#4reumwrites!!

the camera points to the suchwita set, visually the same save for the higher budget for props. the table is empty, its own host nowhere to be seen. through the screen, the audience is confused.

until they hear him.

"ah, suchwita," yoongi steps into frame with his tablet of information and sits on his designated chair. the crew from behind the cameras applaud loudly, causing the host to widen his eyes before hiding his face behind the tablet.

"yah, hajima, hajima!" yoongi swats at the camera and the crew erupts in laughter. his accent coming out roughly as he waves off the crew. his professional expression returns to finally start off his show again.

"it's been so long, did you miss me?" yoongi smiles towards his specific camera, "because I know i've missed being here. by the time this comes out, bts' new album 'arirang' will be released, so please give it a lot of love, because we all worked very hard on it." he unfolds the tablet to hold itself up on the table.

"now, before we introduce our first guest after bts' comeback, i'd like to say how this person has helped to shape bts to what it is now, and has been a constant ever since our debut."

"yah, just introduce me already!" a blurry shot of your figure can be seen covering your face in embarrassment at the amount of praise you're getting. yoongi laughs, hand on his stomach before turning back to his tablet.

"okay, okay," he scrolls up to glance at your information, "today's guest," yoongi smiles as he reads your name, his eyes flicking up to meet yours momentarily before focusing back on the tablet.

“a well-known global choreographer who has been one of the main choreographers for bts ever since their debut." yoongi gasps dramatically as if he were reading this information for the first time.

flashes of your practice videos show up on the screen; one of you teaching bts the choreography for the chorus of mic drop, then one of you guiding an american singer, then a picture of you together with bts during their final practice before their military service, suspiciously close to yoongi.

yoongi's eyes glance over your small note and he chuckles before even properly reading it.

“i've been wanting to be on suchwita ever since yoongi wanted to do it, but he said that me booking a table before the rest of his members would seem like favouritism.” he laughs again before standing up and inviting you to enter the frame.

smoothing out your outfit with your hand and holding your bag full of drinks with the other, you entered with an amused smile, walking over to your seat that's across from yoongi. you set your bag down, but you and yoongi stay standing.

without a second thought, you walk over to hug yoongi, which he happily reciprocates. yoongi momentarily stops himself a little before smiling at you as the two of you pull away.

videos of the boy group learning choreography from you pop up again, this time its a video of you laughing at the maknae line's antics as they crowd around the hyung line and spin around them as the hyungs take five.

the two of you pull apart and take your respective seats, “yoongi-ah, it's about time you have me on this show.”

yoongi smiles, “noona,” he tests the word. you chuckle slightly, a little caught off guard, “your appearance on suchwita has been held off for quite a while.”

“gee, I wonder why,” you rolled your eyes playfully, earning that gummy smile from yoongi again that you adore.

“you've been quite busy since our military service, isn't that right?” he crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. you nod with a smile, “yeah, i've gained a name internationally and during your guys’ temporary absence, i've had the pleasure of choreographing for other famous names in the industry,” you cross your legs as you explained with a proud smile, nervously adjusting your hair as you did so.

as you speak, the screen displays names of the artists that you've worked with, both in korea and overseas as well. the list of names is quite long, despite you only being away from bts for only a few years.

“ah, so you forgot about us? you have a different favourite group now?” yoongi leans his head on his hand, a smug smile on his face as you scoff, almost offended.

"please, you know no one could ever replace you guys for me. you're just too unforgettable." you chuckle softly, causing yoongi to cough, awkwardly looking away at your comment.

"right, so—" yoongi clears his throat to prepare for his next few sentences, "i'd just like to thank you for everything you've done for bts. people don't know this but you've been with us for very long and were always there every step of the way, even coming to our shows and polishing our choreographies for stage rehearsals."

"people also don't know that you've also helped with some of our solo career choreographies," he continued, which causes you to smile.

"um— just yours, actually."

yoongi freezes a little before smiling, looking at the floor for a little before looking back at you, "right, just mine."

pictures of you and yoongi pop up on the screen as he says this; one of you on stage telling him where to stand, one of the two of you in the studio, and another studio picture but it's one of you, watching as yoongi rehearsed the choreography in front of you.

"what im trying to say is, we all looked up to you because you're very hardworking. even for our new songs coming out, you've been working very hard on those too."

your ears turn a slight shade of red, and you notice yoongi's do too. "aish, min yoongi!" you stand up abruptly, turning to the crew, "yah, the show hasn't even started and already he's flustering me! and i haven't even had anything to drink yet!"

"hey! noona, sit down!" yoongi laughs, covering his face with his hands. you cross your arms and begrudgingly sit back down, "...can i introduce my drink now?"

yoongi turns to the camera, "yes, you can. we brought back my favourite part of suchwita, where guests bring their own drinks, usually alcohol. per noona's demand, we have some korean fried chicken to eat with your drink choice," yoongi says as the camera cuts to the table full of food from your favourite korean fried chicken place.

with help from yoongi, you both made quick work to unpack the two bottles of soju, a bottle of beer, a whole eight pack of yakult and two chilsung ciders.

"so, i brought all the things to make a yogurt soju," you smiled at the ingredients, cracking open the cold chilsung ciders as yoongi unwrapped the packs of yakult.

"yogurt soju is actually the first drink i shared with yoongi. I made it for him, that and somaek (soju+beer), which is why I also brought some beer just in case you wanted somaek instead." you smiled sheepishly as you unscrewed the soju bottles.

"why did you bring so much? you know that you're a lightweight, noona," yoongi practically complains, sighing frustratedly. you shrugged with a dorky smile, "oh, c'mon, i only brought enough for me to get tipsy at most."

yoongi rolls his eyes with a smile, remembering when you two shared a yogurt soju.

—

at first, you were super shy, not even really bothering to speak to them unless you were spoken to and to just teach them the dance and move on with your day. you had just started working with them, so you couldn't expect much.

until one day, hobi came up to you to compliment your dance and teaching style, saying your instructions were straightforward and simple enough for everyone to get it.

jungkook was quick to agree, and suddenly all of them were crowded around you, calling you 'noona' without hesitation.

slowly and surely, you began getting comfortable with everyone. gathering input from jimin and hobi, sometimes driving jungkook to school together with the hyungs and during promotions, you'd stick around to chat with the boys that hadn't taken pictures yet.

"yoongi-ah!" the 23 year old you called out to the freshly 21 year old yoongi. you had only been with the boys for about a year at this point, still trying to see if you could land a permanent job as their choreographer.

it was the weekend, and you had invited the hyung line over for drinks. during a conversation with yoongi, you had come to realise that the two of you hadn't drank together before, which was weird since the two of you had begun to get close.

"yes?" yoongi practically ran over as soon as you called his name, and you passed him the yogurt soju, "you up for a drink?"

"oh— um..." he shyly scratches the back of his neck and you clocked his sentence immediately. although yoongi was 21 in korean age, he still didn't have that much time to drink since he had to balance his idol life too, which made his tolerance pretty low, "ah, right! don't worry, there's like barely any soju in here. but you don't have to drink it if you don't want to, no pressure." you smiled softly, and yoongi's heart skips a beat.

he glances at namjoon, who seems to be just taking shots of soju with jin, while hobi simply nurses a beer. you, on the other hand, have another yogurt soju on the table for yourself.

with a little hesitation, he takes the drink from your hands and takes a sip, and you're right, it just tastes like yakult and chilsung. and it's pretty good.

throughout the rest of the night, yoongi tries to add a little more alcohol each time, trying not to overdo it. he even tried soju and beer together, since that was what you had moved onto drinking.

and ever since then, he never turned down any of your invitations to drink together.

—

"here, noona, let me help you make yours," yoongi stands up to help you, and you shake your head, "ah, no. it's okay, you don't have to—" your attempts to reach over to stop yoongi end when he gently grips your wrist, "yah, just let me do it."

you sigh, knowing that there's no changing his mind. you roll your eyes with a smile, "how's it like coming back to suchwita? must be surreal right?"

"that and bts as a whole, actually," yoongi fills both of your cups with ice. you smile as he makes your drinks for you. he makes quick work to pour the soju about halfway into the cups, then some yakult, and then finally the chilsung to top it off.

"the promotions have been pretty hectic. actually, everything has been pretty hectic; if i were to be honest," he sighs in frustration, and you smile sadly.

"I don't know how you manage to keep up with such cramped schedules," you tilted your head towards him as yoongi hands you your drink.

"yeah, well," yoongi glances up from his drink to make eye contact with you, "I have people that help me get through it," he smiles, before looking away. and suddenly to him the fried chicken on the table looks very interesting.

"ah, really? these people sound special." you tease as you hold up your cup, waiting for yoongi to cheers you. he shyly meets your eyes, "sure are."

clink!

—

"so," yoongi starts off as he places a few pieces of chicken onto your own plate as you help to take off the top of the chicken radish container, "when you started working with us, you weren't really a talkative person, right?"

"yeah, that's right," you chuckled a little, crossing your legs as you adjusted your sitting position, "it was a little after your debut when i was hired, and i didn't know anyone."

"i really hated meeting new people. i still do, but that's not the point," you shrugged with a smile. yoongi laughs, as if a memory suddenly popped up in his head. you tilted your head with a grin, "why?"

"i remember that everyone was insanely intimidated by you; even jin hyung, and he's only a year younger than you," yoongi says before taking a bite of the chicken that you helped to put on his plate. you gasped, "no they weren't!"

"seriously! everyone," yoongi deadpanned to the camera, "during the first few weeks of our debut, noona would come into the big hit studio with a black cap and sweat suits every single practice. it was terrifying. it was our first time seeing such a professional."

"it wasn't that bad," you thought over it again while chewing on a piece of chicken, "...okay well, when you combine that and the 'only-giving-you-guys-instructions-and-not-talking', I can maybe see what you guys mean."

"like i said," yoongi smiled smugly, "terrifying."

you rolled your eyes playfully, "yeah, yeah."

—

clink!

and there goes two shots of straight soju. you hold the bottle up to read the flavour that you honestly didn't care to look at when you bought it, "oh, this flavour is pretty good, no?"

"can we continue with the interview questions now? or are you planning to inhale that whole bottle?" yoongi winces with his head tilted, causing you to chuckle, "right, sorry. continue."

"anyways," yoongi passes a piece of chicken towards you since he had noticed that your plate was empty, "i've always wanted to ask this question, actually."

"oh, really?" you tilted your head with a smile, "and what question is that?"

"do you ever get tired of seeing the same seven people?" yoongi crosses his arms, almost proud of the question that he had thought of. you laughed loudly, covering your mouth as you did so.

"wow, you really—do you want me to answer this honestly?" you raised an eyebrow as you took a bite of your chicken.

"of course, that's what this show is for!" yoongi looks around at the crew with his arms open. you smile at his actions, before humming in thought as you chose your next words.

"promise you won't be offended?" you held up your pinky towards him, wiggling your finger with a teasing grin. yoongi raises an eyebrow in speculation, glancing at the cameras as if to ask the audience 'you seeing this?'.

hesitantly, yoongi inches closer to the table and interlocks his pinky with yours, "yeah, yeah. promise."

you chuckle, "alright, to be completely honest," you look around at the crew, who seemed just as interested in your answer as yoongi is, "...after a few years into my job, sometimes—yeah, i was a little tired of your guy's bickering. you guys were all stubborn in your own ways."

