#482754

  I sat in the corner of the white sectional and Stephanie sat on my left, separating me from the rest of the apartment full of the Leafs WAGS. Everyone had a margarita in hand but I had a water bottle tucked between me and the cushions. Since stepping into the apartment Sydney has been very accommodating making sure I had the most comfortable spot on the couch.

  I also noticed how the assortment of soft-er finger food is set much closer to me than anyone else.

If you told me this morning that I would be sitting in a crowded room, I probably would have done my best impression of an angry dog. My time has been equally split between sleeping on the couch peacefully and laying in bed trying to sleep. It seems that anytime I want to be awake I'm asleep and when I want to sleep I am stuck awake staring at my ceiling.

   The cycle of nightmares once alone in my room was starting to show as I became more and more sensitive to my surroundings and not in the fun superhero way. I found that light was too bright, loud sounds easily startle me from the number of nightmares that plagued my mind.

So, Yes. I was grumpy as Stephanie would warn people as they walked into the apartment and all I could do was give her my best-unimpressed look from the cocoon of blankets on the couch - the only place I can find some decent sleep.

  The apartment had started to smell like a florist shop with the number of flowers that were delivered with notes from different Leaf players. The gesture was great for the first two bouquets but the tenth just started making us sneeze.

  Stephanie had to take control of the flower situation at that point as the sneezing was pulling on my stitches. One by one the bouquets were re-homed out to the balcony and Mitch had sent a team-wide alert to stop the flowers.

###

 The morning was like all the other mornings since I got home - full of nothing much other than my dad or Dr. Lambardi / Dr. Z hovering over me as they examine the progression of my recovery. It's annoying but I know it's for my health but it's just a little much. They are here every morning at 8 am sharp before they head to their practices and actual patients.

 Dr. Z is here more for my mental health than my physical health as he has been my psychiatrist and a major part of my support system over the last few years. I've been able to bring up some of the anxieties I've had over the last couple of weeks as they're existing problems he's worked to get out of me.

The nightmares...

I haven't been able to talk about it due to a couple of reasons both physically and emotionally. I'm still not allowed to talk at all to protect my healing throat and writing them down would make them more real.

  My dad has been making this bad habit of looming behind the doctors and making this face of pure pity that got deeper under my skin every day. I know he saw me as the broken 15-year girl I was not the 20-year old I am.

    When the doctors left and my dad didn't see them out like he usually does. I knew I wasn't gonna like what he was gonna say. He shut the door and hesitated before turning to face me.

"I think it would be best if you went to stay with your Nonna," My dad said looking firm in his suggestion. My eyes bulged as the words left his mouth and instantly my hackles were up.

"No" I stated firmly my voice raspy and pitchy.  Jolting out of my bed to turn my back to him not wanting to face him as I went into my bathroom for water as my throat flared with discomfort. 'I'm not running away this time,' I thought aggressively filling a cup of water and throwing it back as I watch my dad carefully through the reflection of the mirror.

"It would be good for you. Getaway from all this 'stress'," My dad said from the spot he stood in my room fidgeting as he is uncomfortable himself in this suddenly heated discussion.

"I'm not going," I said turning to face him. So, he could see just how much I mean it.

"BUT AMELIA," My dads' voice jumped in volume his patience runs out. "You're not doing well here," His tone and volume came down and sounds more defeated than his initial fury.

"It worked last time," He tacked on more to himself than me as he took a seat a the foot of my bed. I frowned and turned to the mirror and gave myself a look and pushed the thoughts of 'last time' out of my head.

 Exiting the bathroom with a sigh, I stand in front of my dad with a serious look.

"Last time was exactly that. The last time. I can take care of myself and running away every time I get like this isn't good for me. I also want to support my friends and that's kinda hard if I'm on the other side of the world,"  I motion to myself at the 'like this' My voice came out as a whisper.

"Clearly you can't and you know there have to be rules about fraternizing with the players? You could lose your whole career,"  My dad said standing up to his towering height, his face a deep shade of red.  "You need-" Ramping back upon his point.

"I need you to leave," my voice weak with emotion as his words land like a physical hit.

"To go to your nonna." He powered through with sad eyes but very firm in his stance shoulders tensed to his ears and arms stock straight ending in fists frustration clear as day.

"THERE ARE NO BUTS! I'm NOT BROKEN AND I'm not GOING TO BREAK. So please-" my voice breaking as a sob catches in my throat. "get out," I whispered unable to get my voice up.

"Just think about it," he said as he stocked out of the room.

Tears had streamed down my face as a frustrating headache set behind my eyes and my throat throbbed as more sobs broke the surface.

###

  I was sat up against my headboard, my head leaned back with my brain whirling behind my closed eyes imagine all the way my life will go wrong next. Sort of not trying to sleep, if it happened it happened kinda deal. A knock on my open door about 30 minutes later didn't even startle me. Tilting my head like a dead weight to the side expecting my dad and ready to level him with a glare.

I was shocked when Stephanie walked in.

"Put those daggers away. I'm not the coddle squad," She rolled her eyes as she used the phrase Mitch has coined when he was here a couple of mornings ago and witnessed the level of coddling my dad was doing.  "We - as in you and I are going to get out this apartment," Stephanie stated as she started pulling the blankets off of my legs.

"Where?" My voice sounded pathetic with defeat but with no objection to something other than this.

"Lexi's salon then the spa with Lexi," Stephanie has a big grin on her face "and then we're going to Syds to watch the game," She had a weird knowing look on her face but I didn't have the time to ask before she was running out of the room with a shout to get ready.

Her energy was just cautious enough to help me get up and get ready with a better ability to breathe.

###

    The rest of my day was a montage of pure bliss and relaxation. Stephanie and I ubered to the salon that Lexi worked at, we were met with mimosas in which I downed before Stephanie could ask if I was allowed to drink yet. I was not ready for the burn of alcohol or the acid in orange juice but the small buzz of the champagne was quick to smooth some of my frayed nerves.

     Stephanie got a trim, tone, and style but I opted for a simpler deep condition, trim, and style. The washing part has always been my favorite part of a haircut. Lexi's fingers were magical as they worked the shampoo and deep condition treatment into my scalp. It was so relaxing that I almost fell asleep, but Lexi chatting keep me alert as I responded with nodes or hmms still.

    As Lexi worked away at carefully trimming my hair aware of my careful glaze as when she asked how much I wanted off, I told her: "Just enough to rid the split ends." She laughed but also said that I could pull off a blunt bob if I felt adventurous, but I was quick to shake my head in disagreement.

Long hair has always been my thing.

    Throughout the day, a pressure that set in my chest after my argument with my dad started to ease but he was still too fucking right. The couple of mimosae that I was able to get down helped and left me warm and smiley.  Lexi is amazing at what she does as the only difference I could spot in my hair was that it looks healthier but not shorter and styled in simple yet gorgeous waves.

    Ubering to the spa in north Toronto from the south took about 30 minutes with traffic and my head landed on Stephanie's shoulder for a power nap that made the time flash by.

  In the spa, we were ushered into a dim-lit room with comfortable-looking couches and lockers to put out things. A tall lady with her blonde locks pulled into a tight low bun and kind smile instructed us to change into plush white robes and matching slippers and wait on the couches.

 We only had to wait about 15 minutes before 3 people enter the room and led us to our treatments.  

 We all got Facials (which I fell asleep during), also manicures and pedicures during the facials. Lexi and Steph got a kick out of the fact that I fell asleep during the facials because they had said something to me but my facialist had to tell them that I was asleep.

    It was about 4 pm before we parted ways to go get ready to meet at Sydney's place to watch the game.

###

   The series is tied 2-2 no one was on the brink yet but there was a fear in the air and there was even more exciting. Especially from the WAGS of players that have been around a while and were just happy their man is in the playoffs.

 Molly Bozak was circling the room with margaritas what seems like every 10 minutes before eventually plopping down beside Steph who she handed one-off. Stephanie just placed an empty glass done to accept drink number 2 with grabby hands and a cheer.

"Playoffs are gonna kill me," Molly said into her trusty margarita, and every head that heard nodded in agreement.  "So, Amelia," Her attention shifted to me suddenly "How long have you and Auston-"

"Oh no! we aren't," My voice came out hoarse and squeaky but tone clear any humor. My face suddenly flares in a deeply embarrassing blush. The blonde beside me doubles over in laughter at my expense. Molly stares at us with wide confused eyes. Also, the entire room had shifted its focus to us.

 We aren't at the moment my last 'good game' text was left on read without any response in any format. It's fairer to assume that he's just way too busy with hockey and all the travel but there's just something off about this drop in communication.  Especially if I did 'throw myself towards' him as Steph implied. My phone sat in my lap with just candy crush notifications and the weight of my dad's bomb this morning.

"Sorry but It's just that you guys looked cozy at the club. My bad,"  sounding a touch apologetic with a sad smile.  Stephanie however was in fits between us unaware of my layered embarrassment. Her laugh had Jax jumping on her thinking her hysteric laughing was crying.

"Jax," She gasped between her giggles as the large dog started licking at her face and barking too. He only stopped when Steph started scratching behind his ears and muttering that she was okay in her puppy voice.

  Jax being Sydney and Matts's large rottweiler that looks scary but is a total softy 'just like his dad' Sydney had said with fake misty eyes when I first walked in and met the pup. Jax had taken a liking to me because everywhere I had been tonight he has been sitting at my feet or before everyone showed up and we needed the space on the couch.

A dog just knows as Stephanie soothed him with words Jax relaxed into my legs.

                                                                                         ###

   As the game started everyone settled into their spot on the couches around Syd's living room, one looking like it was pulled from another room to accommodate the extra bodies expected. The chatter doesn't stop entirely as some take to making commentary of the game playing on the tv as others continued quiet conversations.

   My attention is completely taken by the game. Connor Brown and Leo Komarov have an almost instant breakaway from puck drop but Holtby is quicker. Madison (Connor's girlfriend) and Juulia (Leos wife) are nearly leaping from their seats before cursing at the tv/goalie.  

 As the game continues, the grip on everyone's glasses turns white knuckle with anxiety. Especially with moments like; Ovechkin flattening Jake with a clean hard hit that had Lucy hiding behind Molly as if she's watching a scary movie or when Freddie make a glorious glove save on a shot that looks like it was going in and the room erupted with cheers for the cherish goalie.

     Washington opens the scoring with just 2 minutes left in the first on a power-play from Kadri's nasty Knee on Knee with Ovechkin that sent the latter to the dressing room because the period was so close to being over Molly and Steph were in the kitchen to refresh their drinks. They come running back into the room to watch the replay and swear as the puck gets past Fred.

  With intermission, everyone gets up moves around the apartment and the spirits start to come back up as everyone indulges in more finger foods and alcoholic beverages. I stay seated in my spot in the corner of the sectional as Steph does shots of what looks like tequila complete with salt and lime, she throws back the show and instantly looks like she regrets it as her face and shoulders scrunch up.

"Tequila sounds like a good idea until it's in your mouth," Sydney groans as she takes a seat on the couch and leans against my shoulder in mock despair. "Among other things," I mutter lowly for only for Syd's ears but as fate would have it. Syd isn't the only one to hear it as the volume in the room had dropped at the perfect time for everyone to hear. I got a lot of nods of agreement and a lot more laughter. I sink in my spot slightly as a blush blooms across my face.

"Who wants another Marg?" Molly asks popping her head back into the living room grabbing the room's attention. Her eyebrows wag as she scans the intoxicated crowd. I raise my hand and the room fell into whoops and cheers as every toasted to me 'coming out of my shell,' even Steph tips her glass my way in favor of my chilling out even further but a look in her shows she's watching out for me.

"The best Marg you've ever had coming up," Molly beams loudly over the commotion as Syd whoops from best me and pats my shoulder.

                                                                                           ###

  I slept through most of the second period after discovering that Molly Bozak makes not only the tastiest marg but also the strongest in Toronto.  It seems I didn't miss much of anything as the score is still in favor of the caps. There are a few more empty glasses on the table.

  The fact I slept without problem doesn't go unnoticed by Steph when the first sight I am greeted with is her slightly concerned brows and trying to discreet mouth  ' r u ok?'. Nodding I take inventory of my aches and none more than usual respond as I test each limp as I get up to pee.

The reason I woke up.

 Stretching carefully with a yawn I tip in the direction of Syd to figure out where her washroom was again. The level of alcohol consumed the last time I was here whipping my memory clean of where to go. "Ugh..wheres-ugh your washroom?' I yawned at Sydney with a sobering blink. Now standing the molly marg sparkle shines through as my hand lands on the arm of the couch beside her slighting having overbalanced myself.

"Why don't we both go?" Pitying her way under my arm we waltz lazily in direction of hopefully a toilet.  Taking advantage of the free labor I lean my weight a lot more than necessary onto her shoulders under my arm.  

"Here we are," She pushed open a door to a possibly familiar bathroom? The toilet looks familiar. The reason I'm here! I don't even wait to figure out what Syd was planning on her before pulling my joggers down and peeing.  

"Molly makes a really good margarita,"  Feeling oddly comfortable for peeing in front of someone I barely know but do not want it to be silent in the hope to starve off even more possible awkwardness. Sydney is leaning over the stink to get a closer look at the bun she's trying to do up.

"We all learned the hard way. She looks so innocent but will manage to put you in near liver failure with 1 drink," She grins largely into the mirror be keeps her eyes adverted trying to give me some privacy.

It's when I'm washing my hands and turning towards the towel rack. Sydney turns her full attention on me with a towel already in hand to take mine and start to dry them for me. Her expression is much more serious than seconds earlier.

"I'm don't me to ambush you in any way and you don't have to answer this but are you okay?" Her grip on my hands over the towel tighten in a reassuring sense. Almost as a cushion to catch me with in a way. "Matt told me about your hands being and my intent right now wasn't to bring it up but I noticed 'it' too as you were washing your hands," Sydney continues her motion to dry my hands but the towels keep them covered. 'it' referring to my still yellow knuckles that are mostly healed by now.

"Those are in a way a part of me that's not okay right now but I am okay enough? Like, I will feel better but it just sucks right now?" My statements end in question marks for my unknown wellness. To be the utmost truthful I am not okay but like I just truth vomited - I'm okay enough? I pause to digest the words and thoughts reeling. Somehow I'm not spiraling? maybe just not yet? or growth...?

"I-I like him too? and my dad brought up a reall-" Breaking off from a hiccup of lack of breath trying to speak with no air coming in. The spirally starts with each truth slipped from my physical control. My breathing spike and the grip on my hands cushion me back from a total breakdown but it doesn't catch the tear that leaks out.  

