#:dummy

Contrary to popular belief, the male does not only spend all of his time either asleep or high or wasted. In fact, what with the recent circumstances and the additional meeting of his older half-brother alongside a bunch of other problems concerning family and whatnot he’s glad for any type of distraction that crosses his way. Today, it seems like Hana and the newborn baby girl are going to be the distraction Hanbyul’s in so desperate need of, but he doesn’t mind. He’s wanted to meet the little one anyway, so he figures the sooner the better.

Even if he can’t help but scowl at the unnecessary additional message and the awful picture Hana has just painted in his mind. He shudders briefly before letting his thumbs type a response as an amused smile settles on his features. The male’s undeniably feeling slightly nervous, because he’s never met the baby of one of his best friends before but he figures there’s a first time for everything.

[ text | airhead. ] yeah, fuck you too. [ text | airhead. ] but i’m waiting. make sure not to keep her in the cold for too long. [ text | airhead. ] that means get your ass over here quickly.

Actually, she's playing around with the male like always. Saying things that will potentially piss him off to the point where he's growling underneath his breath about some bullshit that Hana ignores then continues on until he's smiling and the tension's released. Besides, the brunette doesn't know what's exactly going on with Hanbyul yet. Not that she purposely pushed him away it's her being busy with whatever happened. Things colliding unexpectedly and she's well -- officially a mother now.

[ text : dummy ] hey, hey fuck you. going to cuss the shit out of you through text because i won't be able to when i'm there for obvious reasons. [ text : dummy ] i drove the car, so she's been warm and cozy. be there in a few minutes, loser.

Not that she was texting him whilst driving, parked in a spot already that seems close to where his place is so it wouldn't be a far walk away from where he was. Opening the door to the back of the vehicle to scoop her daughter up when she's snuggled into the carrier she can easily lift up without a problem.

( source + ✎ | still accepting | @consilian )

“there was a lot i should have said, to things i should have done for you but i did absolutely nothing. i was hiding away foolishly because i didn’t think about how you’d feel, how you would think about things. made you feel like i closed you off completely when i would have opened my arms to you. as if there was a chance of judgement for what you do when i was never any better as a person.

didn’t mean to hide it away from you. how one moment i was carrying a child in my stomach to whatever bothered me because i didn’t want you to be someone who ended up carrying my burdens. when you’ve done so much enough for me. didn’t need you to pitch your hand into your wallet to purchase one thing for me when we sit besides one another is more than i can ever ask from you.

and possibly i thought that if i were to break you in the process the way everyone else shattered me i would have felt more relief than pain. but i realized from the time of us knowing each other i’d rather fall apart and paint my blood in hands than to see you suffer even a while longer.

there’s a lot more than meets the eye and silence has told me a lot about you than your own mouth. how there’s some issues that were considered so bothersome and yet you kept your lips pressed together. you’re a lot more fragile than most people think, constantly they fear you when there’s no reason to be. you’re a lot softer than i expected like moments where we meet hand to hand.

sometimes i wish there wasn’t any separation between us even if it was for a few days because i ended up alone and you were always one of the five that made me feel like everything was going to be fine. if you felt like maybe, the reason why i kept so much in and away from you was because i didn’t consider you to be closer than you thought it isn’t the case. 

i just didn’t want you to see me cry anymore.

( @consilian ):

Christmas doesn't come until another three weeks. So for a gift to be offered to her, fingers pinched on the edges while listening to the taller male. Lips twitched into a small smile, bringing it up towards her lips to conceal the amusement that was beginning to show off. ❝I do, at times.❞

❝How do you feel about a pretty girl sleepin’ over for a night?❞ Not that he has an option to protest since she was going to make the effort in order to settle here for a while. Besides, she prefers to be around someone who makes her at ease than forcing herself to be stuck with someone who’s considered a friend. Or something along those lines. Anyways, she doesn’t hesitate to nudge herself into the area where Hanbyul usually resides in. Humming with eyes looking from one side to the next.

Hana doesn’t intend on going in depth to her reasons on needing a place to stay but she isn’t even picky to where she’ll be as long as she was distracted from things that kept bothering her. There’s always an urge to hurt someone, to make someone feel the pain she feels on the inside. Physical, emotional; it doesn’t matter because eventually she’ll always be the reason why someone unhappy.

Fingers attached to the strap of her bag, sliding it off her shoulders with it placed on the side of the cushion couch. Looking over at Hanbyul, no way of suspecting any approval because she knows he could never really decline her. Not that she takes advantage of that, she just knows from personal arguments to where it ends up with her gaining the upper hand. Along with her teasing him about it with soft tugs on his cheeks.

