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I’ve gone through a lot these past two weeks. I’ve never had this feeling before. It’s honestly been really rough. Thankful for friends and family that have been there for me. A lot of them don’t even know what I’m going through, yet they still cheer me up. I’m not ready to express what I’m going through right now. My heart is heavy. There are a lot of things I want to pursue in my life right now, but I need to get pass this one road block in my life first. 

To be honest I feel as if I have mild depression. Only a handful of people know what I’m going through, and out of those handful of people only one understands how I feel. I’m trying my best to move on, but it’s in the back of my mind. 

1. My sister. I know I mentioned her a few days ago, but she is amazing.

2. An amazing support system (friends and family) 

It is currently 1:38am and I am playing destiny with my friends. I’m honestly having a lot of fun, but in the back of my mind I can’t stop thinking of the results of my NCLEX. I know I can’t do nothing, but I just want to know. I just tried to do the pearsonvue trick and it still says, “client’s results are on hold...” I’m glad it’s not giving me the bad pop up. I pray that I passed. 

1. my sister

2. friends

1. NCLEX

2. Flame Broiler

Today was slow. I started my day off pretty late. I woke up around 0900 and didn’t feel too well. I went back to sleep, and woke up to text messages around 1100. Spent time just relaxing in bed and resting. I decided to study for a little then I decided go to church. 

I wasn’t planning on going to church, but I did. I really miss it. It was nice going to church. As I was sitting and listening to the choir and the preaching all I could think about is that “I missed so much.” This year I probably went to church less than 15 times. I’m not proud of it, I honestly used school, and work as excuses of not going to church. 

Looking back I was at my best and happiest when I was going to church consistently and helping out on the bus ministry. I’m thankful for friends that still asked me to come to church or go to special events. He probably won’t see this post, but one of my good friends Jeremiah Ramos has been one of the few people I look up to and respect. He lives a genuine life, and I know he’s not perfect, but the best thing about him is that he doesn’t try to put up a facade or front of how much he goes to church. The way I he lives his life, you can tell he loves church and serving. 

1. Church

2. discord app

Body Weight: 186 lbs 

Sqauts: 135x1x6,185x4x3

Stiff Leg Deadlifts: 225x4x5

Leg extensions: 105x4x15

hip abductors: 70x3x10

hip adductors: 70x3x10

I’m excited to start vlogging. These past months I’ve always said I’ll start once I have enough money to buy good equipment, but I realized I don’t need expensive equipment to capture moments of my life. A point and shoot camera is completely fine. Justin Escalona described it just perfect. He goes onto say “...you don’t really need amazing equipment to make good content, what really matters is that you have a good story, and that it’s unique...”

I recently went to the playstation experience in Anaheim and it was amazing. Justin said in one of his videos, “The ability to capture genuine moments is really beautiful.” 

The past three years I could say that I was consistent with studying. I still struggle with wanting to studying, but if I need to study I’ll get it done. There are other aspects of my life that haven’t been as consistent, such as the gym, nutrition, and sleep pattern. 

Starting today I plan to make it a priority to go to the gym and train. I plan to keep myself accountable by logging my workouts on here daily and also my instagram. I also plan to log my days off. 

I also plan to start my days no later than 0800. I plan to wake up earlier than 0800, but I think it’s a good place to start.

Nutrition may be the most difficult for me to be consistent, but I plan to log whatever goes into my mouth. I’m going to be using myfitnesspal to log my meals and count macros. 

1. Nikkei 

2. Late night boba runs