#84!

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What you wanna talk about? Wanna stay up all night? Wanna scream and shout, sign me up then Ain’t nothing to worry about, I can take it all, that’s right, I’m your number one, don’t forget that. Every word, every scar, Messed up thing that we are, I’ll take it all, boy, better turn up your radio. I never felt like this, you shot me through my heart, Pain never felt so good, boy, you’re my favourite scar I never felt like this, you shot me through my heart, All eyes on me in the middle of the street screaming out your name And it sounds like... you shot me through the heart, You are my favourite scar. What you wanna know about ? Want me to tell you all of my sins, yeah, you first. One shot and you got me and this scar everybody sees on me, Baby, it says that I’m with you.

--- Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand...   You are an expert at sorry, And keeping the lines blurry Never impressed by me acing your tests All the girls that you've run dry Have tired, lifeless eyes 'Cause you burned them out But I took your matches before fire could catch me, So don't look now, I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town --- noun

A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Driving a jeep up the coastline in the blazing hot summer sunshine, full of girls in sunshades blasting music, attracted about as much attention as you expected it to. Cruising around and looking for all the right trouble in all the wrong places.   At more than one point you had to tell the two in the back to quiet down, as their cat-calling to the array of men strolling down the promenade, minding their own damn business, got a little too raunchy.  You had one arm out of the window, tapping your painted nails against your car’s own paintwork. Sometimes you wondered if they only listened to you because you were the assigned leader of the group – but as long as they were still listening. Eventually they got bored of picking on men and decided you, being in the car, were the easier target. “Hey! Y/N! Aren't you dating a Cody!?” That instantly made you smirk. Here we go! The Cody’s – not necessarily a rival crew, but similar work. None of you were related, but you were all very good friends – the Cody’s on the other hand were family. You’d always thought breaking into that might be hard, but not necessarily. “Why do you spend do much time with their crew now!?” You gave a shrug, taking another turn off to take a costal road out of the city; time for a bit more scenery and peace and quiet, you felt; “Cuz he’s hotter than all of you! And yeah I am!” you laughed “What is it to any of you anyway?!” “Well you know that we’re your crew right-!? Anyway, they already have a female member.” “I’m not necessarily sure Smurf counts as a member… But she does tell ‘em what to do – what’s your point?” There was sudden silence, like you’d dare say it; “Well… We just… we’ve heard things…” You sighed; okay, you had to admit you were happy that they worried about you – but honestly who did they think you were? It wasn’t like you didn’t know the life – you were living it yourself. Still, you humoured their concern; “What things?” “Well. She certainly doesn’t like other woman around them.” You quirked an eyebrow; “And?” but you knew exactly what they were implying. “We just want you to be careful!” You scoffed, pushing your shades further up your nose; “You guys worry too much!” *** You dropped off the girls at each of their respective houses; most of them lived together... For your own reasons you lived in a little flat alone. Because sometimes you just preferred your own company. Caleigh, your right-hand girl, refused to exit your car. "What?" you huffed, clearly impatient "You're going to go see him again, aren't you!?" "Yeah, I am. Get on with it...!" you waved at the door handle “Y/N! I just think-!" "You should let me make a mistake? There's nothing wrong with Andrew, go on!" "For once I'm not worried about the man! I'm worried about his mother-!" "Well, I'm also thinking that might be why he likes me so much." You noticed she hopped down from the car but didn't quite close the door. "Why?" "I'm easy going... I don't smother him... Whatever he wants to do I'm down. And affection is his to give and want, when he's really." "Wait, are you dating the psycho one?" "Cal!!!" Now that was just uncalled for-! "The oldest-! F**K! She'll never let him go, Y/N she won't!" "Well that's her problem, and I'm dealing with it... Can you please let me drive, now?" "I don't understand, girls even do it better - what are you getting out of him!?" You quirked an eyebrow and gave her a smirk; "Hell, I know that... But the point is it’s not easy to tell what I get. And for once, I like that mystery..." She gave you a look that let you know she still thought you were insane. "Caleigh, please, I'll be fine! It'll be worse if I don't get there because he’ll worry, then he’ll get antsy and agitated, then they have to deal with it - which will be my fault. Which certainly will make her hate me!!" Your friend reluctantly slammed the door shut, but thankfully didn't cause you to roll your eyes by telling you to be careful, so you were able to wend your way quickly through the Melbourne streets... **

