Kellan Oliver

I apologize- for while the great poets have named the exact color of your eyes (& your eyes only) & written, in detail, the melody of your laugh & the hum of your voice.

I am the answer to a question you haven't asked. I am rhyme without meter. I am a title without a book & I am tea ground between your teeth, no water.

I forgot there were little things I could smile at & dream over, but you're helping me remember.

You have my heart strings entwined in your fingers like precious things

I am tired of being a moon orbiting around you, mist planet, & though you are filled with wonderful ideals, you have no substance. You cannot hold me.

You cannot blame me for venturing out to reflect new stars.

You are the summer rain. The brittle grass of my heart turns up its face to you to take you in.

You have been long awaited & I can't help but rejoice over you

I step onto the concrete cluttered with wet leaves & I fill my lungs with the cold November air.

There are hooks under my skin that you left behind but I've severed the ties that connected me to you & I've changed myself into a person you may never know.

I don't need a lover to tell me I am beautiful.

The soles of my shoes will go places (& my blue-green eyes will see faces) that you'll never know

I'm so sick of all the days fading into the next. I pretend to dance in colors,

(I paint my lips the brightest red in the absence of your kisses)

When the air is thick & warm do you ever pretend you are taking pure magic into your lungs?

The moon was very full tonight, pulling light & a blanket of mist loosely around her naked body in a longingly sort of way.

She must be a very sensual being. I wonder what it must be like to be so utterly beautiful & so incredibly alone at the same time.

It's a dark night. The sky looks like a big black void, heavy & lifeless,

& I feel alone & small beneath it.

Oh light, light, where are you now?

The melody of your voice makes my cheeks blush with delicate pink rose blossoms.

Your words are sweet like honey, the gentlest salve healing old wounds.

How could I help but want to be within reach of your touch?

It's another sleepless night but I don't mind. The words are flowing again & I have so many things to say.

There are so many words I want to write to you- so many kisses & amorous gestures.

I hate being apart from you.

I dream of each day dissolving as my body sleeps beside your body, skin touching skin & fingers deftly searching for contact in the dark.

I want to dissolve in the aqueous sky of the deepest sleep, to get jumbled up in a velvet dream of near nothingness & feel like a jellyfish, serenely thoughtless.

I wanted so desperately to believe in you, benevolent & omnipotent father creator.

I thought discovering you weren't real was going to kill me, that the godless sky would swallow me whole,