#8.9.17

"There's a major focus on fans. They're everything. She wants to know her fans are being taken care of and treated with respect." -Andrea Swift

i am in a holding back tears mood. blinding them behind my eyes with saturated images, tiny, inky words filling the screen as i collapse my brain into a flurry of frantic typing and flicking my fingers up and down the glass, again and again, the repetitive moment muffling my worn head. it soothes me, in a way, the glowing light and cycle of refreshing. an enclosed routine i have created that takes me out of my own mind in the quickest way possible, wading hip deep into a maze of other problems. a million lives more important than mine, comforting someone they barely know. and i can play the part too, type my gushing words and click send, over and over, like the rush of adrenaline the contact brings me i send straight back to them, a speedy cycle of validation. the quick hit that numbs my tears.