#42mins

42 minutes into Black Bear (2020)

What a great question, but I’m going to start with some really nerdy definition of terms, because I feel that the way the term is used on the internet is unhelpfully imprecise. I often find myself saying ‘nope that’s just ordinary labour’ to posts about women wrapping their male partner’s Christmas presents or whatever.

I read a really interesting interview with Arlie Hochschild, who originally coined the term ‘emotional labour’, where she talks about the way the term had ben extended. She originally used it to describe the work of regulating your own emotions in the workplace - for example in hospitality you don’t just have to do the work of, but perform happines about that work as well. (And one of the interesting points is that there is a huge amount of emotional labour involved in being in 1D and fans demand that sort of performance of the right emotions very intensely and in all sorts of ways. The second thing I’d point out is that this analysis gets to the heart of why ‘Treat People with Kindnes’ is a super fraught command. And ultimately I go backwards and forwards about whether or not Harry is fundamentaly unaware of the dynamics of the cost of performing kindness, or if it’s a reaction to the demands put on him - and I suspect it’s both)

So I’m going to start with answering the question - who does the most work regulating their own emotions around their family. I’m not going to give individual explanations, but to me there’s two parts of the question - to what extent does their family context make complex emotional demands on them do they deal with this through emotional labour or withdrawl. So here is my list of emotional labour around families: 

Liam Payne

Louis Tomlinson

Niall Horan

Harry Styles

Zayn Malik

But I also want to answer the other question - who does the most care work responding to their family’s emotions.  Obviously that’s barely a question - it’s Louis, we have the screenshots from his sisters of their conversations.  

But with the others, I think it gets complicated, because now there’s the question of emotional competence. If two people do the dishes, and one is very bad at it and takes twice as long, do we say they are doing more work? With Liam I have no doubt that he thinks that making people happy is his job role and that includes his family, but is he any good at responding to other people’s emotions? 

And then the other question is again about withdrawal - to what extent do 1D members withdraw either from their family, or from any responsibility of people’s emotional response (and there’s all sorts of stuff to consider here - including Nick and Hary’s conversation about competitivenes in the car). 

3) What’s your favourite time of day?Midnight to 3am. I like how it feels when everyone else has gone to bed and I’m still awake. Also love how high the moon is and how the darkness of night outside feels otherworldly and delicate like it could be broken with the right sound or movement. 

9) Something you thought you would regret, but didn’t?Pretty much every time I’ve paid extra for a side of sauce. I love sauce! I love DIPPING THINGS into sauce! Even if I have to pay a tiny charge for it (which my Taurus self HATES) it is worth it for the decadence of swirling whatever it is I’m eating around in my little sauce cup (which my Taurus self LOVES). But yeah I always question paying for it anyway. 

15) What would you consider an absolute must for a playground to be worthwhile?Swings that are sturdy enough to hold adults as well as those little bucket ones for babies. Feel like this is super basic but tbh if I went somewhere with a slide and monkey bars but NO SWINGS or only kiddie swings I would be so mad/would truly say or think “lol this ain’t a playground.”

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