"yah..." yoongi smirks at the camera, a little shocked that you actually provided an honest answer.

"but," you continued, catching the attention of everyone in the room, "it wasn't tiring because it was the same seven people."

"then?" yoongi asks with a slight confused frown. you smile a little, knowing what words you wanted to say next.

"it was because it was you seven," you chuckled, "anyone who deals with you guys knows how tiring it gets when all of you are in the same room."

the crew members laugh, some of them nodding intensely while the rest state that they agree with you. yoongi pouts a little at the sudden noise, facing the staff that all seemed to take your side.

"so you do get tired, is what you're saying?" yoongi asks as you refill his drink with a smile on your face.

"i didn't say that." yoongi tilts his head in confusion.

"you said sometimes."

"well, yeah. i get tired of the bickering," you reached for your yogurt soju, "not the people." you took a sip from your glass with a satisfied smile.

the staff members chuckle, some of them giving small wow's at your answer.

yoongi stays silent, a little shocked at your words. then, when he realises the cameras are still rolling, he clears his throat.

"that's...a good answer. everyone, we have a dangerous guest here." yoongi grins as he gains a couple of laughs from the crew behind the cameras. you smile a little, "thank you, yoon."

"oh," yoongi is a little flustered at the nickname you had so easily called him in front of the cameras. this is how yoongi could tell you were starting to get a little tipsy. the crew gives a couple of aww's, flustering yoongi even more.

"right let's um—let's continue with the questions."

—

"noona?" yoongi calls out. no answer. he tilts his head in confusion. he sighs.

yoongi then calls out your name softly, raising his hand in front of you, and that seems to do the trick.

"hm?" you blink rapidly out of your trance and realise that yoongi is waving his hand in front of you. shit, did you just zone out on camera? god, you didn't remember your tolerance being this low.

you smile sheepishly, "sorry, what did you say?" you scratched your neck, feeling a little awkward. yoongi just smiles and waves it off, "yah, don't be sorry. I was just asking you a question and i lost you a little there," he chuckled slightly.

"ah really? what was the question?" in your peripheral vision, you noticed some of the crew members moving around a lot, most likely trying to get comfortable.

"well, the question was—and this is a brutal one, but which bts member is the best dancer? and a bonus one, who do you love hanging out with the most?"

you practically went silent. your eyes widened as you looked to the cameras in disbelief, "what?" you laughed a little at the question.

"hey," yoongi raised his hands in mock surrender, "these questions were the only ones provided by the staff. just saying," he smiles, still interested in your answer.

you shook your head with a smile, "these questions are mean, yoon." yoongi laughs while taking a sip from his drink, "don't hate the player, hate the game."

at his comment, you groaned before trying to think of an answer. your mind went through all seven members before one of the staff members temporarily pauses the shoot.

"ah, sorry," one of the managers raises their hand behind the camera, which catches the attention of both you and yoongi, "but can we fix your guys' mics? it's cutting off a little bit."

you and yoongi share a glance of confusion before you nodded, "oh, yeah. of course, no worries." you stood up, lifting your top ever so slightly so that the staff could adjust your mic pack. yoongi did the same, both of you awkwardly facing your backs to the camera.

while looking around to admire the new set, yoongi aims an 'off-camera' question to you.

"do you wanna come with me to the music video shoot tomorrow?" he tilts his head towards you, but doesn't fully turn to you. you open your mouth to answer before you looked at him, amused.

"yoon, im your choreographer. i'll be there anyways." you smiled after watching yoongi process what you had just said and scratched his neck awkwardly, "oh...right."

"we can go together, though. i mean—i have to be there way earlier than you, but—"

"i don't mind. let's go together," yoongi smiles at you and you return it, before you switch to a small frown, "um, does fixing the mic pack usually take this long?"

you turn around and practically yelped, because the staff member that was fixing your mic pack had suddenly been replaced with jungkook, who had just let go of your microphone's wire with a laugh.

"noona!" jungkook exclaimed, opening his arms to engulf you in a hug. you pat his back a couple of times, still a little confused.

your eyes drift over to yoongi, who is currently trying to escape the grasp of taehyung and jimin while namjoon, jin and hobi are waving at you with big smiles.

"yah, hajima!" you heard yoongi shout out as he continued to fend off the two maknaes. you laugh a little before letting go of jungkook, "guys, that's enough."

jimin and taehyung pause before coming over to your side of the table to greet you. yoongi looks at everyone in confusion, "what are you guys doing here?"

"we're here to hang out with you guys!" jungkook smiles widely as namjoon comes over to give you a hug as well. yoongi simply frowns, "andwae."

"c'mon hyung," namjoon defends as he stands next to you, "it's your first suchwita shoot since the military! and noona is the special guest, we should all eat and drink together!"

yoongi glances at the staff, "is this why you guys ordered so much chicken?" a couple of cheeky nods from behind the camera caused him to sigh.

the staff members came out from behind the cameras to pass more bottles of alcohol to jin and hobi, who place the bottles on the table.

you smile at yoongi, "sounds fun, right?"

yoongi sighs defeatedly, "...fine, you guys can stay." the members cheered, each of them taking chairs to sit around the table.

—

on your side of the table was the maknae line, while namjoon, hobi and jin sat by yoongi.

"uwah, you guys even have your makeup done," you examined jimin, noticing the slightest bit of foundation.

"of course we have to look good for your suchwita debut, noona." jin teases with a grin, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

"oh, what question were the two of you on?" hobi asks as he adjusts himself in his seat. the maknae line that are on your side of the table make quick work to give food and make drinks for the other six members.

"ah, right. the question full of evil intentions," you chuckled a little as you met yoongi's eyes after your comment. his eyes instantly crinkle, displaying his own defensive expression while smiling.

"aigo, it wasn't evil!" yoongi breaks the eye contact to face the camera so that they could see his frown. he sighs, "it was a question about who's the best dancer out of the seven of us."

once yoongi explained what the question was, all eyes were on you and all the boys (except for yoongi) exclaimed their own renditions of 'huh?!'.

"geurae? noona, it's me right?" jimin points to himself, leaning towards you with what can only be described as sparkles in his eyes. you open your mouth to answer but taehyung shoves jimin a little in offense, "aniya, it's me. she loves teaching me the most."

jungkook shakes his head furiously, "hah, as if!" the three continue to bicker and your eyes meet yoongi's mischievous ones, and you mouth 'see? evil.'

you stop the boys from going for each other's throats, chuckling a little, "i think all of you guys are great dancers," you paused a little.

"however...i think we all know that hobi is basically your guys' choreographer at this point, so that answers yoongi's question." you shrugged while the maknae line groaned. the hyung line simply chuckled and hobi shyly thanked you, not expecting such a straightforward answer.

"and what about the bonus question?" yoongi grinned, tilting his head as you glared playfully at him. the other members seemed to perk up again.

"bonus question?" namjoon asked, looking in between the both of you to try and get an answer. you sighed, "who i love hanging out with the most."

"yah, that's such an easy one!" hobi laughed as you said the question out loud. jin and jungkook shared a teasing glance.

"we all know the answer is suga-hyung!" jungkook chuckled, nudging you in the shoulder. you laughed nervously, covering your face with your hands as the rest of the boys agreed loudly.

yoongi winced at the camera before crossing his arms and chuckling to himself. his eyes rested on you, who is still embarrassed by the teasing from the other members.

slowly, you lifted your head up to face the staff, "we're cutting this part out, right?" a couple of unsure shrugs from behind the camera causes you to sigh before locking eyes with yoongi.

"i mean—" yoongi grins.

"no." you glared. "they're not wrong," yoongi finished, which had all of the members laughing, some of them clapping when yoongi admitted it. you sighed, shaking your head with a smile.

"okay, let's make it fair and rephrase the question," taehyung announced to the whole group, gaining a couple of confused looks, "noona, who do you love hanging out with the most besides suga-hyung?"

"ah, daebak." namjoon gives taehyung a thumbs up while the rest await your answer. you think about it for a moment before smiling a little.

"i'm actually close to all of you, so it's hard to pick just one member. but recently, i've been hanging out with jin more often." you glanced at jin who smiled softly, "ah, that's true."

the other members nodded, some of them going 'ahh' after hearing your answer.

"oh, noona. you're really good at this interview thing," jimin's eyes widened a little before he started snacking on the food on his plate. you smiled, "ah, it's nothing. i had a lot of experience from working overseas."

"yeah. noona's english is better than namjoon's at this point." hobi teased. you held your hands up defensively, "oh—i don't know about that."

"it's actually true. i've had a few conversations with her in english and she's way more fluent than i am." namjoon explained to the rest of the group, shocked at your fluency.

"ah, thank you, joonie. that means a lot," you nodded shyly. yoongi smiled softly at your response to namjoon's compliment.

"okay, before we wrap things up," yoongi straightened his back, turning on his host voice, "noona, would you like to say anything to the viewers watching?"

"oh! um..." you fidgeted with your fingers a little before looking directly into your camera, "give these boys a lot of support for their new album! they've been working very hard and they deserve it. stream 'arirang' on any music platform." you give your camera two thumbs up and a small smile.

yoongi chuckles a little at how adorable you look, before being nudged by namjoon, "let's toast one last drink together before we wrap up!"

everyone held up their glasses in the middle. "okay! uri maknae, give us something to toast to!" namjoon exclaimed, causing everyone to laugh.

"here's to the first comeback episode of suchwita, and to noona for making sure that all of us do our best for our tour!" jungkook practically yelled out his cheers, laughing while doing so.

"geonbae!" all of you clinked your glasses together and enjoyed the last on-camera drink of the shoot.

the director says 'cut!' and yoongi gets up from his seat to start thanking everyone for their hard work. you follow suit, thanking everyone for having you on set.

you and yoongi are the first to get your mics off, making small talk while doing so, before you walk up to the rest of the members, "hey, guys. me and yoon are gonna go home first. we'll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?"

"ah, noona! can i hangout at your place?" jungkook perks up and raises his hand, which you find endearing.

"what? why?" yoongi walks up next to you, leaning towards you slightly. jungkook shrugs with a slight pout, "just 'cause?"

"me too! i wanna hang out!" jimin hops next to jungkook with his hand up, imitating what jungkook was doing a couple moments ago. "i wanna hang out too!" taehyung appears on the other side of jungkook, his hand also raised.

jin, hobi and namjoon laugh, waving you and yoongi off as they all headed home and left the two of you to deal with the three younger members.

"you three wanna come over?" yoongi raises an eyebrow and the three of them nod in sync. you chuckle slightly before resting a hand on yoongi's shoulder, "guys, you have an early schedule tomorrow. you need rest."

"noona, hyung, jebal," jungkook pleads slightly while the other two put on their best puppy-eyed expressions. you and yoongi share a glance of hesitation before yoongi cracks first.

"fine," he sighs, "we'll make some dinner for you." you smiled amusingly at how quickly yoongi folded for the maknaes. the three celebrated and followed the two of you as you headed out to the car assigned for the both of you.

