Feb 12, 2014
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#project hail mary- #the amazing digital circus
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#batfamily#dc universe#tim drake#dc fanart
- #the vampire lestat
#lana del rey
#f1- #bloodymary
#intersex
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#batfamily#dc universe#tim drake#dc fanart
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At first, I chose not to distract but deny. Physical toll. I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t better. It was more lonely. I had way too much time to think. Thought constantly about everything that I saw and imagined. Couldn’t forget. Couldn’t ignore. Now I choose temporary blindness. An attempt at confusion, for a moment thinking that I have found peace, am safe, can depend on others, and owe it to myself to try to find positivity and surround myself with people who make me feel a part of something. Illusion.
1000 days ago I was broken in such a foreign way and the reason why escaped me. Six months ago the reason was written down for me and I made peace again (because a brief passing in a grocery store hardly counts as closure). Two weeks ago, a simple "hey!" echoed through my bones and although the flutter had been long gone, I couldn't help but ask why. But more than that, I couldn't help but remember. I couldn't help but remember all of these things that I used to be. All of these things that I used to feel. But lately, everything that I thought I should let go of has found a way of resurfacing and I am beyond grateful for it. These past two weeks have solidified what I have always known. Remembering is just what I needed.
7.10.12
Ok, so a legit post about Binghamton, since my last post was pretty brief, the internet's back on today, and I'm not allowed to sleep right now until the TMs come over and pick us out for attendence.
Okay, whew.
I just fell in love with this school, really. This summer program reminds me a lot of the freshman summer program during my first year into Bronx Science, but this one is more, I don't know, OPEN and outspoken, I guess. When I first walked into the resident halls one TM called Jin welcomed me like I was already his friend or something. At first I was like 'whattt I don't even know you' and you know, I had a really bad morning that day because of that bus driver so I thought Jin's attitude was kinda over the top. But after only one hour into the day, I got friendly with a bunch of people in this program, and I also saw two familiar faces (Fabian and Karen) so I wasn't too depressed. Plus, the TMs decided to play a bunch of icebreaker games and I now I'm able to figure out most of these peoples' names. I'm known as the "Japanese Girl" or "Azula" on the program so almost everyone knows me by now haha.
But anyway, the rest of yesterday was AMAZING. I don't know, everything suddenly changed, the weather doesn't suck as much here (although I know it's going to get worse by winter), no more intimidating people, and everyone was just so, friendly. And I really like that, you know. I'm not the type of person who likes to be all closed to herself, I really do like talking with people, however if you're going to act bossy or egocentric then it just brings my hopes down.
Anyway, we played volleyball, ate in the dinning halls, and bowled in the activity center and I just really had a good, no, great time. I can't even express this happiness in words right now, and I'm super excited for the next coming days, oh my goodness. Even though some of the program members were a little bit 'happy-go-lucky-hyper' people, I sincerely appreciated it.
Yeah, I want to write my memories here, like I always do.
Well, the TM already came and took attendance and explained what we're going to do tomorrow, I'm going to sleep.
7.10.12
Wow. Just wow. The time I'm having in Binghamton right now is one of the best in my entire life. I haven't laughed, smiled, and joked around with new classmates like this before.
I feel like I spent my entire life with them, and I come back to tumblr to realize that only two days has passed! This is amazing! And it's only Monday, we have until Friday to be together like this until we meet again in the Fall!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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