised me. And my eager-to-please personality just couldn’t stand it.

Now that I knew that he liked me, his silence meant something even worse: his disappointment and anger. And I hated the thought of him being even discontented by my behaviour.

“Are you really going to ignore me forever?” The question escaped me before I could process it, making him stop in his tracks as he prepared himself to storm into my house and hide in his own designated wing. But I didn’t regret it once it was out. I much preferred to have him looking at me with fire in his eyes than pretending I didn’t exist at all.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? I mean, you ignored me earlier today, when I asked you not to go out into that crowd. Why shouldn’t I give you the same treatment?” I shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to deal with the realization that he was right, that I had disrespected him.

“I’m sorry.” It felt pathetic, especially since I couldn’t raise my eyes to meet his, but it was all I had, and if anything, it was honest. But when he scoffed, I knew it wouldn’t be enough, and I started to panic as I pondered what else I could do to make him forgive me.

“I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to listen to me. Why can’t you?” I didn’t know what to answer, but he didn’t seem to need it. He was on a roll now, and I knew it wasn’t the right time, but I found myself getting tongue-tied by the way the veins of his neck jumped out now that he was releasing his anger on me.

“This is my job,” he continued. “I’m supposed to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you don’t listen to what I ask you to do. Do you know what could have happened while you were out there, in a crowd of overexcited, uncoordinated people?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you do it anyway?” He let himself fall on my couch, jaw still clenched, irritation perfectly clear in each and every one of his movements. And so I took a seat next to him, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to hopefully make this better, but I decided to start by putting a comforting hand on his thigh.

His eyes immediately followed my movement, and he stared at where I touched him for a while before raising his gaze to meet mine again. Anger had been somewhat replaced by hurt, and another sentiment I couldn’t quite identify.

“I don’t want to have to deal with your death. I can’t even bear the thought of that happening.” It was fear, I realized. Fear of losing me. And that feeling was so real, so heavy, so suffocating, that it had my own heart constricting, and I squeezed his thigh so he’d know I felt it too.

“It would be a lot of paperwork,” I tried to lighten the mood, but I knew he heard the unshed tears in my tone. They weren’t tears of fear, but of guilt. I hated that the bravest man I knew was scared, and I hated that I was the cause of it.

“Don’t even joke about that.” There was so much emotion behind his words that he had me raising my gaze to meet his, and what I saw there this time made me lose my breath. “I can’t lose you. And I don’t mean that as in I don’t want to be responsible for your death, but as in I can’t live without you.”

And suddenly I knew. He didn’t have to tell me - he was begging me not to ask him to say it, in fact. I could see that. But I knew. I knew him so well, I didn’t know how I didn’t see it before.

Maybe because I’d been so busy trying to hide my own love for him, I ignored his. It was easier that way, after all. Because it was obvious - the second we knew what the other felt, we would never be able to pretend it wasn’t there anymore.

“Kiss me,” I pleaded, and his eyes widened like he wasn’t expecting it. “Kiss me. Right now.” His eyes dropped to my lips as his opened up like he was actually tempted but just couldn’t find it in himself to do it. I’d leaned over his body now, practically on his lap, when his hands went around my torso to hold me over my lower back.

“I don’t want to kiss you,” he said, making me pout. And still, his eyes never left my lips while he licked his. “I want to knock some sense into you. Can’t be rewarding this kind of behaviour.”

His words thrilled me, sending a jolt of excitement through my body that had me actually throwing my leg on the other side of his lap so I could straddle him properly. His breath was coming out of his mouth now, his gaze undecided between my mouth or my eyes.

“Punish me in other ways,” I pleaded. He looked transfixed by what I was saying. “Make me cum until I cry. Make it hurt. Have me begging you to stop. I want to feel you for days.” He was breathing heavier now, his chest heaving with the effort to keep inhaling and exhaling because of my words.

Hotch’s P.O.V.

“Please, put me in my place.” Her words were like honey, spilling out sweet and tempting from her beautiful lips that were just inches from mine now. I wanted to reach out and touch them. I wanted to reach out and lick them, taste her words as she said them against my mouth. “I’ll be good then. I promise.”

There was only so much a man could take.

“Once I’m done with you...” I warned her, wrapping her nape with my hand and pulling her even closer. “... you won’t be able to walk.” And then I finally kissed her.

It was hungrier than I ever intended our first kiss to be, but she had made me desperate. Her sweetness only added to my need for more. Our lips danced together in a way I’d only dreamed of, and when I had to let us part to breathe, her question took away the last of my control.

