#9.11.15

I want to fucking crack at school so ill finally get the fucking help I need If I do I need exit the building by the exit at my locker, it will probably be locked but whatever , I'll try it anyway, and if I get out I want someone to see me leave and fuckin f chase me I want to find a way to the roof, or run through the track and jump the fence there, I doubt they'll continue to follow, they will probably call a teacher or the police I guess if I get into the woods or past the road I'll just wait, or kick some trees or something and wait for someone to find me, it's simple. Maybe if I make it to the roof I can just jump It can't be hard Unless they stop me, and then they would probably grab me and pull me to the nurse or the holding room or councilors office, until the police come and try to investigate. they will probably try to get an answer from me as to why I did it, I won't stay quiet. I'll tell them I wanted to die , and that's what I was trying to do. Simple. Maybe I jump and hit the ground and either die or break something, the person will probably scream and other people will come out and try and figure out what happened , I'll get carried away to a hospital. Maybe the doors will be locked. I'll have to run to the other side, near the gym, and enter those doors. No one would notice me, unless it sets off an alarm of some sort. I'm new to that building idk how it works. If those doors are locked I'll probably run and find one of those little outdoor room things ? Idk what they are called , it's just a square of grass that is like outside but it's in the building. I can stay there till someone finds me. If those doors are locked I can't go to the front door bc there's always a police man and those doors are locked I can run to the part of the school I'm not allowed in but I'll probably get caught, but there are probably open doors over there. I want to fucking die and there isn't much of a choice but to do it at school :/

I feel less " I want to tear someone apart" and more "I want to tear myself apart" like in a minute God fucking damnit my sister is sobbing on the floor my mom came in to comfort her This is the first fucking time I've ever seen my mom try to help either of us I almost started crying because I was so mad at everyone and myself I just want to die

It's only the fourth day of school and I've already had an anxiety attack and explosive anger I want to fucking die I want to lie down on the floor and pass out in front of everyone I want to drop dead in the hallway I want to climb onto the roof and jump off I want to die god fucking damnit

Vorrei urlare quanto mi manchi, ogni momento. Ma a che servirebbe urlarlo al mondo intero se la sola persona che dovrebbe sentirlo non vuole ascoltare..? QUANTO MI MANCHI

GREG’S JUST CONFIRMED THEY’RE DOING A COVER IN THE LIVE LOUNGE, YESSSSS.