It was barely 4 seconds between your knock and the door opening. Andrew looked a little less than impressed, but he had a face for it so you weren't sure if that was necessarily a true reflection of his feelings. "Hey..." he took a step back, "I thought you might be late..." "Why? You heard about town shenanigans?" If you could count the sound out of his mouth as a laugh you would, "No. But I can imagine..." he walked you through the house "How you been?" "Good... And you?" "Been better." "Oh?" you frowned; you didn't like hearing things like that from him, "Why’s that?" "How's your electrics?" "... Not bad... Why?" "-Fixing-" he added quickly "Electrics." "Not bad, why?"  you repeated and he stopped his tour in the kitchen, indicating to the kettle. "It's busted." "And you can't fix it." "No." "Buy a new one then!" That sounded like an obvious answer, but he gave you a look that plainly said Smurf wouldn't accept that. You sighed and sat on the counter; "Alright maestro, show me what you're doing wrong." He gave you a look that told you to shut up, and you couldn’t help your teasing grin. "Drink?" "Water will do, thank you Darling." Andrew rolled his eyes at you, with a gentle shove at your sarcastic cute nickname. "Water? Little light for you..." although he obliged, pouring you a glass. "Well it's not like you can make me coffee." "Shut it!" "Make me." "You're gonna wish I did..." To be honest when he was looking at you like that you did wish he would. Those beautifully haunting blue eyes belonged to a man who needed to be kissed. And often. You watched closely as Andrew tried to explain to you what he’d done. And you tried not to start smirking until he’d finished, it didn’t matter much, your amusement was present in your voice; “Good at killing, stealing and all that illegal crime shit, but not much else, huh?” And he looked up at you, clearly not amused. You burst out laughing at the look on his face; “Coulda just told me that when I started.” “Naw, why do that when I can listen to you do everything wrong in detail!” That was the wrong thing to say as Smurf strolled into the kitchen. She fixed you with a look you were getting used to. But you didn’t lie to your friends, you could handle it. “How are you doing sweetie?” You noticed the voice she put on immediately, and that flicker of almost annoyance in his eyes. When you did it to be sarcastic he pushed you with a little smile, and told you to shut up. When she did it, in seriousness, he was much more like to shy away from it. Especially if he was with you. “Eh....” he gave a shrug “It don’t work Ma...” You kicked his thigh, which didn’t help things but you could help but act like this with him; “I told you, you’re doing it wrong!!” “Well, you do it then!!” He dropped everything, fixing you with a look that told you you’d probably get rewarded if you managed it. So you bit your lip through your smirk, and hopped off the counter; “Fine I will...” Smurf huffed from the corner of the kitchen in a way that let you know she wasn’t impressed with you, nor the way you’d just talked to her son. “...Sweetie, would you like me to make you anything.” “No... I’m okay...” his voice was quiet, and he turned back to her. She’s just gonna hover Andrew, you and I both know it... And so she did, for a little. See, Smurf you found more dangerous than any of them. Because Andrew showed his emotions, and his hand, before he snapped. You knew when it was coming and how it was gonna run its course. He wasn’t predicable, you would sooner die than think that - be he had a mind that worked a certain way; so once he started it was pretty easy to tell the direction. You and Baz had become quick experts in this, and both of you had different methods to curb it. Both of you extremely grateful you had each other to do so. Who the hell else would stand up to Andrew?

