Jun 9, 2018
That too but the gay child one also (fizzy’s likes)
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That too but the gay child one also (fizzy’s likes)
(x) 😊
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Harry Styles - Sweet Creature Houston, TX June 7, 2018
Gryffindor X Neon Red
Hey y’all it’s Maggie and I am back with another moodboard. As you can tell we don’t have a posting schedule, it just depends on us :) But anyway you can request stuff. Moodboards mostly atm. Sivan is working on an imagine and I could try to write them but I am very slow at getting them out. I am also backed up with imagines on my other account. but for sure request moodboards :)
Here's part 2! We had to draw how we felt entering the new school year vs how we feel now. I think I did pretty good. I'll post some non-school related art soon I promise djdjsjsj
The PHP schedule is sooo wack right now. Soo I started Tuesday, so I'm just adjusting, but Monday they're starting an entirely new schedule as the local treatment center merged with another east coast treatment (company?) idk the right word. Any changes are really logistical, but it's still definitely a pain in the ass.
Anyways today I have PHP again from 12:30 to 8:15. My schedule for today is:
12:30-1 Relaxation Group
1-2 Lunch
2:15-3:45 Recovery Skills Group
3:45-4 Snack
4-5:30 Mindfulness Skills Group
5:45-6:30 Dinner
6:45-8:15 Motivation to Change Group but I believe I'm being pulled out to meet with my individual and do a psycho/social assessment.
This morning I had swim practice (coaching) and then I had a 30 min tutoring session with an adorable 7 year old. Now I'm going to go to the public library for a few minutes just to sit in air conditioning and maybe bullet journal a tad as it's only 11:10 and I don't need to call a lyft for PHP until about 11:50.
I'm feeling very insecure and resistant to change this morning. I'm terrified of working on my trauma, and I feel certain that if I allow myself to eat sufficiently (or over sufficiently as I feel the program is forcing me to) then I will spiral in suicidal ideation. I know the ED is not a healthier alternative, but I'm feeling stuck. I don't like the way my body looks now, and I can't imagine going back to how it was even though a rational voice deep down is telling me that I felt better about myself then than I do now. Why is my ED so strong rn??? ughhhh. I'm torn between trying super hard and putting up a fight and being super resistant... rn throughout individual days I'm just bouncing between the two. I find myself sarcastic and unhelpful during groups at times, and at other times I find myself full of wisdom. Like during nutrition group I found myself asking questions that were entirely disordered to the point where the group leader was like Molly this is restrictive, stop. I have sunk so low, and I want to hold myself to higher standards—I want more for myself—it feels so distant and unreachable though. The reality I lived two months ago doesn't feel like a reality I will return to. I have two semesters left of school, but it just feels like I'll be stuck in treatment through the fall. I need to fight, but I can't find my motivation.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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THAT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!!!
Harry Styles - Just a Little Bit of Your Heart Houston, TX 6.7.18
Harry Styles - B stage Houston, TX June 7, 2018