Taking a steadying breath I retry my thought. -"He made a really good this morning. I don't know if I'm madder that he said it or that he has to right?" My voice was a little stronger but still weak and raspy. To her credit, Sydney doesn't appear to be completely lost despite the contextless anger.

"What exactly did your dad say? I won't lie that Steph did say she heard you guys arguing this morning and wasn't a hundred percent clear on what," Her tone hinting at something. Hinting she might not be lost at all.  "Through the grapevine - for your care, we swear-" Interrupting herself to clarify "- Something probably about going to your nonnas asap but she lives in Italy. You don't want to abandon Auston through his first play-off run. Then your dad said you can't be together 'cause unfortunate career logistics," Her accuracy should be more infuriating as boom I'm laid bare between us.  

I'm relieved "Because yeah," That encapsulates the forefront of problems. Sydney still managing to be holding my hands through it all pulls them and me in for quite the weirdly angled hug but It's pretty great regardless of my hand being trapped between us. "He also R-Bomb me and I have heard from him since I threw myself at him,"  I thought in as if this Tibet of information is casual as small talk.  Syd at least has the decency to foreign surprise as she pulled away from the hug.

"Yes, you're right in thinking that hockey is the answer but you too have quite a bit going on," She waves in the general  direction my not as feeble body before going on "He might be giving you space because he doesn't know where he fits at the moment?" She smiles and pulls me in a tight propper hug.

"Either direction you go it's the right one," A tight squeeze, and then she's pulling me back into the living room which feels a lot like stepping back into real life. Steph is watching the doorway as we walk back in. Her eyes catch Sydney first and a clear wordless conversation is had. Slightly implying that the intent was an ambush.

   Crawling back into my spot on the couch my emotions are in a blender but not consuming which is great. Any residual tension leaks away when Jax crawls into the inches of space between Steph and me. The tightness in my chest reminds me no matter the distraction in front of me.

######

Watching the 3rd-period playout wasn't tragic the entire time but as soon as Washington scores the second sure is to be winning goal. The spirit visibly was washed off the Leafs bench and leaving shells of players in return. The game wasn't even over and they were limping off the ice still fighting but unable to dig deep enough to score.

  When the final buzzer went the bubble in the room popped and Sydney slipped the channel before the camera could pan down the Leafs bench but not fast enough to save me from the heart-torn look on Mitch and Auston's faces huddling each other down the tunnel.

  The number of ladies in the room diminishes fast but in a polite manner and every pitching together to clean up the mess of a now pity party. The long-term leaf WAGs are sort of lean-to each subconsciously which is quite neat to see the bonds tied by hockey. Its an hour or two before we leave.

"Ready?" Steph bums her hip into mine gaining my attention from drying the last dish that I force Syd to let me dry for her. My own hands had held me captive as they remind me of the conversation with Sydney and all the negative emotions harboring in my chest embarrassment wasn't one.

That one is growth.

Setting the crystal dish in the general area of the rest of the thing dried by multiply volunteers who also had no idea where to put it left it on the counter.  Grabbing the tubberware of leftover food Steph prepared for the 'household' and grabbed all my belongings. Sliding the coat on and bag over my shoulder I had of the food to Steph when she was ready.

Turning to Sydney with Steph to say goodbye I'm ambush grouped hugged by the blonde duo.

Sydney tacks on "Either is right but do what makes you happy heart," Tapping my chest in the area of my heart. Her tone was much more slurred with added shots and cocktails since their last conversation.  

Stephanie pulls aways with my arm in hers towing me out the door stating the uber is here and has been here.  "Thank you !" I rush out as a grinning Syd waves us away through the door.

##

There's an unspoken agreement in the air of the uber for a conversation when we're out of it. Stephanie's shoulders are tensed and straight especially with the amount of tequila that's in her small frame.

"It's okay that you told Sydney," In principal maybe not but for me it was okay. "I mean in some ways not its not because what happens in my apartment I do like to keep it there," I don't let her get away that easy.  "But you're looking out for me. Thank you,"

Her shoulder relaxes but she doesn't say anything probably because she falls asleep having not had a period-long nap. Unlike me who feels wired with restless energy.  My leg threatens to start bouncing as I instead focus on the passing surrounds of light up downtown Toronto to get to my west side apartment.

 It's no time until I'm nudging her awake and ushering them into the building's elevator and pushing our floor. Balancing her and out leftovers. When I get the door to our apartment fully open Steph appears a little more awake as she stumbles lazily through the door as the comfort of being home washed over them both.

"Goodnight," I muttered tucking the leftovers into the fridge and grabbing some water. "I think that young guys could be good together. He's less locked upon himself with you,"  Stephanie sounds a whole lot more awake than she appeared literal seconds ago.

"Though like what Syd said tonight; What you chose is the right decision but please be kind to yourself," There is a hint of begging in her tome and face.  

"It's not my job to unlock his emotions," My tone comes off nagging and ends the topic fast as one two many of the same buttons have been touched tonight.  "I just need to think or not think fuck I don't know," Dropping the waters on the coffee table I drop my ass on the couch a touch too hard and the tug on my middle was enough to freeze me up and pause my tantrum.

"I can't do mind game especially now," I signed defeated blowing a deep breath at the ceiling. "I don't want to lose my job or my career. My professional reputation could be on the line at any time. I can but also I don't want to run away. Plus it wasn't even just him on why I wanted to stay. When I said 'friends' this morning it was plural I E meaning you too," Suddenly my whole face flames as the vulnerability of the day caught up with me.

"I love you too," Steph lays a fat one on my fort head with a giggle enjoying the embarrassment I bath in.  "I'm going to bed now," She misses the first attempt at a love tap on my cheek before landing a soft one on my head as she ascends to the stairs.

I don't even attempt to move from the couch. The front hallway light is perfect enough of comfort for me to snuggle in with the now permanent collection of blankets that take up a lot of my overside sectional.  Sleep however feels unneeded as the restlessness from the care lingers with too much said and not enough at the same time.

Not enough said to someone.

Breaking some of the cacoons I was subconsciously burrowing in I tap around for my phone that was tossed with the waters mindlessly.

'There's a lot of hockey left, xo' Sent 1:30 am

Read at 2:05 am

 Noah repeated his message for me to call him before I kicked him out to get to his own room and shortly I was able to fall into a decent sleep that lasts all of 4 hours before I was up and had my head in the toilet again.

 Where I am now, waiting for nausea to pass. My throat burning and my diaphragm beyond sore from the wrenching, my breathing ragged and heavy. I should definably call Noah because this doesn't feel normal even though this - isn't  normal, to begin with.

  Bracing my hands on the seat I roughly pushed my sore body up but the room spun in front of me as I stepped into the wall instead of out the door jostling my head back, making the world spin me round (right round).

"Fuck me," the rasp of my voice shocked me, trying to clear my throat proved even more painful than it already was earlier.

 Pressing my palms on the wall I rest my forehead on the cool surface trying to re-orienting myself some before pushing off slightly using the wall as support to get into bed again. Sitting slowly onto the soft inviting bed, a wave of exhaustion setting on my shoulders.  

  Setting myself into pillows I stare at the landline on the side table, the number slightly blurry from the dizziness but closing one eye and squinting the other I eventually manage to dial what I hope is Noah's room.

"Hello?" A groggy male voice answered on the other side.

"Noah?" I rasped pathetically holding the phone in a death grip.

"Yeah?" He sounded like he was drifting off back to sleep again.

"It's Amelia, You said to call if things changed," I hesitated feeling bad for waking him up but this didn't feel right.  There was a thump on the other end and a lot of muffling and weird sounds.

"Amelia, you still there?" His tone alert and awake-ish this time.

"uhm yeah- what happened?"

"I fell out of bed" He sounded sheepish before clearing his throat and tried to sound professional again. "What changed?"

"I'm really dizzy and - I just don't feel right," the last bit coming out quiet and slightly slurred, the mattress under me is really soft and warm - like a summer cloud.

"I'll be right down with a banana bag. It sounds like dehydration but I'll keep an eye on you," He talked more for himself than actually to me. "Are you hot?"

"Well, I think I am but I think it's a matter of ones taste," I rambled out breezily.

"I meant temperature, Amelia," He's so mean but there was a chuckled somewhere in there I could hear it. I am fun, so of course, there should be a chuckle, giggle or laugh because I'm hilarious- see I just made myself giggle.

"Amelia?" Noah's voice broke through. "Are you feeling  hot?"

Pause.

 Sweat is building upon my brow and various places on my body but I don't actually feel hot (probably don't look it either). "I guess," I mumbled semi-coherently.

"Yup you're delirious," I could practically see his unamused but slightly amused face he always gives me.

"You're shaking your head at me right now, aren't you?" I teased making myself giggle in delight because he doesn't protest or disagree with the statement but he did huff out a long breath on the other ended soundly slightly annoyed, he isn't my biggest fan on a regular day but not that I woke me it's probably much worse.

"Hang up the phone Amelia," Yup he hates me.

"No, you hang up,"  I tease.

CLICK, he hung up the phone.

Rude.

  "I should probably unlock the door," I decide and will my body off the bed, resulting me to flick my body at the door with too much force. "Okay, stop walking to things, Amelia," I coach myself unlocking the door and opening it a crack before engaging the deadbolt well it's open so the door can't close. I should really give myself a high five or pat on the back for managing that in this whacked out state.

My legs wobbling like a baby giraffe with every step until I planted my butt back on the bed and re-arrange my self back into a comfortable position laying down, the covers all bunched up between my limps like a body pillow for me to cuddle relieving pressure over various parts of my aching body.

 "This is me knocking," Noah's familiar voice entered the room before him pushing the door open, his hands full of medical looking things. I watch him from my huddled form, unmoving or disturbed by his arrival clad in his sweatpants and a hoodie.

He carefully set his supplies around me, going over a checklist in his hand before making a face as he surveys the room. "What's da matter?" My voice muffled by the blanket has pushed into my mouth.

"I don't know how to hang the IV," Noah Admitted looking stumped with two IV bags in his hand, one being a yellowish colour as the other is clear.   Unmoving, I glance around the room the low hanging light fixture directly above our heads catches my eye.

"Hang them off the light using the hangers in the closest," Noah's eyes instantly snapped to the fixture with a scrutinizing look before he starts moving around the room again doing as I suggested, which felt nice to have enough sense left in me to help.

  I start letting myself drift off as he getting everything together around me, stepping on the bed to reach the light doesn't really bother or move me much but when I felt the cold wet swipe of an alcohol wipe I groaned in anticipation.

"Don't move," Noah warns holding my hand flat on his thigh as he preps the area to be punctured by the IV needle.  I clench my eyes closed as the cold sterile metal touches my skin and Noah painless inserted it into a vein on one go- thank god.

"Thank you," I mumbled eyes still closed but the sincerity was still apparent. "Sorry for waking up a- whatever ungodly hour this is," I cracked my eyes opened to less lighting and the room still spins just not as severe this time. Noah sittings right in my field of vision I have to turn my head up a little to catch the soft smile on his face before his grimaces.

" 2 am but I told you to call," He reassured setting the back of his hand on my fore feeling the temperature before moving it to move the hair from my face. " but please try to not need me so we can both sleep, yeah?" everything about him was soft right now as he drags his hand through my sweaty hair, helping me set into a calm state.

"Hopefully, I already feel like death," I sighed through my nose, My chest still sore from all of my wrenching earlier as is my throat.  "I'll see you later today," Noah patted my shoulder before gathering his things quietly stopping once to ask for my room key to get in later before leaving with a soft click of the door.

 Soft strokes through my hair roused me from my slumber what I hope are hours later not minutes as that's what it feels like.  I could still feel the needle for the IV in my hand by the stiff feeling.  The handwork gently in my gross hair but I am selfish to tell them to stop. They could probably tell by touch and sight that my hair is gross and yet they are still working through the grim consensually.

  Peeping my eyes open one at a time the room is only lit by the crack in the curtains probably done by the person the hand is attached too because neither I or Noah touch them to my knowledge earlier.   A large weight has set themselves behind me as they drag their hands through my hair calmly. There aren't much sounds other than our breathing and the traffic outside.

"If I was a cat I'd be purring," My voice raspy than it has ever sounded making me sound weak and pathetic.  The hand in my hair halts and the body attached jerks slightly in surprise and a small gasp is hear.

"What time is it?" I make no move to find out for myself staying cuddled up with my mound of blankets, feeling slightly better than last night but in a different sense worse. The dizziness and nausea have gone away but has left my chest and throat in a lot of discomforts.

"7 am," The familiar voice was soft and definite not suppose to be here.

"Auston," I whined. "You're gonna get sick," but I don't want you to go.

"I was never here. I don't know I can get sick I was never here," He teased moving off the bed meaning his hand slips out of my hair with him. "I came by to see how you were doing and it seems like you got worse," His voice was light but shifted to a concern, I guess when he taking in the still dripping IV attached to my hand.

"I wasn't planning on waking you," That could be creepy but I cooed on the inside. Auston softly came to the bed to be in front of my face. "I also didn't plan to see this," He motions dramatically to the IV drip.  "but subconsciously  I kind of knew that the banana bag might be needed," His eyes fill with too many emotions to decipher.

"Thank you," I croaked weakly, half-lidded looking up at him. "but it's little creepy to watch me sleep," I teased cause the red in his cheeks to intensify.

"I was planning on coming to see what you needed. Like Gatorade, water and I also brought you this," Auston reached across to the end of the bed, producing another one his shirts. "Baggy shirts make great PJs or so I've heard," especially if they're your shirts.

"Thanks, Ah I think my shoulder is asleep," I wiggled weakly trying to shift my weight different but prove difficult with my sore body and the needle in my the back of my hand. Auston took pity on me and tried to help but just made it worse when he knocked the IV port and I hissed causing him to jump a foot away from the bed.

"I have an idea," He didn't wait for my input, he places my right hand with the port on his chest instructing me to keep it there as he tucks his arms around me and lifting me into his arms. My faces end up pressed into the crock of his neck as he-man hands me to the other side of the blanket wall on the cool untouched blankets. He arranges the pillows accordingly to support my back and neck.

  There's more in his eyes than just concentration on helping me or concern- he's sad. Even though he looks like he's concentrated there is something deeper going on his head that isn't pillow placement.

"Auston, you're gonna get sick," but I have yet actually told him to leave yet.  He watches with the same complex expression before sighing and closing his eyes dragging his hand over his face and through his hard.

"I'm sorry," He broke the words for physically hurting him to say. "I was such an ass to you. I totally missed the mark on you telling me about your plans to open up with Stephanie-which is a really good idea," He talked with hands, something he does when he's nervous.

"We're a lot alike Auston. We both shut off from people when we're going through our emotions. Yes, I was mad but more annoyed because you got mad at me for not letting you in and I wanted to smack you but Babs would have killed me," I managed to lighten the air between us.