"i didn't expect you to give in that quickly." you mused, nudging yoongi's shoulder. he rolled his eyes playfully, "you would've said no. i'm not as strict as you are." yoongi wraps an arm around your shoulders as you reach the parking lot.

you gasp, hitting yoongi's chest, "i'm not strict!"

"sure you aren't."

—

a couple months later...

—

YouTube

[슈취타] EP.28 SUGA with _____

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user23: bye is this a soft launch because what did i just watch

heartsforjin: SHE CALLED HIM YOON?? HELLO??? ELEPHANT IN ROOM???

armyest2015: omg my heart... they love their noona so much

btsfan01: him forgetting they work together when he asked her to come with him... respectfully is this casual bc i dont think so...

borahae134340: the small acts of service in this video is so cute oh my god even if they aren't together they seem like such good friends they're so adorable

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—

the suchwita episode airs while yoongi is making the two of you dinner and you're in the living room, scrolling on your phone. one of the things that you had noticed is that your instagram had been blowing up, with armies tagging you in multiple reels of you and yoongi 'flirting' and more followers than you could keep up with.

how did the boys ever get used to this much attention? you thought as you chuckled a little, looking through the comments of the youtube video.

"what're you laughing at?" yoongi calls from the kitchen. his voice is a little drowned out since the two of you had been watching a series on the tv before he started cooking.

"the fans think you have a girlfriend again," you smiled smugly, looking through twitter for a little and laughing some more. yoongi walks out of the kitchen with a clay pot of kimchi stew and utensils for both of you.

"yeah? who is it this time?" he rolled his eyes playfully as he sets the pot and utensils on the living room table, where the two of you opted to eat dinner at. you paused the show on the tv before facing yoongi.

"me. the suchwita episode aired today," you showed yoongi your phone that displayed the youtube comments full of speculations of your relationship, "i think this one might stick a little longer, yoonie."

"oh, i forgot it was airing today," yoongi's eyes glance over a couple of the comments before he breaks out into a grin, "well, they wouldn't be wrong this time. now, would they?"

"hm. i guess not," you shrugged. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed tang had come over to see what was going on, before jumping onto your lap. you cooed at the black cat, "tangieee!" the cat trills in response, slowly closing his eyes as you pat his head.

yoongi's gaze softens before he heads back into the kitchen to get the two of you some bowls of rice, "can you read some of those comments?"

"yeah, sure," you directed your attention to your phone screen while continuing to give tang soft pets, "suga can't handle allat (he probably could...)" you laugh, the vibrations from your laughter prompting tang to start purring.

yoongi chuckles as he emerges from the kitchen again, "are all the comments about the armies thirsting over you?" he sets the bowls of rice on the table before sitting next to you, peering at the comments over your shoulder.

you scrolled down a little, glazing over some of the top comments, "some of them are pretty similar, i think i saw one that said 'he can't take all of us', or something like that," you turned your head towards yoongi who seemed offended.

"what? i totally could." he pouts a little, wrapping an arm around your shoulder while his other hand pets tang, who is half-asleep on your lap.

"mhm, sure you could," you pressed a kiss to yoongi's cheek, and yoongi is taken aback for a moment before he smiles softly, kissing your cheek in return.

you continued to scroll through the comments before you paused for a moment, "yoon?"

"mm?"

"were we a little too obvious? what if us revealing our connection starts bringing you guys hate again?" you leaned your head on your boyfriend's shoulder with a small frown. yoongi looked at you and reached over to turn off your phone.

"who cares what they think? we never explicitly stated we were together in the video. we were just teasing, it's up to the audience to interpret what they think and that's out of our control."

"and also," yoongi continued, "im positive armies wouldn't care that we were dating. if anything, they'd be supportive."

"really?" you got up to face yoongi, tang getting up to rest on the other side of you. yoongi raised an eyebrow, "of course. why not?"

you rolled your eyes playfully before returning to your place next to yoongi, "thanks yoon." yoongi hums in acknowledgement as you turn your phone back on to read youtube comments.

you chuckle, "yoongi marry me," you read out the comment.

"course i will."

"what?" you got back up to face yoongi, who looked just as confused as you were, "huh? what?"

you showed him the comment that you were reading out loud and yoongi simply laughed, "oops."

you looked at yoongi in disbelief before laughing yourself, "oops?" yoongi shrugs in response, sitting up after you before he softly holds your jaw to guide you towards him, slowly closing the distance with a kiss.

you return the kiss with a small smile before pulling away with an amused expression. yoongi grins, "just something for you to think about. if you're ready."

"you wanna marry me?" you tilted your head with a big grin while it was yoongi's turn to look at you in disbelief, as if it wasn't obvious from the start.

"jagiya, i've been chasing after you ever since i was mature enough to make my own decisions." yoongi's hand rests on your jaw, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.

you chuckled, "wow, jagiya? wait till dispatch hears about this," you joked, still not being used to yoongi calling you that even if its the only thing he calls you when the two of you are alone.

yoongi sighs, "let's eat before the food gets cold." yoongi tries to deflect, but you notice the blush rushing to his ears as he starts to fluff up the rice in his bowl. you can't help but laugh again.

"i can't believe i'm the one that gets min yoongi to say yes to the infamous 'yoongi marry me'. you must be so smitten, aren't you— mmp!" your tease was cut short after yoongi shoved a spoon of rice and stew into your mouth with an amused grin.

you glared at yoongi, who chuckled a little before giving you a peck on the cheek, "you're lucky i love you."

your glare softened at his confession.

"i wulv wou foo, ftupid."

"chew your food, you're gonna choke."

"ofay."

©️ 4reumskingdom

taglist: @magnoliainnmay @spideybv28 @namgimini @forever-atiny @ohnaurshayla

➽──────────────────────────────❥

you were reserved. everyone who ever came to know you knew that you were. so when you had gotten a follow-up call from ian hecox about being hired as a cast member those almost eleven years ago, you were quite truthfully confused. but as they say, opportunities come when you least expect it. and you definitely hadn't expected that one.

not to say it was all bad. sure, it took a long time to get used to everyone. watching newcomers come aboard the smoffice, holding parties for those who left, the list goes on and on.

now, you had your tight-knit group of friends; the cast members. they looked after you, each other, everyone in the office. they especially congratulated you when you were promoted to work with the games channel closely. alongside your close friend spencer, of course.

the two of you were inseparable. always walking to the games set together, having dinner in each other's houses to discuss ideas for smosh games videos and hang out, even being on videos with each other most of the time (due to your unshakeable chemistry on camera)

it was a perfect dynamic; he would say the most out-of-pocket, horrendous things, and you would give him the snarkiest remark or shut him down in a way fans seemed to crave in every video. not to mention the two of you were one of smosh's iconic duos (right after courtney and shayne, of course).

of course, with all of this being aired to the public, your fans very obviously interpreted the friendship as something more. compilations of you two "flirting", the fans would label it as, quickly made their way onto the Internet.

you didn't mind, it's not like anything was happening between the two of you so you let the fans be as they are. sometimes, spencer and you would even feed the fans, letting them know specific stories that the two of you experienced together. it was fun, comfortable even.

until the unexpected came.

.

you were getting ready to join angela, shayne and chanse at the games stage, who were talking mindlessly while waiting for the 'staring contest livestream' to start. horrible idea, by the way. you don't know what alex and spencer were smoking when they agreed to shayne's wacky idea.

"what the hell, spence, i did not agree to be here." you grumble with an iced coffee in hand, waiting for spencer to strap up your microphone to your shirt. he smiles to himself.

"well, you'd bring a great vibe to the live if you keep acting like that." he clips the microphone to your shirt, his eyes lingering on yours a little longer and his smile a little softer to be considered friendly.

"i've told you how stupid i think this idea is." you roll your eyes, setting your arms down to behave normally, taking a sip from your coffee before handing it to him so that you could sit down at the table. spencer grabs your wrist softly. "all the time, just try not to show it too much on camera, yeah?" he says lightheartedly, knowing you were going to do the exact opposite.

"you know i'm going to ignore what you just said." you smile softly before sitting down next to chanse who gives you a knowing glance. you scoff, pushing his face away which he responds with a groan.

.

"are you turning me bald again?"

"if i turned you bald you'd lose all your fans," you mused, standing behind spencer as you softly snipped the hair on the back of his head, "and i'd have to look at your bald head all day, so don't worry. your hair is fine." you softly blowed at his neck, ridding of the extra hairs which caused a shiver to run down spencer's spine.

when he told you he wanted to get a haircut, you slightly frowned. his hair was nice enough as it is, but you had to agree it was getting quite long. as long as he didn't get a bowl cut or a buzz cut, you'd be happy with it.

the real kicker was when he asked you to cut his hair for him, coming up with an excuse along the lines of-

"my barber's out of town." spencer says, chilling on your sofa as the two of you finished eating homestate for dinner. you tilt your head at him in confusion, "I could always bring you to a different one?"

"well yeah, but where's the adventure in that? you can cut hair, right?"

"I mean, yeah but-"

"I trust you with my hair more than a stranger." and there it was; that smile. god, did it make you fold everytime.

you groan before standing up. walking to your bathroom. you pause midway, turning around to meet spencer's eyes, "c'mon before I change my mind." spencer practically jumps off the sofa to join you.

and here you were, picking up a shaver before carefully shaving a little off the sides of spencer's head. spencer, ever the restless one, tries to catch a glance of what you're doing but you grab his chin and make him face forward. "if you move again, I'm going to give you a mohawk."

"that'd be a killer look, don't tempt me." he smiles, and you break out into a small laugh. "shut up."

"yes ma'am." You roll your eyes playfully before going back to trimming the sides of spencer's hair. after you decide that it's enough, you blow again, that same shivering feeling crawling up his spine.

then, you move to face spencer. "hi." he mutters. you smile, "hey." you reach for your hair scissors before focusing on the front of spencer's hair, making sure to add a significant amount of layers. as you trimmed the front of his hair, spencer can't help but stare at you.

the way you gently combed through his hair to find strands that were a little off so that you could trim them, the way your eyes narrowed in concentration, the way you bit your lip to ground yourself whenever you were focused.

"you're good at this." spencer breaks the silence and you physically freeze. but only for a moment.

"you haven't even seen your hair yet." you take your eyes off of spencer's hair to look at his eyes– his eyes that were already looking into yours.

"right. you just–you seem like you're doing a really good job."

you scoff in amusement, going back to trimming spencer's hair. as you snipped the final strand, you combed through his hair to get rid of any extra hair, and spencer leans into your touch.

"all done." you stand up, swiping off any extra hairs that clung to spencer's shirt.

"woah–it looks so good." spencer says as he glances in the mirror

"is it bad that I wanted that to last forever?" spencer smiles, his grin wide from ear to ear. you roll your eyes, not fighting the smile tugging on your own lips.

"I seem to have that effect on people."

"I believe that."

.

the two of you clean up the hair trimmings on the floor before heading back to your sofa. spencer decided to stay a little longer than he usually does, something along the lines of you going, "stay for a movie?" with a tone so sweet and unnatural from your usual character that makes it hard to say no. so he does. he stays.

for one movie, he tries so hard to remind himself. just one movie and i'll go.

yeah, okay spencer.