( source + life is strange | still accepting | @consilian )

She sees him perfectly clear but there are still many remains that seems more vague than the rest.

There were many sides of the male she seen and it doesn’t really bother her as much as it did now. It wasn’t too bad. Hanbyul stumbles on his pair of feet at two in the morning due to another restless night of drinking constantly. Or the childish grin that plastered over his lips by the time it reaches two in the afternoon because he’s surrounded by nothing but memories that actually makes him happy.

Somehow, Hana never minds seeing the worst of people when she isn’t the best herself.

That’s why she understands Hanbyul a lot better than most people, if possible, everyone. Teeth sinks into the surface of her lower lip, always something about the way he talks to her always manages to rip her apart from the inside out. And he’s on the borderline of intoxication, words colliding into one another but she picks it up because there’s nothing around them. No one in sight but each other.

And it becomes merely impossible to pick someone up when she couldn’t mend herself from what inflicted her pain.

❝I swear if you even try to say I’m better -- that I’m not a mess myself, I’ll hit you.❞ Not that she would even turn the damage into something worse by drawing physical actions upon him. It’s how she is, with people she cares about. Trying to provide tough love because she doesn’t know how else to comfort. Wanted nothing more than to understand how good it must have felt to hear such soft spoken words and a warm embrace. Her touch is cold.

And somehow being near Hanbyul makes things much colder ( or at least, that’s what her mind thinks ).

➤ consilian ( + source ) - ( still accepting! )

He speaks too naturally when the words of how simple things were suddenly fell out of his mouth. Was it really? Hana tends to think otherwise. Things seemed neutral as if there was nothing to really stress too much about. Especially when their feelings were settled into place and there was a deeper layer into this friendship of theirs. She knows there’s something that seem too good to be truly, likely, if that’s the case; it’s bound to fall apart eventually.

The woman doesn’t want to be too negative about it. Though other people in her life doesn’t seem to give her a break because she’s constantly stressed out. Hanbyul doesn’t do that much compared to before. Surprisingly enough he brings her at ease, a get away from things when they become unbearable to deal with and she thinks of it as a gift she doesn’t deserve from the start. Hana catches a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye, blank expression rising. She doesn’t know how to respond too much.

Can’t even describe it or provide a warning to him. That no it won’t be as simple as the way he speaks it out loud. It’s nowhere close to it soon and that’s what saddening about it.

Why stress over the future when they have each other now? Shows the young woman how much she fears of losing him as a whole.

➤ consilian ( + source ) - ( not accepting ) 

She didn’t personally invite him to stay for the night. All she asked him for was company when enjoying a meal and possibly kick his butt in a simple game of a video game of Hanbyul’s pick. It lasted for who knows how long, the whole night until they fell asleep unexpectedly. All Hana can recall that night was her trying to throw the controller across the room when he was gaining the upper hand and that he tried blocking her vision most of the time to win. She doesn’t say a word to wake him up in annoyance, lips pressed together softly with eyes peering at the wall in front of her. Her head is still resting on his shoulder, strands lazily crossing over her visage. 

This isn't nothing new between them. Their bodies being the slightest bit of close and it was something she was never uncomfortable with. Times changed, feelings were the exact same but he was more closer to her. In ways other people in her life could never be. They don't understand her, could never relate compared to Hanbyul's capabilities. And this isn't her suddenly realizing last minute feelings towards her friend. No, not even close. But there's always this sudden itch in her heart that reminds the young musician that he looks too much like her past. Words can spill out of his mouth and suddenly she's more timid due to how she's constantly struggling to see that Hanbyul isn't -- him. 

When lids were shut unexpectedly in attempt to gain an extra few minutes of sleep, she hears fumbling inches near her. Peeking through spaces of tresses that veiled her visage, she can hear him slowly removing himself off of her mattress. Sheets shuffling along the place and he speaks. Right. He needs to go. Yet, it's something Hana has a difficult time accepting. Obvious by how her head was slowly removed off of his shoulder to sit up properly to sit on the edge while he's grasping onto the jacket that hung onto dear life over the hem of the chair. 

Sometimes, the young female feels like she's seeing the past replaying and taunting her. Reminder that -- oh, this is happening again! ❝Don't go.❞ It's different now, they’re different. Completely different and Hana needs time to realize that she's being delusional for constantly seeing her own friend as someone who used to be cherished. Evidently there's a hint of sorrow when two simple words fall through her mouth and she shakes it off. Trying to find a distraction, a reason, anything. Her petite frame stands straightly on the top of her bed. His back is in her vision and she's clutching onto him more childishly. Hanbyul should be used to this, the way she's forcing him to give a piggy back ride lately.