Jul 15, 2012
she didn't love lucas and i don't know if she could've
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she didn't love lucas and i don't know if she could've
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lucas
"Long distance won't work" alright
"Leaving for good" okay alright why
"I need to go my professor offered me a job" I see
"I love you"
why would you tell me you loved me and then leave like that and give me all these stupid excuses
Why why why why why stop apologizing stop crying you idiot just go and don't say anything else I'm gonna punch you through the goddamn wall
Do you remember what you told me? "I wanna be a guy you can depend on" well good fucking job, you finally did it
I'm really upset but you know what? I'm gonna get over it
Love. doesn't. leave you. alone.
7-3
"ok."
that's it?
I don't know what I was expecting.
6-17
What does he even want? And why does he have my number? Life is really good for me right now and the last thing I need is Proton trying to screw it all up.
The thing that really gets me thinking is how he's all "oh I'm going to move away, don't contact me again, blah blah" yeah alright look how good of a job you did.
Whatever. I'll just kick back for now and enjoy the rest of my break. When school starts I'll go right back to ignoring him as-usual.
...I don't want to hear about "that" anymore. It's done, it's in the past, I'm doing everything and a half to keep his mind off of it. And when something goes right for once, it...ugh. Whatever, I don't wanna think about it anymore.
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6-5
I can't sleep, I woke up again thinking about it. Can you feel pain in dreams? I dreamed I was being punched, over and over and over again and again, and he pushed me down and got on top of me and this time I couldn't move and this time he hit me again and again and
My bruises are pretty much gone, he hardly ever talks to me, but
FUCK I just don't feel good enough, I'm a girl who's only gonna be the best for a girl and I can't do anything about it.
5-25
"I really like you," he says to me, all the time. I believe him, but i'm kinda believing he's not done liking someone else. Oh man I wonder who!!!
Why would someone--on prom night--be thinking about the last person they messed around with? Right before making out with your own girlfriend.
....
I like Luc. He's sweet and thoughtful and so nice. But it sure isn't fair to me if he's got lingering feelings or something I don't know, which is really funny because out of the two of us I'd imagine me to be the one
whatever
I'm talking to him about it tomorrow I'm just gonna go to bed