3 movies in, your head is on spencers shoulder and his arm is around yours. by complete coincidence, by the way. but neither of you make the effort to move. you can hear spencers heart beating slightly faster than normal which makes you wonder if you should be treading this line.

just focus on the movie, you tell yourself. i shouldnt have asked him to stay, this is way too intimate. you bite the insides of your cheek.

a cringy scene comes up, and right as you turn to look at spencer, a joke on the tip of your tongue ready to be said, you pause and your sly grin fades when you see him already looking at you, and before you know it, he leans in.

the kiss is soft, and as much as you hate to say it; you were enjoying it. your eyes started to flutter close before you remembered how bad this situation was. red-sirens-flashing-in-your-brain bad. so you shoved him off and stood up abruptly.

"i think..." you dragged on, face flushed red as spencer looked at you confusedly, "i think you should go."

"sorry, was that too-"

"no, um. no, it was- you know its getting late.. we have work tomorrow and its a shoot week, you know? so uh, thanks for coming," you say, panicked as you gather spencers things. spencer follows you around as you slowly spiral, handing him his things.

you open your front door, gesturing for spencer to leave. he stares at you dumbfounded before nodding softly, "i guess i'll...see you tomorrow, then," his tone wasnt sad, or hurtful. it was almost understanding. like he knew that all you needed was to process the situation.

you closed the door behind him before sliding to the floor, hands in your hair.

"god, im such an idiot."

tomorrow would be an eventful day.

.

"hey, honey. you're a little off today, is everything okay?" courtney questions you in the office kitchen. your eyes go wide in front of the coffee maker, "off? im not off. im fine," it comes out a little harsher than expected, which makes courtney raise an eyebrow.

amanda and angela walk into the kitchen, bickering about something angela said during their last shoot probably. the two glance at you and courtney as you take a sip from your freshly brewed coffee.

"hey hun, why haven't i seen you with spencer all morning?" amanda asks, and suddenly your coffee goes down the wrong pipe. the three girls rush to you immediately as you cough on your drink.

"is that so? i didn't, um, notice." you smile awkwardly, hoping they would brush off the topic. that hope quickly washes away once they start giving you skeptical looks.

"what happened babe? did you guys have a fight?" angela questions, which causes you to laugh nervously.

"oh honey, dont worry. when shayne and i fight, all i do is i say poop repeatedly until he stops-"

"okay, courtney. first of all, love that. second of all: spencer and i aren't a married couple-"

"-yet." amanda chimes in, "and third-" you glare at amanda before continuing your sentence, "and third of all: we're technically not fighting."

"what do you mean you guys aren't fighting?" angela tilts her head in confusion.

"well, it's actually kind of- the opposite?"

"i...don't think we're following." amanda trails off, giving the floor to you. you breathe in to calm yourself, "promise this doesn't leave us?"

the three girls salute proudly, which makes you sigh. "okay, so...spencer and i may have....kissedlastnight."

you shrink while the three gasp at your statement in both surprise and happiness. "ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!" "this can't be real!" "are you serious?" the overlapping of voices couldn't even let you differentiate who said what.

"let me finish. we did kiss last night. however, i may have....completely freaked out and kicked him out of my apartment right after it happened."

gobsmacked. thats the expression you would use to describe the way the three looked at you.

"you freaked out? did you say sorry? is he hurt? like, emotionally? did you guys talk at all after that? who started the kiss? was it bad? is that why you kicked him ou-"

"angela, honey, one question at a time," amanda softly taps angelas shoulder, which she responds with a, "right. sorry,"

"um, i didn't say sorry. he wasn't hurt, he looked kind of...understanding? we haven't talked since the kiss. he started it. it wasn't...wasn't bad at all."

"then why did you kick him out?" amanda leans on the kitchen counter while you take another nervous sip of your coffee.

"um, i'm not really- not really sure." you swallowed.

"honey, not to pressure you or anything, but spencer's been having the hots for you since the two of you started working here," courtney rests a hand on your shoulder. you tilt your head, "wait what? how do you know that?"

"he told me- well, i found out from shayne, but even if, don't tell me you never saw the signs?"

thats what made you think about it. you tried to remember if you noticed any ounce of like that spencer had for you. that time you went to the fair together? no that seemed pretty friendly. your first introduction? totally work appropriate. that time spencer asked you to get dinner a month after being introduced? and you started the dinner off by saying it was your first time having a dinner with a co-worker? that was pretty- ah, shit.

"oh no. how could i be so stupid?" you cover your face with your hands, shaking your head in embarrassment. courtney smiled softly, removing your hands from your face, "honey, you're not stupid. emotions are weird sometimes."

"oh, definitely, dont sweat it babe," angela smiled, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"i should go talk to spencer, right?" you bit your lip nervously while the three nodded. amanda grinned, "and make sure to let us know what happens!"

you roll your eyes before grabbing your coffee cup and leaving the kitchen with a small wave.

.

"hey, dude! you ready to teach these guys how to play mine turtle?" alex tran smiles as you enter the games stage, which you roll your eyes at, "if you're ready to lose again, yeah."

then your eyes land on spencer, waiting patiently with his thermos of mountain dew kickstart in hand, giving you a small smile. your eyes widen, remembering that mine turtle was in his call sheet.

you clear your throat, taking a sip of your coffee before setting it down in the nearest table, "right, so today we're playing 'don't press that mine turtle', which is actually an asdfmovie reference,"

"and what's a...sdf?" amanda mutters, which spencer and alex laugh at while shayne gestures amanda to just let it go.

you continued to explain the rules of mine turtle, trying to ignore the burning feeling of spencer's eyes on you quite literally the whole time. amanda and angela notice, giving you nervous looks. you simply smiled softly at them, letting them know that it was okay.

finally, after one trial round, they were ready for the shoot.

"hey," alex walks up next to the main camera where you happen to be standing, looking over the call sheet. your ears perk up and you give alex a small smile, "hey?"

"were you the one who gave spencer that haircut?" you freeze. laughing awkwardly, you try to hide your uneasiness, "yeah, what do you think?"

"killer, dude! he's been getting compliments all day." alex tran smiles as he sets up everything for the shoot.

you let yourself smile a little, "is that so?" a small chuckle as you scanned over the monitor that displayed all the cameras, making sure they were in their intended places.

"oh, for sure man. he's a total ladies man now!" alex says, almost teasingly directed at you. you bite your lip to ground yourself, masking your once flicker of jealousy with a calm expression and even calmer smile, "that's great, alex."

god this was killing you.

as the video started, your job was to make sure they didn't stray from the rules too much. but, let's be real, this was the smosh games set. they were definitely going to have some fun of their own.

after awkwardly telling the cast that they should read the card after angela's little card slide, the video seemed to be going swell.

shayne started being vulnerable after being given a 'be cringe' prompt, which gained a chuckle out of you, barely catching on the mic as the other guys and alex started cackling.

"press two, or, you got that nice new haircut," shayne muses as everyone in the room turns to you. you shrink slightly as shayne comments on how you were the one that gave him the haircut, "let me mess up your hair."

instantly, a camera pans to you, and you could feel everyone's stare as you thought about what to do. with a shy smile, you waved to the camera, giving a small wink.

the camera pans back to the cast as you let out a breath you were holding for a little longer than you'd like. spencer, silently watching your reaction, softly smiles before allowing shayne to mess it up.

and you couldn't lie, it looked good. you glanced at him for a little longer than you intended, but looked away right as he was about to meet your gaze, focusing on the cameras instead.

.

"okay, okay guys- stop pressing the button." you chuckled, after angela and amanda screamed at the turtle in sync. alex chuckled alongside you, trying to get them to calm down.

spencer's adoration for you gleamed in his eyes, admiring the sound of your laugh.

.

"MOVIEEESSSS!!" the entire room burst in laughter, hearing spencer finally shout for the first time.

you smiled in amusement, watching the cameras to take into account the best shot so that you could pitch it to the editors later.

after what seemed like not that long, the video was coming to an end. angela revisited the text she had sent to chanse. then, the four decided it would be fun to keep pressing the turtle until someone lost, declaring the loser of the whole video.

by the time it landed on spencer, the turtle exploded. cheers erupted from the other three as they exclaimed "MOVIESS!" to taunt the poor guy.

and with that, the video ended.

"and, cut! alright, nice, great job guys!" alex announced next to you before the cast and crew slowly left the set one by one to go eat lunch. the only people still there were you, alex and spencer.

spencer, who was still sitting in his seat, stood up to join you and alex, who were talking about other pitches that you might want to schedule for the next shoot week. your eyes widened slightly, noticing spencer's presence.

"hey alex, could'ya give us a moment?" spencer spoke up, and you nervously tugged on your sleeve as alex seemed oblivious to the tension, "yeah, of course! i'm gonna go get lunch."

"cool, i'll meet you there," spencer smiles at alex who leaves and you wave to the long haired brunette before being immediately aware that no one else was on or around set. great.

"so," spencer starts off, trying to gauge whether or not you were uncomfortable. you exhaled with a small smile, "movies, huh?"

he laughs, not expecting that to be your first sentence. you join him, easing the tension a little.

"right, right. movies," he chuckles at the end of his sentence. and suddenly the silence built back up. without a thought, you tried to speak up again,

"listen-"

"about last night-"

you and spencer tried to both speak at the same time. with an awkward smile, the two of you stopped. spencer gestured for you to continue your sentence.

you took a deep breath, "-um, i'm really sorry about kicking you out last night. that was definitely not how i wanted yesterday to end."

"well, yeah it wasn't the best reaction i was expecting, i can tell you that," spencer awkwardly chuckles. you smile a little softer, "okay, you go."

his eyes widened slightly, almost as if you were putting him on the spot, "right, uh-" he clears his throat nervously, "wait. you said that wasn't how you wanted it to end?"

"well...no, not necessarily," you avoided spencer's eye contact. he looked at you almost fondly, "how did you want yesterday to end?"

he said it with a sickly sweet smile which made you want to slap him and tell him your deepest darkest secrets at the same time. you groaned.

"stop looking at me like that, spence."

he laughs, "like what?"

"like- like i hang the stars? like you wanna get down on one knee and propose? like you want to confess your undying love for me!" your mind raced, and he was smiling. fuck, he was smiling. not out of amusement, or out of humour but out of affection.

pure, unfiltered affection.

"i like you. i have for a while, actually," he ended his confession with your name, "there, 'undying love' enough?"

your breath hitches, "you're- you-" you groaned, "you're impossible, agnew."

"well, i've been holding it in since 2014, so do with that what you will." he chuckles and god, you could feel your knees folding at the sound of his laugh.

"yeah, and i was too stupid to notice," you crossed your arms, huffing out of frustration. spencer hummed in acknowledgement, taking a step closer to you, "do you?"

your eyes flicker in confusion, tilting your head up before you realise just how close spencer stepped towards you, "do i what?"

"like me back?" you scoffed at his question, looking back down at your feet.

"maybe not as long as you have, cause, damn, 2014?" you laughed softly, causing spencer to laugh with you, tilting your head up with his hand, "yeah, not my proudest moment, i must say."

"i don't know, i think it's cute."

"you think i'm cute?"

"you know that's not what i said," you rolled your eyes playfully, "but sure. you're cute too, i guess."

