The sun cast a warm glow over Riverport, reminding the small town that summer was coming and it was going to be a hot one. You, Will and Jack were seated on a small metal table under the awning of Gabrielle’s, Riverport’s favourite long-time Ice Cream Parlour. Sixties music played lazily from the building’s speakers, setting up the perfect atmosphere for friendly conversations. The general mood from the staff and families inside the building were generally happy since the Ice Cream parlour had recently been saved from bankruptcy by a new company, though you couldn’t remember the name of it; Monty Solutions, or something similar.

All in all, it should have been a marvellous day, and it would have been, if it wasn’t for the on-going tensions between the Joyce brothers. Unless things got better between Will and Jack quickly, you knew Jack would leave Riverport. That was why you’d suggested the outing in the first place; evidently it was a mistake to do so.

“Unbelievable, Will!” Jack exploded from your left, making you flinch. “Seriously, I cannot believe you.”

“As is the definition of unbelievable,” Will countered snarkily from your right.

“Asking me to give up my inheritance for you over some half-baked scheme is crazy. You won’t even tell me what it is!”

“How many times? It’s not a scheme, it’s a scientific endeavour.”

“Call it what you want. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re insane.”

“And you’re insufferable.”

Jack threw up his arms frustratedly, “Why are you even here? (Y/N), why is he here?”

Will rolled his eyes, “I could ask the same thing if it wasn’t so painfully obvious.”

Both men fell silent, turning their hard gazes to you, though Jack softened marginally. You gave an awkward half-smile, having hoped neither of the brothers would have commented on the fact you’d invited them out under false pretences. Both originally thought that it would only be you and them individually; you knew if you’d have told them the truth they wouldn’t have come.

“C’mon guys, it’s not that bad, is it?” You asked helplessly.

“Yes,” They answered simultaneously.

Will’s chair scraped against the sidewalk as he got up, “That’s it. I’m done.”

Irritated by the quick turn of events, you slammed your fist against the table, “Sit down this instant.”

Will eyed you carefully, lowering himself back into his seat. He doubted he would have done the same for anyone else, but he cared about you greatly, even if he didn’t often show it. When the Joyce brothers’ parents passed away and Jack assumed responsibility for Will, you and Paul were the only ones from Jack’s original friend group to stick around through the bad times. As such, Will had grown a sort of detached fondness for you, like you were another sibling there to settle the arguments between him and Jack when they hit a stalemate.

“I invited you both out so we could have a nice day, just like the old times. Remember when we used to come here after school and talk about whatever was bothering us? Jack, when it was your finals, Will helped you study algebra here, and Will, when those idiots in class started bullying you, Jack taught you how to throw a punch here. Now it’s your turn to sit down and stop arguing for one day for me, because this may very well be the last day we get together like this. Can you do that?”

Jack looked away sullenly, mumbling a rushed, “Yeah.”

You glanced at Will who nodded curtly, embarrassed at being reprimanded by you.

“Good. I’m going inside to order now and when I get back, I expect to find the two of you talking nicely.”

Once you’d left Jack spoke again, “Jeez, looks like we made mom mad.”

Will wrinkled his nose disgustedly, “Gross. Don’t tell me you see (Y/N) in a parental light. That is hardly appropriate.”

“What are you talking about? You’re always saying stuff like that.”

“Exactly.”

“What? Wait, you’ve lost me.”

Will sighed, hating that he had to explain the paths his mind took, as usual; he might not have been as agitated about it if he and Jack hadn’t been arguing only minutes before. All the same, he tried to explain his thought-process to Jack, “Okay, think of (Y/N)’s relationship with you like… like an egg.”

“An egg?” Jack echoed.

Will could see from Jack’s confused expression that it wasn’t the time for metaphors. “Okay, forget the egg. Long story short, (Y/N) has a crush on you, so you can’t ever make a parent joke again.”

Jack leaned back in his chair, chuckling to himself, any previous anger towards Will forgotten. “You think (Y/N) has a crush on me?”

“No. I know (Y/N) has a crush on you.”

“No offense Will, but you’re hardly good at reading people.”

“Once again, you’ve proved my point. I,” Will pointed to himself, “Can’t read social cues. It’s rare that I’m ever sure what people think or feel, so when I say I know-”

“-You know,” Jack finished thoughtfully. “Alright, I’m game. How do we prove your crazy hypothesis?”