"But Auston, please don't get sick to my account because again Babs will kill me," I pleaded with him again.

"Fine, I'm going," He got dramatic as he lifted his nose in mock offense and back away towards the door. "But I am going to get you more Gatorade and water," He announced nearly walking into the closet instead towards the door, turning around he was out of the door quickly.

  So, I got 5 hours but feels like 5 minutes in my head, my chest throbs when I breathe so all the time and my throat feels like I swallowed sandpaper repeatedly but thankfully this new position relieves the pressure on my sore body and now I can just reach the bottle of water to my left without much trouble.  I didn't bother setting it back on the table dropping it to my side once I've capped it.

  Staring at the ceiling feeling more human than I have this whole trip despite the fact I have a tube attached to my right hand or maybe it's the reason I feel better. All the nutrients my body lost are being replenished by the bags hanging from the light fixture that could look alarming and strange to someone other than Noah or myself.

 I could only imagine Auston's confused face when he caught sight of the rigged up IV's and my probably disgusting figure curled up in the blankets pathetically.  My face pale from illness yet my cheeks tinted pink from the fever and my eyes glossy and dull.  I can feel just how gross and tangled my hair is from sweating and being left matted against my head last night instead of comb out- yet Auston still ran his hands through it willingly.

Weird boy.

 Noah came into my room about 15 minutes after Auston left which is probably for the best because Auston would have got an earful from the doctor about the importance of staying healthy during the playoff. I would feel horrible if he actually did get sick because of me and if Babs found out - oh god.

 Noah worked on removing the IV drip first despite wanting to check my temperature and all that jazz but I was not having that I wanted the needle out. Once it out came to the thermometer in my ear and a flashlight checking the back of my throat.  As soon as Noah's eyebrows furrowed I wanted to groan.

"Does your throat hurt?" He asked once he pocketed the penlight and started feeling the glands on neck and under my jaw less than gently, earning multiple groans of displeasure on my part.

"Yeah," My voice hoarse and sounded overused despite the fact I haven't been using it.

"Your esophagus is for sure inflamed from you puking over the past day but your glands aren't swollen which means you're already a lot better than you were just hours ago," Noah sighed and stepped back looking slightly stumped.

"But your temperature is still 100, I don't know if thats good or bad. I mean it's great that it didn't get worse but you're definitely showing the signs of fevers and your delirium episode with the dizziness is the most concerning because that isn't normal FLU symptoms," Noah wrote down some of the things he says as he starts to slightly pace in front of me, working through something in his head.

  He stops before going to rummage through his bag for something before coming back up with a stethoscope with a frown.

"Shouldn't you of started with that Doc?" I deadpanned not enjoying this just as much as him. Noah just glared at me as he instructed me to breathe deeply and cough as he listens to my lungs and heart.

At least someone listens to me - my heart would say if it could.

"I don't hear anything abnormal," Noah says with a much lighter tone than the one he was using initially. As some of his frustration eases but mine doesn't because his hands are cold on my bare skin as he continues to listen to my body functions.

Would be a great time to burp if I could see how loud it would be for him. The rogue thought makes me smile lightly but it dies when Noah mentions something about a hospital. My whole body freezing, including my breathing which Noah can hear as he's still listening to my breathing.

 "How convenient that Amelia would be in the hospital the day before she signs the papers, Maria"  My father's angry voice hissed in what is suppose to be a whisper but having a booming voice such as his, it is impossible to whisper. A sharp feminine gasp is heard on the side of me across from my father.

" Luca, be reasonable here. Do you really believe I would do something like this, to our daughter?! "  My mothers voice rasped as she tries to keep her volume low like my father had but both fail.  

"You mean the daughter you tried to steal from," His voice broke at the end and his words got watery before clearing his throat as the grasp on my hand tightens softly- anchor his emotions.

"Luca," My mother gasped with a great offense, her hands landing on my other arm and instantly felt like flames were sparked by her grasp.  My father snorts as a dry evil laugh escapes his throat.

"Of course I do," He spat with venom with little words needed probably given her his infamous glare that made me behave as a small child. Her grasp on my arm tightened painfully before releasing and her heels could be heard as she departed the room and my life.

"You're safe now, Tesoro," He pressed a soft kiss into my hair as something wet fell on my hair.

"Amelia?!" Noah's voice came through loudly all of a sudden as my memory release me from its ever painful grasp and back into reality even harder as the pain in my chest and throat seem worse than before.

Blinking dully,  Noah's face invades my line of vision snapping his fingers in front of my face causing me to jerk back further into the pillows. My breathing is fast and labored as tears freely stream down my heated cheeks and down my neck, gasping loudly I kind of get control over my body as the crying turns into manageable sniffs.

"so, no hospital for you unless absolute must," Noah said softly trying to lighten the mood, it works to an extent but I still felt the effects of the panic attack holding my limps. Flashes of the buried memory haunt me when I relax but Noah's grasp on my hand- anchors me enough to get a control over my surroundings again.

"Amelia, I'm not going to ask much but Do you take anything for your anxiety or see anyone?" Noah asked seriously, holding my eyes with his as he speaks every word softly afraid to spook me- more than I already am.

"I used to see someone but never like taking anything," My voice shaky and weak, barely audible but Noah hears enough to nod but I could tell he clearly wanted to ask more but held his lip in his teeth to stop himself.

"Rest but try to get out of the room for a bit so the maids can clean the room. Maybe try to go down for breakfast and eat something small and drink tea lots of tea but don't overdo it," Noah slowly got gather his things and putting the empty IV and port into a yellow and red biohazard bag.

"I'll come back at 12 and we'll see how you are then," Noah gave me one last look of pity as I nodded along to what he says, he slips out the door again with a soft click this time leaving the key so I can leave and come back as I please.

 Too many emotions cloud my brain as I stare at the ceiling feeling a whole different kind of shit but this type hurts differently. It's not physically hurting me but it weighs on my limps and drains my energy enough to feel like it's physically restraining me, the comforter laying over my legs and chest begin to feel too heavy on me. I thrash my arms to get the damn thing off me, frustrated when the fabric tangles with my legs but I continue to thrash around until I was free and gasping for air again.

I wanted to scream.

Weirdly enough for the first time, I didn't want to be alone, I wanted someone to just be there.

I needed someone here.

As if they'd have the answers to my problems.

but they could help...

They could distract you, hold you and you can maybe let yourself feel something.

"Answer it," My voice came out hoarse but also muffled by the pillow, a mix of sleep and being hungover preventing me from doing it myself. A deep groan and the bed moving follows after a swift kick from me to Auston's legs. He audibly struggles to find the source groaning loudly when he has to open his eyes to find the damn thing.

"Hello?" His morning voice deep and gruff, deeper than I ever heard and it made me feel all the ways. I peeked my head out from the pillow as I felt him turn to face me, carefully to watch as he balances the phone on his ear eyes remain closed.

"She here-yes my apartment," He blinked his eyes open catching my curious stare, whispering it's Steph. Rolling my eyes I stick my head back under the pillow, returning to dreamland but was difficult with Auston being on the phone and me being nosy.

"She's fine," His tone becoming more agitated.

"She's here-yes not dead," I can imagine him rolling his eyes as he releases a breath through his nose. A sign that he's getting mad rather than just annoyed now. Peeking my head out from under the pillow my suspicions are confirmed as I catch him mid eye roll as his face sets into a familiar look of anger that is usually present on the ice.

"You left her at the club, Steph. She's alive and hung over as am I. So, I would appreciate it if you'd let me sleep," There was a clear finality in his voice but Steph was still talking into his ear through the phone but was quickly cut off when Auston hung up and dropped the phone between us, which promptly began ringing again before it hit the fabric.

"I'll bring her home. You go and get her stuff from Marty's." He answered then hung up again this time dropping the phone beside the bed before face planting back into the pillows.

"You're supposed to be mad," He mumbled into the fabric of his pillow before he eventually fell back asleep, his back rising and falling as his breathing got deeper. All I could muster was a weak shrug before readjusting my pillow under my head, Falling back asleep myself.

Finally waking up for the day, it was the afternoon turning to face Auston his dark hair sticking out from the thick duvet as soft snoozes signal that is still asleep. My need to pee is more prominent than my level of comfort forcing me out from under the warm covers. A shiver running up my spine as my sore bare feet touch the cold flooring.

Looking in the mirror as I wash my hands, my bruised nose still purple with yellow undertone a hint of healing but still throbs. There are bags under my eyes from the weird sleep I was able to obtain, my hair falls past my shoulders and breast in natural waves with extra fluff from falling asleep with wet hair. In short, I don't look as hungover as I feel, my brain throbs as the rest of my body aches. My poor feet ache with raw blisters from my heels last night and over use on the dance floor.

Limping back to the bed crawling into the warmth careful to not disturb Auston but fail as he starts to wake as I finally get settled back into the warmth. He turns from facing the wall to me eye still closed.

"Afternoon," He grunted roughly as he begins to blind open his eyes, fully opening them when there is no assault to his retinas as the room dimly lit by only the slightest of the sun that poked out at the bottom of the curtain. He rubs the sleep from his eyes as he stretches out like a cat complete with a moan like a purr into a yawn.

"I shall call you scruffy," I muttered unintelligently unable to stop myself from commenting on his cat like behavior. His yawn gets stuck in his throat as he laughs at me clearly confused.

"What are you talking about?" He yawned out.

"You remind me of a cat and your playoff beard is starting to come in and your hair is wild- hence Scruffy," I lazily motion to the stubble starting to grow on his chin as the hair on the top is head flops in front of his eyes and sticks up in every direction. He narrows his eye as he drags a hand through his dark locks in an attempt to fix the mess but it flops back in front of his eyes a mock pout on his lips. 

 A grin starts to take form on his face as something clicks in his head as he lays back on the pillow looking slightly awestruck by what ever it is running through his mind. He sighs loudly staring at the ceiling for an extended period of time a genuine smile of happiness stretching his lips wide showcasing his pearly whites. 

"Well, you've officially lost it," I clapped his bare shoulder before getting out of bed, my body getting restless and sore.  I slightly regret leaving the bed as the cold air wraps itself around my bare legs a shiver raising up my spine, grabbing the discarded hoodie from earlier sliding it over my chilled skin.  

    My joints loudly pop as I venture out of the room with a limp to the kitchen, leaving the dazed Auston to himself. My mission caffeine and a lot of it than I can begin to think like a normal human again.  Walking into the kitchen I am instantly greeted with the sight of an expensive looking espresso machine sitting on the counter near the sink.

"Perfect," I whispered lowly for myself before continuing my new mission of locating the supplies necessary to make the espresso. Finding an unopened bag of espresso grounds in the cabinet above with the cups too. By the looks of dust on top of the machine, Auston doesn't know how to use the machine. 

  A couple minutes later the smell of coffee fills the air as espresso is dispensing into two clear espresso mugs simultaneously. My mouth waters as I lift my steaming cup to my lips blowing on hot liquid eager to enjoy my work. 

 Carefully sipping the strong coffee, I investigate my surroundings as hunger starts to claw at my stomach as I start to feel more normal. The fridge is barren as I expect from a teenage man but the freeze is loaded with pre frozen meals made by a company that specializes in athlete nutrition but I still do not approve of the lack of fresh nutrients he much is missing out on.

"You made coffee? how?" Austons voice breaks my train of thought on his diet. Grabbing the still steaming glass from the machine he makes grabby hands for it. Leaning my sore body back against the counter I watch him blow on the coffee carefully before taking a sip, savoring the flavor. Austons now wearing long sleeves with the same pair of sweat leans against the counter mimicking my stance.

"My first job was at a cafe when I was 15," I finished off my coffee setting the cup into the sink before continuing my tale. "I was absolutely horrible with the machine at first I burned my fingers on the regular trying to master that damn machine," I shook my head at the memory of countless failed drinks and bandages covering my poor fingers every time the steam or hot metal caught me. 

  Auston stared into my eyes with a weird look in his eyes as he finished his coffee.

"What?" I question breaking eye contact, burying the lower half of my face in the fabric of his hoodie. 

"You don't talk about yourself, ever." He admitted with wonder.

"I'm not the most revealing person, which you probably noticed. Steph didn't even know I was Italian let a lot spoke it until a couple days ago," I tried to shrug off the topic of me, becoming uncomfortable pushing my hair away from my face a nervous tick. 

"Kinda speaking of, I saw what happened last night. He must of really said something to get you that mad," Auston revealing that he actually witness  my outburst makes my heart drop into my stomach as my face pales.  

"You saw that," I groaned rubbing my hands over my eyes embarrassed.

"  I know what that guy said when you went to walk away, Amelia," My defense rise as tears gather in the corner of eyes as knot forms in my throat. My eyes must convey my question as Auston pulls out his phone and opens his safari app still on google translate where the words that slashed my heart last night in Italian are now in perfect English. 

"Spanish is sometimes quite similar to Italian," He tried to lighten up the tense air but It was too much. I slid down the cabinets to the floor as silent tears turn into sobs. Repressed emotions clawing out of my once prefect confines. 

"You're so selfish, Amelia," my mother lecture if I cried. "Somewhere someone else has it a lot worse than you,"  she would sneer into my face.

I am being selfish.

Auston got into playoffs, he should be dealing with my petty problems. He should be celebrating with the guys or his family. Not having to deal with my lack of the ability to take an insult. 

 Clenching my eyes and jaw shut I push my emotion down and out of my head, my breath is still jagged but the tears stop as I swallow the painful knot in my throat. Tilting my head back expected the hard wood but instead I'm met with hard yet soft chest as the world comes back to me that I didn't even realize I lost.

 Auston has his arms tight around my waist as he sits behind me, his head in the crook of my neck whispering  "Its okay," in a soft voice. My hands are gripping tightly onto Auston's hands that lay on my stomach. My heartbeat is pounding hard against my rib cage as my breathing is distressed and uneven. 

Panic attack, I haven't had one in so long.

"I thought I grew out of these," I didn't fight as Auston arms tightened, I let my body relax into his but only for a moment before I start to pull away and when I was free and standing I started again.

  "Come on we've got something to be celebrating," I pulled a expertly practice fake smile on my lips as I help Auston from the floor, who does not look happy, clearly not ready to drop this topic.

"Amelia, we need to talk about this, you're clearly hurt," His voice firm and frustrated.

" Auston, It was just some guy that something that I guess I couldn't take," I shrugged but i had to turn and walk away before I could cry again.  I  walk back to Auston room start collecting my belongings quicker than necessary,  grabbing my phone from Austons side I head back to the grumpy looking Auston now sitting on the couch.