“Promise?”

I carried her to her bedroom blindly, relishing in the weight of her in my arms, the feeling of her legs wrapped around my body as I managed to kiss her again the entire way there. Once she was back on her own feet, our clothes were sent flying across the room, her smaller hands trembling in excitement when she reached out to undo the buttons of my shirt.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I commented, cradling her face once her body was completely exposed to me. It prompted her to throw her arms around my neck and pull me down for another kiss, but it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more of her - I wanted all of her.

“Lay down,” I ordered. “You’re not going to succeed in making me forget this is supposed to be a punishment.” The haze of lust in her eyes betrayed just how aroused she was at the idea of suffering in my hands. “Spread that glistening little pussy for me, baby.”

Slowly, because she knew I was not a patient man, she opened her legs to show me just how wet she already was with the little we’d done that evening, her hands squeezing her own breasts as she stared up at me, throat dry and chest heaving with desire for her.

She awakened something dark in me, something I never thought I’d be able to explore. Now that she was here, ready and willing and exposed, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to just tuck it away again.

Making sure that she was watching me, I leaned over her already wet cunt and spit on it, unwilling to make this situation hurtful to her in any way, but also incapable of actually taking my time to prepare her thoroughly.

“Are you sure you really want this?” I asked, eyes connected to hers as I smeared my spit over her hole, watching her clench around nothing at the ghost of my digit. This was the last chance to back down, and although I wasn’t sure if I would actually be able to pull away if she changed her mind, I knew I needed to hear the answer.

“Yes, oh, God, Aaron, please!” The words were replaced with me pushing into her, groaning at the tightness that welcomed me hungrily. She whined out loud and I froze halfway in, scared I’d hurt her somehow, but at the lack of movement her limbs wrapped around me, her legs pushing my ass in an effort to get me to bottom out inside of her.

Her satisfied moan had me chuckling, even though I was over the moon myself. Old habits die hard, I guess, and I just had to tease her, “Oh, does that feel good?” All she could do was nod, but that was alright. We were both ready for me to start truly fucking her, and at the feeling of me almost pulling out to slam myself in again, she cried out, hands clawing at my back, hopefully leaving indentations.

“You like that, princess?” I’d only ever used the pet name before to mock her, and although there was definitely some sense of jest in my tone, there was still sweetness, wonder, infatuation. She nodded once more, mouth having fallen open after I entered her, leading me to kiss the corner of her lips instead of devouring her in the way I wished to do.

“This is what I’m gonna do every time you disobey me from now on,” I warned, changing the pace to make it harder, almost bruising even. I wanted her to be on the edge between pain and bliss, and I wanted her to forever remember who it was that brought her there.

“You think I don’t hear your moans when you lay on this bed at night and touch yourself?” Her gasp denounced her surprise, and she hid her face in the crook of my neck, holding me tighter.

“You think I don’t close my eyes and imagine it’s me making you moan, giving you pleasure?” That got her to stop hiding, gaze raising to meet mine, and I smiled, brushing the hair off her face as I took it between my hands.

“We won’t have to do that anymore, darling.” Kissing her deeply, I swallowed all of her moans before they could escape her, loving to be this connected to the woman who had stolen my heart.

“You know why?” I pulled away to catch my breath, watching her glossy eyes as she shook her head, unable to speak. “Because you’re mine now, all mine.”

Voicing my deepest desire rekindled my need, making me fuck her harder, spearing her over and over against the bed. I wanted to see the marks of our lovemaking later, the imprints of my nails, the bites all over her skin.

The thought of admiring them in the morning only spurred me on.

“Tell me you need me,” I incited, forehead glued to hers, desperate to hear the words from her own lips. “Tell me you’ll never disobey me again, never put yourself at risk dumbly.”

My voice was thick as I spoke, betraying the emotion I didn’t care to hide anymore. She smiled, hugging me to her and whispered, “worth it,” and how could I be mad?

“Again,” she ordered, and with another powerful thrust, I brought us to a release that was both blinding and revealing of some sentiments I’d struggled way too hard to keep in.

Heavy kissing followed said release. I didn’t want to catch my breath, I wanted to drown in her and this moment, forget about everything else for a while.

“I want you to be the mother of my children.” There it was, the words unspoken I couldn’t take back anymore. And instead of letting the moment fill with regret, I just got out of the bed and went to grab her a glass of water, hoping she’d forget all about it the moment I was back.

“Let’s do it.”

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