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Vinnie starts suiting up for practice Monday morning, well aware of Ryan’s absence. He didn’t get much sleep the night before, too stressed over what might come the next day.
When everyone’s made it to the locker room and Ryan’s still missing, Vinnie tries to call him but gets a busy tone in response. He swallows hard and whirls around the room looking for anyone who might have answers.
He’s panicking. He can feel the air rush out of his lungs. Everyone he turns to is avoiding eye contact. They’re all tucked into their stalls doing their pre-practice maintenance with their heads down.
At this point, the reason why Ryan’s missing is obvious but Vinnie’s in deep denial. He heads over to where Jonny’s just walked out of Q’s office.
“Where’s he going?” Vinnie asks, feeling like the ground is going to give way any moment.
Jonny sighs and fixes him with a pitying look. “Looks like it’s gonna be Nashville,” he answers, reaching out and patting Vinnie on the shoulder. “Sorry, bud.”
Vinnie nods numbly and shuffles back to his stall to finish getting dressed. Right before they’re supposed to be hitting the ice for practice, he grabs his phone and goes out in the hallway hoping Ryan will pick up this time.
The phone rings, no busy tone, but it goes to voicemail. “Hey, man. You, um, you didn’t come in today. I guess it’s obvious what that means. Tazer said Nashville? I- uh,” Vinnie struggles to get out, the next few words choking him. “I’m gonna miss you. You...we, fuck.” He clears his throat. “How long until you have to leave? I have to see you. Call me back, yeah? Please?”
Vinnie quickly hangs up before he says something stupid and heads out on the ice to join the rest of the guys. Practice is somber, practice is always somber these days but today is brutal. When he gets back to his stall, his phone is flashing with text notifications from friends and family. It’s official, Ryan’s going to Nashville. Vinnie scrolls through the pitying messages until he sees one from Ryan.
I leave tonight
Vinnie has to do some mandatory interviews after he gets dressed but once he’s done talking about how he hopes to hug Ryan before he leaves, he rushes off to do just that.
He floors it to Ryan’s apartment, his old apartment. He was planning on living with Ryan again this year, but with how shaky his spot in the lineup looked in the beginning of the season, he figured it’d be safer to get his own place.
Vinnie knocks on the door and Ryan opens it with bloodshot eyes.
“Shit,” Vinnie whispers.
Ryan yanks him inside and wraps his arms around him, crushing him to his chest. Riley, Ryan’s dog, clamores at Vinnie’s legs.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Ryan says into Vinnie’s unruly hair. “I thought I had more time. We…”
“I know, I know,” Vinnie responds, squeezing Ryan back just as hard.
They eventually collapse on the couch and on each other, Ryan’s face tucked into Vinnie’s neck, Vinnie’s arms wrapped around Ryan’s waist. The only sound permeating throughout the room is the soft puffs of breath Riley takes from where he’s sprawled on the ground next to them without a care in the world, and the unnerving tick-tock from the gaudy wall clock Ryan was so adamant to buy last year.
After some time, Ryan places a gentle kiss to Vinnie’s neck, and then another, and another.
“Ryan…” Vinnie doesn’t know what to say. The words too late too late echo in his head.
“I thought I had time. I thought we were going to have the rest of our lives here. If I’d known...if I’d known then I would’ve said something sooner I would’ve…” Ryan mumbles into Vinnie’s skin.
Vinnie looks down and tilts Ryan’s face up to meet his. They gaze at each other, an unspoken ache passing between them. Their future together in Chicago - on this team - something that was sweet and strong, starts dissolving.
Vinnie leans down and gingerly places his lips over Ryan’s, their breaths intertwining. The kiss is gentle and full of yearning.
When they part, Ryan rolls off of Vinnie and sits next to him with his head in his hands. “We were gonna win the Cup and I was going to kiss you. Alone on one of our Cup days, I was going to kiss you in front of it,” Ryan admits, rubbing his hands over his face. “I had it all planned out, our first kiss.”
“How long?” Vinnie asks, his heart tugging inside his chest.
“The second I got drafted,” Ryan says, sneaking a look at Vinnie.
Vinnie smiles meekly. He got drafted a year before Ryan. He remembers watching Ryan get drafted at home, thrilled that he was going to see him again, to be in Ryan’s future and have him be in his. Vinnie’s crush on Ryan from when they were kids dissipated but it never fully went away. That was evident when he first talked to him at World Juniors and then again during the Hawks training camp.
Vinnie reaches out and grabs a hold of Ryan’s hand.
“It could still happen,” Vinnie says, tears threatening to spill. “Not our first kiss but...you could come back. If you sign with them for a year or two, you could come back after.”
“I don’t want to leave in the first place,” Ryans grumbles.
Vinnie squeezes his hand. “I’ll wait. I can wait.”
Riley must sense their distress because he hops onto the sofa and settles his head in Vinnie’s lap.
“I’m gonna miss you too, buddy,” Vinnie says, petting him with his free hand.
Ryan turns Vinnie’s hand over and laces their fingers together. “We’ll have summers together, right?”
Vinnie nods. “We’re obviously going to be done in April so, I mean if you want, I can come down and stay with you? Or I can-”
“You can stay with me,” Ryan says before Vinnie can finish his thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ryan leans in and kisses him softly before standing up. “I have to finish packing as much as I can. My parents will be here in a few hours to help with the rest of my stuff and settle the lease and Riley and everything else,” he says, dragging a hand through his hair.
Vinnie nods and stands up too. He leans over and kisses Ryan on the cheek, lips lingering as if they’ve finally found a home that they’re being forced to give up. Vinnie eventually pulls away and takes a step back. “I’m not gonna say it right now but you know I…”
Ryan smiles for the first time that day. “I know. Me too.”
They reach out to each other at the same time, drawing the other into a hug. “We’re gonna be okay.” Vinnie isn’t sure who says that, he isn’t sure it matters.
He leans back in the embrace and gazes into Ryan’s eyes again. Hope and determination takes root in the breathy tick-tock apartment. What was once sweet and strong between them is now firey and infinite.
“We’re gonna be okay,” the other one of them says with complete and utter confidence.
