#51212

13 years later, we have been married for 8 years today. The Lord only knows where we would be without each other. #husbandwife #over30 #anniversary #51212 #iloveyou #tiktoktuesday https://www.instagram.com/p/CAE2q66BIfb/?igshid=xglhol5zjgfk

Its gonna be hard for me when the new school year starts. I can't do what I've been doing since the last time I saw you. I saw you almost two weeks ago & since then I've been a wreck. At least I've been trying to distract myself by reading a lot. The thing is though, I don't know how I'll handle it if I see you with someone else. I don't know if I'll cry or if I'll just stay numb & emotionless. You were the best thing that had ever happened to me. You were the only reason why none of my other relationships have worked out, because instead of being happy with the person I'm with, I thought of you & how much I wish it was you I was with. I'm not gonna come out & say 'I love you' because I don't really believe in saying it. If you love someone don't just say it, prove it. But I still cry about you even though all of this happened more than a year ago & I've had feelings for you for nearly two years. Sometimes I actually think I meant something to you. Sometimes I think I mean absolutely nothing to you. That I'm just a girl you dated. Nothing more, nothing less. It hurts so much to think about the good memories of us like the day you asked me out. It hurts to think about us cuddling or the time you wanted to beat Cilla at guitar hero for me because she beat me...but it hurts more to think about how you looked sorta relieved when I broke up with you. It hurts way more on how you basically told me you didn't want to be with me anymore. The thing that hurts the most though, is when you got with Vanessa literally two or three days after we broke up. If you didn't want to be with me you shouldn't have said that you did & you shouldn't have asked me out. I miss you but I'll leave you alone. I'll let you go. I'll stand back & let you be happy...even if it doesn't make me happy.