#@proton

i've been thinking about it and i was going to originally have her cave and go back to him because he has this sort of influence over her, always has, and maybe she'd stay a little longer but likely a lot less and

I saw Proton today, for the last time, I got to see him and talk to him. He's a mess. When I first saw him, there was that dormant little part of me that just wanted to run to meet him at the door.

I surprised myself and I didn't.

We talked for a while, and went for a short drive. He's tore up, his life's... I knew it.

He misses me. He loved me and I loved him. He said he's moving somewhere, and I hope he does well, really, I wish him the best.

I don't feel so insecure anymore. Not in that I wanna go back or try and find him or anything, but I feel like I can really look forward. We were in love, and whether or not any of those feelings are still there, on either of our ends, well...I think that a little part of me--that part that wanted to greet him with a hug and just hold on tight--is always going to be fond of Proton.

Stupid first love stuff. Can't really be helped, can it?

Kris does love Proton wow

warning a really gay post

Even though he’s a pretty jerkish guy, she loves it when he’s sweet on her. She loves being able to make him laugh and crack a genuine smile, free of malice, if only for a few moments. She loves it when he takes her out; she loves it when they stay in. Curling up on the couch, watching a movie. Cooking together, cooking for him. She loves it when he lies down and rests his head in her lap, she loves to run her hands through his hair. She loves to wear his shirts and stay the night next to him in his bed. she loves it when he runs his hand through her hair, and when he takes his hand in hers, how their fingers interlace when they have sex sleep together maKE lo-no DOOoO it

She loves how he doesn’t take shit from anyone. She loves how he carries himself. How he doesn’t give a damn. she loves to sass him djfksl;a

She loves how despite the both of them being, well, yknow how they are, they manage to have fun together

He’s the only guy who’s ever seen her as a woman. He makes her feel more comfortable with that whole "issue of femininity" that she struggled with. It's nice to have someone see past that rough exterior

It happened fast, but its there. he’s one hell of a first love LOL. As of (literally) right now, she doesn’t really regret anything.

that being said she's totally checked out proton's butt he wears those slim fit pants all the time god how do you expect her not to

I can't really put together a good line of words tonight. But my thoughts are racing, except not in a marathon or something where they go straight in one set path, but more like running around in a big circle on loop and I'm seeing the same scenes from today over and over again.

That sounded really dumb. Anyways.

I kind of wonder why Proton was so urgent in hearing a confession. I mean I do like him a lot, and I'm not an expert on love, but it could be there. I think it is.

...

I'm so glad I actually got to sit and talk with Proton. Wow, detention was soooo bad...

I like him. I feel like a stupid giddy girl because wow, it's true, I really like him.