#47 seconds

“All this time...You remembered?” 🥺

Regret.

Richard Castle was filled with regret.

Like ice water in his veins: he could feel every painful drop of it as it coursed through his body, freezing him from the inside out.

Two years ago, when he invited her to his home in the Hamptons, he had been warned - by his mother, by the boys, by Beckett herself - to tread carefully, that this wasn't a smart decision, that someone was bound to get hurt. Like a fool, he didn't heed their warning. He doubled down: insisted his intentions were pure and, somehow, he had managed to convince Kate of that, too.

They'd been out of the city for mere hours before the façade fell, before they both stopped trying to convince themselves that this was a purely platonic weekend getaway, before they acknowledged that - like everyone else had already suspected - this was anything but innocent.

On night one they were already pushing boundaries, dangerously close to breaking the unspoken rules they had lived by for the past year.

By night two, they had created an impenetrable bubble where the rules and the complications of real life couldn't get to them. Within the walls of his Hampton home they had created a new life. A life where maybe they could be together, enjoy each other's company without guilt. A life where their touches didn't have to be restrained and the magnetic draw to one another didn't need to be ignored.

Night three and they felt like it had been this way forever: holding hands as they walked along the beach; occupying one another's space, talking and laughing as they cooked dinner together; snuggling up while watching TV or reading books... it felt like they had spent a lifetime doing these things.

What happened next had only felt right. It was tainted by the bittersweet knowledge that in the morning they would be returning to reality, that it would never be repeated, that it would never be spoken of again -- but still so right.

He didn't regret their one perfect weekend together. He never would. But that summer he found himself wondering if he should have pushed harder, if he should have asked her to give them a real chance.

He supposed he always knew, deep down, that they weren't ready back then. That is, after all, why he had turned to Gina and why (he assumed) Kate had turned to Josh.

Distractions. From what they both wanted, but weren't ready for.

Over the proceeding two years, that idea had only solidified in his mind. After that summer - when he returned to the precinct - it took them a beat to find their feet again, to find their balance with everything that had changed, everything that hadn't. They got there easily enough, considering.

He had let himself believe that it had been a sign that the universe was on his side... on their side. They slotted right into each other's lives so seamlessly, so effortlessly. Surely that had to been a sign that they were destined to figure this out, right?

And that, right there, was the cause of this all-consuming regret. His foolish belief in destiny.

In fate.

In them.

Maybe without that naivety watching the love of his life inadvertently confess to remembering her shooting, to remembering his tear-filled confession of love and to lying to him with such ease wouldn't be quite so painful.

Maybe without that naivety he never would have allowed himself to so recklessly fall for her - someone who never had and never would love him back - in the first place.

Bad things can happen no matter what you do Everything gone in a flash Nobody's tomorrow is guaranteed So, how do you plan to act? 47 seconds is all it takes 47 seconds can make the world change It makes you think about all those things in your own life That you don't wanna put off anymore So what if the timing's wrong? You're willing to wait but what are you really waiting for? We have have dreams; things we'll get round to when we have the time How much longer can you drag your heels? All those opportunities they'll never have; you don't want that to happen Act on how you feel

47 Seconds by TheFifthSister.

47 Seconds is a song inspired by the season 4 episode of the same name.

“Always” is an album of original music inspired by the ABC show Castle, its themes, characters and relationships.

Always can be download at: thefifthsister.bandcamp.com/album/always. All proceeds will be donated to CHLA on behalf of the cast and crew.

The Unexpected

SUMMARY: Castle overhears Beckett interrogating Bobby during the Boylan Plaza bombing case, but instead of storming off in a hurt fit, he is too stunned to move. 47 SECONDS AU. Oneshot.

He was ready to admit his feelings to her (again) 🥺

'All this time...you remembered?' 😭

And she was ready to hear his confession 🥹