"hey, what's with the 'i guess'? just admit it man." he laughs.

"spence, are ya gonna kiss me or not?" you tilt your head, looking up at spencer through your eyelashes with an amused smile. spencer clears his throat, his eyes darting to your lips for a second,

"right, right. just- gearin' up. you know, momentum and stuff. frankly, i think that if-" spencer didn't get to finish his sentence before you closed the distance, pulling him by the shirt.

instantly spencer smiles into the kiss, happy that you initiated it. his hands rested on your waist before he freezes, pulling back, "is- is this okay?" he glances at the hands on your waist. your eyes follow his line of vision, laughing a little at his stutter, "incredibly okay."

spencer sighs, "good, perfect. you're perfect. i mean- that's perfect."

you chuckle again before giving spencer another kiss but pulling away shorter than he'd like. he followed your lips before begrudgingly pulling away with a sigh.

"sorry, spence. we're at work."

"unfortunately," he smiles fondly at you. you smile back, letting go of him before walking towards the door to leave. spencer trails behind you, of course, trying to get rid of any evidence that you two might've kissed.

"we have to fill out that relationship form." spencer muses as the two of you leave the set room, walking towards the lunch area.

you chuckled, "could you go and find ian for that?"

"anything for you, m'lady." he tips his imaginary hat towards you as you rolled your eyes playfully.

➽──────────────────────────────❥

when jihoon had called you about 30 minutes ago, elaborating intently about how soonyoung had one five too many drinks, you rolled your eyes so hard the whole group could sense it through the phone.

"hey, um" his voice was slightly muffled by the amount of drunken shouting from other members, "your boyfriend, if you can even call him that right now, is insanely drunk again. you might want to pick him up before he stupidly injures himself."

you sighed frustratedly, "of course he is. okay, i'll be right there. thanks, ji." you hung up after you heard a hum of acknowledgement from jihoon, immediately leaving yours and soonyoung's shared apartment with your car keys and a few bottles of water.

jihoon, being the only fully sober one, had sent you the location of the private kbbq place the whole team was currently drinking at, as you drove on the way to the bar which was about 10 minutes away, your mind drifted to your currently very drunk boyfriend.

➽──────────────────────────────❥

hoshi, or kwon soonyoung, as you mainly knew him as, and you have been dating for over a year.

you first met him in a dance class where you were the choreographer. soonyoung had asked one too many questions when you realised that he was simply asking questions about the dance just because. you were flattered, so you humoured him. that is, until you got a little too interested in him as well.

his enthusiasm charmed you, rivaling your sarcasm and wit in a way that had him coming back for more.

"so, um I have this reservation at 8. but I- uh, accidentally booked it for two. so, I was thinking-"

"kwon soonyoung, just ask me out normally."

"right." and thats how it started.

about a month into the relationship, he bragged to you that he was a world renowned k-pop idol and you laughed in his face.

he, of course, provided you with proof and you hummed in interest, muttering something along the lines of, "i knew there was something interesting about you" before cutting off his attempt at a reply with a kiss.

once you got more comfortable, teasing him with his tiger agenda and calling him hoshi occasionally, he had introduced you to the rest of his group members. in their dressing room before a show, but introduced nonetheless. they loved you almost instantly, all twelve of them surrounding you as you gossiped about your boyfriend's habits, said boyfriend sitting in the corner of the room completely embarrassed but incredibly head over heels for you.

another one or two months in, and he said i love you. it was after a big tour, he was exhausted as he stepped into your apartment calling out "jagiya" with that same sweet tone he always held for you. you emerged from your bedroom, wiping your eyes after they landed on him in your living room. you stepped forward to engulf him in a hug, humming at the familiarity of his touch.

"welcome home, soonie."

"...i love you. ever since i saw you i knew. that i loved you. love you."

your eyes widened as you slightly let go to look into his eyes; tired but soft. you returned it with a soft smile, one you hardly held for anyone but him, it seemed.

"i love you too, soonyoung."

➽──────────────────────────────❥

well, now as you stand in the barbecue place, watching your boyfriend of over a year dance on top of a table, you weren't so sure.

the sound of you opening the door to the building echoed and caught the attention of the other members, or at least the ones sober enough to notice your presence.

your gaze travelled the rest of the members. at the edge of the table, cheol and mingyu were arguing about work. surrounding the middle portion, jeonghan was resting his head on wonwoo while joshua, vernon, jun and minghao were gathered together drinking a sweet flavoured soju and chatting. near the other end, seokmin and seungkwan were hugging each other and swaying side-to-side like a choir as jihoon watches them, unimpressed.

and of course, your boyfriend just had to be the one drunk out of his mind, dancing and singing with chan on top of a table. how have they not been kicked out by now?

thankfully, soonyoung hadn't noticed you yet, so you headed towards the crowded table to greet the rest of the sober members.

cheol and mingyu hugged you, whining about how they had missed you. however, it was more of a one-sided hug, as all you could do was cringe at the strong smell of alcohol, quietly begging jihoon to free you from the two.

after you were freed, jihoon gives you a small hug as he'd learned to grow comfortable enough with your presence to do so. the rest of the members, besides your boyfriend and chan, all gave you gentle smiles, some cheering at your arrival.

at the sudden noise, chan (the cutie he was) turned with wide eyes before instantly breaking out into a huge grin, jumping off of the table to engulf you in a hug.

"noona!" he exclaimed, swaying you side-to-side as he hugged you. you chuckled softly, "here. have some water, chan." you passed the youngest a bottle of water which he took gladly, happy that you were so caring to him.

your soft smile quickly turned to a hardened gaze as you locked your eyes with the crazed idiot still dancing on the restaurant table.

"yah, kwon soonyoung!" you crossed your arms as you yelled out, stilling the hustle and bustle of the yapping, music and lively barbecue atmosphere.

"oh, he's so dead," you hear joshua mutter to vernon amusingly, which the latter chuckles at before nodding.

soonyoung gasped your name before he stumbled out of shock, almost falling off the table entirely if it weren't for seokmin and seungkwan grabbing onto his figure. your boyfriend gently let himself off the table before jogging to you, but not without almost tripping twice.

"hi baby," soonyoung leaned into you, reaching for a kiss before he was immediately declined with the push of your palm on his cheek.

"dont 'baby' me, kwon soonyoung." you sighed, softening your tone slightly while still expressing your annoyance, "im taking you home, okay?"

he nodded softly, understanding your tone and what it was conveying.

you made quick work to make sure everyone had a safe ride home, and got into your car with your boyfriend in the front seat and jeonghan and seungkwan in the backseat.

on your way to jeonghan and seungkwan's place, you felt soonyoung gently interlock your fingers over the armrest in between you two, gently caressing your hand with his thumb.

you glanced over at him as you stopped at a red light, tilting your head as a silent question. he lifted your interlocked hands and kissed the back of yours softly before placing it back down.

you dropped off jeonghan and seungkwan with no problems on the way, and rolled down your window to say goodnight.

"you guys alright heading in?" the two glanced at you as you asked the question before shaking their heads.

jeonghan grinned, "yeah, we're good. besides, you look like you've got your own stuff to deal with over there."

you raised an eyebrow before turning to the passenger seat, seeing a very unconscious soonyoung, still holding firmly onto your hand.

"right." you mumbled. the two waved goodnight to you as you drove off, smiling softly to yourself as you glanced at your sleeping boyfriend again.

➽──────────────────────────────❥

by the time you reached home, you turned towards soonyoung, who was still very asleep, with a small smile. gently, you tapped at his shoulders to attempt to wake him.

"soonyoung, we're here." you attempted your softest voice, letting go of the hand he was holding to gently shake him awake.

with just your luck, his eyes opened slowly to meet yours. "baby?"

"c'mon, soonyoung. we're home," you ran your thumb over soonyoung's shoulder a couple times before exiting the car, helping him to walk in a straight line into your home.

with a few glasses of water in soonyoung's system, he was finally sober enough to take a shower and get ready for bed after you. hesitantly, he crawled into bed next to you.

you turned, noticing a sudden stiffness in his actions. you always noticed when something was wrong.

"is everything okay?" your hand reached up to rest on his cheek, soonyoung leaning into your touch instinctively. he sighed, "it's stupid but-"

"but?" your head tilted, putting the book that you were previously reading down and turning your whole body towards soonyoung.

"you, um- you've only referred to me by my name today."

oh? you furrowed your eyebrows before it clicked. ah, okay. you smiled.

"of course. im sorry, baby." soonyoung smiles almost instantly, "s'all better now, it's okay." you laughed softly at your boyfriend's antics.

"thank you, by the way," soonyoung speaks up again after a beat of silence, "for taking care of me, even when I get really drunk. sorry for making you mad."

"im not mad, soonyo– honey," your boyfriend hummed in delight, "I was just a little annoyed, but I'll always care. if you didn’t notice by now, you’re a littleee hard to stay mad at."

"lucky me then, right?" he mused, leaning to kiss you before being rejected, again, by your palm.

"d'you brush your teeth?" your eyebrows furrowed, which made soonyoung laugh before nodding. you sighed in relief before moving your hand to comb through his hair.

weekend mornings with henry creel were always something you looked forward to. your limbs comfortably tangled together as the blanket covered both your bodies to keep you both warm. the comfortable silence that always lingered as you slowly come to.

lazily, your eyes flutter open and henry is the first thing you see. his blond hair messily ruffled from the slumber, his blue eyes gazing softly upon you, the sun seeping through the bedroom and reflecting in his eyes and on his face, a small, soft smile is directed towards you.

"good morning, beautiful," he mutters, landing a small kiss on the top of your head. you smile in response before yawning in between your words, "were you...watching me sleep?"

"maybe just a little," he smiles, guilty. you wipe your eyes before raking your hand through his hair with a grin, "and why is that?"

"just wondering how someone can be positively glowing even when they're asleep." his gruff morning voice rumbles through his body, the contact of both of your bodies allowing you to feel the vibrations as well.

you roll your eyes, softly chuckling at his response. henry continues smiling at you like you hung the stars. and in his world, you have. "I hope by that someone you mean you," you say playfully with an eyebrow raised. henry chuckles, placing another kiss on your head before shuffling to get off the bed.

with a sudden tug on his wrist, henry turns back to meet your questioning gaze, responding with a soft smile.

"I'll bring over some breakfast, love. you just sit still and look pretty, okay?" henry smooths your bed head before retrieving his glasses from the night stand and putting them on his face. he brushes his hair with his hands as he walks out of the bedroom, ready to prepare your breakfast in bed.

your gaze lingers on the open bedroom door with a smile. how did you get so lucky? you had no idea, honestly.

you glanced around the bedroom, taking in the view from your peripheral vision. on henry's nightstand, there's a lamp and a case for his glasses to sit in. there's also a framed picture of you, on the day that you got engaged to the man himself.

you remember that day very well.

henry had taken you to your favourite restaurant for lunch, drove you around the town to view your favourite places then finally got down on one knee once the two of you had reached the destination of your first date all those years ago. cliché, yes. but romantic? extremely.

on your nightstand, the same model lamp, a small dish to hold your jewellery and a novel that you still haven't quite finished reading. the cover is slightly worn out, the top corner of the pages of half the book folded and creased because you couldn't care less about owning a bookmark when you could just fold the page.

henry, the kind soul that he is, managed to make a temporary bookmark out of a bird's feather for you. touched by the sentiment, you told henry that "this is perfect," with a huge grin.

you reached over for the book, opening to the page you had last read and continued, your eyes scanning over each word.

