#5.15.17

When you struggle with things like depression, serious anxiety, heavy insecurities that play into mood instability, etc., it’s easy to think that even when you’re in a loving relationship; how can someone love me? The irrevocable love is fierce but being an anxiety/panic attack person it can always be in the back of your mind, that voice, regardless of if you want it. So remembering that you’re loved is easy even if your mind wars with it.

My fiancé (crazy getting used to that!) chose to propose to me at a completely surprising time. I felt like I wasn’t “together enough” to be proposed to - even though we’ve been together/lived together/loved together for over seven years. I was of course teary and had to ask “why now?” And she said simply - because she loves every part of me. Even the darkness, she always sees the light shining through and accepts the parts of me I try so hard to work on; the parts of me I can barely or can’t control. It’s amazing, to be loved so purely. It’s humbling to be loved by someone I’ve been falling in love with every single day for over 7 years. It’s amazing to realize - yes, I can be reminded to love myself by every moment of every day giving my heart to someone else and being so truly loved by someone else.

"Tunnel Vision"