#7333

“you’re hiding.” max spoke quietly, his teenage voice heavy with an accent.

alex shakes his head and bites his lip, hard, to stop himself from crying then and there. his arms are crossed tightly over his chest, trying to close himself off and shrink away.

max watches him with sad eyes that couldn’t quite understand alex. not in the way he wanted to. alex wasn’t easy like that.

the spaniard sighs. “i’m an open box,” there’s a pause as he swallows down tears. “maybe you’re not looking.”

in three quick strides, max is in front of alex so they are face to face. “i am fucking seeing, alex. i am!” he argues.

alex, again, shakes his head.

“you don’t understand. why don’t you understand? are you even trying, alex?” max says, throwing his arms in the air as if alex is some sort of mad man. that’s what he seems like to max right now.

“maybe i don’t want to.” alex defends, refusing to look into max’s eyes.

max freaks out.

maybe he wouldn’t if it wasn’t this situation.

but this wasn’t any situation.

it would determine the rest of their lives.

“do you want me? want us?” max asks, quiet now as he pushes down his anger. “because you’re going to have to understand if you want us.”

alex doesn’t know what to say anymore. he knows how important this is not only to max, but to himself as well.

because soon they won’t just be upcoming prospects in junior categories. ones who’s activities and relationships weren’t closely monitored by the media.

no. it was 2015 and soon max would go to formula one. alex had known for a long time. and soon alex would be making the move from moto3 to moto2. though that wasn’t as prestigious as formula one, he was still climbing to the top.

“i do want you.” alex’s quite voice mutters, daring to speak. “but i..” he trails off.

“but what?” max croaks, hesitating on taking alex’s hand into his own.

for a third time, alex’s head swings back and forth. “marc doesn’t know about this.” he breathes.

max knew what that meant. marc was everything, he was it all. if marc didn’t know, then no one did.

alex was already under the pressure. marc had already began the starts of what would be a fruitful career, one for the history books. he had done all of that before alex even made it to the premier class, and he had a lot to live up to.

did he want to be the gay one? the one to be laughed at and ridiculed?

“you know how complicated this is.” alex reminds max, who nods. “maybe that’s why it’s good.” max responds.

and alex just looks at him. he doesn’t understand how the complexity of their affair could be anything good. was it good?

though the distance between alex and max was already less than an arms length, maybe a forearm, alex takes a step forward. their hands brush together now.

max watches as alex takes his hands to max’s face, then pulls their faces together.

the kiss is gentle and understanding. max’s lips find alex’s in a way that is so practiced it’s become second nature.

max’s hands come to alex’s waist as he pulls them fuller together, then presses alex against the wall of the garage. holding him there. just in case he runs away.

just for this moment, it might work out. max knows it will. alex has his doubts.

alex breathes, maybe disappointed, as max breaks the kiss. a string of saliva connect the both of their lips for a moment before it falls.

“i want to love you.” alex says, then rushes out the next words. “and i do! i love you lots, you know that. but is this worth it?”

“i think so.” max nods. alex nods too.

.

two weeks later, max debuts in formula one after replacing the previous toro rosso driver. this was the start of his career.

following max’s debut, he announces something that’ll forever be more important than racing, than winning.

that thing was he and alex.

to no one’s shock, the first person to congratulate the young racing couple was marc marquez.

max was in malaysia, where he would later score his first career points, breaking records in just a few races.

alex was sitting on the edge of marc’s bed. the older brother had an arm slung around his little brothers shoulders.

“are you mad?” alex sniffles quietly. “i know you said you weren’t. but i feel like you are.”

marc laughs in spite of himself, a quite sound that only said how silly it was for alex to think that. “how could i?” he smiles, looking at alex.

because once he was nineteen years old, and once he knew what it felt like to struggle the way alex did.

“i see you, alex. and i always will.” marc assures. “you will be everything i never was. and the first thing is brave.”

brave.

alex smiles softly, wiping his eyes. it’s silly to cry.

how could he be upset? he’s on his way to the premier class, to be a legend. he has the best brother in the world and the most supportive boyfriend ever.