Clang!

"...shit." You hear henry mutter from the kitchen. with a heavy sigh, you closed your book and headed over to the kitchen.

as you headed down the stairs, you could hear shuffling from the kitchen. most likely henry slightly panicked from the noise and not wanting to concern you.

your eyes lazily glance over at the front door, its stained glass transmitting light from the outside to display colourful hues on your clothes. with a small smile, you turn towards the kitchen.

"you know, when you drop a pan on the ground," you announced to henry as you enter the kitchen to see him look up with a worried face, "it's a little hard to believe you're a trustworthy cook."

he sighs defeatedly, "...you should be in bed." henry picks up the pan from the ground and cleans it before setting it on the active stove, with an amused smile, you jump to sit on the kitchen island behind henry.

"i was before the earthquake of skillets happened," you

giggle, taking a glance at all of the ingredients next to you that henry is using to make pancakes. you'd hate to admit, but his pancakes were always the best.

with a scoop from a ladle, he gently pours pancake batter onto the pan before setting aside the ladle and the cotton pot holder that he used to hold the metal handle of the pan.

henry turns to face you, noticing with an intrigued smile that you were sitting on the edge of the kitchen island.

brushing away a strand of hair in front of his face, he walks towards you and lands a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, causing you to chuckle a little more, "and besides," you continued, "how were you supposed to watch me sit still and look pretty?"

"and you are doing an excellent job at that," henry muses, leaning closer and instinctively resting both of his hands on the table, surrounding you.

you smile smugly, "i know. i've got experience. i'm kind of a natural, you know?" your hand reaches up to cup henry's cheek before kissing him softly with a small smile.

henry returns the kiss which makes you smile wider before the two of you pull away, your thumb gently grazing his jaw.

"penny for your thoughts?" henry says, breath noticeably a little heavier than it was a minute ago. you innocently ponder, dragging out a long "hmm".

"i think..."

"yeah?" henry tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

your head tilts towards the contact before your eyes glance on something behind henry, "i think...you should really check on those pancakes."

"check on-?" henry's confused expression quickly flickers to panic, the smell of burnt butter filling the air as smoke begins to waft in the air. trying to stay as calm as possible, you hop off of the counter to locate where henry had placed the pot holder.

without thinking, henry grabbed the metal handle with his bare hand and quickly dropped the pan into the sink from it getting too hot. he winces, shaking his burnt hand in the air to try and cool it down.

"what-henry! why did you do that?" with wide eyes, you go to turn off the stove before grabbing his wrist and running it under the tap water. henry exhales in relief at the feeling of cold water on his hand.

"the water should help, okay? just keep it there, i'll be right back. don't take your hand out," you make sure that henry isn't wearing anything tight on his arm before heading to your bedroom.

"im aware. im not a child," henry scoffs. your head snaps towards his response and you furrowed your eyebrows at him. henry takes in your expression before sighing, "sorry. i won't take it out."

"good." you spoke with finality, before retreating to the bedroom. you practically run up the stairs and towards your bedroom. with a deep sigh, you walk towards the cupboard before taking out the first aid kit.

sitting on the bed, you sift through the contents of the first aid kit trying to find things that could treat a burn. your gaze fixes on a tube of ointment and gauze and you mutter a small, "thank god."

you quickly collect the items, along with a few cotton buds, and place the first aid kit back in the cupboard. your feet move before your brain does, and you're already downstairs, walking towards the kitchen.

your eyes land on henry, holding his wrist to keep it under the running water per your request. his head snaps up at the sound of your footsteps and smiles at you with a relieved sigh.

"c'mon," you gestured over to the living room couch, before sitting on one side and tapping the side next to you. with a small roll of his eyes, henry turns off the running water and goes to join you, taking his place by your side.

with practised hands, you applied the burn ointment onto henry's hand with a cotton bud as gently as you could. henry gazed at your focused expression with a fond smile.

"you seem experienced. do you do this a lot?" henry muses as you unroll the gauze. you chuckle slightly, "yeah, i was a nurse in my past life."

"no, actually," you continued, "I always had to patch my siblings up," you tilted henry's hand a little to wrap the gauze around his palm.

"they were always kind of...reckless. treating cuts and scrapes were my specialty," you smile softly at the memory of when you would comfort your little siblings. they always came to you when they got hurt, and now they're all grown up.

henry hums in acknowledgement, "thank you."

"for?"

henry sighs, "for taking care of me."

your hands wrap the gauze around henry's thumb, and you slightly pause with a soft smile to look into his eyes, "yeah, well, someone has to. who better than your wife?"

"wife," henry mutters with a smile, still not quite used to calling you that. his eyes rest on your left hand, the wedding ring snug on your ring finger like it belonged there. you match his smile before tending back to his hand, using some medical tape to secure the gauze.

"all done," your hands lifted his up to your lips as you pressed a soft kiss on his knuckles, "try not to be reckless again, okay?"

"how can i, when i know you'll be there to treat me every time?" henry lifts your hand to kiss your knuckles as well, causing you to chuckle and shake your head at his antics.

suddenly, henry rises to his feet and attempts to make his way to the kitchen but not before you grab his unwounded wrist.

"where the hell do you think you're going?" henry tilts his head at your question, as if it was obvious.

"to continue making you breakfast?" you sighed, standing up with him, "you're going to get burned again, let me finish it up for you."

"what- are you positive?" henry questions as you made your way to the stove to finish up the pancake batter. you face henry with a determined smile, the smile that said that your mind had already been made up the second you stepped into the kitchen.

"of course I am. just sit still and look pretty, okay?" you smiled smugly as you had repeated his own words back to him. henry shook his head with a soft laugh and rested his hands on your waist.

"do I ever tell you how much im utterly in love with you?"

"you tell me that almost every day," you smile as you leaned in to close the distance between the two of you. your hands rested on his chest as henry pulled you in closer with a smile.

spencer and you didn't start out the best. honestly, he doesn't even know how you agreed to date him a year ago. the two of you were polar opposites; he was lively, open and he knew how to take control of a room (he is the director of smosh games after all).

you, on the other hand, were observant, calm and you quite frankly liked to keep a lot of things to yourself. it's one of the reasons spencer didn't even know you had a thing for him in the first place. he honestly thought you hated him.

well, that is, until you had asked him to get a drink after work. and that's how your relationship started. you still remember that day as if it were yesterday.

"do you wanna get a drink after work?" you asked. it was the end of a shoot week and everyone was exhausted and had plans with friends or family.

the two of you were the last ones staying behind on the games stage, cleaning up after the last wrap of the week. spencer had been quite obvious about his feelings towards you whenever he spoke to you.

you weren't an idiot, and you've had enough of pretending to be one. so you decided to make your feelings known too.

spencer almost jumped up and down in glee before he remembered he probably needed to stay calm.

"you mean like...as co-workers?"

"I think we both know that's not what I meant." and oh, he was done for.

a year later, and valentine's day was rolling around. with the agreement from ian and anthony (and human resources), yours and spencer's relationship had been approved in the workplace and had agreed to not disclose it to the rest of your castmates to maintain a professional workplace.

personally, you didn't care for valentine's day. like, a day all about love? all days were about love if you allowed it to be. it was a weird sentiment, but whatever.

you say that, but after spencer had asked you to be his valentine using a commissioned card game that the two of you were playing after dinner, you thought maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

"ha! I won," you smiled smugly at spencer across from your dining room table, spreading the cards that you had collected to win the game.

spencer smiled sweetly, "did you?" you tilted your head in confusion, "what's that supposed to mean, spence?"

"you might want to read what all those cards spell out," spencer leaned his head on his hand, gazing at you in a way you could only describe as the male version of a girl batting her eyelashes at the guy she likes.

"the cards?-" you muttered to yourself as you gazed at the cards that you had just spread out.

funnily enough, in order, they spelled out, "please be my valentine im desperate."

"how did he even-" you thought as you shook your head. you read through the words again and couldn't help but chuckle.

"desperate?" you locked eyes with spencer, who chuckled at his own choice of words that he decided to put on the cards.

"extremely." spencer reached over to grab your hand with the widest grin on his face. you rolled your eyes, tightening your grip on your interlocked hands.

"so?" spencer tilted his head at you before glancing back at the cards, then at you.

you pondered for a moment before shrugging with a chuckle, "sure, what the hell."

on the big day itself, coincidentally it was also the first day of a shoot week. early in the morning, spencer and you left for work in seperate cars despite living in the same house to not raise suspicion. to the rest of the cast, the two of you looked like close friends and nothing more.

once you stepped into the office, your eyes immediately landed on a small but neat bouquet of flowers, a cup of coffee and a big box of chocolates on your desk with a note on top of it.

of course, you couldn't see much of it since every single cast member surrounded your desk. you raised an eyebrow, trying to manoeuvre through amanda and trevor (seriously, what are they feeding them?) to see the note clearly. you picked up the note with a confused frown.

"hey girl, are you yoda? because yoda-licious (insert exaggerated wink here)" you read outloud, your eyebrows furrowed as the cast members practically push against you which causes a slight discomfort.

"i didn't know you had a partner?!" amanda squeals, placing a hand on your shoulder as she gives you the widest smile you've ever seen.

angela jumps up in glee, "no, literally! I was almost about to set you up on a date with someone," she looks at the note and smells the flowers almost cartoonishly, "are you gonna tell us who it is?"

"oh, the note is so cute," arasha and courtney gush over the little post it that spencer had written and scribbled all over. (though they didn't know that)

olivia, keith and noah repeat your name multiple times for you to unfreeze, glancing at them with wide eyes.

"are you alright?" olivia asks and you're not sure if you can answer that right now. you and spencer had promised to keep the relationship under wraps to not attract any attention, but this? this was too much for you.

"yeah, im perfectly- um, guys, can you maybe not crowd my table?" with a slight crack in your voice, you politely scooted over some cast members to place your bag down at your seat. the members all muttered their own form of sorry's.

"it's fine, guys. I'd just prefer to keep this," you motioned towards the romantic gesture behind you, "to myself for now. at least until im ready to talk about it."

"of course, honey. we understand," courtney smiles sweetly at you, which you match almost instantly, "thanks."

"so, does that mean we can't have some of those chocolates?" trevor perks up from behind the group with an awkward smile. you roll your eyes playfully, "sure, you guys can have some, I wasn't planning on finishing these anyways."

you grabbed the coffee that spencer had surprised you with and walked to the kitchen, not before sneaking a glance towards the cast members who grabbed a chocolate from your place before returning to their work.

once you had entered the kitchen, you rested by the kitchen counter and took a sip of your coffee. yep, definitely spencer. you thought as you tasted your usual coffee order.

"mornin' dude," your ears perked up at the sound of a slightly raspy, masculine voice. your eyes flicked up and saw anthony, making himself a cup of coffee.

"hey anthony," you sighed, taking another sip from your paper cup. you sipped almost desperately, alerting your very observant best friend in front of you. anthony paused what he was doing, which was stirring in sugar and oat milk into his coffee, to face you fully.

