It was a tradition. Maybe one of the few ones that they could say they had forever. And though he hadnât been a member of it for almost a decade, she had been out in the water every year. Just because her mother wasnât there, just because her brother wasnât there didnât mean they could stop. She had refused to let her father not go out in fact because they needed something. He needed something to get him out and Soorin had known from the start that allowing him to sit in misery wouldnât help him get better.Â
      Maybe she hadnât done a good enough job with that. Too wrapped up in trying to pay for everything, in making sure he had the same home to come back to from the hospital, perhaps she had left him alone too long. Maybe during the day when she wasnât there her father would be tormented by everything and instead of making sure to get his mind off of it all, she allowed his heart to be burdened while she ran around, adding more weight to his already heavy conscience.Â
      She was originally going to go out alone. But then her brother had said that he wanted to get to know her better, that he wanted them to be more like brother and sister. This was hardly just her tradition, it was their familyâs tradition. So the option was given, if he wanted to. She had no desire to win, she had no desire to really race. There was something she had been meaning to do on that day which was why she was going out. And apparently he would be joining her that day.Â
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âYou are?â Junho asked, looking around the table. It was common for people to leave things behind in the club, but they had just had a business conversation and he hadnât seen anything on the table. âDid you forget to say something or did you actually forget something behind?â He asked her, unsure of what was going on on her mind.
The woman was clear and direct, so Junho had liked making conversation with her. She had saved him a lot of troubles by not engaging in pointless conversation, and that was something Junho knew to appreciate.
      Truthfully this was not her job and she needed to stop going around just offering to fix a computer. Is there a doctor in the house had somehow been replaced with is there an engineer in the house, to which her hand always shot up. But it would trouble her for the whole night if she knew she left a broken machine behind. If she was going to give away free services, she might as well get something in return but Maeum never thought about those things.Â
      She was forgetting to do something and Maeum knew it. What it was however she couldnât remember. If she could, well then she wouldnât have said she was forgetting something. It was that irritating feeling where it was right on the tip of her tongue but her mind wasnât working fast enough to bring the memory to her. And he was asking her questions which werenât helping so she put her hand up, asking silently for him to be quiet so she could think. After a few moments, she sighed as the thought came to her.Â
      â Your current POS system is glitching because itâs not equipped to handle the volume of requests you get on a night. You will need to upgrade to another or I can find a database that will allow you to store more than your current one does. â
Send â@â for a SCARED  text or starter. status: accepting  Â
[ October 2, 2015, 11:46 PM ]
Usually Soorin loved the cold. It meant that her birthday was getting closer and though she was the one that ended up having to make seaweed soup for herself because there was no one else to do it, she still enjoyed the day. She took it off every year, no matter when it fell. She would visit her mother, spend lunch with her and then spend dinner with her father. It was a nice day, a reminder that she had managed to pull through for another year. A celebration of successfully getting through another year without breaking apart and another year of taking care of her responsibilities at home. And this year it seemed like it was going to be even better. She had taken her father home for the first time in forever. For the first time, when she came back to the house she wasnât the only one there. For the first time in years, she had a reason to call out that she had returned because there was someone waiting for her to come back. And her father was always waiting.
There was nothing different that day. Her whole day had gone pretty much the same way any other day did and instead of working later, she decided to close up and come back early. As soon as she stepped into her hall, a cold draft caught her and she pulled her sweater closer. The cold never bothered her and yet for some reason it seemed to chill her. They said that there was a specific sense that people had before something bad happened. Maybe it was to warn them for what was to come, the natural fight or flight instinct telling them to run when they had the chance. And maybe she should have run but instead she brushed it off and took steps towards the apartment. Opening the door, she called out, hesitantly and for a few seconds there was nothing but silence. Everything else happened in a rush. Sh saw her father on the ground, and was completely paralyzed for a moment before she called for help, doing everything she had been taught to do in this situation. There was a pulse, he was still alive.Â
[ October 3, 2015, 3:23 AM ]
It was taking too long. She was pacing like crazy back and forth and all she could think was that it was taking them too long. Soorin didnât know what was going on inside, but that sinking feeling, the pit in her stomach, it wouldnât leave. She never contacted him. Not really. One message would go out every month when the money he sent them arrived to let him know that they received it. One message would go out during holidays to wish him a good day. They were never personal, they were never long. She wasnât looking to disturb her brother from what he was doing when she knew it was important and when she knew that already having to give up his earnings must have been a burden on his shoulders. So her fingers just tapped needlessly against the black screen.Â
But more minutes passed and she was getting anxious with each second that brought her no update. They should have been done by now. So her phone was turned on in that moment because the pit grew deeper and she needed someone to tell her that it would be okay. She needed someone to say that everything was going to be fine and that she need not worry. Soorin was strong, she could do it for herself most of the time. For yeras she had been strong for herself, been her own source of comfort. But in that moment, she couldnât do it. Her fears were taking a hold of her and she just needed reassurance from someone. Why the message went to him she didnât know. Maybe because he would understand the reason she was scared? Maybe because it of course involved him as well. Or maybe it was because she was too young when this happened to their mother but he had lived through this once before. So maybe in that moment, she really did need her big brother that knew what this was like because it was a first for her.Â
[ text â oppa ] : Appa collapsed today. The doctors said heâs in critical condition. Theyâve been inside for too long and I havenât gotten any updates about whatâs going on in the OR. He was fine just yesterday and I donât know what to do. [ text â oppa ] (unsent) : But Iâm scared. For the first time, Iâm really scared for him.
       Her movements were simple and precise. It came out of years of experience with these things and though she knew one day, she would be doing this for her father, she never thought it would be so soon. Or maybe she just hadnât expected it because of the improvement. She was supposed to look at the bright side of things. That was what everyone wanted her to do. It was why they said that he passed away instead of saying he was dead. He is no longer with us, as a way to mask the truth of the matter. He is in a better place, to mask the reality that they had no idea. She was supposed to imagine that her parents were in heaven, together. And for everything else she might say, Soorin did believe that. That they were together and they were in heaven.
       Have you thought about what we talked about? As always her thoughts got the best of her and took her away from the conversation they were having, or rather not really having. They never had conversation after all. She didnât mind it. Silence was not scary to her because there was nothing that it forced her to face. She knew that there were some that didnât like it because the silence opened up the opportunity to see the terrible things of the world that conversation masked. But Soorin already accepted the reality the way it was. So what was there to be scared of?
       Did she think about what they had talked about? Why he was pushing for change she didnât know. Did he want her to do something with her life so that he could feel like he was relieved of a burden? If she had a job, if she had something to do everyday that would guarantee money then maybe he wouldnât have to stay there and pay for her. They were all assumptions she was making that had absolutely no basis because Soorin didnât know him at all. She had no foundation for anything that she thought about her brother so chances were a lot higher that she was completely off.Â
       âI have.âÂ
        Because she did think about it. Was she going to act on it? No. Had she thought about what he said? Yes.