But Smurf, Smurf was sweet as sugar and controlled everything... if she had a breaking point she never showed it, and didn’t seem any different over that line to normal. Unless she was always snapped. Which, also wouldn’t surprise you as the matriarch to 4 nigh-on-uncontrollable criminals. Oh, and that was before you even mentioned you were from a rival all girl gang. She thought you were gonna put her darling boys out of business. That or run around with all of them, breaking their hearts one by one. Which made you scoff at the notion; if she thought that then she didn’t understand your relationship with Andrew at all. Eventually she left the room, but you knew she’d be listening in as he watched you fix it. He ran his fingers close to yours as his body enveloped you; that was intimate enough. You turned - but he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking in the direction she’d gone. You stood; just shy of your back against his chest but his arm brushed yours and that was once again contact enough; you saw that twice across his face, and you’d damn well count that positively. “You know she hates me right...” He shook his head, maybe in denial. “She’s like that with everyone...” “Yeah, but she hates me.” “Yet you’re still here.” You tapped him with a screwdriver to turn those blue eyes of his back on you, where you wanted them. Where you could watch them grow brighter as some semblance of adoration crossed his face. “I’m here for you. Not her.” His gentle touch to your face was unexpected, and made you flinch. Andrew stilled, and you blinked; “I’m sorry...” “No it’s...” He tucked your hair behind your ear “You’re always holding your own. I’m proud of you. You better be proud of yourself.” “Proud of me? For being someone your mum hates?” “Eh... comes with the territory...” Andrew gave a shrug, his lips brushed the top of your ear gently - whether a kiss on purpose or not it had you smiling. “...Rather that than sit and take it…” “F**k that.” “Thought you might say that.” You nudged him again with your shoulder; “Let me fix your mistake Andrew Cody, before your mum starts trying to fix one she thinks you made.” “She’s afraid of you, you know.” His statement was so matter-of-fact that you weren’t even sure he was hearing himself right. “What?!” He pulled away from you, leaning on the counter the way you had been; “You’re stealing me away.” “Stealing you, huh?” “Oh, I guess not...” Andrew pressed his lips into a thin line “Afterall, you’d think stealing could mean something or someone wouldn’t come willingly...” Your eyebrow raised significantly ,and you knew now was the perfect time to tease him; “This better not be the big elope speech.” He rolled his eyes “F**k off, Y/N, and fix the thing!” You drew yourself to height “Problem there, Mr.Cody...” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah...” You breathed gently, in touching distance of his lips once more “What’s that?” He folded his arms; defiant to give you the kiss you currently craved “I don’t wanna f**k off... but I might wanna f**k you...”

***

"Oh, what the f**k is she doing here." Andrew's eyes narrowed but it was Baz that cracked Craig over the head; "OW!" "Shut the f**k up!!” "No, but seriously...!" Baz placed his hands on his hips, and took a step that made Craig concede one at the thought of being hit again; "She brought us the job you idiot! You didn't complain last time." Craig grumbled a little bit to himself again as you walked up the steps into the little warehouse you'd decided to gather in; "You all ready for this one?" "This better be good!" For some ridiculous reason, as the closest in age to you, Craig had decided you might take his spot in the team. And for some other reason only acted like this on jobs. Otherwise he was pretty nice to you. You'd figure it out, one way or another. “It isn’t bad. I’ll put it that way.” You narrowed your eyes slightly in defiance "What, this job to hard for a bunch of girls?!" He was probably getting this attitude from his mother. You still remembered the way she'd looked you up and down, and told you that you'd be better staying at home and waiting for them to get back from a job. And that jobs were no places for women. You were just as quick to point out that she was often the brains behind what they did and simply made them do the dirty work for her. Leaving the younger two gobsmacked with mouths hanging open, Baz trying desperately hard not to laugh, and Andrew looking at you like all his dreams had just come true. There had been others, you guessed, all of them unable to put up with her... And certainly unable to stand up to her. But he had you now, and you didn't dare back down. Andrew was your boyfriend; she wasn't about to take him away from you and there was no way in hell you were about to let her degrade your work just because it was a “mans” job. "A little. Maybe I just like you guys." "That or you want us to get arrested." Your eyes flicked to Andrew; "And have my life be mundane again, Craig? I don't think so..." Andrew gave you a gentle nod. And you knew at least 3 of them were confident in your abilities to tell them what to do, and handle this. Even if you were happy with the two eldest sweeping in to help control things. And so the job went as well as planned, and maybe a little better than expected. You gave everyone an even split meaning collectively they earned more than your group, but that was the point, they’d done the hard graft. And doing jobs with you meant Smurf wasn’t taking cuts from them – all around you thought this was a win-win. Probably another reason she hates me! As you drove them back to the warehouse to each get in your own cars back home, it was Craig and not Andrew who held back. One fleeting kiss and Andrew was walking back to the car with Baz (didn’t mean he didn’t fix Craig with a threatening look… of course). You folded your arms, staring at him expectedly “…Yes?” He nudged your arm; “Guess that went pretty well.” “Yeah. Thanks for the help.” Then you added sarcastically; “Guess I could never have done that without some big strong men around!” At least his laugh sounded appropriately embarrassed; “You’re… you’re alright, you know that?” You gave a smile, if that was as good as compliments got; “…Thanks Craig! You’re not so bad yourself!” You waved them all off as they called their goodbyes back to you and you couldn’t help laughing. You loved all of them; and whether Smurf wanted you there or not, you were happy to be an extended part of this family. *** Andrew always wanted affection on his terms. You were quite willing to sit in the same room as him for nearly 24 straight hours in silence, just for those glorious 10 seconds he would cross the room and sit close enough to touch you. That’s how he asked, he never said it. He never just took you in his arms. And you were pretty sure he’d never ever heard the term public display of affection... but you knew when he sat like that, with that look on his face and in his eyes, he was begging for something from you. And Smurf could never fulfil that even when she thought she could. What’s worse, is you’d seen her give love to Andrew in a way that stifled him, that made him push back - that near enough made him angry.  But she took it away too. Because sometimes, Andrew needed her to be his mother. Not his keeper. And that’s when she was at her cruellest. Andrew was a lost cause. Andrew wasn’t someone she could control. He’d been in prison, he’d done drugs, armed robbery, D&Ds and DUIs... theft, murder... you name it. Deran was the baby and a sweetheart and you liked him a lot, but he was securely under her thumb and hardly in trouble. And too timid to stand up to her or his siblings. Born into the wrong family, in your opinion. He didn’t have the nature for this... Craig, in the middle, wasn’t stable enough to break free. And as far as you could tell didn’t want to. You’d always thought his relationship with Smurf to be a little twisted and tried not to uncomfortably stare when kisses seemed to be more than just familial... When Baz would kick you under the table and give you a look. Baz was Andrew’s best friend, and his stability. And you’d often breathe and tell him you thought he was the only sane one. And he would laugh gently, and give you his best smile ‘Aw, Andrew doesn’t do too bad now he has you...’