"are you...alright?" he hesitates slightly, not knowing if he should push. you set down your cup of coffee next to you, before crossing your arms, "it's too early in the morning for this."

anthony hummed before checking his phone for the time. he glanced over his phone screen before putting his phone back into his pocket, giving you a small yet secure smile, "i've got time."

you sighed again, "it's...about spencer." anthony's eyes widened at the sudden mention of your boyfriend's name.

"you're not breaking up with him, are you?" he assumes almost immediately which has you matching his expression, "what- no! god, no."

anthony relaxes with a sigh of relief and you smile, amused that he would even think that, "no, it's-"

"is this about the stuff he left on your desk?"

you nodded intensely, "yes, exactly that."

anthony nodded, before looking around the kitchen, "do you wanna go to my office? so that people don't hear us talking about this."

you nodded in agreement before trailing behind anthony with your coffee, following him into his office and closing the door behind you and sitting across from him.

"so, the gifts," anthony started, taking a sip from his coffee with his eyebrows raised. your hands instinctively wrapped tighter around your coffee cup, gaze locked on the table rather than anthony's eyes.

"its not like i hate it, because I don't. I think the gifts are really sweet," you started, tapping on the table nervously which anthony notices with a slight frown.

"but..?" he questions, which causes you to sigh, "but its unprofessional, and we agreed to not have people find out about us. at least not until im comfortable with it."

"right-"

"and everyone's asking me questions about it, and its just so overwhelming," your hands leave the coffee cup to help exaggerate your sentences, "and you guys know how sensitive I am about this stuff. like, i get uncomfortable with personal stuff and this is all so personal. like would this be considered as an inappropriate act in the work environment?"

"dont be ridiculous-"

"and I dont want people to know about us! at least, not yet anyways. it took me so long to finally get comfortable with him, and I don't wanna be scared off just because he showed what can only be described as a public display of affection in the work place!"

anthony mutters your name once, but it was enough for you to stop your rambling and face him properly. he sighs heavily, "maybe you should talk to him about this? just make sure he knows what you're feeling."

you nodded, taking a sip from your coffee.

"I probably should, I just don’t want him to think we're taking a step back in our relationship, y'know?" you tilted your head slightly before speaking again, "and I wanna move forward."

"wouldn't moving forward consist of slowly making your relationship known? like maybe...letting other people know that you're taken?" anthony leans back in his chair with an almost smug grin.

"damn, you make a good point." you sigh defeatedly with a small smile. anthony hums, "i usually do."

"shut up," you chuckle at the end of your sentence before standing up to leave anthony's office, "thanks, anthony."

"it's my pleasure. just don't make out in the office, will you?"

you roll your eyes as you step out of his office, ignoring his comment with a wave of your hand.

you had to find spencer.

—

you tried to keep yourself busy. keyword: tried. you didn't blame the cast members for being curious. but when chanse had asked about his sixth personal question in a row while everyone was wrapping up a games video, you couldn't help but excuse yourself to your desk.

isolation often calmed you down after moments like these.

"hey," you tilted your head up at the sound of a voice. one that you've grown accustomed to, "you running out of the games stage on me now?" spencer smiles sweetly at you.

"sorry I didn't mean to, I-" your eyes glanced at the flowers on your desk, now resting in a glass vase filled with water, and a half-empty box of chocolates, "sorry.."

it seemed that spencer had caught your line of vision because his smile fades slightly, "did you not like the gift?"

"no i loved it, it was just...public," you fidgeted with your fingers, "i was asked a lot of questions— personal, relationship related questions by people today because of the gifts."

"im sorry about that," spencer tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear after his soft-spoken apology. you glance around the office to see if anyone was around, and thankfully no one was.

"im scared, spence," you stated with a nervous sigh, "im scared what'll happen when people know about us."

spencer tilts his head in acknowledgement before pulling up a chair to sit next to you. he hums for you to continue, knowing that if he says anything now, it will risk the chance of you not continuing to open up.

"I don't...do valentine's day. I don't do relationships or— or public displays of affection or anything like that. but when I saw that gift on my desk this morning, I was scared. I was scared but I loved it, spencer."

"for the record," spencer smiles as he glanced back to the flowers, "i got you these because you deserve to be loved, okay? celebrated, even. and i didn't leave my name on it because I knew you wouldn't want me to."

you tilted your head in confusion, "you...you did?" spencer chuckles, "of course I did."

then, you remembered yours and anthony's conversation a couple of hours ago.

"I probably should, I just don’t want him to think we're taking a step back in our relationship, y'know?" you tilted your head slightly before speaking again, "and I wanna move forward."

"wouldn't moving forward consist of slowly making your relationship known? like maybe...letting other people know that you're taken?"

you smiled silently at the words before looking at spencer, "we can. just...slowly."

"can...what?"

"we can avoid hiding our relationship as much." spencer's eyes go slightly wide at your sentence, "are you sure?"

"yeah," you look around before holding spencer's hand, "it doesn't feel scary. you don't make this feel scary." spencer hums, "you have no idea how ecstatic I am about this."

—

lunchtime came around and you, spencer, damien, shayne and courtney had all eaten lunch together before getting ready for the next video shoot, which was a reddit stories with spencer and courtney while you and damien were heading to your desks together.

"hold on let me just get my bottle," spencer called out to courtney and shayne as he passed you and damien to rush to his desk. however, he almost immediately slowed down at the crowd that started forming around his desk.

"hey, what are you guys—" spencer's confused frown disappeared after he noticed what everyone was freaking out about.

on his desk, there's a singular rose and a pink fuggler with a note that scribbled "this thing is fugly, but you sure aren't <3"

chanse and angela were loving and hating the fuggler, amanda was gushing over the gift and the cute note, and arasha and trevor were practically rapid-firing questions in spencer's ear as he arrived.

you and damien joined the crowd as the man beside you patted spencer on the back and muttered a witty comment beside him while you chuckled, "wow spencer, seems like your valentine is trying to one-up mine, huh?"

spencer playfully glared at you, to which you send him a teasing wink, satisfied after getting your revenge.

anthony passed by the crowd in confusion before noticing the gifts on spencer's table and making eye contact with you. you shrugged with a grin and anthony shook his head before mouthing, "no making out in the office," to which you chuckled at.

3 times you tried to come out to spencer as nonbinary

one

you didn't work at the smosh office, but you were always welcome there. you were chatting with olivia and shayne while waiting for courtney, who you're meant to have lunch with after her video shoot.

"hey, we've gotta go but continue that story next time!" shayne waves you off as olivia blows you air kisses with a smile. without thinking much of it, you pull out your phone and doomscroll to pass the time.

"hey stranger," a much too familiar voice causes your head to snap up, your eyes landing on your boyfriennd's brown curls almost immediately. you smile softly, "do i know you?"

spencer chuckles, shaking his head as he takes a seat beside you. he glances over the smile on your face once before wondering about your sudden visit.

"what're you doing here?" he questions as you look back at your phone to see what videos tiktok had to offer, "waiting for court. we're getting lunch together in a bit."

then, your thumb that was meant to be continuously swiping up halted. your eyes glanced over the caption of someone seeking for advice, it reading out "how do I tell my boyfriend im nb(nonbinary)?" your eyes widened almost comically.

it was something you've been struggling to tell spencer for about a month or two now. that you were non binary. that you didn't feel female. more so, you weren't one to begin with.

spencer seemed to notice your change in expression, patting your shoulder as a way to snap you back to reality. it works, since you tilted your head up to face him. he looked worried, "y'alright?"

"yeah, sorry. zoned out i think," you muttered, yet you couldn't help but feel the lie stinging your tongue. you needed to tell him. you scrolled past the tiktok, before deciding to turn off your phone all together, facing your boyfriend.

"i actually have something i've been meaning to tell you," spencer tilted his head, urging you to continue. your brain tried to come up with the words to say, but genuinely, how do you even express what you're feeling in one sentence?

you couldn't, so your heart started hammering in your chest. you rubbed your palms together nervously in order to keep yourself from panicking.

noticing this, spencer reached for your hand closest to him, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb, "its okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"no, its not— I do want to its just—" you sighed, not knowing how to tell him. suddenly you hear boots clicking on the ground and look up to see courtney walking up to the two of you.

"hey, ready to go?" they ask, clutching their bag in one hand and applying lip gloss with the other. you smile, nodding before turning to spencer.

"dinner at yours?" you asked the brunette, who runs his thumb over your hand one last time before nodding, "yeah, ill see you then."

spencer smiled softly, pulling you to him to give you a small peck which you returned with a grin before pulling away.

courtney smiles in amusement as you wave to spencer before joining her by the front door, "what was that all about?"

"I almost told him i was nonbinary," you sighed deeply. courtney's jaw practically drops, "really? how'd that go?"

"horribly, I completely froze!" you say as you and courtney walk to a cafe nearby, "i don't know how people do it."

"oh, honey," the blonde smiles sadly at you, "if i know anything about coming out, and i think i do, i know that spencer would just be happy that you told him."

the two of you reached the cafe, you opening the door for courtney before stepping in yourself, "really? I just feel like it'll change things."

"nothing changed for me. and spencer is the last person i'd expect to go a full 180 on you, babe."

you hummed, looking over the pastries in the display to distract yourself, "i suppose you're right."

"hey, no pressure though. take as long as you need."

"thanks, court." you smiled, which courtney returned.

"I was talking about your lunch order, but yeah, the enby thing too," she joked, which earned a slight shove on her shoulder from you.

—

two

a week later, and you were chopping up vegetables in your apartment in the middle of preparing dinner. with a familiar touch, you stir fry the last few things with whatever seasonings your heart felt like.

the rattle of keys alerts your senses as your head instinctively directs itself to the noise. you watch as the lock turns and none other than spencer walks through your front door.

"hi pretty, smells good in here," spencer sets his bag down where he usually does whenever he comes over and strides over to you. he doesn’t hesitate to land a kiss on your temple once he makes his way over.

you smile softly at the compliment, "thanks. 'm almost done," you muttered, tasting the ingredients in the pan before adding a little more salt to your taste.

spencer instinctively wraps his arms loosely around your waist and peeks over your shoulder to watch you cook.

"i'm so lucky to have a wonderful girlfriend that cooks amazing food."

you froze. girlfriend. right. you softly slid off spencer's arms from your waist before picking up the pan to plate everything on your dining table.

spencer notices. of course he does.

"did I say something wrong?" your heart hurts and how genuine he sounded after asking that question. you shook your head softly with a smile, "no, you're fine."

quietly, the two of you started eating. spencer occasionally breaking the silence to tell you about his day, which was met with soft responses from you. he sensed the shift in your mood, "are you sure you're alright?"

swallowing the food you've been slowly chewing for the past minute, you sighed softly.

"i've been thinking about... stuff recently," spencer nods as you tried to find the words, "some big changes in my life i wanna make."

"yeah? like what?" he rests his head on his palm, watching as you pushed your food around with your fork.

c'mon. just say it. you can do it. were the words you repeated in your head.

"i think..." you dragged on, clearing your throat.

your foot anxiously bounced up and down without noticing. once you did, you placed a hand on you thigh to force it to stop. you panicked, avoiding spencer's eyes as they watched you expectantly.