Will looked through the parlour window to make sure you weren’t coming out any time soon. There were a few people in front of you, so he figured he had some time if he spoke as fast as his mind went. He leaned closer to Jack, “Okay. You’re basically a male chimp.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “A chimp…”

“Yes, keep up. In the wild, male chimps show their interest in mates by displaying their genetalia-”

Jack pointed warningly at Will, “If you’re suggesting for even a second that I send a dick pick-”

Will slapped Jack over the head, “Don’t be disgusting. I was going to say if we translate that behaviour to a socially acceptable equivalent, all you need to do is show you’re a worthy partner through a feat of skill or strength that highlights your muscles. See that guy behind the counter about to serve (Y/N)?”

Rubbing his sore head, Jack turned to examine a gangly forty-something man with an unflattering porn-stache. “Yeah.”

“You have to assert your dominance by punching him.”

Jack stared at Will disbelievingly, “I’m not punching some random guy.”

“He’s not random. I picked him because he short-changed me the last time I was here.”

“Fine, then I’m not punching some guy because you don’t like him.”

“Well then what do you propose?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” Jack replied sarcastically, “how about I just ask (Y/N) how (s)he feels about me?”

“We’ll call that plan B.”

“I’m not punching-”

“Quiet, (Y/N)’s coming.”

You took your seat between the pair, “Ice cream will be here soon. Did you two find something nice to talk about while I was away?”

“Sort of,” Jack smiled playfully.

“’Kay, then hit me with it.”

“The guy behind the counter is a menace to society,” Will jumped in.

You nodded agreeably, “Tell me about it. He tried to short-change me. I should have decked him for it.”

“See,” Will said to Jack. “I told you my plan would have worked.”

“Plan?”

Jack was practically grinning from ear to ear, “Yeah, Will had a pretty fun hypothesis.”

“Do tell,” You said eagerly, awaiting yet another one of Will’s crazy theories that you had grown accustomed to over the years.

Will looked away awkwardly. You turned your attention to Jack, wondering exactly what you had accidently stumbled upon.

“(Y/N), do you have a crush on me?” Jack said, waiting eagerly for you to get flustered.

Instead, you answered coolly, “Sure I do. Who could resist those thunder-thighs you got?”

Just then, a server came out with a tray of ice-cream sundaes. Before she could pass them out, Will got up and grabbed his off the tray. “I don’t want to be here for this,” He said, heading for a table inside.

The server didn’t even bat an eyelid at the unusual scene. She placed a sundae in front of you and another in front of Jack who was laughing into the palm of his hand, practically convulsing, and without a word went back inside.

“THUNDER THIGHS!” Jack sputtered in hysterics.

You smiled. “I didn’t hear you deny it.”

Once his laughter had subsided somewhat, Jack looked at you quizzically. “Seriously, what does that even mean?”

You grabbed your spoon, tucking into your ice cream before gracing Jack with an answer. “Remember in high school when you decided to join the football team?”

“Yeah.”

“Back then I only went to those dumb games to watch you play.”

“And here was me thinking it was for the love of the sport,” Jack quipped.

“Alright, I get it, you knew that already. What you don’t know is that I led you to believe I was there to support you, but really I just went to watch you in those cute gym shorts. When you tackled, you looked great, or rather, your thighs did.”

“I think you’ll find all of me looks amazing; if you weren’t so focused on my thighs, you’d have noticed that by now.”

“Oh God, don’t tell me I inflated your ego further,” You groaned.

“While it was obviously indecent of you to stare so brazenly at me, especially without an escort, I find myself flattered that you think I’m the most beautiful creature you’ve ever laid your eyes on.”

“Careful or I’ll find someone else to stare at.”

“It’s far too late for that. At your age, it’s time to settle down with someone, before you’re put out to pasture. That’s why I’m going to make a one of a kind offer to you. If you go out with me tonight, I promise you won’t die alone… My thighs will be there too.”

You rested your hand over his, smiling the entire time, “Well, when you put it that way, I’d say you have yourself a date Mr Joyce… Should we call Will back now?”

Jack glanced through the shop window where Will was sat at the back, eyeing the two of you cautiously. “Give it a few more minutes. I think if we both stare at him for a while, the paranoia might break him.”

“What an interesting hypothesis.”