"Can you please take me home?" I silently pleaded with my eyes for him to drop it , he luckily didn't say anything as he nodded and went into his room to grab what he needed. Still grumpy when he returned shutting the door to his room harder than needed.

The elevator ride down to the underground was sufficiently awkward and tense, it only gets worse when we go into his car and his slammed his car door shut like he did with his bedroom door and as he speeds out onto the road. He gripped the stirring wheel with poorly hidden aggression. 

I was fed up with his pouting and childish behavior when he nearly hits another car but swerves just in time.

"Auston, If there is something you need to say, FUCKING SAYING IT!" I hissed venomously, violently jerking forward when the car is abrupt pulled over to the side of the road and stopped, Auston whipping his head to me pissed.

"SO NOW YOU WANNA TALK?!" His voice boomed around my head as his eye are in slits glaring.

"WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING FAKE? GOD AMELIA. why can't you let me in?! You're so frustrating sharing so much than nothing. DO YOU KNOW HOW SHIT I FEEL KNOWING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT YOU, YET YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ME?!" He blew up rapid hand motion matching his verb assault. He breaths heavy as he stares into my emotionless eye, a skill I master long before I hit puberty. A deep anger sets in my chest, not at him at myself.

"Nobody cares," My voice choked.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!" He sneered pissed.

"IT MEANS, NOBODY CARES FOR ME. WHY CAN'T YOU I'M NOT WORTH IT," I lose it as let it out. "EVERYONE FUCKING LEAVES IN THE END. Everyone leaves me, Auston. Can't you see I-I'M not wor-worth it 'cause everyone leaves. I can't handle it anymore," Fat tears roll down my face as I scream at the now speechless man.

"Thinking someone might actually love me and care just to- to-" I cried hard smashing head back against the seat. "just to leave. They always do,"  I dropped my head into my hands and cried.

I cried hard and long,

I cried until my body couldn't anymore and fell into a dreamless sleep as Auston still wordless started the car and driving again.

I woke again when I was being set onto something soft and familiar, my bed. I could hear Stephanie's worried voice somewhere as Auston trying calm and get her to leave. It took something Mitch said for her to leave and the door shut softly.

 Opening my sore eyes I spot Auston's figure leaning his head against the door.

"Auston?" My voice hoarse.

"Amelia, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it , you're not fake. You're reserved for a reason you don't have to tell me," Auston rushed to sit on the bed grabbing my hands into his rough ones. "I shouldn't have pushed you, fuck. I'm so selfish," My eyes widen in wonder as this boy just  keeps apologizing. Removing my hands from his I sit to grasp  the sides of his face.

"Will you shut up?" barely over a whisper. "I'll tell you. I'm not ready to, can we start with smaller stuff," I smiled sadly as my voice remained soft.

"Yes, okay how about I ask question and you just answer," He suggested more nervous than I ever seen him.

"I think I can manage that," 

"okay," We sat in silence as we stared into each others eyes before I break giggly.

"Are you gonna ask me something?" I raised a teasing brow, smiling when a deep shade of pink marks his cheeks.

"Ah, yeah, uhm. What's your favorite color?" He smiled shyly looked young.

"Purple," 

"Favorite food?"

"Gnocchi but the way my Nona would make it for me. The dough was always perfectly flavored and texture but honestly I think it was just because she made it I loved it so much," I reveal fondly as Auston nods encouraging me.

"Are you close with her?" His tone so soft as he's scare to startle me.

"Yeah but she moved back to Italy when my Nono- her husband passed away. It was easier for her as most our family is still there," I freely enjoying telling Auston some of my background.

It was a great start.

The faces in the crowd blur together as I head for the bar in search for Steph who had gone to replenish her drink but wasn't back yet. I volunteered to try and locate her but also to replenish my own drink. Bumping into the odd person here and there I finally made it to the busy bar being attended by about 4 people busy making drinks with flair, tossing and flipping the bottles in the air and shaking the drinks to the rhythm of the music.

My height gives me a better view of the people surrounding the bar, scanning the variety of different faces I was able to spot Steph trying desperately to gain the attention of the bartender closest to her, which seems to be proven difficult by the amount of time she had been gone. Starting to approach an unknown guy drops his hand onto the middle of her back and talks in her ear, she instantly lurks away making me instantly quick my step and slipped my arm around her creating a barrier for her.

"He bugging you?" I asked my head bowed to her ear like the man did just moments before but she welcomes my closeness by tilting her ear to me before nodding. I step closer to the bar completely blocking him from her with a glare.

"-Putanna," I heard the guy say to someone meaning whore. "I was just trying to have a little fun with your friend here," The guy raise his arms in mock surrender with an eye roll leaning back to laugh with his buddies beside him.

Deciding to ignore this guy, I turn and lucky was able to catch the eye of one the bartenders and waved my wrist bearing the vibrant orange VIP band, he beeline towards us instantly inquiring our needs with a harmless flirtatious smile before quickly preparing the order with the same flare I had observed for awhile. As we wait for our drinks the guy beside us is talking to his friends loud enough to be heard over the music in Italian, some of the things are funny and the rest is disgusting.

Getting our fruity cocktails I left Stephanie to walk ahead of me as I follow. I could feel the guys eyes on me as I sip my drink stepping away from the bar, my back rigid.

"Putanna, si sarebbe più eccitante se eri più piccola ," whore, you would be hotter if you were smaller. On what ever reflex that sober me would never have done I whip my head and glare into eyes before snapping.

" NON SONO NESSUNA PUTTANA ," I am no whore I seethed loudly drawing more attention. "TUA MADRE NON TI HA INSEGNATO LA RISPETTO, CULO!" Your mother didn't teach you respect. Steph was at my side instantly pulling towards where we were last all together, the guy was too shocked by my outburst to react.

I am still shaken up when we reach our group, I could tell by the temperature that my face is red and so are my ears. Pushing hair away from my face to behind my ears I take deep calming breaths through my nose before chugging back my tequila sunrise instead. Mitch tucked his girl under his arm protectively with concern and wonder etched on his face as well at the others.

"What happened?" Mitch observed wide eyed as my tense stature and red face- and probably crazed eyes.

"I'm not exactly sure other than- HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HOT!!!!" Steph cheered. "SHE.WENT.OFF- in Italian," she swooned into her boyfriend's arms with a drunken laugh easing no one's curiosity but sparking it more.

"First off she came out of nowhere as this creep tried to hit on me, then instantly flagged down a bartender which I was trying to for awhile THEN WHEN WE WERE WALKING AWAY THIS GUY- THE SAME GUY SAID SOMETHING I can only assume is nasty and AMELIA WHIPPED TO HIM SO FAST AND BEGUN A VERBAL ASSAULT IN ITALIAN," Steph recounted her side of the tale over the loud music with enthusiasm, bouncing in her spot her boyfriend looked grumpy at the knowledge of someone trying to get with his girl.

"He called us whore's many time as we were beside him," I deadpanned not sharing her energy. Mitches eyes darken as does Stephanies as a look of disgust shoots across her face clearly now offended by the situation.

"That ass" she hissed.

"Culo," I gave her the Italian translation with a smirk but her brows crease before shooting up with understanding.

"Well, let's get back to shaking our Culos!"

"It's not gonna work for you, nobody can equal me,"

My heart continues to pump viciously from anger as I move with Sydney and Steph, the intent of his words sit directly on my heart. My lack of a good mood doesn't go unnoticed as Steph pulls me between her, Sydney and Lexi and all started to sing a lot to the music horribly close to my ear. Steph pulls away couple songs later to say something to Mitch who then disappears with Matt. Continuing to dance to a heavy bass song, Steph directly in front of me, Sydney to one side and Lex to the other with Connor practically wrapped around her. All moving to the beat to the best of our drunk abilities and laughing at each other.

Multiple songs later, the pair return with drinks in hand but also with Auston carrying a tray of shots, of what is yet to be discovered. Matt balances multiple drinks in his hand, giving one to me with a huge grin and nodded before dishing out the rest, Mitch's hands are full of beer bottles of different variety squinching at the label before handing out to the respective owner. It was rather harmonized for a bunch of drunks. Auston as if on queue, when all the drinks we situated he started handing out the shots of -once I smelt it- whiskey to everyone as he balanced his drink.

"TO HOCKEY!" Sydney raised her shot and we all copied before slamming back to the rough liquid, instantly burning down my throat. Shaking my whole body to ease the burning before chasing with my drink. The alcohol settles into my system a sense of calm and bliss wash over my whole body.

"He calls me the devil, I make him wanna sin," The opening for one of my favorite songs floods my ears, my body instantly reacts moving to the sensual beat moving my hips proactively.

"Hotter than hell," Closing my eyes singing along off tone. "As my kiss goes down you like some sweet alcohol," I open my eyes taking a sip of my own sweet alcohol, my blues meet the dark brown of Auston couple meters away sipping his beer. The alcohol coursing through me I work around Steph and Mitch, I approach Placing my hand on his always tense shoulder his head tilting towards me curious look in his eye. Definitely not use to me being the one to come to him as usual, it's the other way.

"Relax, Auston," I coaxed leaning my head towards his shoulder so he could hear me over the pounding music. When he doesn't relax right away I pout like a spoiled brat, gliding my hand down his bicep to his hand. Pulling him and slightly pushing him to the beat, a dumb grin raising on my lips. He's resistance still held, taking my hand out of his I use it to push the one holding his drink to his lips, he drinks after he rolls his eyes. He chugs it back before setting it down on an empty random empty table and urging me to drink mine back as quickly as he did, taking my glass and setting it beside it, grabbing my hand starts leading me deeper into the crowd.

The music got louder, vibrating the floor beneath my feet. Auston's face was shadowed by the lack of lighting in this area making it increasingly hard to decipher what he's thinking. Taking a couple beats to take him in for the first time tonight, his white dress shirt not as crisp rolled to his elbows and the top buttons undone expose the hints of his strength.

He pulls me by hands and then pushes like I had done to him but ultimately puts me into him, his large hands lay on the bare skin of my back. guiding me to him as he moves with beat moving me too. Both smiling as he pulls and twirls me a couple times, I end up with my back pressed up against his chest.

We laugh and dance for many songs before deciding we should head back to the floor above with the rest of the hockey people. We stumble into the elevator knocking into each other nodding at the security as they eye our bracelets letting us through.

"Uhm did you see a big kind mean looking guy come here yet?" I ask the guard pressing buttons, referring to Matt because he was the tallest.

"That's not this guy," The guard teased my head whipped to Auston survey him to figure out why the guy thought he looked mean but he had his usual look on his face it naturally looks bitchy so I guess i could understand.

"Nah, this one just has a case of bitch face," I dismiss as Austons face forges into a mock expression offense. "It's a good look though," I padded his shoulder.

"To answer your question, I did. He was with two other guys and three girls,"

Getting off the elevator I was stumbling mildly I put it but apparently it was enough to worry Auston as his eyes were wide with worry, his hands going to my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue leading forward to the rest of the Leafs. Auston in toe as we were greeted by a waitress with some shots, grabbing one for both of us without hesitation quickly handing Auston his as I violent slam it back. Probably didn't help my stumbling situation as dizzy spell hit me, grabbing onto Auston for some support,

"So now you want my help," He teased wrapping a strong arm around my waist better stabilizing me but also him.

The party is still going but now it was more just the players and respective partners. Sitting down at a booth with William, Morgan, and James who are all wasted by the sounds of it and that they admitted they'd probably fall if they stood. They all now nursing a glass of water each, which seemed like a great idea but when I went to get out the booth Auston was there.

"You're in my way," I poked his shoulder aggressively with a pout dawning my lips. He lazily/drunkenly turned his head to me his brows raised.

"And?"

"I'm thirsty," I actually was quite parched from dancing. He stood up with a grievance but when i tried to get up he pushed me back into the booth shaking his head. "you'll fall," he mumbled but he was no soberer than me and the other guys could tell- laughing.

"Wha- do you want?" he hiccuped.

"Water, please," he nodded before wandering in the general direction of the bar- I think. I tuned back into the conversation at the table brief before getting distracted by the aching in my feet, groaning stretched my feet in front of me.

"Why don't you just take them off?" Morgan mused.

"I think they're part of me now," Was the first thing out of my mouth seriously as I frowned down at my slightly swollen feet which would only swell more and I'd never get them back on when i had to leave is actually what I could have said but they're guys they don't understand.

"She wouldn't get them back on when she had to leave," James said in a condescending tone with a dramatic roll of the eyes. The other two simply nodded giving their teammate/friend a look. Impressed I nod in agreement with him as his chest puffs out a little making us all break into laughter.

Digging my phone out of my bra for the first time tonight, unlocking it I have to blind my eyes to focus on the bright screen.

3:01 am

A tall glass of cold water is set down in front of me, instantly my hands make hast dropping my phone in my lap to grab the cold glass. The water refreshing on my throat and dry mouth. I was half gone by the time I turn to an amused looking Auston sipping a dark amber liquid.

"Oh yeah, thank you," I smiled raising my glass mock cheers tapping it against his as he sets it down. I continue to enjoy my water it made no difference in lack of sobriety but it and much more would help my head tomorrow. That reminded me that I'm not exactly sure how I am getting home even into my apartment at this point not having my keys, Steph didn't really give me the plans.

"It's 3 am! Do you know if Steph left yet?" I asked the guys no one imparticular.

"I don't think so, but you might want to check with the other Leaf lady they might no more than us," Morgan shrugged nodding towards Molly and Lucy mere feet away. Turning to Auston who's once again in my way he lazily slides out wordlessly. The rest of the guys got up also deciding they should start heading out, we said our goodbyes but Auston stayed with me as I approached Molly and Lucy.

"Hey, Do you know if Steph and Mitch Left?" I got out over the music, slightly startling the two who are quick to shoot me their huge smiles pulling me into a semi group hug.

"Yeah, I think just a bit ago. She and Mitch looked pretty eager to get outta here," Molly winked insinuating they probably left to go have sex.

"Thanks, It was great meeting you guys. I'll already know I'll be seeing lots of you guys," I drunkenly giggled as we hugged and parted ways as stressed settled on my shoulders, my drunken brain decided the best way to deal is with more shots as a waitress came up to us with another tray of vodka shots. I took two for myself and wasting no time in drinking them as I could feel the judgment radiating off Auston as we wordlessly made out way outside of the club.

"I have no idea what the hell I am gonna do?" I started to freak out when Steph didn't answer her phone so could give me an Idea of where the hell is I suppose to go. Auston was obligatorily drunk beside me leaning against the brick wall casually, staring with glazed over drunk eyes.

"What's the matter?" He sounded like a little kid as his bottom lip jutted out forming a pout.