But Andrew... On his medication was a mess you didn’t like to deal with. They dulled his personality. If you thought he didn’t feel normally, then this was worse. And you knew what they were for. But you didn’t think they were any good for him. But what could he do? Sometimes he would give you the bottle and ask you to hide them, and that scared you. But you supposed that wouldn’t have Smurf forcing him to take them. But off his medication.... oh, he was anxious, and paranoid, and angry, and reckless... any idea was a good idea and he’d damn well do anything he wanted. But in the aftermath of that... when Andrew calmed down. That was when he needed someone. And he didn’t have to look for any real affection, just to know someone was there.

And you’d seen him at that point. At the point Smurf should love him the most; regardless of whether he deserved it or not. Because she was his MOTHER.

Andrew Cody should never have to beg to be loved…

But that’s what she made him do. And you’d had enough of that. So that led to you slamming your hands on the table, and standing so fast the chair hit the floor, as you fixed her with a stare so hard it was beyond if looks could kill. “Stop it.” She tried that sweet act, but you could see her face fall already “Stop what, sweetie?” “Stop f**king what?! Stop Making him BEG for this!” Your hands hit the table again “Andrew deserves better than this family - and he deserves a better f**king mother than you!” You weren’t sure you meant that about his brothers – but hell, at that moment you didn’t really care anymore. Suddenly Andrew was no longer looking at her for anything, and was trying to manoeuvre you from the kitchen. To very little avail, other than you weren’t sure what would happen if you stayed and had a full-on screaming match with her. “You don’t deserve him!” Was as good a spit as she got at you, that had you turning in his arms as he tried to drag you out the door. And by God did he have to keep a strong grip; “No! You don’t f**king deserve him!!! You don’t F**KING DESERVE any of them!!!” There was a silence. And you knew you’d full on blown it now.

