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I think the worst part of it all is this gray area where i know i did wrong, but i dont know what. And when i try to plead for a smidget of your attention, i lose all the affection. It's been so long. I hope you are doing okay. Even if you hate me now, i want you to know that i still treasure the memories i made with you. Someday maybe we will talk about the universe, cry about love, and share an intimate affection through our words and thoughts like how we used to...
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"The Little Things"
(9.30.18)
9.30.18
Everyone else is cramming for midterms (already???!?), and I miss that world so much. I’m so tired of being disconnected from the worlds I want to live in.
And I know, use that as motivation to try harder. Use that as motivation to follow the meal plan. Use that as motivation to work through the emotions.
And I am. I am trying. I am doing so much work. I feel like I’ve faced more in the past 2 months than I have in all my other treatment combined, but I am still so deep in my head, and I’m so fucking done with this. I’ve been following my meal plan 100% since Monday at lunch now, so that IS something. I AM on the right track.
Shit is just so hard. Eating feels like shit. I feel so alone.
Louis should follow Liam's lead and do an instagram live sitting in the park. I'd watch it.
yesterday didn’t feel real
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hang in there angel, you inspire strength in us all
awww thank you 💙
I am going to fight as hard as I can.
I'm so so proud of you
thank youuu 💙💙
Unselfishly Selfish
The word “selfish” is 99.9% of the time used with a negative connotation. I’m guilty of being selfish in that way more than I️ would love to admit. So, I️ try to be less selfish and say yes to more all while putting my own needs and desires aside. All while doing this I️ become more stressed and that takes a toll on my mental and physical health.
I️t is 100% ok to be selfish every once in a while. It’s ok to turn down that invite, if it’s your only night you know you have to yourself. It’s ok to set aside time for just you! In fact it is healthy for you to do just so! I️ have to schedule “me time” in my planner sometimes when I know my week is extra crazy. It is part of self care and gives you that mental health break, to take time and give yourself some much needed TLC.
Take the time for a long bath, a run, that book you have been wanting to read, anything you enjoy and don’t always have time to do for yourself. This week make sure to schedule time for just you and show yourself some love!