"I can't go home, I don't have my keys to get into the building or my apartment and Steph is probably fucking Mitch right now," I curtly confessed.

"You can stay at mine," He offered instantly with a bright smile. "Plus I always stay in your guest room," he added. Seeing as I literally have no other opinion and that I'm drunk it's a great idea. Nodding with a drunken smile as I watch the same smile grace his lips.

"Perfect, let's get- outta here.I'll get uber," Pulling out his phone nearly dropping it in the process he began tapping away. He squints at the screen with extreme concentration as the task became more difficult being under the influence.

Leaning back against the cool brick waiting for him to get everything situated, shifting from foot to foot they throb but are more at the point of numb then pain. I tilt my head up looking into the light polluted sky unable to see the stars. The air is cold raising goosebumps on my bare arms and legs, the lingering sweat intensifies the chill in some areas a shiver running down my body breaking through my drunken haze.

"Let go- wait at the front,"

My head is spinning and my stomach was turning.

Where am I? The surface under me was soft and warm.

and breathing? Rolling over I fall from the comfort onto the cold floor, knocking my elbow of the too close coffee table. The sound hurts my ears as my elbow buzzes.

"Can you kill yourself quieter please?" A voice said grumbled from the couch, so I was laying on someone. Blinking my eyes open carefully, it's still rather dark meaning it's early. The ceiling is not mine and neither is any of the furniture of what I could make out.

"You can stay at mine," The memory of Auston offering me to stay at his returns to my brain as I try to decipher where the hell I am. Relief temporarily washed over my body before the need to throw up replaced it, shooting up too quick on my wobbly feet with a groan. I stumble through the dimly lit foreign apartment, loudly knocking into the coffee table again and a wall on my mission down the hall to the bathroom. Throwing open the first out of 4 doors to luckily find the toilet on the first try.

Returning to the living room still feeling the effects of alcohol. Auston now lays on his stomach, his head turned out and his mouth open but his eyes still closed. He's still asleep. Looking around the Austons place it's open concept like mine but with a lot more tall windows, the living room is separated by a kitchen island complete with bar stools. His apartment being in the corner of the building, there is a great view of the city and the water. The city light's still bright as the sun is still down.

"Auston," I nudged his shoulder but nothing happens. "Auston, come on," I pushed harder earning mumbled words and a groan. "I need to steal clothes," I whined still in my club outfit but now it's wrinkled and gross against my skin.

"Take anything," He whispered turning towards the back of the couch.

"That couch isn't good for you back, Auston," I nagged but headed towards the doors from before this time taking my time to discover where each of leads.

"You'll just have to fix it," He muttered in the couch cushion.

"Ass," but I probably will anyway.

Behind the four doors is a bathroom and laundry room on the left side, a guest rooms with a bare matress on the right and Auston's room is at the end. Walking into his room I'm hit with the scent of Auston's and not surprised by the mild mess on the floor, ties throw across a slick looking dresser with a full-length mirror to the left with a suit jacket hung on the corner.

There's a walk in closet attached to his ensuite bathroom, stealing a hoodie, a black v neck, and compression shorts. Jumping into the shower there to no surprise is only male products but luckily he cares about his skin and has a face wash and exfoliator. Turning on the water is like the other time in someone else's shower it's a puzzle but alcohol makes it near impossible until I flip something and tug another getting the water to perfect burning temperature to wash the night off my skin.

Fresh faced and now more tired than ever, the window in Auston's room showcases the starting of a beautiful sunrise. A cheerful smile lights my lips as great idea spring in my still drunk head a hungover looming dangerously. Quickly jogging back into the living room, the sound of my bare feet slapping against the hardwood. I stop at Austonsleeping figure and try to figure out how I am going to get him wake and get him onto the balcony.

Deciding on the physical way I put my arms around his chest under his arm pits and start pulling him up. His heads lulls on my shoulder, soft snores hit my neck.

"Auston, come on," I tried to pull him into a sitting position but he's dead weight being asleep.

"AUSTON!" I go to shake his shoulders but decide against it as it would cause him to puke.

"You're killing my vibe," He mumbled leaning against me now.

"Get up, you drunken arse," It was easier this time as he worked with me, pushing himself off the couch and let me guide me towards the balcony. The crisp morning air assaults both of our senses, Auston eyes shoot open with a look of confusion. I guide him down to the single outdoor love seat and sit down with him.

"What?" He mumbles eyes widening. "Sunrise?" He turned to me, hair a mess and eyes half open brow cocked. I nodded eagerly curling my legs to my chest resting my hands covered by the ends of Auston's hoodie and rested my chin on them, looking out over the water as the sun rises. A shiver runs through my spine as the breeze catches my damp hair, I pull the hoodie closer to my body and the collar over my nose enjoying the scent of Austons deterrent.

Auston's arm came around my shoulders wordlessly as he repositions me to be leaning against his chest, cocooning me with his body heat. The sensation warms my heart and colors my cheeks red as the colors in the sky start to slowly morph from dark black night into lighter hues of navy blue as the sun brings up contrasting hues of oranges, reds, and purple as night meets day.

The brighter the sun gets, my eyes become heavier as my body slowly starts to descend into peaceful slumber wrapped up and surrounded by comfort and beauty. Auston has his left arm wrapped around my shoulders playing with the damp strands of hair falling over my shoulder as his right is around the front of my stomach, his head resting on my head on chest.

"I've never been this relaxed and hungover before. I'm so conflicted right now," Auston chirpy more lively than before breaking the silence. I hummed in agreement my eyes closed as I sink into him further.

"Amelia,"

"Come on, you can't sleep out here. It's bad for your back," Auston used my words from earlier as he poked my cheek. Blinking my eyes open easier than the first time I woke up, the sun is higher in the sky than before the sun rays glistening across the water.

"And you might wanna know that the view only gets better," He mused tiredly as he probably has seen the sun rise much time since he lives here.

"Let's go to bed, the sun is starting to burn my eyes," I suggested squinting, Auston laughs his chest shaken me with it. We get up Auston stumbles into the apartment, raising his arms into a large stretch as his bones crack in multiple locations.

"I wasn't kidding about you fixing my back," He smirked collecting our phones from the floor and moving our discarded shoes closer to the door.

"Sorry, it's my day off," I shrugged with a teasing smile closing the glass door and close the blinds. He mocks offense before adjusting his hair to look half presentable tossing my phone as I got closer.

"Water, Gatorade?" He offered as yawned walking into the kitchen.

"Gatorade and Advil if you have any? I can feel my hangover creeping in," I rubbed my eyes yawning myself.

"Good idea, I think I have some in my bathroom," He handed me the bottle of grape Gatorade beckoning me to follow him as he heads in the direction of his room. Following him into his room I sit on his comfortable bed as he searched for medicine, leaning back into the mattress and soft duvet I sink into sleep.

"Here it is," He tossed the bottle beside me startling me.

"Oops uhm go back to sleep,"

I did just that as he went into the shower, pulling off the hoodie and crawling under the duvet and I didn't instantly fall asleep. The other side of the bed dipped as he gets in 15 minutes later, I could hear him fiddling with his phone but the electric sound of the curtains closing break the silence correcting my assumption as he sets into the mattress with a sigh.

"Can you fix my back later?" Whispered seeing throughmy fake sleep. Cracking open an eye he has a small smile.

"Fine, go to sleep,"

Even though it's my day off.

"Mitch! That's not how you greet people," Stephanie scolded from the couch to boyfriend just coming down stairs still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Something fell from a shelf in my closet and I thought it'd be a great idea to catch it with my face," I lied but my responds dripping in sarcasm as my face is it's usual bitchy self.

"Yeah, I at least said hi first," Morgan chirped from his spot in front me on the massage stool, my fingers digging into the tense muscles of his shoulders and back.

Morgan did at least say hello first but it was because he wasn't very awake, holding on the coffee and food he brought with a vice grip. It wasn't until we stuffed our face with fruits, breakfast sandwiches and downed strong coffee did he asked the same thing Mitch did and got the same sarcastic answer.

The morning wasn't much different than other game days but the undeniable tension of tonight's game was thick in the room.

Mitch was going through his routine with visibly more jitters as his hands slightly shake well opening the container of protein or they way his bottom lip now holds permanent residency between his teeth as he nervously nibbles the already raw flesh.

As for Morgan his muscles are taking some extra effort into releasing any stress and me telling him to relax if he wants massage to do anything for him. Everything time I go to say I'm down he stops me and says different spot needs my attention. All I could do is roll my eyes an oblige, even though my hand are starting to cramp.

"Oh babe, you're bleeding!"

Mitch had managed to bite his lip so much, he broke the skin of lip resulting in a steady stream of red down his chin. Stephanie is quick to whip away the blood with a tissue from the coffee table.

"I get that you're nervous but you can't let it do this to you, babe," Steph spoke softly as she swabbed the blood from his face. her own face screw up with worry, her brows and lips tilted down as her eyes intense yet soft as she cares for her boyfriend, Who's face matches hers but his eyes hold his love for her.

"First aid kit is...in the laundry room?" Steph questioned pulling mitch up from the couch even though he it able bodied not dead.

"Yeah, middle shelf I think or it's in the washroom if it's not there," I couldn't exactly recall where I left it last. Steph pulled hey boy into the laundry room now out of sight but not earshot, could still hear Stephanie's reassuring words and coo's as she cared for her 19 year old boyfriend like a wounded pet.

"The anxiety is real," Mo whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if he was even talking to me or just himself. He took a deep breath before continuing. "My first instinct is to chirp for being fucking human. How fucked is that?" Morgan shook his head in what I assume is shame.

"Pretty fucked because you're all in the same boat," I quirked adding to his confession with him as I finished up with the last knot in his back before my cramps and I step away from the stool now trying to massage my own knots.

"He's my rookie, I should be building him up. Let's be real here we can't do anything without our rookies," Morgan vented pausing to pull on his shirt over his head. "I mean their skill as they also make up majority of the roaster," He noted his tone lighter than his facial expression. We move to the kitchen, Morgan sat on stool at the island counter putting his head in his hands as I washed the massage oil from my hands.

"Do you think it'd be easier for them if they knew we were scared too, because I am." He raised his head as I flick water at him catching him in the face- his unamused face.

"You weren't suppose to lift your head," I defend turning off the tap but all he could do is roll his eyes. "But yeah that would probably help more than they even know," grabbing a towel I dried my hands.

"I'll talk to the A's and we'll probably do some heart felt speech," Morgan pulled out his phone and started texting rapidly.

"You could also maybe one on one. Make it more personal, like you actually care,"

"Yes, great idea!" His fingers fly across the glass of his iPhone so quick and aggressively, I am slight convinced he might break the glass.

"You could start now.... Mitch is here and William is upstairs," I suggest gesturing to the stairs and laundry room. Morgan's eyes widen at the information of Will being here.

"Why is Nylander in your bed young Amelia," Morgan wiggled his brows suggestively. Fighting the blush crawling up my chest.

"I never said my room or Bed, Morgan Rielly. He's in the spare room," I smoothly taught him.

"With that said, go see if he's awake yet," I pushed Morgan off the stool and towards the stair, jumpstarting him into a run as he loudly pounds up the stairs.

If William was asleep he's not now.

I leave my place for the ACC before the guys, they got into deep bro talk about their feelings. Walking through the halls the atmosphere is thick with the same unspoken tension as my apartment. Passing staff they spare a grimace that I guess is suppose to resemble a smile, some are busy with whatever they have been tasked with.

Hockey being such a superstitious sport, extra precautions are being put into place to make sure the players routines are undisturbed. Extra security between the lockers rooms and the rest of the building being just one of the many things added. Extra cleaners are cleaning every inch of the arena more than usual.

Getting into the medical office, its shockingly not a clutter mess. It usually looks like a first aid kit threw up in here but today everything is in it place. Still in shock I slowly set my bag on the desk before starting to set up the physio table and setting out the needed tapes, wraps and bandages for the morning. Even thought the leafs roaster is healthy we still got though a lot of medical supplies.

The cleanness lasts about thirty minutes, players start coming into to get treated or taped before the morning skate.

All of them asked the same thing.

'What happened to your face?'

Some more outright and boisterous than others who subtly ask or motion to my face.All getting the same closet story I came up with this morning, earning laughs and shakes of the head -especially the older guys.

"Amelia, you're in the tunnel tonight. It seems to work great last time-Uhm- same stuff as last game," Paul said stuffing the radio with the ear piece into hands before looking up from his clipboard giving me a weird look before motioning to his face with raised brow.

"I won't ask but I'll get you a hat before game time if you'd like," Paul offered to refer to the obvious camera exposure being near the bench, my eyes widen at the realization.

"Please," I breathed as he chuckled before going on about other important details for tonight for an hour before I help the rest of the medical staff with tape and bandaging as well as my own things, massaging tense muscles and knots from backs, necks and various body parts that belong to restless hockey players.

Couple hours later when I finally take a break, I plop onto the office chair in front a computer in the office. Taking out my phone from my bag, I have a text from Steph.

'Early Dinner/ late lunch without hockey?' -Steph

'Yes. Please.'

"This amount of testosterone is going to suffocate me!!!'

I chuckle as I pressed send on my lame joke. Dropping my phone into my lap I lean back in the office chair cracking my knuckles and wringing out the cramps in my hand muscles and up my arms.

"Oh who you texting?" Came the soft deep tone of the Dutch goalie. Unawaringly scaring me in the process, jutting me forward knocking my phone to the floor as I spun around to the door to see him lean against the door frame with a smirk, his eyes drop to my nose before returning to my eye but doesn't comment.

"You are way too light on your feet for your size, Freddie," I jokingly scold. "But Stephanie is the answer to your question," the ginger goaltender scoffs at the mention of his size.

"Are you calling me fat?" He fake gasped.

"Totally," I rolled my eyes before picking my phone up and sending Steph the time I'll be home, Returning my attention to Freddie he's still smirking.

"You ready Freddie?" I teased but his smirk dropped as he breathes out.

"Absolutely not," He confessed closing his eyes with a wince and sigh.

"You wanna talk?" My face mimicking his frown and brows creased in worry.

"Kind of but not really. I am nervous but I'm excited," A small smile creeps on both our face at the affirmation of positively.

"But I feel like I'm not allowed to be as scared as I am," swiping his hand through his ginger locks with a sarcastic laugh.

I am stunned at his words.

"I know I project myself as this person void of emotions but honestly, sometimes I want to be expressive but it's hard. Sometimes my English isn't strong enough to express myself when I am feeling too many things," His posture slack against the frame as his eyes are trained on the floor between us.

"and you can't all of sudden be expressive because then the media will go fucking nuts," I noted mulling over some of his words also taking in how his accent gets thicker with the more he talks. The goalie chuckles at my swearing.

