#8.20.12

August 20, 2012

Err.

I find myself eating less and less than I usually do. Maybe it's because it's summer vacation, and I wake up at like, 12:30pm (skipping breakfast) and then sit on the computer all day until 11:00pm when I finally pick up my ass and fix myself something to eat. 

This is only when I have no work though. On days in which I have work, my boss gives me sushi at around 6:00pm and then when we close at 11:30pm, he fixes something for me for the night. Well, by the time I go home though, I don't eat it because 1.) I'm scared of finding maggots in my food again and 2.) because I'm too lazy to eat.

This is really bothering me, especially when I find myself eating only half a bowl of curry when I normally eat two bowls and still not be hungry. 

As a random side note, I finally finished Strings by the wonderful lantur today!

It's Korrlok, haha, I don't know why I like this pairing so much, my friends will probably look at me weird, erp. Tarrlok is old enough to be Korra's dad for pete's sake oTL. 

One thing I that got me worried about the fanfic was that, if I were a civilian of the Avatar world, after reading that Avatar Korra was kidnapped by Tarrlok on the newspapers, the first thing that would come to mind would NOT be that they're eloping, omg lolllll. I mean, save it for rape but, romantic/sexual pleasure? In that kind of situation? lmao. I mean, I understand that being a pairing fanfic, and it has to go SOMEWHERE, but this... is...not...what... I was expecting??

But aside from that fact and the fact that there have been many times I thought Tarrlok was doing something that he would NOT usually do, lantur did an excellent job exploiting the inner conflict Tarrlok has between his pride/image and his past. I was particularly looking for this in the fanfic, because that's the only reason why one of my favorite characters is Tarrlok, despite being a huge douchebag/cocksucker/pissy little asslicker, and all the fanfics that I TRIED to read were all nothing but smut and rape, which doesn't sit well with me. 

I am

going to drown my depression by cooking katsu curry tonight. 

Haha, no one would believe me if I said that this is one of my favorite foods, other than udon. 

"Whattt?? Girls don't eat curry! Let alone katsu curry!"

I also want to have a quick witted mind and good public speaking skills. 

So I can bring any opponent down in an argument, even if it's my mom where she WILL beat me if I go against her.

That was the only reason why I so badly wanted to be in that leadership program that Bing provided. However I was waitlisted. 

Sigh. 

I guess I'll have to practice or go join an interest group when I'm in college?

I mean, these are really, really important skills to have. 

When I talk back in my defense against my mom

she yells at me.

When I shut my mouth and don't speak ONE word

she yells at me.