Aug 28, 2019
@ louis’ team
getting papped with his no name fake girlfriend for the 4000th time isn’t promo
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@ louis’ team
getting papped with his no name fake girlfriend for the 4000th time isn’t promo
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"The Monarch"
I never realized how intricate butterflies are.(8.27.19)
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this post is emo as fuck don’t read it
sleeping in the treehouse because mom doesn’t want to sleep next to dad tonight because dad’s drinking and everything mom says makes him upset and mom seemed so exhausted when she got home and it breaks my heart sometimes to see that she isn’t fully happy, isn’t fully who she wants to be. anyway, i let her have my bed and now i’m here in the trees (king of the trees - treemeister) and i really wish i had some pot to smoke. i want to get really fucking high so that i can’t keep my eyes open, and so i don’t have to keep questioning whether i actually want to hurt myself or just want a reason for people to be concerned about me. don’t be, though. i’m not going to do anything. i know mostly i’ve been feeling crappy because i’m not doing all the things i dream of doing, and i’m getting drunk instead of making art and hiking and all the rest. i know how i’m feeling is more in my control than i want to admit. i am the reason this is happening to me. i want to blame everyone else, want to believe that they aren’t good enough, don’t care enough about me to make me feel better. then there are the ones who want more, and i know that hearts are breaking. it is hard when your best friend falls in love with you if you don’t feel the same way. when i feel like dying all i want to do is call him but it is unfair to ask him to fix my hurt when i am his hurt. and then i feel alone. i feel like i’m floating. i don’t have anything to hold on to right now.
aspie
[ rx Ace of Wands, rx Five of Swords, rx Five of Rings ]
She asked if the guy she’s been speaking to on and off for almost 4 years will ever open up and share how he feels about her. I asked if there was anything she could do to help bring that about or if it was likey that he would open up.
He may not be sure how to go about telling you. He wants to, but he can’t commit to the ‘how.’ He may be waiting for the “right” way and/or time. He also needs to focus on what is is he wants, in life and in your relationship. It may benefit you both to be more explicit in what you want as what you want may not be the same things he thinks of.
You both want to move forward after these last 4 rocky years. Separately and together you’ve both experienced hurt. There was conflict, disagreements, and you both have issues and old wounds that you’ll need to deal with and heal from. But you both want to, so this is positive. And it may be helpful if you guys work on this together. It’ll be bonding and informative.
He may have been or is too fixated on money and physical/tangible things and he will come to learn this soon. After he does, he should be able to do the work for inner wealth and make more connections with the people around him who love and care for him. Family and friends were put on the back burner while he focused on prosperity and wealth because he may feel unworthy if he isn’t wealthy.