"Yeah, pretty much," now making eye contact as my brain processes.

"You know you don't have to go out declaring your emotions but if bottling them up makes you feel suffocated, It seems one on one is more than enough for you," I paused trying to think of some form of plausible solution for him.

"You could just find couple people you trust and be as expressive as you wish them," I shrugged.

"That's why I am here, Amelia," My eyes widen as thing start turning in my head.

"But-I'm flatter, yes- but you just met me?" I said dully.

"I've seen how you interact with everyone enough to know I can trust you with something as trivial as emotions and I am kind of going on instinct here, should I not trust you?" His tone teasing but serious about his words.

"Well, I guess I have no choice but to be your emotional advisor,"

"You got that right, Darlin" Both broke into fits at his bad attempt at a southern accent.

"I will listen as long as you never ever do that again," I half joked, sticking my hand out for a shake, as he grasped my hand he pulled me from my chair and into a hug.

"Deal," He said pulling away from a beat later.

"With that all being said, I hope you get some rest before the game as I have a dinner date with Mitch's Girlfriend to get to," On cue, I felt my stomach grumble in need for sustenance. As quietly he arrived, he left when I turned around to gather the rest of my things.

Hockey free food sounds so good.

A sense of nostalgia flooded my brain with memories of weekends spent hanging around arenas watching my brother play lacrosse or hockey- sitting away from my dad because he had a bad habit of yelling louder than the coach. My moms look of disapproval when I would come home smelling like an equipment bag from carrying my brother's things simply because I could.

My warm fuzzy moment lasted until my heart clenched at the other memories associated with the previous ones but weren't that of good times of love but of hate. My mother's disapproval didn't end at simple looks or glares, she had a burning hatred for my father and she would always make sure I knew it. She was a cold lady in contrast to my warm as the sun father. I could never fathom how they ever got together but the story is something to do with my Nonna's playing matchmaker.

Gripping the steering wheel, my knuckles turn white in an attempt to gain some stability over my rampageous memories that are usually repressed to the extent they don't even exist anymore. A couple of deep breaths reminded of my need to go home and shower but first I need a fatty burger and fries.

My phone buzzed on the passenger seat beside my over sized bag of McDonalds as I pulled into the underground of my building.

Steph: MAde iit HOOME, LOVE YOUUU

wait das for MITCHHHHHY but love u toooooo

sent 11:01pm

Chuckling at the drunk messages I grab a hand full of salty goodness shoving it in my mouth, arranging the McDonalds bag and drink to sit on the roof before grabbing my purse and work bag from the trunk. The hat I was wearing all night sitting on top of my bag made me stop and laugh.

The navy blue hat had the simple Leafs logo in the same shade making rather difficult to make out but the design that sticks out the most to me- would be '34' in silver on the right-hand side above the brim.

"Nice hat," Now makes sense.

Groaning I flick the offending object deep into my trunk grabbing my bag, slinging it and my purse over my shoulder. Grabbing the McDonalds bag with more force than needed I am off towards the elevator in my delayed embarrassed state- grumbling and mumbling curses.

The apartment is silent and dark when i enter still feeling the effects of embarrassment on my cheeks. Kicking off my black runners somewhere near where there are suppose to be, silently making my way up the stairs where the sounds of Steph shower running makes my ears twitch.

"So she's not too drunk," I sigh a bit relieved.

I drop off a box off 10 nuggets on Steph's bed with some sweet n sour sauce the shower still on in the bathroom across the hall, steam, and light leaking through the bottom of the door. The familiar scent of Stephanie's Lavender products hits my nose as I pass on the way to my room.

Laying in bed, my thoughts wandering into my past which brings a feeling that is anything but nostalgic, deep seeded sadness aches in my chest pulling memories of my mom into the forefront of my brain that I do not wish to recall, Staring up a at my ceiling for a moment longer I turn onto my right grabbing my phone off the adjacent table as still charges. I adjusted myself to sit against my head board so I don't unplug my phone.

12:00 am

Scrolling through snap chat stories the sensation of the win re inhabits my chest replacing the dull ache caused thinking too deep, viewing some the guys snaps and Steph's watching the game. Wide smiles take up a majority of the videos and photos. Mitch has a video with his mom dancing in the kitchen with his dad, William has many videos from the celebration in the locker room.

Checking my personal snaps-which a normal person would have done first- I have some from Steph and Sydney all of the game from the WAGS box or their wine glasses captioned STRESSED. Snaps from Will making fun Mitch or just dumb face.

The last one being from Auston. It's a photo of me with that damn hat blocking my face as I massaged out a cramp on someone's leg, The 34 was visible from whatever vantage point he had. The caption 'Always Knew I was your favorite' with a simple smiley face.

Taking a picture of a close-up eye roll 'Haha' sent at 12:14am . Locking my phone and resituating to be on my back again staring at my ceiling, this time a foreign feeling is occupying my chest cavity.

I didn't Mind it.

Am34 opened 12:15am

The next day the routine went the same as any other game but with a better attitude now that the Leafs officially clinched their spot in the playoffs. It was decided before the game that regardless what the outcome was there was going to be celebrations tonight because they couldn't last night.

I had no choice on whether I was going or not. Steph has decided for me and had put a case of red bull into my car and had insisted that I take a nap between the morning skate and the game. As I was asleep she packed me a change of clothes, shoes, and makeup that she would bring with her to Sydney where we would be getting ready with a couple other girls.

"Make sure you drink water and eat this so you'll last tonight. I will meet you in the family area after the game and don't you worry about the rest," Steph said ominously on my way out of the apartment shoving a bag from the Italian bistro café downstairs into my hands. The scent of a pasta entrancing my nose.

"CARBS! LOTS OF CARBS!" She continued to yell at me even as I was getting into the elevator. She sent follow up messages of excitement and further instructions to bring one energy drink in with me to drink as soon as the game ends.

This girl meant business when it came to partying.

There was some importance to the game that remained to be played if they won they would be facing Ottawa in the first round but if they lost it would be Washington. There was more tension right before the game when everyone was dressed than the morning during the skate.

This time I brought my own plain navy blue hat that was completely unmarked, it covered my still sore nose much better than the other one anyways- reminded me the fact I would need a thick layer of both foundations and conceal finished with a lot of powder and concrete setting spray.

The first period was uneventful but the home team was out shooting the visitors going into the second when James got the first 2 minutes into the period than the second 4 minutes after. They held the lead for 10 minutes until Columbus started to light it up much to the chagrin of the Leafs.

The blue jackets were winning 3-2 going into the third and it, unfortunately, stayed that way until the final buzzer where there was some useless roughing around the opposition goalies net before the players cleared the ice with disappointment still on their faces because even though they have their playoff spot they still lost.

Babs still tore them a new before a complete 180 about getting ready for what's to come in the playoffs, media come in like a wildfire and much to Auston's obvious dismay he couldn't escape them. The playoffs now in the near future the media was doubled and more demanding for answers the Media team standing near ready to shut the media down if they asked too much.

As soon as the media was ushered out of the room the guys that were being kept hostage by cameras and microphones flew into the showers to get out of the build. I was massaging out cramps sending players to at least 10 minutes in the hot tub. When I was down my duties and was about to help the physio I was grabbed by the shoulder and pushed into the staff area and instructed to get my stuff together by half dressed Mitch with a smirk- clearly under his girlfriend's instructions.

Exiting the dressing room through the side door and into the family area Steph stood waiting with an evil glint in her eyes with Sydney who was grinning wide an equally evil look.

"Let's get fucked up," The blondes cheered with toned down excitement due to the presence of surrounding people.

"Hope you drank that Red Bull," Stephanie teased as I lead them to the employee parking, having to flash my ID badge to open the door the elevator door and descended to my level. Stephanie was wiggling her ass around and Sydney was shimmering her shoulder to the beat of their own drums.

"You shaved your legs right?"

"and your lady bits" Sydney started and Steph finished cracking each other up, igniting a flame to my cheeks. Ushering the girls out of the elevator and towards the car with a scolding glare both giggling. Sydney calls shotgun but Steph calls AUX. Tossing my crap into the trunk the blondes get situated in the car, as soon as my butt hits the seat a can of energy drink is being pushed to my mouth.

Smartly, Sydney programs her address into my GPS so she doesn't have to yell the direction of the music blasted through my stereo, shaking the whole car. We were those people at the stop light where even though your windows are up you can hear our music. It's not as bad as I am making it out to be, I was dancing to the beat and singing my heart out like it was Car Idol.

I was ordered out of my clothes and into a silky blue robe when I entered the luxurious apartment. We were drinking as we were getting ready. It took a village to get me ready, Lexi Solof Connor Carrick's lovely girlfriend was curling my hair as both Stephanie was working on my face, piling on the full coverage liquids and powder onto my nose layer by layer until the bruising wasn't visible unless you look hard and with the proper light that the club will not have. Stephanie did my eyeshadow with dark brown and golds for a Smokey eye, a lot of mascara and a set of false lashes - my eyes were briefly glue shut.

"All you need is a hot red lip but we'll do lipstick just before the guys get here," Molly soon to be Bozak winked handing out flutes of champagne to everyone that was quickly chugged back in the least lady like way. Notice I am the only one left to get dressed Stephanie handed me the dress bag containing my mysterious outfit as I stepped into the ensuite bathroom.

I cringed at the tall black strap heels at first but quickly changed my attitude as the alcohol courses through my body. Slipping into the sexy but seamless black thong Stephanie packed I knew the dress was tight.

My outfit was hot.

it wasn't actually a dress because it was two parts.

I had one an off the shoulders black top that had specks of golden weaves through different areas that would sparkle if they caught the light in a certain way that stopped inches before my belly button and the skirt was a tight high waisted encil skirt with the same gold accent that stopped just below mid thigh, my stomach was exposed but I felt amazing.

Stepping into the bedroom out of the ensuite the room was completely cleaned of makeup and clothing. The party moved to the living room by the sounds of female laughter clinking of glasses. The now empty bag and robe in hand I re-joined the part with drunken female whistles.

"YES!!" Sydney chanted stunted over in her glorious heels stopping inches still shorter than me, she cupped one of my breasts with admiration on her face.

" You got a great rack!" She cheekily quipped. Laughing I adjusted my strapless bra back to comfort with a wiggle. A glass full of blue liquid was presented to both of us and instructed to chug. Without question, I obey I down the sweet concoction.

A mini party was had before the guys showed up, when the guys did come I was sat my back to the door on the couch with Lucy soon to be Gardnier talking about her love for Jake, It was the cutest thing. Her love was so raw and true in shown in her eyes and gave her a glow, a lot of the girls here had the glow to think about it. Their smiles shined so brightly they could light the room without the need of the light fixtures currently doing just that. There are about 7 girls here, I being the only single one. Molly, Stephanie, Sydney, Lucy, Lexi, and Jaz who was Kadris Gorgeous girlfriend. All these girls were beyond beautiful it was intimating if I wasn't already buzzed but they are also so warm and friendly.

I didn't turn around instantly being in a conversation with Lucy but as soon as they guys found their respective lady. I took in that the guys were all dressed in their game day suites but looked refreshed, some hair was still damp or at least looked that way. Morgan, James, William, Kasperi, and Auston gravitated to the kitchen for drinks. Glancing at my half full/empty glass of something Jaz mixed, I remembered I still need to apply my lipstick.

"Hey Steph, Where'd you put that lipstick?" I caught her attention instantly with a glamorous smile, she stood with Mitch the heels giving her a lift she comes to his nose but my own hear give me height on Mitch. Now standing 6'1" In the heels.

"See, abs are better than yours," Steph reference the morning at the hotel, earning a glare/pout from Mitch and laughter from the guys and I.

"Don't tease the poor boy," I cooed. Steph kissed her pouting boy who instantly swapped his pout for a smirk.

"The lipstick?" I urged sipping my drink.

"Oh yeah, here" She handed me the lipstick from her bra dropped the weirdly warm lipstick into my palm.

"The warmth makes it apply evenly I swear but Boobs are a creative storage place," She mused playing with the hair at her boy's neck who twitch with a giggle.

The lipstick added the final touch to my look for sure, but I had to work on now smudging it. I carefully downed the rest of my drink feeling the tequila burn my throat a little as I stepped out of the bathroom shaking my head with a bit of a cough.

"AMELIA. SHOT!" Mitch hollered out as I enter the room, everyone had a shot of tequila with lime in hand. One was placed into my hand in a flash by a grinning William.

"LET THE NIGHT BEGIN!" Sydney cheered raising her glass slamming the back the alcohol violently. Following her lead well being mindful of my lipstick I expertly slam it back, goose bumps instantly raising my arms as I bit into the sour lime my shoulder shake on instinct.

"Oh god, that was horrible," Connor groaned out queueing a laugh to bubble from my chest.

Everyone lingers around drinking and talking as I observe I can feel an intense set of eyes on me, looking up to be met with the dark brown and calculating eyes of Auston a smile/smirk combo tilting the edge of his lips up as he talks to Mo and Kasperi. I look away first, finding a conversation with Mitch, Steph, and William.

"Your nose looks great," William quipped with the slightest of knowing smiles and a wink, my elbow 'on reflex' went out to greet his side with 'oof' when I get to his side.

" You look amazing in general though," He added with a genuine grin this time, instantly a blush worked up my neck, ears, and cheek.

It was roughly midnight by the time we were piled into XL ubers to get to a high-end club where the rest of the Leafs would be already celebrating, someone the guys used they're status to get practically a floor for the team and who they wish is what I've gathered from being in car with The Bozaks, Marners and Myself sitting in the back slightly squished by Mitch into the Window.

Arriving at the club we drove past the insane line in the front down a side road to the back of the club to enter privately to the excluded area. Instantly greeted by security and club staff handing wristbands to everyone to get into the excluded area but also the other VIP areas, also taking the names of everyone (even the hockey player) for the cliche list.

I've been in clubs but I have never been in one as intensely luxurious as this one, to get to the area for the guys we have to take an elevator which has two guards in front of it on all floors plus one that stays in the actual elevator.

Getting wear the rest of the team is, there are way too many faces to remember but a lot are familiar which provides some comfort. An elegantly dressed woman yet slightly exposed makes rounds with rounds with food provided by the club and others have trays of alcohol that's cover by I believe the players? Steph had made sure I left everything but my ID and phone in my car much to my dismay.

The first while being in the club, everyone was all over the place talking to each other before people gravitated to booths others went to the main floor to dance. I was currently buzzed and listening to JVR tell an embarrassing story about Mo and his tooth and something about difficulty pronounces some letter at first. The drinks were flowing in me giving me a pleasant buzz as I listen to anyone around me that talks.