Andrew froze, because whatever either of you said next, one of you had to be the bigger woman and walk away. You took a deep breath and your voice was shaking, with anger you were desperately trying to control again. “...They are your children... they are grown men... and you should love all of them unconditionally... You shouldn’t get to choose when you give them love! And they shouldn’t have to prove they are worth it...” you stepped out of Andrew’s arms “... what you do to him... is possibly one of the cruellest things I’ve ever seen.” And hell, in your line of work, by now you’d probably seen nearly all of it. “And if that’s why he needs me... then I will fight for that. And I will give him what he needs. And maybe I’m not good enough for him. Hell, maybe I never will be... but I am what he needs, right now… and I’m gonna damn well make sure he knows he deserves to be loved like anyone else does.” You walked, because you were in tears. And they were hot, angry, bitter tears that she had pushed you to. And you almost hated yourself that you’d fallen for that push. “ANDREW DONT YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME-!!” Was about the last thing you heard before you whipped around and were swept from the floor. “What the f**k are you-!?” You just about managed as you were carried, shocked, to his car. “Don’t speak. Just listen.” To what? He dumped you in the passenger seat and the next thing you knew you were driving to the middle of nowhere.  And you realised that was the point. To nothing. To his actions. Hell, you should know yourself by now, they were always louder than his words. There was a smile on his face. Something you weren’t even sure he was aware he was doing. You’re doing it again Andrew... You wondered again what it was; but you thought you already knew... *** It had been a few months since that argument, and as far as you were aware the cat fight was still on. And now you only stuck around the house if she wasn’t there. Sometimes she’d come back before you left, and there would be a five second stand-off where the boys sat in silence and the tension could be cut with a knife. Luckily, none of them were taking sides… But there was a new kind of amity between the group of you. You guessed it might have been a certain kind of respect… Which let you to doing a bunch more jobs with them – and more than enough times your gang of girls got in on this too. What was more, you got to watch from afar with Andrew as they all started warming to each other. And you got to give each other that same look; try to see Smurf break this up. But, then and there, jobs didn’t always go perfectly…! Even when Andrew had your back.

"Could have gone a little better for you, huh?" "Any time you can get me back, you will..." You winced, looking at the state of your arm. Arguably not your best idea ever, even if necessary. Andrew chided you for it again. Now in your apartment, you knew that Smurf would go ballistic at him for not returning home with the rest. "Yeah. Because I care about ya." "Come off the noble act, Andrew, you just wanna tell me I told you so." "I do..." He admitted with a smile "but I want to fix up this arm first..." He pulled you to him gently, arm straight across both your leg and his. “…You really shouldn’t be so stupid sometimes.” He knew that would raise a laugh; “It’s not stupid if it works…!” “Works?” You caught that smirk and raised eyebrow as he gathered the medical equipment closer to him; “If that’s what you call it…” You raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help that tease; "What’s mummy dearest gonna say? Shouldn’t you be running back home?" He shook his head "F**k her." Your eyes widened: "Wh- OWWWW---!" you cried out as he poured saline over the gash. You were 99% sure he also wasn’t supposed to be that liberal... His eyes met yours; see. "What did you just---!! If she heard you-" Those blue hardened significantly; "I said f**k her." Andrew breathed, "I have you now... You've seen what she does... You can't possibly imagine.... How much freedom having you in my life gives me... You stand up for me, you stand up for the boys, you stand up for yourself. I've never seen that." He looked back to your arm, drying and cleaning it, he bandaged you up; " You don't realise how proud I am of ya... And I’m aware I don't really say it, but I feel it." He sat up taking your free hand in his; "Y/N you are one hell of a f**king woman."

You gave a gentle smile; "I'm proud of you for admitting that." "Oh, really?" "Mmm..." You closed that gap with a delicate thank you kiss. It was a first step. Andrew’s affection was stoic but he was learning, he would figure it out. He'd tell you, in his own way, exactly how much he loved you. And you knew discovering the how was the best part of this relationship. He pulled you to him, it was a subtle, sensitive ask. If you want, I want. And you slid forward and across onto his lap, running your hands through his hair.  "Injured?" you asked with a cheeky wink. "Oh, well, I bandaged you, you’ll be fine." "Magic, huh?" "Not quite..." he tipped his head "But you know what they say..." "And what do they say..." He gave a shrug, voice soft, pulling you to him again; "I haven't quite figured it out yet..."

Andrew ran his arms under your legs and hoisted you from the couch. He stood still for a minute to make sure that he had you supported correctly, but you were quick to move on your decision. Your fingers were already at the buttons of his blue shirt as you kissed him. He placed his forehead gently to yours as he carried you to your room, his lips grazing yours. You knew even when it was silent, when Andrew Cody looked at you like that it was the closest he would get to saying 'I love you'.

--- THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!! 🎉🎉😘😘 🌟 6 Sins Down!!! 🌟

One to go and we’re all done!!!