#8000th

Hope y'all have a great day and lots of laughs with your family and friends <3

While this is truly a minuscule of an achievement for a vague reason, I still decided to make my 8000th post something that is still possibly worth the time and effort to read.

The paradox that is me, yes, I'm filled with clashing inconsistencies and invalid arguments if you ever try to compile and inspect them but you see, I'm a person who lives in the "now", the occasional realizations I made were simply yet still significantly, a spur of the moment. But they are as true they can be from the moment I've thought of them and although they may seem to clash with my other previous realizations and life lessons, the truth behind this is that they do not clash but rather they change to fit my situation. I'm not a person who stands steadily in one place, I'm a person who moves forward and changes if the circumstances beg me so.

And now I have made another possible paradox of a realization but in a sense, my most rational one yet. My indifference and negligence to my new friends have come to light. And as cliche as this sound, the whole "It's not you, it's me." defines the situation but in my case the "you" is "them". 

Honestly, if I were to compare them objectively to my old friends using the acceptable norms in terms of morality as a basis, they are the better ones without implying my old friends are the bad ones because they are good, just not the better ones in an objective manner, but if I were to use my personal relationship to them as the basis, the standing would be reversed.  Truly and objectively, they have the better qualities as a group but I just simply do not jive with them as much as I jive my old friends. And tonight, I was able to pinpoint a crucial reason. And that is because  they've been trying to alter my leisure time to a simpler manner of chatting and mindless drinking with their cheap taste of music, fashion and entertainment backed by the overused idea that is "It's who you're with that counts.". And while I do agree with this, I believe that it's just one part on feeling joy with the company, because if you're doing almost everything you  dislike, how in the world will you enjoy anything? The thought of you're with good friends even with the title of "bestest friends", is still not enough to get you truly laughing and feeling that personal joy within you. 

I was born on the luxury of enjoying the finer things brought by my old friends and I have never considered this as something I should change because more than a privilege, it served as a motivation for me to work harder to sustain my luxury of these. It didn't make me weak because it prevented me from giving up. I aspire and persevere because of this trait of mine. Not settling for cheap laughter and careless drinking, I pursue my passion for dancing to achieve more while enjoying. Not settling for taking pictures with no effort to make it look more memorable and desirable, I pursue my passion for photography and it's really starting to take off thanks to my old friends.

Do not get me wrong, I do love the simple laughs and fun every now and then, but the problem I found is that my new friends seem to have settled for it for good. I have tried a lot of times to spark some change on them, but only one of them is actually interested to go for a change sometimes but most of them are satisfied with again, the company they are with. And as much as I would like to think how they have achieved happiness through this satisfaction of the simpler things, the reality is that it's not me at all. I'm too diverse to stay put and I believe happiness is a personal satisfaction, and mine is not bound to anyone. Maybe they share the same personal satisfaction that led them to their happiness, but for me it's different. My personal satisfaction is not bound to my company. Though they contribute to gaining it but not enough for me to say that I'm happy. The activity matters a lot. Not just the company.