My blissful nothing doesn't last long before the twin terrors of Steph and Syd set themselves into the booth beside me both bouncing to the beat of the heavy bass to the loud music, Setting down multiple shot glasses before me.

"Drink! then we're down to dance!" The smaller blonde yelled over the music into my ear. Tossing the vodka shots down with a grimace I nod as they cheer drag me through the bodies on the VIP floor. The added alcohol added to my confidence as I stride with them instead of letting myself be dragged like a child.

"I'm just gonna tell Matt first," Sydney sober briefly rerouting our course to where her boy sits with Mitch, William, Auston, and Connors. Lexi sits in her Connors lap with a drunken grin. pulling up to the table with our own drunken grins.

"LEXI! we're going down to dance! come come!" Sydney encourages before turning to her man with a fire in her eye "You too stud," she shoots an obnoxious wink and a becoming finger, Matt is instantly pushing Mitch and Auston out of the booth to get to his women both eyes burning with desire- leaving his two rookies practically on the floor.

"Oh, Mitchy come come!" Steph sinks her manicured claws into Mitches bicep begins leading towards the exit via the bar where we all renew our drinks continuing to the elevator nodding to the security with cheesy grins plus a loose smile from Auston as we enter.

I observed the desert rookie from the other side of the elevator car as he has swayed to the music but remains tense, his dress shirt is slightly unbutton making his chain noticeable and glimmer under the lighting, and His hair slightly messy in comparison to the way it was slicked back earlier.

He caught my eye with a raised brow but my brain does do it usual melt down, I wink with wide smile showcasing my all teeth. His brows shoot up cause a laugh to escape as the door open and I am being lead to the dance floor with the girls.

Leaving him behind.

"I have a good feeling about tonight," Sydney said firmly taking a large sip from her red wine, jealous as I sip my lime water because I have a long night of work still ahead of me.

"God, I hope you're right," Steph taking a needed gulp of her white wine.

"We can only hope," I agreed not knowing if I could handle the level of emotions if they lose tonight, the tension today is any indication. "Freddie, Mo, and Will all came to me about tonight's game. They're really scared," I leave out the interaction with Auston because it seemed wrong felt wrong to say anything for some reason.

Scanning over the Menu, I decide on Gnocchi Dish and a salad to start. Growing up in a household where Italian was spoken more than English, I barely notice that the menu was probably hard to understand for the rest of the table until Steph spoke up.

"What the hell is Antipasti?" both blondes looking confused.

"It's just dishes that aren't pasta. You want to look under Paste or Secondi those are Main dishes," I said casually my eyes not leaving the menu.

"You understand this gibberish?" Came Stephanie's slightly surprised response.

"Uhm yeah- I am Italian," I said slowly looking up to met Steph's wide eyes before her face morphs into one of confusion again.

"Since when?" She asked dumbly and visible face palming herself as the words left her mouth, Sydney finding the situation amusing as her lips pulled into a tiny smile as her shoulder shaking with laughter.

"About birth, I think as my parents are Italian. I thought you could kinda tell, you know olive skins and dark hair," I teased sipping my water as her eyes scan over my face taking in my features with a scowl.

I thought it was obvious that I was at least European.

"Man, I don't know much about you Do I?" She frowned at her wine making me frown.

"I'm a private person, Steph. It's not your fault," I offered, she nodded before continuing on trying to read the menu before again realizing she doesn't speak the language and groaning.

"I don't like mushrooms, what should I get?"

We ended up all ordering a pasta dish, which we all devoured quite un-lady like but we couldn't care because we were hungry and having a good time. Stephanie and Sydney take turns sharing the embarrassing tales that are their boyfriends and the things they do that would totally get them chirped within an inch of their lives if any of the guys heard.

We take dessert to go because we were running out of time but also we stuffed with carbie goodness. Sydney stole my phone and insisted we had to hang out more as she entered her number into my phone with slight difficulty from a bit too much wine for this early in the day when the night hasn't started yet but she had claimed if she was going to remain sane during the game she had to start now, which is quite understandable.

Parting ways as the other two girls head to one of the other WAGs places that are around the corner for some pre-drinking before the game. I drive the 15 minutes home, change and throw my dessert into the back of the fridge before heading back to the ACC to get ready for the night.

The medical room is empty apart from a couple physiotherapist checking over the medical supplies and preparing the packs for the bench tonight, Sparing a couple of greets before heading into the administrative office to work on some paperwork, recording who I've treated today and why.

When players start coming in, the atmosphere immediately shifts into a severe game mode. Quickly saving my work to the hard drive before logging off before heading out into the medical area where Leo Komarov, Nazem Kadri, and Nikita Zaitsev sit on the tables getting their ankles and wrist taped by the staff. Zaits and Leo speaking in a language I can only guess is Russian. Kadri looking bored as he stares intently as the staff tapes his left wrist with laser precision. There's heavy bass music coming from the actual locker room and the usual commotion of men getting ready.

  Spending about a half hour helping the therapist tape and massaging out tensions, Paul came around handing me a Leafs hat with a wink before continuing with players that came in. Setting the hat with my wind break in the staff area quickly before getting back to taping.

 "It's not serious, I'm just a little sore," A familiar grumpy looking Auston is being pushed into the room by an equally grumpy looking Matt Martin. Both in their under armor compression tops loose shorts with compression leggings under.

"Well, We have the resources to make you not sore. So shut the fuck up," Matt pushed the rookie further through the door, searching the room for someone and when his eyes land on me coming out of the staff area his face breaks in relief.

"Amelia! Talk some sense into this boy," He practically growled as Auston looks bashful not making eye contact.

"I got it from here Marty, Go terrorize Mitch or something," I shooed the larger man who leaves as I approach Auston, stopping three feet in front with my arms crossed my chest.

"Is it your back, again?" I gained Auston's attention.

"Your face," Is his only response making me roll my eyes.

"Box fell on my face, Now your back," I insisted it

Auston was unbreaking in our stare down, eyes steady and body language strong.

"Fine, you don't have to say anything. I can find you sore spot without you telling me," I sigh with a shrug. Auston is unmoving as I circle to his back taking his the mountain of muscle through the skin tight fabric. Panning my eyes from his neck to his hips (by default his bum). Instantly I can see the way he's standing his left lower side sore by the fact his left hip is pulled higher than his right.

Rolling my eyes at this guys stubbornness, I carefully lay my the palm of my hand in his lower back above his hip. Feeling the muscle tense followed by a wince so quick I almost missed it, there's a tiny beginning of a knot but it's deep.

With no warning, I dig the heel of my palm into the bundle of offending muscle and push. Auston gasps as I flex my hand and adjust my hand to now my fingers working out the tension until I feel the muscle release.

Stepping away, I circle back to his front with a frown and a glare.

"I'm aware that hurt Auston. We are here for a reason, you stay here well I get A535 for that," Forcefully pushing him to sit on the table closest giving him a pointed look. Darting to the supply cabinets, searching the shelves for the cream.

 Returning the table, my mouth dry's seeing as Auston took off his shirt in the little time I was gone, pausing in step briefly regaining composure. You are a professional-ACT LIKE ONE, AMELIA.

"It'll be easier if you lay down, " He wordlessly moves to a laying position now listening to suggestions. Uncapping and applying probably more than need amount of the cream directly to his lower back. Tossing the bottle on to a table I began rubbing the Goop around the offending area and his upper back but keeping the pressure on his lower back.

"Okay, that should do it," I pulled away 5 minutes later. My hands feeling gross because of heating and cooling properties. "Now go kick some Crosby ass," I teased as Auston sat up pulling his shirt on shaking his head.

"I'll try," with a wink and he leaves to finish getting ready.

After washing the cream from my hands, I spend the time until I have to go into the tunnel cleaning the medical room and spinning on an office chair. Paul eventually came in with a radio and ear piece for me before disappearing again, a sign I need get my act together. Pulling on the windbreaker, adjusting my ponytail before slipping the hat on, sticking the ear piece in and clip the radio to my belt.

  The music gets louder the closer it is until warm up, the air is thick with nerves and static excitement. Some of the guys are stoic others are non-stop movement and energy (Mitch). The energy is sure enough to give anyone goosebumps but having seen some of the work gives me crazy jitters myself.

  Coming into the commotion after Babcock does his speech and lines, he stands back as the guys start gathering the rest of their equipment on their body before starting to file towards the sliding doors. Morgan came up to me doing the random hand shake from last night before pausing about to bop my nose deciding that might not be the best idea.

"Kick some ass," I quipped as he wattles away with a laugh and a thumbs up. Freddie comes over and bonks the rim of my hat with a subtle wink.

"Amelia, have you met the newest 'baby leaf'," Connor brown come over with William rolling his eye at the term 'baby leaf'. They make way for a fresh face Kasperi.

"TOLD YOU," I cheered as a huge grin spreads across his face.  The blue of his jersey and helmet bringing out the blue in his eyes like to does with William and Mitch (and half the team).   Fist bumping before he's whisked away by some vets claiming to show him the way.

"Amelia, Can you grab the sticks? They were supposed to be out already." The equipment manager pleaded his hair a mess.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"I'll get one of the other staff to help, you're just the first person I saw," he breathed. I shook my head explaining I would require help, he nodded before running off to stress about something else.

Wondering the side door to the ice the sticks lay against the door waiting. There are two bundles as each player have multiple.

It takes two trips to get both bundles to the bench, I can tell why he had said he'd find someone to help as each bundle was quite heavy but I like to lift heavy things. 

There's a collective holy shit as the Leafs get the first goal of the game but then Kessel matches with his own for the penguins.  The air leaves the entire building when Freddie goes down, there are orders being blasted through the radio as soon as he comes to the bench and down the tunnel.  Mac swears and fumbles a fit getting up as an assistant brings him his mask and his stick and pat his back.

"You got this Big Mac," I chirp when he's on the ice turned to the bench getting a drink of water. He laughs and squirts the water at me, I duck to the side. The laughter lasts a couple seconds before it's serious time again and I'm back to jumping and reacting to everything happening on the ice but keeping my mouth shut.

There are seconds left in the second when Auston is involved in a knee to knee collision and "she drops. The entire bench starts swearing and cursing the opponent.

"Get up, get up," I chant under quietly willing the 6'3" center to get up -he does after what seems like minutes but was only seconds. His face gives away that he's in pain as he skates off and straight down the tunnel.

Pissed.

"Amelia, Matthews is saying you know what to do," was the first thing through the radio seconds later, the players haven't even cleared the cleared the bench yet.

"He knows I'm not a doctor, right?" I radioed back but still made my way into the locker room after the players, wasting no time getting to the medical room.

Auston's still taking off his gear, he adds a majority of it off already. I stood there blank face- wondering if this guy was serious right now?

"I'm not a doctor, Auston" I insisted glaring at the stupid teenage hockey player. The team doctor is standing over him with a similarly concerned glare.

Auston's face is a mix of uncomfortable pain and protest- grumpy. He opens his mouth but closes it when my glare deepened.

"It's just my my back, the same spot from earlier,"

"I'm not touching you until the doctor says it's just that,"  I declare challenging him to object my voice firm. He gives in nodding and the doctor begins his examination. My eyes still trained on Auston with a mighty glare.

"Why are you glaring at me now?"  A whine in his voice as his posture is slouched over like a child.

" 'cause you're an idiot, idiot,"  Crossing my arm and rolling my eyes like the adult I really am.

"Well it seems it's just what he said unless he's hiding something," The doctor pointed into Auston's knee trying to gage a reaction but nothing so the doctor dismisses himself.

"See, told you,"  Auston's tone flat but teasing.

"I need alcohol whips, tape and bio freeze,"

"And gloves,"

After applying a thick coat of bio freeze and a lot of pressure on the trouble spot, I let the Bio freeze seep into his skin and into his muscle before wiping away the excess cream with an alcohol wipe then getting started on taping the area for support.

In the end, I felt like I was sending an arts n craft project onto the ice with the amount of tape I used, I was praying for it to at least half for the period. The game is tied at 2 and the mood was still high and so was the dwindling energy.

It was Gardiner that broke the tie- not in the way we need.

Own goal.

The mood depleted instantly but luckily it was still relatively early in the period but that didn't stop the swearing and yelling from both benches. Auston was like a hellhound on the ice, he was rushing the net but they wouldn't go in.

"Fuck," I swore again when another brilliant play didn't work.  The fourth line and Auston were in a rush, the defense was crowding him when he passed back to Hunwick who with quick hands flicked to Kasperi and it was in the net the next.

Tie game

6:30 Minutes left

The building erupted in deafening cheers, I was jumping on a security guard in the tunnel not caring. The line did their fist bumps down the bench and the lines reset on the ice, on with play with a surge of adrenaline pushing them fast than Pittsburgh.

3 minutes late Connor Brown scored, deflecting the puck from Gardiners shot into the back of the net behind Fleury. The crowd somehow got even louder than I thought could be humanly possible. Paul was cheering and swearing into the radio.

4-3

2:30 minutes left

  A flame was lit under both team, Toronto working insanely hard to maintain the lead as Pittsburgh tried to take it, with multiple great plays but even better moves from Curtis McElhinney shutting even the great Sidney Crosby. 

Auston solidified the win with an empty netter down the ice for his 40th goal of the season.

5-3

3.4 Seconds left

THEY DID IT.

THEY WON.

Getting back to the medical room is tricky because of the all the media in the hall and celebration of the Leafs in the locker room. Getting in its void of life but still a mess but knowing how things go it's only going to get worse because the real treatments start after media.

When media left it got busy with many bodies because there is still a game to play tomorrow against the blue jackets, lucky I was in one of the private room to do treatments but not so lucky because some have yet to shower. As soon as I finished with Mitch I sent his ass to the showers 'cause he smelt so bad, then to the contrast pool for his legs-most players is in the hot tubs or contrast pool (extremely cold water). Leo is swearing in multiple languages as he sinks into an ice bath.

"Nice hat,"  Auston's voice startled me into the cabinet I am currently standing in front of arranging the blankets. Spinning around my hand over my pounding heart, Auston Stands in front of the closed door to the small room on the other side of the massage table looking- bashful.

"I owe you an apology but also a huge thank you,"  Running his hands through his hair nervously with the beginnings of a smile gracing his lips. I raised a brow at him, my head slightly tilted in confusion.

"I apologize for my stubbornness and for the position I put you in with Dr. Bettle but I was worried that I wasn't going to be cleared to play and I don't know what I would of down if that happened," His eyes close at the image of possibly not being able to play the rest of the most important game- my heart ached for him.  "Thank you for being really fucking good at your job, I-I honestly forgot there was even an injury well playing," He admitted with a shy smile.