"...i wanna dye my hair," you blurted out without thinking, too scared to tell your boyfriend the truth. spencer kind of just...looked at you for a bit, not really expecting those words to be your confession.

"huh," he muttered to himself, before smiling at you, "that's cool, what colour?"

your eyes widened a little, still processing what the hell just happened. how did i'm nonbinary turn into i wanna dye my hair??? you honestly didn't know.

"um," you swallowed nervously, "i haven't really thought about it yet."

"you could talk to damien about it, he'd probably give some good opinions," you nodded. maybe this was good for you. to be comfortable with a small change before committing with the big one.

"yeah," you smiled, not quite big enough to be reaching your eyes, "i'll think about that."

—

three

two weeks pass after the last attempt you've made in telling spencer you're nonbinary. with freshly dyed hair, you entered the smosh office after spencer had informed you that you'd been requested to shoot a video with him and shayne.

with practically no expectations, you cautiously made your way to the set, being led by courtney.

"do the fans even know that I exist?" you muttered to courtney as you pass a couple of cast and crew members, waving every now and then with a friendly smile.

"of course they do, have you not seen those compilations of spencer mentioning you in videos?" courtney smiles amusingly as your eyes widened.

"does he really mention me that much?" you question, feeling a small blush rush to your cheeks as you think about the last time you watched a smosh video with spencer in it.

"dude, i've watched one that was like an hour long. i'll send it to you," courtney pulled out her phone to send you the youtube link as the two of you continued walking, "you know what i realised too? he usually refers to you as his partner instead of his girlfriend."

"...huh," you smiled warmly at the thought of spencer doing that without a thought. it was nice.

"atleast, when he's not referring to you by name," courtney smiles at you, which you return softly before you realised you reached the set of reddit stories.

on the couch sat spencer, smiling at the sight of you entering the room. shayne sat on the usual chair with his ipad as he waved you over to join them.

you sent courtney a wave before joining the guys, making yourself comfortable next to spencer.

"alright we're ready!" shayne announces before the crew sets everything up to make sure all the technical things are in order.

once the camera starts rolling you try to make yourself as comfortable as you can in front of the harsh lights and cameras. you turn to spencer, who is already looking at you.

he shoots you a smile, one that said that you got this in the bag, and you matched it a moment after.

"hi, welcome to smosh reads reddit stories," shayne presents to his camera, "i'm shayne, and today's theme is couples."

huh. thats why you were brought here.

"and i am here today with my two friends who also happen to be a couple," shayne introduces spencer as smosh fans have already come to know and love him.

"and making their first-time appearance on a smosh video, we have spencer's partner," shayne announces excitedly before introducing you by your name to the camera.

you smile a little as shayne uses gender-neutral terms for you, almost forgetting that you told him and courtney together as a way to get their advice on how to come out to spencer.

you smiled and waved at the camera, not noticing how spencer noticed your reaction to the terms, the pieces slowly falling into place.

"i can't begin to explain how nervous i am to be here," the crew laughs at your comment, "but i'm excited, so bring it on, right?" you turned to spencer at the end of your sentence, and he chuckles, nodding at you with a small "absolutely."

the stories that shayne proceeded to read were all about fights that couples get into, sourced from the infamous aita subreddit. it was smooth sailing so far as you and spencer tried to give your own advice, taking from real life scenarios.

"personally, i think op and their partner should just kiss," you joked, gaining laughs from around the room. you smiled a little at everyone's reaction, getting more comfortable with everyone.

then, for the final story, you practically held your breath involuntarily as shayne read the title.

"AITA, my girlfriend recently asked if I would be comfortable dating a nonbinary person?" he read out, and you instinctively clutched the pillow you were holding just a little tighter. at the title, shayne subtly sent you a glance before continuing to read the post.

"my girlfriend of two years "hypothetically" asked me if I would date a nonbinary person. I told her no as I am a heterosexual male," you glanced at spencer, a little nervous as shayne continued.

"she said shes questioning her gender identity and thinks she might be nonbinary. her best friend recently came out as nonbinary as well and I'm thinking she might just be confused." you noticed your breath getting a little heavier, thankfully not loud enough to be picked up from your mic.

"I have nothing against nonbinary people but as far as relationships go I want to date a female, but im encouraging her to figure out who she is. chances are our relationship would end."

our relationship would end. you stole another glance at spencer, who was already looking at you. at the sight of his eyes reaching yours, you cleared your throat immediately.

"well, um." you took a deep breath. calm down, you reminded yourself. this is just a silly video.

"i think 'to each their own', he's allowed to have his own dating preference and if his partner," you swallowed, "doesn't suit his preferences, per se, he's completely right to feel that way."

shayne talks about how he agrees with your take, making his own opinion from your statement. you set the pillow you were holding onto your lap and clutched your hands tightly together.

spencer glances over at your actions before leaning in to whisper in your ear, away from his own mic, "are you overwhelmed with the shoot? we can take a break if you want."

you jumped a little at the proximity, "hm? no, its okay." you covered your mic so that your voices wouldn't be picked up. "you should give your opinion."

"you want me to?" he tilted his head slightly, waiting for your answer. you tilted your head as well, confused by his choice of words.

"of course, why wouldn't i want you to?" you whispered, which causes your boyfriend to smile a little, "sure, i'll give it after shayne ends his monologue."

this lifts the weight off of your shoulders a little, a small chuckle erupting from you which was picked up from the mic. shayne turns to the two of you practically huddled up together and chuckles.

"spencer, what's your take?" he asks, and spencer glances at you momentarily before turning to shayne.

"i think the small 'she might just be confused' part of the post is what irks me," he leans on his side of the couch, "because when his girlfriend is telling him that she may be nonbinary, its out of a place of trust. not something spontaneous. she's probably been on that topic for a while before letting him know."

"of course, people have their preferences," spencer crosses his arms and nods, "like for me personally, i dont care about that sort of stuff, as long as my partner is embracing themselves and is comfortable to share stuff with me, im chill with it," he smiles , shrugging slightly before looking at you fondly.

you release a breath you didnt know you were holding. your smile makes its way towards spencer with the same amount of fondness, as shayne tries to keep the camera on him so that they wouldn't focus on the two of you.

the video wraps up without any difficulties, and the crew thanks you for agreeing to be put in front of the camera and if you were willing to visit for future videos, per everyones request.

"sure, i dont mind," you respond to one of the producers, kiana, who you've come to know from spencer. speaking of the man himself, you feel his hand wrap around your waist as he walks up behind you, smiling at kiana as a greeting.

"i'd love to have you on more, too. it's getting a little boring around here." he kisses your crown with a smile as you roll your eyes playfully. "mm, i'll think about it."

you wave off kiana as she moves on to her next task before turning to your boyfriend, who is already giving you the goofiest grin.

"what's up with you?" you smile amusingly, pinching spencer's cheeks from cuteness aggression.

"nothin'. you can tell me anything, y'know? i'll love you no matter what." you freeze your actions and your smile fades slightly. does he know? you think. who are you kidding, he's spencer. of course he knows something is up.

you scoff to cover up your moment of shock, "whatever, you sap." you shove him slightly, but not enough to actually push him back since his hands are practically glued to your waist.

"mhm." he leans in to kiss you, and you let him. for a moment, its just you and him. until-

"hey spencer! you gotta teach the cast this game!" a voice snaps the two of you out of you moment, pulling away with small smiles.

"dinner at mine? maybe you can sleepover?" spencer tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. your eyes glance at his lips before moving back to his eyes, then smiling, "yeah, sounds nice."

spencer gives you a quick peck before retreating to his duties.

dinner. tonight.

this is it.

—

+ the 1 time you actually do

dinner time rolls around quickly, and you're already at spencer's place, watching the show the two of you hve been binging while curling up with his cat.

the two of you had already eaten dinner, the sound of the tap running and plates clattering which signifies that spencer is still washing the dishes. you continue to pet his cat, looking calm on the outside but panicking horribly on the inside.

how the hell were you going to do this? okay, recite it in your head one more time. you tried to tell yourself. you continued to repeat different sentences in your mind, trying to figure out which one works the best for when you inevitably tell spencer probably the biggest news of your life right now.

then, you remind yourself that this is spencer. hes supportive. he loves you. right, he loves you. you smile at your thoughts.

then, the sound of the running water comes to a halt.

before you could process the sound of water stopping, spencer comes into your field of vision, immediately making himself comfortable next to you. his arm wraps around your shoulders, and you instinctively curl up next to him, your head by his.

your eyes dont stray from your hands, which make quick work to fidget with your fingers nervously.

okay, this is it.

"spence?"

"mm?" his eyes are on the tv, but you can tell his attention is focused on you.

"can i tell you something?" your fingers fidget faster, if it was even possible to. spencer tilts his head towards you ever so slightly. you can't see this happening but you can feel the slight shift as he does so.

"anything, babe." his eyes then drift to your fingers and he frowns ever so slightly. as carefully as he can, he reaches over for the remote to pause the show. then, he moves his hand that isn't around your shoulders to your fidgeting ones.

"everything okay?" he asks softly, in a patient tone. he doesn't want to rush you, you realise, which makes your shoulders relax a little.

"i've been thinking about this for a while, but i didn't know how to tell you." you inhaled to prepare for your next sentence, and spencer lets you, slowly circling your hand with his thumb.

"i'm, um— i'm nonbinary." yeesh. you really wish you hadn't stuttered. your eyes stayed shut during your confession, scared of seeing his reaction.

"you wanna know a secret?" spencer tilts your head up with his hand to face him, and your eyes slowly open and presented a confused expression.

"i.. kind of knew," he shrugged, that annoying smile that you love hate slowly creeping on his face. your eyes go slightly wide, "what— what do you mean you knew?"

"well, i knew something was up. when you started acting unusual about your identity and around any mentions of being nonbinary, that's when i slowly realised. also shayne and courtney have been referring to you as 'they' recently," he rambled, each sentence making your jaw drop closer and closer to the ground.

spencer noticed and laughed a little, "to be loved is to be seen, or whatever."

"you knew this whole time and just didn't let me know?" you sat upright, causing spencer to sit up as well, "i didn't wanna rush you! i wanted you to be ready when you told me." you smiled before realising what he was saying.

"I dyed my hair for this and you knew?!" you shoved spencer in mock frustration.

spencer practically cackled, "hey! c'mon, it looks great! i mean really, it does." you groaned.

"I can't believe i've been worrying so much just for you to be completely fine with it."

"did you want me to not be okay with it?"

"what? no— that's not what i meant," you shake your head aggressively, which earns a chuckle from your boyfriend.

"c'mere," spencer smiles at you fondly, which you reciprocate, moving back to his side. with practised hands, spencer guides your jaw and lands a soft kiss on your lips. you sigh, your hands on either side of spencer's neck as both of you smile softly into the kiss.

you pull back, a little dazed. your lips practically glowing in the dim lighting of spencer's apartment. spencer gazes at you with love in his eyes as the two of you cherish that moment of silence.

"my partner's pretty hot." spencer breaks the silence and you laugh, your grin becoming wider at his use of the word partner.

"shut up," your cheeks burn as you lean forward for another kiss, which spencer happily reciprocates.