man my mood has been all out of wack lately, idk wtf is even going on anymore. some days like yesterday i’ll spend all day extremely paranoid, confident everyone i love actually hates me, thinking abt the future how i basically dont have one, toying with s//cidal thoughts, etc, and then other days i’ll spend 4 hours scrubbing the bathroom down with bleach and going through all the kitchen cabinets to reorganize them and then making meal plans for the week and planning grocery shopping trips and thinking how to rework my budget to save up enough money to buy my sibs a bunkbed ect etc etc
like what !!!!!!! some days i feel like im moving forward and other days i am totally NOT !! i wish my brain was more consistent. also it is way too hot out i went to the pool earlier and even the pool wasn’t refreshing anymore because the sun heated the water up too much. it just felt like sitting in a lukewarm bathtub but also there were other people there so that was weird.