"Anytime, Auston,"

"I'll be holding you to that," He winked.

"Please keep all emergencies during the day time," I teased but was being serious, taking a deep breath a rather ripe scent assaulted my nostrils.

"Oh my god, Auston! GO SHOWER,"

I don't have to see Ricky's face to know he's smirking, slowly he reaches the hand to the knob to turn up the SIA song but I beat him to it with volume control on the stirring wheel.

"IM GONNA SWIIING FROM THE CHANDELIER!!!!!!!!" I belt out the familiar lyrics with a huge grin despite the exhaustion weighing on my shoulders, at this moment I am carefree singing horribly as I drive my brother to his lacrosse practice, He's lucky the Arena is 5 minutes away from my apartment or he'd be shit out of luck.

I am way out of breath by the time the song finishes. I am in fits of laughter and so it Ricky, my core just gets more and more sore with every laugh.

"Oh, my....My abs....they hurt" I wheezed leaning my head on the wheel as I stop in front of the lacrosse arena, Ricky's still incomplete fits his head leaning against the window, tears rolling down his cheeks as he tries to catch his breath but going into fresh hysterics every time.

"Okay...get out of my car before you make me suffocate because I can-I can't breathe," I laugh out some more before finally getting some control, resting my hands on my clenched belly, taking deep calming breaths.

"Okay, okay I am going but I have a question," He's tone gets serious at the end making my brows furrow, slightly worried at what is next to come out of his mouth.

"So... My birthday is coming up and I was hoping I could have a party........at your place?" Ricky's puppy dog eyes have always been a weakness those big baby blues can make anyone weak. Right now that is what I am facing, the infamous begging face that Ricky only pulls when he really wants something.

"Did you ask Dad or your mom already?" I quizzed not really want my place to be overrun by Rick and his buddies. Ricky's shoulder slump and he don't look me in the eye, I raised my brow at him.

"..no..."

We lock in a staring contest, my face 'are you kidding me' Ricky's eyes are pleading. My eyes narrow at him.

"Why my place?" I whined pouting.

"Uhm Have you see the view? also, your place is fucking amazing!" He grins sensing he's winning the battle but I am not giving up that hard.

"I hate you" I started as his face morphs into sheer happiness making my heart swell, happy people are the best.

"You clean everything whether it's you personally or someone else, as long I am not doing it. Something goes missing you're replacing it, same goes for if anything breaks. The last call is 3 am everyone out by 4 and we'll discuss a date when I am not this exhausted and if I say it's over you bet your little ass IT IS OVER," I raised a brow challenging him to disagree with anything i just said. Ricky instantly jerked up and hit his head on the roof in excitement before literally tumbling out my car and onto the sidewalk before getting up and jumping up.

"AH! Yes, okay we'll talk when you're no longer a zombie," Ricky was all smiles as we said our goodbyes as he got his gear from my truck and into the facilities where some of his teammates met and him. By the cheers, I am guessing he told them that I said Yes- with conditions. I honk and wave before leaving for my apartment where I have food to make and a bed to sleep in.

Pissed is an understatement.

I was livid.

Mitchell Marner the little shit that he is is eating the food that he watched me meal prep last Sunday, and he is well aware that the food he is eating is the last of my prep for this week.

He sat at the barstool at the counter looking like a deer caught in headlights, a guilty look in his eyes as the empty container lay on the surface before him before he pushes it towards an unsuspecting William who is eating a salad.

"Nope, this is your problem," the words slightly muffled by the salad he's shoveling into his mouth as he pushes the container back to him shaking his head.

Taking a deep- a very deep breathe, I lock my eyes with Mitchells scared ones. Emotionless I approach the man-child.

"I am going to shower because I have had a long day, I would love to of been able to eat relaxed for the rest of the night. Having worked out this morning, gone to work and more training after. Thinking 'Oh I have food ready at home' otherwise I wouldn't have gone to training but now here's how we're gonna do this, so I don't murder you. The only reason you're still breathing is that I have burned all the energy in my body and I can't replenish unless I have the specific amount of protein, calories, and carbs." My face and voice level and calm, making Mitch squirm as William watches with wide eyes.

"You are going to go get me food, and it's going to match my nutation plan, reasonable if I say so myself," I held back a smile as Mitch's shoulder slump in relief when he learns that he gets to live for another day, only because all of Toronto would kill me.

After giving Mitch earful of the exact grams and ml of what needs to be in my food and what food I do or do not like. Like a little puppy with, his tail between his legs he retreats out of the apartment collect his jacket and keys.

"Thanks for not killing my boyfriend! I would of if I was you, No one touches my food," Steph said coming down the stairs, by her still wet hair she just out of the shower.

"Will, Honey you know you don't live here right?" Stephanie approached her fellow blonde with a teasing smile as she throws her arm around his shoulders giving him a side hug. A red tint started to spread across his cheeks as he's still eating. He takes moment to swollen the contents in his mouth before responding.

"That I am aware, but that brings up what I was meaning to ask Amelia this morning," He pauses and his face looking shyer than I have ever seen it. My brows furrow with concern, Steph face mirroring mine.

"Uhm.... well Can I stay in the guest room tonight?" His eyes big and sad.

I responded the same time as Steph.

"Of course,"

"Why?"

Steph's face morphs into one of confusion and suspicion as she steps away from the poor boy, as if William burned her, making William frown and making my heart ache.

Sad William is the worst and most terrible thing I have ever witnessed and if there's a way for him to not be sad, I'd most likely do. I am a pushover, especially when I am this tired.

"Awe Steph don't be mean to him," I whined as I brought Will into a hug squish him, resting my chin on his head. "How can you be mean to this face?" I squish his cheeks as he narrowed his eyes at me not impressed.

"Nylander you broke my roommate," Steph giggled as I rolled my eyes and playfully push him away but he in return almost fell off the stool.

"I am starting to think I should have just asked Marty," Will huffed regaining his position on the stool.

"Don't worry, William. Amelia is just in delirium right now from a lack of multiple things." Stephanie teased bringing me into an awkward side hug and it's my turn to glare. Gently pushing her off towards the couch where she dramatically threw herself over to watch TV.

"Whatever, Where you want to stay if up to you. I am going to have that shower now. Will, the room should be made already if not just bugged Steph," I smirked as Steph huffed from the couch but didn't protest.

  Collecting my gear that I dropped at the front door when I caught the food thief, I toss my nasty gym clothes into the wash and then poured some baby powder into my box gloves and my gym shoes to absorb the sweat and the odor. Empty the bag I take with me to the rink, my collection of oils, creams, and physio tapes tumble out onto the folding table before I rearrange the bottle back into place in my medicine cabinet where I keep all my first aid gear and massage oils.

 Grabbing my massage chair I bring it out of the laundry room and lay it against the wall before grabbing sanitizer spray to spray it down for tomorrow because Morgan will be over for his pre-game shoulder massage which has become a vital part of his routine or that's what he says at least.

Finally having everything set for the morning, I'm gassed. I yawn leaning against the door frame of the room watching Steph click through the movies on Netflix and William disagreeing with anything she suggests before she smacks him and chooses the notebook much to Williams dismay and whining.

"Have you even watched the Notebook?" Steph snapped at the hockey player who silently shook his head and both of us girls groaned.

Grabbing the box of tissues from the cabinet to myself I push myself off the doorframe and hand the box to Will who passes it to Steph but Steph hands them back before smirking.

"There for you, big boy," I clapped him on the back before head to my awaiting shower.

  I'm practically sleepwalking by the time my shower is done, the hot water relaxed me to the core. Mindlessly drying myself off, brushing my hair and going into my closet, I throw on a soft loose shirt and black shorts before yawning extra hard and walking to my bed throwing myself over to another side to Check my phone on the side table.

Somewhere between reading a text message from Ricky and my dad, I must have fallen asleep because I'm slowly blinking open my eyes when there's a soft knocking on my bedroom door.

"M'come in" I sit up in time to realize I never actually put on my shirt, quickly tossing the white fabric over my head as a blonde I head pokes in followed by the rest of his body, a shaker bottle in hand.

"I thought you might want a protein shake to tide you over until Mitch returns," William offers the bottle, shyly standing in the doorway. I wave him over eyeing the shake with heart eyes, I practically snatch it from him when he gets closer. Drinking about half in the first go earning a chuckle from Will.

"Mmm so goood, thank you Will," I tiredly beam at the blonde.

"It's no problem, I got bored with the movie and Steph was really into," Will casually shrugs his shoulders before flopping in my bed face first with a groan and a giggle from me.

"You good?" I poke his tense shoulder as he lets out a sigh and turns his head to face me exposing a frown.

"I'm scared," He confesses making my heart ache for him.

"Of tomorrow?" slightly shocked

"Yeah, just its scary if we don't win tomorrow we're so screwed, it's just some much easier for us tomorrow than have to win on Sunday and hope Tampa loses. The what if we don't win tomorrow or the next and Tampa wins. We're so potentially screwed but not it hurts my head," Will groans in the pillows before his shoulders slump and facing me again still sad.

My head hurts for him and all the leafs but the rookie's success brings this added pressure for them. Now that they've done big things, that's all people expect is great.

"Well, Willy you have to remember you're only human just like everyone else on the team and on the ice. You're also not alone out there, you guys have already proved yourself all you can do is play your damn heart out and if that's not enough- well fuck them. As long as you played your hardest screw everyone else," My voice firm and soft like I was with Auston earlier.

"You're also not the only one freaking the fuck out, Auston was hiding in a private therapy room and told him almost the same thing," I chuckle at the memory from earlier. William flips on his back staring up at the light gray ceiling before looking back at me with a soft smile making his feature look much younger.

"Amelia you're really good at this making people feel relax thing, Auston told me about his little meditation session but didn't tell me about his freak out," Will's lips quirk up into a smirk at the end earning him a glare.

"If you think you can chirp him for being a human being with emotions, I'll personally let the team know about your freak out, William Nylander." I threaten the smirk right off his face making him pout.

Before anything else could be said the door of my apartment is slammed open then closed with a yell from Mitch about my food and probably a grumble that only could be heard by Steph because of an auditable slap and a yelp from Mitch.

"He's whipped," William laughs.

"And you wouldn't be?" I tease giggling at Williams grumpy face.

"You know you're just as good at making people feel bad as you can good," William whines getting up from my bed before dragging me up too, grabbing the almost empty bottle of shake and finishing it off much to my protests.

"Hey!"

"Shouldn't have been mean," William taunted pushing me out of the room.

I near attacked Mitch for my food when I get to the living room, leaving the poor boy wide-eyed as I attack my steak, broccoli and salad the smell assaulting my nose and making my stomach roar in hunger so loud I was now the one left Wide-eyed as everyone laughed.

"Down girl," I muttered rubbing my tummy as I set my food on the dining table and plopping down into a chair ready to devour the delicious contents but stopping in my greedy quest id chew to thank Mitch even though he is his own reason for going out.

"Thank chew," My words muffled.

"No problem," Mitch smiles as he plops between the empty space between William and Steph throw his arm around his girlfriend.

"Better not be a problem YOU ate her food," Steph poked his chest with gusto before cuddling into it. shaking my head now over the little episode from earlier now that I am eating.

Food and showers work wonders.

Halfway through my food the familiar sound of hockey starts coming from the Tv meaning Mitch probably is watching gameplay, Williams confession earlier makes me stop mid-chew to look over to Will practically hiding in the couch now looking at the screen, making my heart ache. Looking at food then back at Will, I sigh before finishing my salad and closing the container before sticking it in the fridge with a longing stare.

"Hey, Uhm Amelia my shoulder is stiff do you have any of the shoulder cream?" Williams' voice breaks me from my staring contest with my food, startling me. Turning around and almost knocked into him he's so close.

"Jesus William, Yeah it's either in the cabinet or upstairs," I know it's down here but I think he just wants to not be watching hockey. Heading to the laundry room with William in tow, I pull him in and open the cabinet door open blocking off the view into the room.

"Actually need this," Holding the A535 in my hand "Or just don't wanna be here?" I said ridiculously gesturing around the apartment. Will's shoulders drop relief.

"Just don't wanna hockey, you know?" His expression pained and sad.

"Well, let's go upstairs and 'work on the shoulder' leave these love sickos alone," I teased closing the cabinet, nudging Will with wink pushing him towards the stairs. Wishing Mitch and Steph a good night.

William gets to my bed before I do and lays starfish taking up the entire queen sized bed.

"Better move your ass over boy,"

"or what?" William challenged like a child wagging his brows getting more comfortable on the bed. Rolling my eyes at the man-child that is William Nylander. Turning my back to him to set up my laptop to my tv and turn on netlix and queueing up Pirates of the Caribbean, turning back to bed where William is still taking up the bed eyes closed. Turning the lights off, I jump on the unprepared blonde.

"ah," He groaned.

I laid on my stomach across his giggling as his arms surround me and flip me over to his side and adjusts us so my head lays on his chest his arms still around me. He's incredibly warm making a chill run down my spine.

A good chill.

I reach down the bed to pull my fuzzy blanket that I keep folded at the end, pulling it over us. Making me snuggle closer to William because of the heat his producing and the fabric of the blanket still cold from the air.

"Thank you for letting me stay over," William whispered halfway through the movie slightly starling me, forgetting my personal heater is, in fact, a person. Tilting my head up lazily, my blue eyes connect with him, full of emotions that I can't pinpoint.

"It's not a problem," I smiled softly up at him as he smiles down, his large surprisingly soft hand (not that surprising knowing Will) brushes the hair from my eyes to behind my ear before his handsets under my jaw. My cheeks are on fire due to my blush, I am not used to-to this type of intimate-IS THIS INTIMATE?- contact. Williams thumb faintly brushes over my lip before leaning his head down brushing his lips against mine softly.

This would have been great if I didn't squeak causing him to jerk his head smashing his head down against my nose spring instant tears and another squeak. My hands fly to my face instinctively protecting my nose from more damage.

"Oh my- are you okay? are you bleeding?" Came Williams frantic words helping me sit up straight, my hand's still over my face as I stare wide-eyed into Williams equally wide eyes. Embarrassed being an understanding.

"I am so sorry, just I thought there was a moment, I, I just went for it. Oh, man, that's one way to say you don't wanna kiss," Will ramble trailing off at the end look dejected.

"No, it's not that its - I-" I paused taking my hands from my face a tiny bit of blood on my hands, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand to my left cleaning up a little, stopping the bleeding before going on.  "You're hot, believe me- but I don't like you like that,"  My face was scolding hot with a blush.

"Thank god," William huffed falling back in the pillows. "I thought there was a moment then nothing- I felt nothing it was like kissing a relative,"  a chuckle and a snort turns into a fit of laughter only stop by my aching my nose.